All's Veldt That Ends Veldt Maggie gets hypnotized by pikachu after watching too much Pokemon and runs off while the Simpsons go to visit Stampy at the conservation park.
Plot
One morning Bart causing absolute chaos in the kitchen and scaring the cat and the dog while dressed as a Safari hunter.
"Outta the way folks! B'wana Bart, wild animal catcher coming through." Bart yelled trying to toss a washing basket onto the pets.
Hugo hissed at him, startled.
Lisa was smiling relaxed as she listened to music on a Walkman.
"Bart! I know you're excited to see Stampy but please calm down!" Marge sighed.
"What's Stampy?" Hugo asks.
"Bart's elephant." said Lisa. "You've missed a lot locked up in the attic. Bart getting a tattoo... Maggie shooting Mr Burns..."
"I could have throttled that Bill and Marty when they sent you a fully grown bull elephant!" Homer said cross with the whole situation that happened with them getting an elephant.
"But Mom I haven't seen Stampy since we sent him there." said Bart antsy and excited despite being told to calm down.
"Speaking of Maggie, where is she?" Marge asked.
Lisa was deaf to the world as she was listening to music.
"She's in the living room watching cartoons." said Bart.
Maggie was watching a bizarre parody of Pokemon called Pikkanose and the Porkymen.
"Pika booga!" said Pikkanose, the Pikachu parody as he used his hypnosis attack on Maggie to hypnotise her.
Santachoo thought the idea of him learning hypnosis was silly.
"Come on Maggie, you can watch cartoons later." said Marge taking Maggie who was hypnotised.
The family are packing up at Marge's orange car for a trip to the nature reserve Stampy now lives at.
In the car ride there Lisa was listening to an environmental friendly, liberal boyband singing about protecting the environment.
"La de la! Recycle! La La la! Let's grow some flowers in your heart!"
"Ugh! What is that you're listening to?!" Bart whined.
"None of your business Bart..." said Lisa.
"Oh Bart... it's just one of the latest boy bands she likes." said Marge.
"Well luckily I don't have to listen to that!" said Oscar. He put on some oversized colourful headphones attached to a Walkman and played Metallica songs at high volume. Lisa could feel the bass.
"Oscar! That must be far too loud for your ears!" Lisa warned him.
"Lisa he can't hear you. Besides that's how you're supposed to enjoy that style of music." said Bart.
Elsewhere. At Ned's.
"I can't wait to get to Old Testament survivor camp." said Rod.
"Two whole weeks of campfire and brimstone." said Todd.
Harry Potter chewed "gum" and breathed fire from it. "Tis brimstone." Yeah sure Harry...
"Now you two are more fun than a barrel full of monkeys." said Ned.
"MONKEYS!" Oscar screamed outside as the Simpsons were getting in the car to see Stampy.
Ned sighed.
"Bye Daddy." said Rod. Ned hugged his kids.
"You're the apple of my eye Rod." said Ned.
"You're the apple of my face." said René Magritte with a green apple in front of his face.
Rod winced.
"I'll miss you too Todd."
And then they went to bible camp. Otto or someone Ned trusted took them.
Ned sighed saying more old turns of phrases feeling lonely. Because Maude died... duh.
...
They arrived at the Springfield Veldt where Stampy lives. They signed in all the paperwork and Homer had to chase Bart because he kept running off to see Stampy. Or buy from the gift shop.
"Those rubber snakes are mine!" said Bart running off.
"Get back here boy!" Homer yelled.
Hugo shrugged and ran off too. "Look at me! I'm making a spectacle of myself!" he yelled.
Homer eventually managed to retrieve Bart and Hugo. They were in the gift shop.
"Where did you get to?" Marge asked.
"Oh Bart was trying to get me to buy him this toy tarantula..." said Homer.
"Nuh uh! I was just looking at the rubber snakes." said Bart.
"Well let's not forget why we're actually here! To see Stampy!" said Marge.
They all went to look at all the exhibits and animals. The best way was on the safari train.
"Good because I don't want a repeat of that time we took Grampa to the zoo!" said Marge.
In Old Money Homer wanted to liven up the Safari drive by going off the designated route. They went down a bumpy road through jungle.
"Look! It's Aunt Nora's sports car!" said Oscar as he noticed a familiar red car. He waved at Peter and Judy were standing outside it.
