Wrath of the baby programmes! Homer donates a large sum of money to PBS to keep his favourite show the Shut up family on air. However PBS are able to trace his phone number from when Marge donated and send a crew to make sure he coughs up! When he can't afford to they attack with their various stars and mascots! Most of them being children's show characters.
Plot
Homer is watching PBS.
"You are watching PBS." said the announcer.
"Don't tell me what to Watch! Stupid TV!" said Homer.
"Dad you're watching PBS?" Lisa asked.
"Hey I'm as shocked as you are but I've stumbled upon this delicious British sitcom!" said Homer.
"Do Shut Up?" Lisa read the titles.
"It's about a hard drinking hey loveable family of soccer hooligans." said Homer. Oscar glared at him. "Sorry, 'football' hooligans." Lisa sighed at Oscar's insisting upon British terms. "If they're not having a go with a bird, they're a row with a wanker." Yes Homer says wanker.
Lisa quickly covered her ears at Dad cursing. "Dad! Watch your language!"
"What? Oh..."
"Did I hear the W word?!" Marge yelled as she came in.
"It was Dad..." said Lisa.
"Homer! You're supposed to be setting an example! Now give yourself a soap in the mouth!" Marge scolded Homer.
Homer groaned and went off to do just that.
Oscar watched the show. It was as Homer said, British football hooligans drinking, swearing and fighting.
"Oi! You tosser!"
"Jolly sodding Christmas, Major!" A character smashed a bottle over another's head.
"You gave me a smashed noggin last year!"
"Be grateful you old git!"
Marge gasped at the language and switched off the Show.
"Hey!" Oscar whined.
"Oscar I don't want my kids watching that! And if you want to live here you'll abide by my rules! Look Happy Little Elves is on." said Marge.
The a Happy Little Elves danced about as sappy music played. Then the curious bear cub sniffed things with his big green shiny nose.
Oscar wet his pants when he saw the green bear cub sniff things with his shiny nose.
Marge sighed.
...
Homer is then watching Marvin Monroe's the Shut Up! Family, not realising it's supposed to be a serious sketch about family problems to advertise Dr Monroe's psychiatrist office. However the programme is interrupted by a telefon pledge by Betty White. Again Bender from Futurama and Gerald from Hey Arnold!'s possible father are manning the phones again.
Homer is so annoyed by this interruption he donates their entire goal, 10,000 dollars so that they'll put his programme back on and stop interrupting.
Homer laughs smug with the fact he didn't give his name so he's anonymous and they won't be able to collect their money.
However Betty explains that they can track phone numbers and are aware the Simpsons made the donation and are sending their pledge crew to the Simpsons house right away.
"D'oh!" yelled Homer as the pledge van pulled up.
After Betty and the crew praised him for his generosity he tried to claim the bank was closed. However it was open and running as usual. He tries to rob the bank with a banana.
"Homer, you don't have that ten thousand dollars do you?" Betty comforts him as he begins crying.
"No." Homer sobs.
"There, there..." Betty comforts him. "Destroy him!" she suddenly yells and all the crew and PBS characters surround him.
Homer screams and runs away.
"After him!" Betty yells.
Homer is chased down Main Street by baby show/cartoon mascots. The Teletubbies are shooting lasers at him from their head things. (Po's circle etc.)
"It's a beautiful day... to kick your ass!" yelled Mr Rogers carrying a metal pipe.
"You die now!" Yelled Yo Yo Ma who was using his violin as a shortbow and fired fiddles at him.
Homer screamed and hid in an alleyway. However Big Bird ambushed him and squawked. Homer screamed and ran away.
He ran past his house. Bart, Lisa, Maggie, Hugo and Oscar were watching from the living room window.
"Looks like PBS are mad at Dad for some reason." said Bart.
"We have to do something!" said Lisa.
"Why?" asked Bart.
"Because it looks really stupid seeing annoying baby show mascots running around." said Oscar. "And I feel the need to beat up a few annoying baby show mascots today."
