"Pride goeth before destruction..."
Proverbs 16:18
A life of service means having no days off. Kikyo thought it nice to stretch out in a field and watch the clouds, remembering her first and only time flying. Sesshomaru had carried them both in the air without fear or wonder. A miracle to her and merely an ability to him.
Since that night, Kikyo has dreamed for the first time and every dream is about flying as high as she can. She closes her eyes to dream again, but it's short-lived. Children from her village arrive out of breath and talking over each other. Eventually, she deciphers that Kaede needs to see her.
When she arrives home, Kaede is pacing a rut into the floor, her gray hair sticking to her face from sweat.
"Oh, sister!" She runs to Kikyo before she can make it through the threshold. "You must go after them."
"After whom, Kaede? Try to calm down."
Kaede rakes the damp hair out of her face and behind her back, collecting herself.
"Inuyasha and Kagome. They went in search of a jewel shard, but I've had a vision. They will encounter a terrible demon."
Kikyo's eyes lose their light and the coldness in her expression makes Kaede sweat again.
"That is no concern of mine," Kikyo says, turning away. "Do not bother me with such things, Kaede."
There are many things on the tip of Kaede's tongue but she isn't sure how to relay them to Kikyo. Despite being her sister, a feeling of disrespect always sets in when she thinks of challenging her. But it isn't worth any harm that could come to Kagome or even Inuyasha. Kaede isn't too proud to admit she's grown to care for him. So she asks the one thing that has kept her up at night questioning God.
"What happened to you?"
Kikyo balls a fist. The very mention of Inuyasha and Kagome's names are enough to incite the rage she struggles to overcome. She rounds on Kaede.
"There is nothing wrong with me except my own sister blatantly refusing to understand how difficult this is for me. It's as if you care more for them than you do for me."
The tears in Kaede's eyes bloat like dead koi. She's never cried so effortlessly. But Kikyo wants Kaede's remorse more than she wants to apologize to her. She goes to leave again, but Kaede isn't finished.
"You taught me that our personal feelings ought never affect our duty unless they were feelings of love. How do you ever hope to purify the jewel with such hatred in your heart? You shame yourself, Kikyo."
Kikyo can't look at her because it's like looking into a mirror. The words Kaede speaks feel foreign. Kikyo hardly believes she was ever the woman who first said them. It's easy to spout ideals before life puts them to the test.
Sesshomaru gathers allies faster than expected, to the point of overwhelm. With his irritation at an all-time high, Jaken suggests he takes a break.
"Milord, you mustn't overexert yourself. The real work hasn't begun yet."
Sometimes Jaken surprises him until he remembers that he had once led a tribe of thousands. Planning and execution come easily to Jaken. He only seems mired in details when he cares too much for Sesshomaru's preferences.
"Speak for yourself, Jaken. You look like you're going to keel over."
Jaken waves a hand, dismissing the notion. While Sesshomaru has been away eradicating demons that threaten their glorious ambition, Jaken has acted as emissary, winning more and more to their cause. This kind of work energizes him and perplexes Sesshomaru.
Jaken scrutinizes a lengthy scroll, nodding and muttering to himself. Sesshomaru casually comes behind him, peeking down, trying to make out the small, elegant handwriting. Jaken squints when Sesshomaru's shadow covers the paper.
"Our network is vast, milord. One hundred thousand. I am compiling a list of all the tribal heads and their retainers. We will need to hold a summit once the renovations to the manor are complete."
Sesshomaru almost chokes after hearing one hundred thousand. More than that, the thought of a summit unsettles his stomach. He takes a breath, aghast at the feeling of his usual calm beginning to fade. He turns away, swinging about so hard his fur knocks Jaken over.
"Milord, where are you–"
"I'll be back, Jaken."
As many of their encounters go, Sesshomaru shoots straight into the air before Jaken can say anything else.
Sesshomaru hates asking for anything, but in situations like this, he trusts no one more than his mother.
Returning to the field includes none of the tranquility from before. The wind is rough and the clouds of white have turned dull and gray. Looking up at the sky, Kikyo wonders if heaven is upset with her too.