"How did he get in Jumanji?!" said Peter as they had invaded the episode Perfect Match.
Back in the present they got on the train. The passed by the animals, an anteater made trumpet sounds, a hippopotamus went "Blaaaaargh!" and fired mouth ki energy beams and a toucan went "Tooki-Tooki"
"Isn't nature breath taking?" Marge asked.
"Mmmmmm! Gazelle-licious..." Homer moaned while drooling.
"I think they're breath taking mom. Especially since all these walking manure factories aren't house broken!" said Bart.
"Hmmmmm! Bart..." Marge sighed at Bart's talk of animal waste.
"Look! We're passing through the Sloth Exhibit!" said Oscar. Lisa was too busy listening to her music to notice.
"There's an animal you can relate to, Homer." said Bart. There was a sloth sleeping.
"That does it! I'll teach you to insinuate me with animals!" Homer strangled Bart.
"Homer! Sit down!" Marge told Homer off. He let go of Bart and sat down.
At bible camp or Old Testament Survival camp.
It was something...
"Carol! Samantha is going to this wonderful bible camp! It'll stop her from kissing boys!" Mr Stanky yelled.
"Harold for goodness sake! It's normal for Samantha to receive a cute first kiss. On the cheek!" Carol Stanky yelled pulling Samantha away from him. "It was on the cheek dear?"
"Yes Mom." said Samantha Stanky.
"Oh! How cute!" said Carol.
"IT'S NOT CUTE! OUR DAUGHTER'S A HARLOT!" Mr Stanky yelled.
Rod and Todd winced.
"Rod... what's a harlot?" Todd asked.
Rod gasped like he said a bad word and covered Todd's mouth.
They were then introduced to the camp leader. A young vicar.
He then showed them their cabin. They were sharing with those two Amish kids in Bart's class that couldn't watch Fuzzy Bunny's guide to You Know What.
"I'm Ishmael." said Ishmael. That's clearly an Amish name...
"I'm Ezekiel." said his brother Ezekiel.
Unfortunately Oscar wasn't here to make silly references.
Oscar on the train that was going around the zoo/Wild animal sanctuary frowned and Thanos snapped his fingers.
In Rod, Todd, Ishmael and Ezekiel's cabin, Ishmael from Moby Dick appeared.
"Call me Ishmael." said Ishmael.
Then Ezekiel from Aqua Teen Hunger Force was there.
"I am Ezekiel, that is me, Ezekiel." said Ezekiel who was Master Shake's long lost son or something.
Rod and Todd winced.
...
Oscar was then disobeying the park warden's warnings to keep all body parts in the cars of the train. He stuck out his arm.
"Oscar..." Lisa pushed his arm back in. Then he gave her a petulant look and stuck out his leg.
"Oscar!" Lisa pulled his leg back in. Then he stuck his arm back out. "Oscar!" Lisa started getting frustrated with him.
Then they passed through the gorilla exhibit.
"Look! That baby gorilla looks just like Maggie!" said Homer. The gorillas looked like Bartzan's gorilla family. The calf Homer pointed out looked like Maggie.
"Speaking of which, where's Maggie?! Oh my god!" Marge panicked as Maggie was missing.
"She must have escaped somehow at the Sloth exhibit!" said Oscar.
"Lisa! Take off those headphones! This is important!" Marge yelled.
Lisa did so. "What is it Mom?" Lisa asked.
"While you busy listening to your music your sister has gone missing!" Marge nagged.
"Actually I was distracted trying to get Oscar to keep his arms and legs in the car." Lisa explained.
Oscar stuck his leg out of the train.
"I think we can all learn from the sloth..." said Homer calmly.
"Don't you sloth me Homer! You were supposed to be looking after her!" Marge nagged.
"Look I'll rescue her." said Bart hopping off of the train.
"Hey! No vacating the train until it comes to a complete stop!" The park warden warned.
"Bart no!" Marge cried.
"Don't worry Mom. Think of it as losing a son and gaining a daughter! Or was it losing a daughter and gaining a-" Lisa explained.
"Hmmmm! I was hoping to save that for his wedding day." Marge sighed.
"And what if he doesn't have a wedding day? What if he wants a civil partnership with Milhouse or something?" said Oscar.