"And we need to save Dad." Lisa added.
"Yeah but mostly I want to kick Elmo's ass..." said Oscar.
"Oscar language!" Lisa told him off for swearing.
...
Lovejoy is doing some spring cleaning in the church when he hears Homer yelling "Sanctuary! Sanctuary!"
"Oh why did I teach him that word?!" Lovejoy groaned. Homer bursted into the church and locked himself and the reverend in.
"Reverend you've got to hide me! PBS and their annoying, sappy kid's shows are after me!" Homer yelled as he grabbed Lovejoy's shirt.
Suddenly a garbage can came in flying through the stain glass windows. Oscar the grouch popped out.
"Give us the money!" Oscar yelled. Elmo then appeared from the bin.
"Elmo knows where you live!" Elmo yelled menacingly.
Homer and Lovejoy screamed and ran away.
"This is ridiculous! We have to do something!" said Lovejoy.
Teletubbies were babbling like babies and firing lasers from their head antennas at them.
"You'd think being chased by killer Teletubbies would be fun... But eh no..." said Oscar Tamaki.
"Give us the money!" Oscar the grouch yelled.
"We need to hide. My house will do Lovejoy." said Homer.
"I want to stop for ice cream..." Oscar whined.
"No!" said Homer.
"Take me, or I'll hold my breath for a million years!" Oscar yelled precisely doing that. Well attempting to hold his breath in a tantrum. His face turned pink, then red then purple.
"He'll pass out soon." said Homer.
Elsewhere Dora the Explorer was being annoyingly sappy and educational.
"Swiper no swiping!' And uh stopping Swiper from stealing things.
"I'm the map! I'm the map! I'm the map! I'm the map!" Dora's map sang.
"By the Elder Gods above! Make it stop! MAKE IT STOOOOOOOP!" Moe screamed.
"Look at that silly man Boots!" said Dora.
Back at Homer and Lovejoy. Oscar had passed out as his attempts to hold his breath in a tantrum didn't work and he simply passed out.
Elsewhere Marge was in town with Hugo buying greetings cards.
Hugo was watching the store TVs, they were showing live news of Homer being chased by PBS. Mostly their celebrities on the Phone Ins and baby show characters.
"Uh Mom? Dad's on the news..." Hugo winced.
Marge sighed embarrassed.
...
Soon baby show mascots were rioting and smashing up the place. Cookie Monster had turned to cannibalism.
"Cookie monster eat you! Nomnomnombom!" said a bloody Cookie Monster as he mauled someone to death.
The Simpsons and the Lovejoys were locked away in the Simpsons house for their own safety. They were watching the baby show characters rioting. Roofi soon joined in the carnage and so did the entire cast of Bear in the Big Blue House.
"This is so embarrassing..." Marge sighed.
Lisa backed away from the bay windows as Cookie Monster slammed against them angrily.
"Give Cookie Monster the money! And cookies!"
Homer whimpered.
"Reverend we have to something!" Marge lamented.
"Marge is right! Oh won't somebody please think of the children?!" cried Helen. The Simpsons rolled their eyes at her catchphrase.
"Hmmmmm! Kids go upstairs and play." Marge didn't want the kids involved in their conversation. All the kids went upstairs. That's Bart, Lisa, Maggie, Hugo, and Jessica Lovejoy. Jessica was glaring at Bart as they went upstairs to Bart's room.
Oscar was lying on the floor unconscious.
"What happened to Oscar?" Marge asked.
"He wanted ice cream, I said no so he held his breath in a tantrum until he passed out." said Homer.
Marge sighed.
Outside.
The PBS and some baby shows on their network ie Teletubbies and Sesame Street, were still angry and wanted Homer.
Curious George threw a brick through the window of the Simpsons lounge.
"I think we went too far..." said green sweater guy offering an album on museum sounds.
"How about a plague of snakes, to devour you for your insolence!" Betty White yelled. She's evil in this episode...