The more she tries to forget Kaede's words, the louder they are in her mind, convicting the part of her that wants to be free of bitterness.
She looks down at the bow in her lap and its strings pulsing with her spiritual power. Strumming them, she closes her eyes, focusing on the energetic signature of the shikon jewel.
Very clearly, a picture of Inuyasha and Kagome with their share of jewel shards comes into view. Kikyo sighs. Does Kaede expect her to come to their aid every time they recklessly tear off searching for more fragments of the jewel?
"God forbid!" Kikyo says to herself, scoffing.
But the fear in Kaede's eyes had been real. Whatever she'd seen in her vision proved troublesome for Inuyasha and Kagome, so Kikyo secures her bow behind her back, fingers the arrows in her quiver.
"Are you satisfied?" she asks the clouds.
Sesshomaru touches down outside of the gate of his mother's home, the sprawling estate she was born and raised in before her marriage to his father. The guards who reek of sake perk up when they realize it's him.
"Master Sesshomaru!" One of them shouts, seeming to sober up instantly.
Sesshomaru just looks at him, and then at the other who's forgotten how his mouth works, and then at the gate that has yet to open.
"Oh, the gate! Sorry, sir, you just surprised us is all," the sober one says, glaring at the mute one. "Help me open the gate, you idiot!"
When the massive iron gate is finally open, Sesshomaru strides in. The guards step away from him as if repelled. He makes a mental note to tell his mother to replace them.
Walking the halls of the Moon Palace is like being transported back in time. An endless line of portraits of his ancestors tells the story of the Dog Demon tribe. He stops at the picture of his mother's father decked out in military regalia, to whom he is nearly identical. The man who named him 'Destruction of Life' much to his father's despair.
Sesshomaru ponders his stern face until the sound of his mother's footsteps draws closer. Isane wears a knowing smile.
"You've been stubborn, Sesshomaru," she says. "You are never too old to rely on your mother."
It seems all he's done lately is rely on others and he would never admit that it's eroding his confidence, but his mother has always seen through him.
"So you know why I'm here."
"I only know because Myoga begged me to intervene but I tend to get sick whenever I go down to that world. I'm sure you understand."
Sesshomaru huffs at the idea of Myoga watching his every move despite telling him repeatedly that he doesn't need him.
Isane heads back to her throne room and Sesshomaru follows, taking note of her jasmine and honey scent. She always smells like a lot of time and effort, but he remembers waiting in her dressing chambers as a child, watching as she prettied herself before their morning strolls in the West. It never took much time at all.
The ceiling of the throne room has been converted entirely to glass. Sesshomaru glances at the vastness of space overhead.
"Do you like what I've done with the place?" Isane asks, sitting on her throne and smoothing out her robes.
"Outlandish as ever," Sesshomaru says.
She grins deliciously, leaning in her seat. Sesshomaru takes a seat just outside of the dais, gathering his words. One would think he'd have done this on his way there but his tongue ties in the presence of his mother. Her confidence is more deep seated than his.
An ache burrows in her chest at the sight of him struggling. She curses Toga for it. He had always opted for giving Sesshomaru difficult lessons.
He has to do it on his own, he'd say.
But she's never mastered the maternal instinct not to do it for Sesshomaru, to spare him the agony of waywardness. Finally, he speaks.
"I'm loath to admit that my plans are getting away from me. I'm pleased with the progress but it's—"
"Overwhelming? It's quite alright to say so."
Sesshomaru barely nods. The thought of building something just for it to crumble before truly taking off makes him feel like an imposter.
"All is going just as it should, Sesshomaru. We experience the most resistance right before a breakthrough."
"A cruel notion," Sesshomaru says, taken aback by his disillusionment.
"Life, my son. We often suffer more in our minds than reality. Don't worry so much about the future when you have plenty to reckon with today. You've done well."