"Like hell I'll let that happen!" Homer yelled.
"Homer!" Marge yelled.
"Bart's marrying a lady and growing up to be a regular Burt Reynolds!" Homer ranted.
"Homer! Stop being so bigoted! You'll accept our kids choices no matter what! We've been through this!" Marge nagged.
"D'oh!" Homer groaned.
Oh and the comic adaptation was illustrated by Sergio Aragonés.
Oscar screamed when Sergio arrived.
He once again tormented Oscar with a comic named after something he hallucinated once when he was little.
Oscar screamed.
Marge sighed.
Bible camp.
Rod and Todd sat around the campfire with the other kids, such as Amish kids and girls with over protective fathers dumping them there for kissing boys at school.
The teacher or scout master taught them all that homosexuality was wrong and so was any form of love before marriage. Even a peck on the cheek.
"Teen pregnancy is a serious problem!" said the scout leader.
Yeah, in teens... not grade schoolers...
Then Moses from South Park as the Master Control Programme appeared.
"I desire... Popcorn necklaces." said Moses as the MCP from Tron.
Rod winced. I like how that's the one joke South Park did that cannot be ever considered offensive.
...
Maggie crawled through a bush and went to various exhibits. Right now she was in the gorilla exhibit.
Meanwhile Bart was heading towards some long grass and lionesses.
"Uh oh! Lions! Just act natural just walking to Ol watering hole..." said Bart trying to avoid drawing their attention.
The lionesses growled and chased him.
"Nyaaaaaagh!" Bart screamed as he was being chased by lionesses.
"Haven't you heard of the circle of life?!" Bart made a Lion King reference.
"Why yes Bart, that's just a nice way of saying Survival of the fittest!" said Lisa in his thought bubble as he must have remembered a time of her saying that or predicted she'd say something like that.
"D'oh!" Bart groaned.
He came to a river and leapt over. He just barely grabbed the other side and dangled there.
The lionesses roared and ran back to their pride in defeat.
Bart heard an elephant trumpet and looked up to see Stampy!
"Stampy! Am I glad to see you!" said Bart.
Stampy trumpeted and picked him up with his trunk. However he wasn't giving Bart a ride on his back. Instead he stuffed the little boy in his mouth.
"Ugh! Still like using people as human pacifiers don't ya Stampy..." Bart groaned. "They say an elephant never forgets. But yeeeeeech! I'd like to forget this!"
Meanwhile Maggie came across a family of gorillas. The dad growled and beated his chest to try to look intimidating. Maggie had her hypnotized eyes again. She spat out her pacifier at him and it clonked the gorilla on the nose and knocked him out. The other gorillas were frightened by Maggie's power.
Maggie hypnotized various animals for her master Pikkanose. Such as the Cape buffalo, known to be extremely dangerous when in a stampede, the cheetah, the fastest land mammal and the Duck billed platypus, the only venomous mammal.
"Spa-fon!" The platypus made Pokemon noises while hypnotised.
Plot 2
Speaking of Pokemon, there certainly weren't any at Old Testament survival camp as the church thinks Pokemon are the spawn of Satan. Crazy fools...
The campers passed the time reading the bible or playing bible approved board camps.
Unlike in comic issue 124, Todd was not a good boy and eating his vegetables...
"I don't want any damn vegetables!" Todd yelled.
Rod frowned at him.
"Pray on your blasphemy!" Todd got told off by the camp leader.
"This is madness!" Todd yelled.
On the Animal Sanctuary train.
Hugo noticed a cow in one of the habitats for wild animals.
"Why is there a cow there..."
"I shall destroy you all! Starting with the lactose intolerant..." said the evil cow.
Hugo winced.
"What's taking Bart so long?!" Marge was worried.
"Hellllp!" Bart yelled.
They gasped as they saw he was in Stampy's mouth.
"Oh my goodness!" Marge gasped.
"I'll handle this Mom! I just need a stick from one of those trees..." Lisa was trying to get a branch from an over head tree.
"I've told you thrice now car three! Stay in the car!" The park warden scolded the Simpsons.
Lisa stumbled and fell out of the train.
"Oh my goodness! Lisa!" Marge gasped.
"I'm alright mom!" said Lisa. "Oh great. That train is automated. Ill have to meet it back at the station..."