"Come on children! It's fun to kill Homer Simpson!" said Barney the dinosaur. Yes Barney the dinosaur.
"Oh god! They have Barney the dinosaur!" Homer screamed.
Teddy, Oscar's living teddy bear creature was reviving Oscar. Oscar soon regained consciousness.
"Awww... I passed out before I got my ice cream..." He groaned. "Where's everyone?"
"The kids went upstairs sweetie." said Marge,
...
The Kids were all hanging about in Bart's room either watching the carnage happening outside or talking.
Oscar came in.
"Oscar what is your problem with baby shows?" Bart asked him. He didn't notice Jessica pour itching powder down his shirt.
"They're just sappy and annoying!" Oscar replied.
"But you like Happy Little Elves." Bart retorted before having an itching fit as he started scratching himself madly.
"I only like the curious bear cub because of his big shiny green nose!" Oscar replied.
"I'm not gonna even ask..." Lisa sighed. Bart was yelping because of his itchiness.
Hugo smirked watching Bart scratching himself from the itching powder.
Oscar was watching Bart rolling on the floor scratching himself. "Okay, I like Bear in the Big Blue House because the characters are cute and Bear looks like my teddy bear, Teddy."
Jessica sniggered at the mention of him having a teddy bear.
Hugo then tried to woo Jessica. "Hey wanna try the crazy twin brother..." he tried his best romantic voice.
"Ugh! Why does your breath smell like rotten fish?!" Jessica was disgusted by him.
"Hugo stop trying to chat up my ex girlfriend!" Bart yelled from the floor as he was still rolling around.
"How long do you think the grownups are gonna be?" Oscar asked.
"I dunno but apparently Mom doesn't want us ear wigging." said Bart.
Jessica used a pea shooter to launch a spit wad at him but he deftly dodged it.
"Let's just play video games for the rest of the afternoon." said Bart.
"I'm going to my room to read..." Lisa sighed as she hated mind rotting video games.
"I'm going to the attic to read..." said Hugo.
Notre Dame, France. Several centuries ago.
"Sanctuary! Sanctuary!" Quasimodo yelled while hiding in the cathedral with Esmerelda who was unconscious from smoke inhalation.
"Oh why did I teach him that word..." Frollo groaned.
Also Esmerelda dies in the original book and so does Quasi. Oh and Frollo isn't pure evil in the book only the Disney film.
Back in Bart's room. He is playing Bonestorm.
"Hey! I'm supposed to be tormenting you in revenge for your goody two shoes sister foiling my plot to frame you for stealing from the church money tray!" Jessica yelled.
"Sorry Toots, but this is a Homer Simpson episode. You'll get your revenge storyline at some point." said Oscar playing Bonestorm.
Plot 2
The Lovejoys had a plan of how to raise the money Homer owed PBS. He would become a missionary working on a former nuclear test island inhabited by natives.
"Oh Marge and I did the missionary last night... (purrs seductively and growls while sniffing Marge's hair.)" said Homer.
Marge giggled. "Homer! Not in front of people!" she had to remind him not to talk like that in front of people.
"Homer... A missionary is one of God's workers who helps spread Christianity to heathen tribes." Reverend Lovejoy explained, embarrassed by Homer's dirty talk. "Now we know where Bart gets it from..." he whispered to Helen.
"Oh. Wouldn't they be happier if we just left them alone?" Homer asked. He has a point. The crusades ended five hundred years ago...
"Now that's heathen talk Homer..." Lovejoy scolded him,
"No it's not! Not everyone is Christian Reverend!" Oscar yelled startling the grownups because he was upstairs with the kids. "Krusty is Jewish! Apu is Hindu."
"Well those people are going straight to-" Lovejoy seethed.
"Now hold on Tim. Oscar's right. Our neighbours, store owners and pharmacists who live among us have different faiths and I don't think less of Apu because of his faith." said Marge.
Oscar smirked at the Reverend.
"But Oscar this isa grownups conversation. You won't understand everything so please get your keister back up those stairs mister!" Marge shooed him back out the lounge.
Lovejoy frowned.
"Look Homer do you want my help or not?!"
"Yes but I'm just saying! Not everyone believes in Jebus!" said Homer.
"It's Jesus! And as a missionary it's your job to enlighten misguided heathens!" Lovejoy yelled.
"Apu might not like being enlightened..." said Homer.
Lovejoy seethed.
"Reverend he's right! Stop forcing your faith on everyone!" Marge paused. "Save that for yiur daughter. Kids are too young to choose their faith.
But the episode teaches a bad lesson about religious tyranny anyway.
Oscar scowled as be went upstairs. He went back to Bart's room. Bart was now playing Bonestorm on arcade mode.
"So what are Mom and Dad saying to the Reverend..." Bart asked.
"He wants your dad to be a missionary..." said Oscar.
...
Homer soon found himself on a plane being parachuted down to a tropical island.
"Ah! Why am I on this plane?!"
"Homer I told you. You need somewhere to lie low for awhile so we're flying you to some former nuclear test island to be a missionary." said Lovejoy.
"Can't I just stay at home waiting until PBS get bored?" Homer whined.
"No." said Lovejoy. "Now hop out and open your parachute so you land safely.
"But!"
"Get off my plane!" Harrison Ford yelled, shoving him off the plane.
"Save me Jebus!" Homer screamed as he fell.
Luckily Homer used his parachute and landed safely. He then met the natives.
"Um hi." said Homer.
"Hello." said the chief. "I am-" He made a choking sound that sounded like he was speaking another language and coughed up a bone.
"That's your name?!" Homer asked.
"No I was choking on a chicken bone." said the chief. "My name is Qtoktok and this is my brother Ak." Qtoktok explained.
"Nice to meet you." said Homer.
A little girl who looked almost like Lisa stepped forward. "I'm Oovilu-Eeoo-Kitana-Wanjay. Please to meet you."
"I'm gonna call you Lisa Jr!" Homer noticed her resemblance to his own daughter.
The little girl grumbled just like Lisa would when annoyed with Homer.
"Hey, how comes you all speak such good English?" Homer asked.
"Many missionaries have come here before you. They tried to build church." Ak pointed to the half built church. "But we skinned and ate them."
Homer screamed loudly.
At home.
"I still think sending Homer to some deserted island was a tad extreme..." said Marge.
"It's not deserted Marge, a misguided tribe of heretics live there. And they need our love and guidance." said Lovejoy.
"They are not misguided! You're misguided!" Oscar snapped.
...
Eventually PBS left town. Everyone started cleaning up the mess they made.
"Ugh! If I find any more Tubby toast..." Marge sighed as she picked up half eaten pieces of Tubby toast with a pointed stick to stab them to pick them up to put in a trash bag.
Oscar laughed.
"I wonder how Dad's doing?" Lisa asked.
Meanwhile Homer was being chased by angry natives around the island.
"Gouge out his eyes!" Qtoktok yelled waving his spear about.
"You're just making God madder!" Homer yelled.
"We don't believe in your pathetic God!" The tribesmen yelled.
(Angry yelling from the natives.)
At home.
"I'm watching cartoons..." Oscar groaned.
"Don't make any pledges to PBS..." Lisa warned him.
"I won't..." said Oscar.
Eventually Homer lost the natives and began building a treehouse to live in. He relayed what had happened to him back home via a ham radio. However he was passing time by licking frogs. He then hallucinated the frog speaking in Marge's voice and used it as the hearing and speaking com for the radio.
"Hellooo!"
"Marge! The king of the potatoes is mad!" Homer replied while high.
"Homer are you licking toads..." Marge asked him.
"No..." Homer lied.
"He's definitely licking toads..." Oscar muttered back home.
"Oh save me Jebus!" Homer cried.
"Oh! Hang in there dear!" said Marge.
After she ended communication Homer giggled madly on toad/frog poison and started licking them again to get high.