"Um... heeeeeelp?!" Bart called from inside Stampy's mouth.
"Oh yeah... I'm coming Bart!" said Lisa.
"Well hurry! I don't fancy being Stampy's chew toy much longer!" Bart ranted.
"Stampy! Sit! There's a good boy! Sit!" Lisa tried to get Stampy to obey her. He wouldn't.
"I'd hate to break it to you Lis, but Stampy's a savage beast!" said Bart.
"That's it! Only music can tame a savage beast! Well that wasn't the exact quote but..." Lisa had an idea. She was going to make Stampy listen to her annoying liberal music.
"Oh great, torturing Stampy with your awful music now?!" Bart groaned.
Stampy upon hearing Lisa's music spat Bart out in disgust.
"Well now I know what an elephant's uvula looks like..." said Bart.
"Bart are you all right? Eeeeeeew! You're covered in elephant slobber!" Lisa checked if Bart was alright.
"Yeah I've been slimed! Bwahahaha! Look out Lisa!" Bart started teasing Lisa as he dripped elephant spit everywhere.
"Bart! Quit it! This isn't the time for that! We have to find Maggie!" Lisa nagged.
"Fine..." Bart sighed. They got on Stampy and went to find Maggie.
...
Meanwhile Marge was lamenting the situation she found herself in with all except Hugo missing.
"Oh I'm a terrible mother!" Marge lamented.
"Now now dear, I'm sure there's worse mothers out there than you..." Homer replied.
"No there's really not..." said Hugo frowning.
"I'll teach you to disrespect your mother! Raaaagh!" Homer strangled Hugo.
Hugo made gasping choking noises like Bart.
"Homer! He's right! It doesn't take a genius to work out that locking him up in the attic for his whole life would make him resentful! If you want his respect you have to earn it!" Oscar yelled at Homer.
"Thanks buddy!" Hugo sighed as he gasped for air after Homer stopped strangling him.
Meanwhile Maggie was trying to hypnotize some hungry hyenas. But they just saw her as food and laughed. They were about to eat her when Stampy arrived trumpeting and stamping about.
"Wooooo! Go Stampy! Squash those stupid hyenas!" Bart cheered.
Stampy quickly grabbed Maggie with his trunk before a hyena could bite her and headed back to the train stop on Bart's instructions.
"Homer I'm not budging till our kids are safely all back in our arms!" said Marge.
"They'll find us! Now let's go to the coffee cafe!" said Homer.
"Mom! Dad!" called Bart as the three Simpsons kids arrived on Stampy's back.
"Oh my goodness!" said Marge.
The Simpsons reunited.
"Now that's a happy ending!" said Oscar taking out his camera.
"Not quite! Maggie, you've been a very bad baby running off like that! That's a bad baby!" Homer tried to tell Maggie off.
Maggie used her hypnotizing powers from Pikkanose and the porky men on Stampy. He grabbed Homer and stuffed him in his mouth.
"Mmmmmmmph!" Homer screamed.
Marge gasped.
"Relax Homer, not everyone gets to see an elephant's uvula!" said Bart.
"Shut up..." said Homer.
...
After the eventful day the Simpsons went to the gift shop. Bart was looking through the rubber toy snakes.
"Hey why are you wearing blue?!" Homer asked.
"I dunno. Matt must painted me in a blue shirt today." said Bart.
The Simpsons got home and Maggie taking the remote decided that she's watching Pikkanose and the porky men. A parody of Pokemon.
Bart groaned bored.
Marge was curious as to why her baby daughter liked watching the cartoon rather than shows aimed at babies such as Roofie.
"Well I'm going to Moe's." said Homer.
...
At Moe's.
Homer was sat at the bar next to Lenny, Carl, Barney, green hat guy and constantly drunk guy.
Oscar was typing up the episode.
"Let's see... We've got fat guy..." said Oscar.
"Hey! I'm not fat! It's glandular." Homer whined.
"The black friend. The skinny friend... Hey! Where is the wheelchair bound, crippled police officer friend?!" Oscar asked.
"Oz I dislike Wiggum. He's always giving me a ticket or citing me for misdemeanours..." said Homer.
"You need a crippled cop friend like Peter has Joe!" said Oscar.
The Barflies felt that was a bad idea.