Oscar sat down to watch the PBS pledge.
"Hey Bender's on this!" He cooed.
"Hey! Bite my shiny metal ass Homer Simpson!" Bender yelled.
...
After putting the ham radio com down Marge sighed. Oscar was in the living room watching Bear in the Big Blue House.
Oscar was engrossed in the sappy show. Probably because of Treelo's big round wet shiny red nose. He was lying their on his stomach wearing just a diaper.
Homer went native and abandoned his clothes wearing only a loincloth and brandishing a spear. He tried and failed numerous times to catch food.
Lisa Jr then found him but she didn't alert her tribe because she was vegetarian and didn't agree with their cannibalism. She helped Homer find food and guided him safely around the island.
"Yes I am a vegetarian and I don't like my tribe's cannibalism. You have nothing to fear from me." said the tribal girl.
"Okay Lisa Jr!" said Homer.
"Don't call me that!" The girl yelled.
Oscar arrived.
"I'm omnipresent remember?! I'm everywhere at once!"
"We need to gather food, you can help strange floating boy." said Lisa Jr.
However Homer wanted to lick toads all day. Then a butterfly landed on his arm.
"Oh! A butterfly!" said Homer admiring the cute butterfly. However it started burrowing into his arm and crawling under his skin. Homer screamed as the butterfly slithered about inside his skin before cutting it out with a knife. He learned quickly that the butterflies on this island were dangerous.
Oscar thought the deadly butterflies were cool though.
"Coooool! Those butterflies are some Jumanji-esque shit!"
Homer was too overwhelmed by what just happened with butterfly burrowing into his arm he went inside his makeshift house to lie down.
Oscar and Lisa Jr gathered food.
"That's poisonous, that's poisonous..." Lisa Jr explained.
"The only thing poisonous round here is your attitude..." said Oscar.
Lisa Jr rolled her eyes.
They dug up yams and roots.
Homer was just licking toads.
Lisa Jr frowned at him.
Elsewhere Qtoktok and Ak were actively hunting Homer. "That interfering missionary must be here somewhere!" said Qtoktok.
...
Homer was lying down in his hammock licking toads. He licked a green one but felt nothing.
"Nah..." He tried licking a red toad. He felt rather funky as his pupils got big. "Oh there it is! Hehehehe!"
However he was so high on licking toads he thought the red toad was speaking to him.
"Hello? Hellloooooo?" said Marge's voice from the toad.
"Uh?!" Homer was concerned.
"Helloooooo? Is there anybody in there...?" said Marge as hippy music played and weird kaleidoscope imagery and stuff.
Homer shook away the hallucinations and heard Marge calling him from the ham radio.
He quickly answered. "Marge! It's me!"
"Homer we were so worried!" said Marge.
"Well I have been gone a fortnight." said Homer.
"... Homer it's only been two days..." said Marge.
"What?! I swear it's been longer." said Homer. "Without TV the days just seem longer... don't you get that? Anyway how are you all doing?"
"Mom won't let me read Hagar the horrible..." Bart whined.
Oscar laughed hysterically.
"I just don't find him funny..." said Marge.
"Okay I see while I'm gone the family is falling apart... Bart you're the man of the house now."
"Yes!" Bart cheered. Everyone whined concerned by his regime of madness.
"Lisa, you're now the boy." said Homer. Lisa groaned.
"Maggie, you're now Lisa." Maggie sucked her pacifier.
"And Toaster you're now the baby."
The toaster popped up some freshly cooked slices of toast.
"I want Toaster to be the Brave Little Toaster..." Oscar whined.
"No Oz..." Homer groaned.
"And Marge you're a consultant." said Homer. Marge sighed annoyed.
"And Freak, you're our snooty Butler now." said Homer addressing Hugo.
"Certainly master." said Hugo suddenly dressed as a butter wearing a towel on his arm as he went of to clean etc.
"Anyway, how are things over at your end sweetie?" Marge asked.
"Oh terrible! The tribesmen want to crack open my skull because I'm an interfering missionary! I had to flee into the jungle with Lisa Jr!" said Homer.
"Stop calling me that! My name is Oovilu Eeoo..." said Lisa Jr angrily in the background.
"Lisa Jr dear all they can hear is static..." said Homer. "Anyway then the king of hippo people was all like whatchu talking bout, Willis? And I had tea with the..." He clearly sounded high.
"Dad are you licking Toads?" Bart asked.
"I'm not not licking toads..." said Homer. Then he ended the call and left. Then ran back and licked a red toad and giggled.
...
Homer then encountered another tribe. He cautiously took out a bible.
"Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" They whined while lying on the floor kicking.
"Eh..." Homer joined them crying "Oh God! Oh God!" and wagging his legs like a stuck turtle on its back.
Then he got up and read from the book of Psalms. It amusingly said "But the almighty God will shatter the heads of his enemies! Cooool!" said Homer.
Some Mormons heads suddenly shattered on mass.
"Nice going Mr Head explodey! You need a coffee?" said the sarcastic gay angel to God.
"...Ugh... yeah..." God sighed giving him money to buy a coffee because he was mad and needed to calm himself.
Then Homer decided to help them build a church. But he wanted to do things Flintstones style.
"Now everyone knows it's hilarious for animals to be household and construction site appliances..." said Homer. "ahahahaha! (Screaming with laughter) Look! That pelican thinks he's a cement mixer! Come on little fella, say something funny... like an old wise crack... like It's living... that sorta thing..." the pelican fell over dead and solid with hard cement in its beak. "Uh oh..."
Meawhile, as he was man of the house now. Bart instigated a copy of the British tabloid the Sun be purchased every weekday for him to read Hagar the horrible. He chuckled while reading the comic about the bad Viking husband and his bossy wife fed up with his shenanigans.
Marge sighed annoyed he found the comics funny.
"Hehehehe! I have no idea why I find this British comic funny!" Bart chuckled.
"Would you consider trying to read the Beano?" Oscar was holding an issue of the Beano.
"No, I would not..." Bart winced.
Plot 3
Then Ak and Qtoktok did a comedy sketch together involving a skull of the last missionary that bothered them.
"Hey, how can an Ace be both high and low?! Where's the sense in that!" said Ak drunk to an Ace of Spades.
Then the Chief called them round for another goat sacrifice.
"Goats. Pfff... I really hope we get to sacrifice another annoying missionary to our many gods soon..." said Qtoktok.
"Okay pipe down... now to honour our moon goddess..." said the Chief. He killed the goat, use your imagination I can't describe gore... Then they performed sone sort of ritual.
Meanwhile Lisa Jr gathered food for herself and Homer. Oscar used a butterfly net to catch some evil burrow under your skin and eat your brains butterflies to bring back to Jumanji. So far he had a few butterflies in a big jar.
Then the plot demanded that a kid from the second, slightly less murderous tribe joined Homer.
A dark skinned Bart look a like stepped forward.
"Oh hell no!" Homer screamed.
"Fine... don't have a sacred cow, man..." the boy stormed off.
"That's Hinduism. You're from some unknown tribe, hopefully a friendly one." said Homer.
"Well... We do drink blood out of the skulls of our enemies..." said the boy that resembled Bart with dark skin.
Homer screamed.
"Look stop yelling or I'll make you into a shrunken head.." said the boy.
As the Bart kid left Tak from Tak and the power of the Ju Ju stepped forward. Hey it's an island of primitive natives and spears and bones through their noses...
"I'm from that CGI Nickelodeon cartoon that really should have been 2D animated with loads of jungle hazards like several quicksand fetish scenes... I get it.. you don't like my show..." said Tak.
"No. it had so much missed opportunity..." Oscar glared at him.
Homer lead Lisa Jr, the Bart like boy from the second tribe whom he dubbed Homer Jr or Hoju.
"That is not my name..." Tribal Hoju frowned. It is now.