"I like random things like that time where, rather than telling Titania in the bar keeper Duff Quiz that she gave a wrong answer the quiz master altered reality so that Duff is made of sparkling clear mountain goat..." said Oscar.
"You can really taste the goat!" said Lenny.
"Hey, Moe, this license expired in 1973... and it's only good in Rhode Island, and it's signed by you." said Carl reading certificates and signs Moe had up on his walls.
"Moe what were you doing in Quohog?" Oscar winced.
"Trying to get a crippled cop friend for Homer." said Moe.
"Guys! I hate cops! Always pushing you around... telling you the rules..." Homer ranted.
"Homer those rules are laws to prevent anarchy..." said Carl.
"I like anarchy..." said Oscar.
Suddenly there was a horrible crash outside.
They run outside the bar to find there was a car crash. And Chief Wiggum was involved.
"Oh my what a brutal car crash!" said Moe.
"And Wiggum got caught up in it!" said Lenny.
"And he's in a bad way!" said Barney. Wiggum was badly injured.
...
At Springfield General.
The Simpsons and Homer's drunk friends were at Chief Wiggum's bedside with Sarah and Ralph as you do.
Dr Hibbert had the news.
"Clancy's injuries are so serious he will be confined to a wheelchair for a while. Possibly the whole episode."
"How did this happen?" Sarah asked.
"Oh it involved an elephant that escaped from the wild animal reserve. No it wasn't Stampy, it was a female elephant." said Wiggum.
Later...
Clancy Wiggum had to get used to being sat in a wheelchair.
"Loooook! It's Joe Swanson!" A random 6th grader yelled.
Wiggum sighed.
Then he went to Moe's.
"Oh are you gonna cite me for having out of date certificates ie my expired liquor license?!" Moe berated him.
"Or tell me I can't drive my car because a head lamp is busted?!" Homer added.
"Guys I'm a cop... I have to enforce the law... otherwise there would be anarchy... And besides I'm pretty lazy at my job..." said Wiggum,
"Yeah but at the wrong times. You weren't in the mood to help when my son was being threatened by Sideshow Thingabob but you're on task every New Years Day afternoon to cite me with some petty charge..." Homer ranted.
"Homer littering is bad for the environment. And it's either me giving you a ticking off or the EPA SWATs coming in with their black helicopters." said Wiggum.
Homer scoffed annoyed as he liked to bend a few laws sometimes. Like that time the town had a surveillance camera network and Bart found a blind spot.
Homer was in the backyard at a blind spot, do whatever you want party. He was naked except for a clown mask covering his groin.
"Whyyyyyy?! My clown mask!" Young Michael Myers yelled.
"Want it back?" Homer smirked.
"Yeeeeeuck! No!" said Young Michael Myers as a kid.
And there was that time he was a beer baron in a prohibition.
"Prohibition is wrong..." said Homer.
...
At The Simpsons. The Griffins made a cameo.
"Machiavelli! You've told me nothing I don't already know! Sun Tzu's The Art of War..." Stewie was reading books a pen evil genius might read.
"Stewie, those books aren't for babies." Lois confiscated the books and put them back on the book shelf. "Here. Watch the Teletubbies." Aaaaaaagh! No! Not the Teletubbies!
"How dare you! That book may hold the key to my enslaving of all mankind." Stewie yelled.
"Coooool!" said Hugo picking up the copy of Sun Tzu's The Art of War and reading it.
"I'm a one bit character evil genius who's shtick is sic'ing giant robots on everyone and no Oz... I am not related to Kevin McCallister from Home Alone..." said Tobey MacCallister.
"Also you're hilariously frightened of your mom..." said Oscar.
"I am not!" said Tobey.
"Mrs MacCallister..." Oscar called out to someone.
"Aaaaagh! No Mommy! I wasn't attacking the town with giant robots again! I promise!" Tobey cried flinching.
Oscar laughed.
"Sorry, Stewie. A&E Biography is doing the life of the other guy from Wham." Peter wanted to watch a documentary on the guy who isn't George Michael.
"I'm free! Free from the spell of those diabolical Teletubbies! Thank you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless." said Stewie but no one understands him or responds to him.
"Peter! I put that baby's show on because Stewie was reading grown up books again!" Lois nagged.