And of course Tak and Oscar. Oscar was collecting more deadly butterflies.
"Why?!" Tak was baffled.
"Why not?" Oscar smirked.
...
At Springfield.
While Homer was away Bart went to work at the power plant.
"Hiya, Homer." said Lenny.
"That's not Homer." said Carl.
"It's gotta be. He's parking in Homer's space." said Lenny. Bart chained his bike up in Homer's parking space.
"Well, time to get to work. Mmm." said Bart when he got in Homer's work station. He went to sleep.
Mr Burns came in. "Simpson!"
"Aah!" Bart screamed.
"I've just reviewed your 10 year performance record, and it's appalling." Mr Burns was cross.
"But I'm not Homer Simpson." Bart protested.
"I think I know who Homer Simpson is." Mr Burns snapped. "In 10 short years you've caused 17 meltdowns. One is too many." Sixteen is reasonable?!
"Yeah, but-" Bart stammered.
,You sold weapons-grade plutonium to the lraqis-with no markup." said Mr Burns.
"He shouldn't be selling plutonium to terrorists full stop!" Oscar growled.
"But-" Bart stammered.
"And worst of all... you took the Hamburglar's birthday off last Monday and Wednesday. Which is it? [Exhales]"
"I don't know?! That's just hilarious and random!" Oscar laughed hysterically.
"Oz no! I'm being chewed out by my boss here!" Bart groaned.
"Ohohohoho! It's okay Homer. The little urchin has a sense of humour that's all." said Mr Burns.
"Now, my voice is giving out, so I'm just going to poke you for the next hour or so." said Mr Burns annoyed at Bart thinking he was Homer. He poked him all day.
Bart sighed.
Oscar went about the plant. Lenny and Carl are arguing.
"And I say The Phantom Menace sucks!" said Lenny.
"And I say it's great!" said Carl.
Oscar sighed and rolled his eyes.
...
Elsewhere in town the baby and toddler show mascots calmed down and ended their bloodthirsty mob.
Town was full of baby show characters tidying up. I.e. Big Bird, Elmo, Cookie Monster, Oscar the Grouch, The Teletubbies, Bear in the Big blue House, Mr Rogers etc.
"Cowabunga! Cookies!" said Coooie monster.
"Elmo tidy up now." said Elmo.
"Perv..." Oscar still thinks his voice actor is guilty.
"Grover remembers when he was president." said Grover.
"Grover you were not President Grover Cleveland..." Hugo groaned.
That would be hilarious though.
"Anyone else think this situation is extremely lame?" Nelson sighed looking at all the baby show mascots.
"No." said Baby Oscar in a diaper being carried by Bear from Bear in the Big Blue House.
Bear was going on about things like potty training and that babies need lots of naps.
Oscar was too busy staring at his big, wet, shiny black nose.
Also he was planning to leave Oscar with Treelo the clown lemur thing...
Treelo was bouncing about on his tail.
Betty White, Fred Rogers and several baby show mascots were being arrested because of the riots.
"Not only is work hard today it's stupid..." Wiggum sighed as he arrested Big Bird.
"Daddy why are you arresting Big Bird?" Ralph asked.
"Ralphie didn't you notice the mayhem caused by PBS earlier?" Wiggum asked his son.
"I'm not dreaming still?!" Ralph asked. Apparently he dreams about baby show characters going nuts.
Sarah sighed taking Ralph inside.
Also it was the Hamburglars birthday according to Homer. Or that he used that as an excuse to stay home from work twice.
"Smithers is Hommukkah a holiday?" Mr Burns asked Smithers.
"No Homer Simpson made that up to pull a sicky." said Smithers.
At Bear's big blue house.
Bear put Oscar in a high chair. He groaned figuring he would be in this sappy kids universe for some time.
...
Continuing...
Oscar was then bothered by Teddy and Treelo.
They sniffed him with their big wet shiny round noses.
Teddy grew to adult size and lifted a Oscar out of the high chair. He grinned and sniffed his diaper.
Oscar sweated and blushed.
Teddy continued sniffing him.
At home after school.
"Kids how was school?" Marge asked.
"So so. Is Dad on the Ham Radio?" Lisa asked.
"It might be night in his time zone dear." said Marge. "Oscar how was school?"
"Coool! We were learning Alchemy in Springwarts lessons. I decided to be a Good Samaritan and teach a few things to Rod and Todd." said Oscar.
"Oooooh mmmmmmm!" Marge and Lisa were concerned.
"What's wrong?" Oscar asked.
At Ned's house. Lounge.
Rod and Todd drew an alchemy transmutation circle in the lounge and Rod laid their dead mother upon it. Um he dug her up somehow...
Todd read a book on alchemy and then they touched the alchemy transmutation circle and red lightning and lights shone out.
At the Simpsons Lisa can see the light show from the bay window.
"They're performing a human transmutation to bring back Maude..." Lisa sighed.
"Oh shoooot..." Oscar gulped.
As a result of performing a human transmutation to bring back the dead, Rod lost his arm and Todd, his entire body. Rod then performed a soul bonding transmutation upon a suit of armour in the living room but his leg was taken as an equivalent exchange. Ie you can't create out of nothing.
"Oz stop referencing Full Metal Alchemist..." Bart groaned.
"Never!" said Oscar.
"How was work sweetie?" Marge asked Bart.
"Terrible... Mr Burns mistook me for Dad and told me off for all the bad things he's done at work!" said Bart.
...
The tropical island.
Oscar warped back to be part of Homer's storyline. Homer was licking toads again. Homer giggled as he got high on toad poison.
Oscar rolled his eyes.
Then he was incensed by Tak being a missed opportunity of a cartoon because the animators thought: "Kids love CGI like Shrek right? Let's just use CGI. Done."
Oscar noticed the trees were getting thicker.
"Eeeeew! What smells like bad eggs?" Homer groaned. They were entering a swamp.
Oscar smirked evilly.
"Homer, why are you here..." said Hoju.
"Look, the point is, I want to help. But you don't need a well or a chapel or an immunization center." said Homer.
"Yes you do need an immunisation centre! If a thing here bites me or I controact some nasty plague I want to get a booster shot to cure me!" Oscar yelled.
"Reeeeeeeee!" A wild Antivaxxer screamed angrily.
Oscar threw Hoju's spear at them. Impaling them straight in the heart.
"Hey! Hands off the spear..." said Hoju.
"Look don't contradict me Oz! Now let me help! Won't somebody here let me help?!" said Homer.
"Heeeeeeelp!" Tak cried from somewhere.
"Oh good! Someone needs my help!" said Homer.
They ran but skidded to a stop when they got there because Tak from Tak and the power of the juju was sinking in thick slimy bubbling mud. Some sort of quicksand or quagmire bog.
"Don't struggle! You'll only sink faster!" said Lisa Jr.
"Get me out of this gunk!" Tak grunted as he was stuck up to his waist in the bubbling quagmire.
"Cooooool! Quicksand!" said Oscar. He got aroused again...
Everyone was busy rescuing Tak.
They grunted as they struggled to pull him out of the stodgy, bubbling mire.
Eventually they pulled him out of the mud.
Oscar sighed at ease and out of breath.
"Oz stop being turned on by quicksand!" Homer groaned.
...
Meanwhile Hugo as a butler was spring cleaning when...
Caillou arrived.
"Oh shazbot!" Hugo groaned.
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! I WANT COOOOOOOKIEEE!" Caillou screamed.
Hugo clutched his ears in pain.
Then outside Clifford the big red dog was stomping about and making stock giant monster roars.
"Leaping lizards!" Milhouse gasped.
Rod and Todd were still parodies of Ed and Alphonse Elric.
Back on the island.
A Tribesman spoke about how he hated macaroni and cheese.
"I prefer to drink the blood of our enemies!" He yelled.
At the Simpsons Hugo as a butler was pouring tea.