"But you're always saying reading is a good thing!" said Peter.
"A baby shouldn't be trying to read Sun Tzu!" said Lois.
Peter went into a rage and was beating up Lois again.
"Oz, that's not funny..." said Hugo.
Plot 3
Bart was in his room with Lisa looking through their photos of their day out to see Stampy at the wild animal reserve.
Bart laughed at funny pictures he got of Dad. Ie Stampy stuffing him head first into his mouth.
Lisa giggled.
Bart then read his letters from Stampy. Actually the nature reserve staff pretending Stampy wrote those things.
Then he video called Kyle from South Park to berate him for copying his elephant story.
"Go away Bart! I'm feeding my elephant!" said Kyle feeding his elephant.
"Stop copying my elephant!" Bart yelled.
Kyle frowned.
Elsewhere Oscar was in toy making class at school as the evil corporation behind the Funzos still had teachers there. Mostly so Oscar could suggest stupid ideas for toys to them.
"Mr. Hope, I got a great idea for a new line of TV action figures. Facts of Life Transformers, huh? Watch the transformation. Cute as a button... fat as a cow... radioactive scorpion. (The cute girl doll turned fat then it turned into a giant radioactive green scorpion) Watch out, Mrs. Garrett. Here comes Blair." said Oscar suggesting more stupid toys.
"Um... I'll consider it..." said Jim Hope.
"He'll consider it!" Oscar cheered. "I got another one where Natalie's one of those spittin' lizards from Jurassic Park."
Ace the vampire winced exasperated.
At home, Marge is watching American Wheel of Fortune.
"Pat, I would like to solve the puzzle. "Go tuck yourself in."" said he contestant despite the obvious rude phrase the puzzle was.
A klaxon sounded.
"Ooooooh sorry! The answer was actually "Go Fuck Yourself"." said Pat.
"I very much doubt the network would air that..." said Marge.
Anyway in Family Guy Joe moved in and Meg was still voiced by Eliza Thornberry.
Oscar gasped with glee.
...
Moe's.
Wiggum in a wheelchair drank beer with Carl, Homer and Lenny, Oscar gave Lenny a new wardrobe of Hawaiian shirts and taught him to be a pervert.
"Ch-ch-chip N Dale! Rescue Rangers!" Oscar sang as he served Quagmire's booth their beers.
"Okay that's enough! I dress like Thomas Magnum! Not Dale from Chip N Dale!" Glenn Quagmire yelled.
Oscar laughed.
Moe's tavern phone rang.
Moe answered. "Moe's Tavern?"
Garbled High pitched chatter on the other line.
"No, this is not the Safeway Cleaners and Dryers!" Moe yelled.
[hanging up]
"Some idiot wants his pants pressed. Maybe we oughta get a new number." Moe sighed.
"Not so fast. We may be pressing pants again." said Clancy Wiggum.
Moe grimaced.
Wiggum then spoke about his son Ralph. Who clearly has learning difficulties.
"Little Ralphie sure is going places..." said Wiggum.
Homer groaned.
"I was in the B Sharps, once..." Wiggum glared at Homer.
"You got concussed and went do-lally!" Homer groaned.
"I helped your mom escape!" said Wiggum.
"Okay you did one good thing! But you keep riding my back over our old barbershop quartet!" Homer groaned.
Wiggum frowned.
"Is this scene going anywhere..." Carl sighed.
"Noooooo... not really..." said Oscar.
...
Quohog.
Joe's son who hasn't gone to Iraq or Afghanistan yet saw Meg.
"Hi I'm Meg." said Meg.
"I know. I've been admiring you from afar." said Kevin.
"Eeeeew!" Peter groaned.
"Peter, Meg's not your fart smeller yet. She's voiced by Lacey Chabert." said Brian.
"Oh my god! Meg ate Eliza Thornberry!" Oscar screamed.
A feral kid in rags ran out of the Griffin's jabbering in Donnie Thornberry gibberish.
"Goddamn it Tmas! Get back inside! No garbage for you!" Peter yelled.
Anyway Joe became the fourth drunkard in Peter's group of friends.
Homer got Barney.
Barney belched.
and retro blond Barney who is evil in the old episodes.
Blond Barney fights Homer.
"Hey! Hey! No fighting in my bar!" Moe told them off for fighting.