The praise takes the edge off. It would never have come from his father. He only spoke in riddles. He considers Isane's words, his part in his own discontent and a voice he has tried to suppress tells him that he will never be able to accomplish what Toga did.
"Why did father give Tessaiga to Inuyasha?"
Isane sighs. Tessaiga burdens her almost as much as Sesshomaru with how often she and Toga fought about it. What irritates her the most is that she agrees Tessaiga belongs with Inuyasha.
"Do you think of yourself as less than because you don't have it?"
There is nothing on Earth that could make Sesshomaru say yes even if the voice in his head often does. Tenseiga pulses at his side like a redheaded stepchild.
"Because I think," Isane pauses so that he looks at her, "that Sesshomaru of the Western Lands needs no introduction."
Sesshomaru leaves. In a way, he feels like three times the person he was before he visited her. When he passes a portrait of his father wielding Tessaiga, he notes how much Inuyasha resembles him. It doesn't make him as sick as it normally does.
The closer Kikyo gets to Inuyasha and Kagome's signal, the farther away they move. She suspects it's Inuyasha galloping from tree to tree. Despite this, she keeps a leisurely pace, not sensing any malevolent demonic force. Only a few demons are able to conceal their presence and she doubts there are any more soul eaters lying in wait.
She glides through a patch of medicinal herbs, making a mental note to return for them. As she draws near Inuyasha and Kagome, her stomach twists and an oppressive pounding begins in her head. But she brushes it off. The way Kaede had looked at her, as if she didn't recognize her, is something she never wants to experience again even at the expense of her broken heart.
Finally, she hears Inuyasha complaining about Kagome no longer being able to pinpoint the jewel shard. Kikyo realizes that she can't sense it either.
"A veil?" she asks herself. "What could be masking its presence?"
Kaede's vision comes to mind. At first, Kikyo thought little of it, confident in her ability to dispatch whatever might come up. But now she girds herself with more caution. Her father always said that pride was the gateway to hell.
"Well, the last time I checked, the shard was in this area, so we might as well have lunch until I sense it again." Kagome begins laying out a blanket and food.
Inuyasha makes a fuss until she compels him to sit. He appears irritated with her after he collects himself but his eyes instantly light up at the food. Kikyo positions herself to get a better look at them.
Kagome captures something Kikyo has never seen before with her chopsticks and feeds it to Inuyasha. His ears wiggle and he's more animated than Kikyo's ever seen him outside of a fight. The fractures in her heart begin to deepen.
Inuyasha lies back on the blanket, giving his body a full stretch before cloud-watching. Kagome continues eating but smiles at him.
"If things get dicey, I don't want you putting yourself in harm's way like you always do," he says.
Kagome's face reddens and she nearly drops her food.
"Well, the next time it looks like you're gonna die, I'll just let you!"
Inuyasha jolts up, getting right in her face but before he can mouth off, he sniffs.
"Sesshomaru," he growls.
Kikyo gasps, discarding her interest in Inuyasha and Kagome to focus her senses. Sure enough, she feels Sesshomaru.
"Wait here," Inuyasha says, surprising her and Kagome both.
Kagome calls after him to no avail, her 'Sit, boy' command just a whisper at his back as he fades into the thickness of trees. She mutters insults to herself and takes a huge bite of a rice ball.
"Hello, Kagome."
Kikyo reveals herself and the rice turns to glue in Kagome's throat. At first, Kikyo couldn't believe she'd reincarnated as such a silly girl, but after observing Kagome, she realizes she's the part of herself with permission not to give a damn.
Kagome's eyes water as she tries to swallow the rice. Her spine turns to ice at the sight of Kikyo.
"What do you want?" Kagome hisses.
"Everything and absolutely nothing at all, Kagome."
She studies the picnic blanket, so many foreign items that Inuyasha seemed perfectly comfortable with.
"Kaede had a vision that your search for a jewel shard might not go well today."
Everything in Kagome wants to tell her it was going quite well before she showed up, but she just watches Kikyo with her defenses firmly up.
"I mean you no harm," Kikyo says.
"Yeah, right," Kagome thinks.
"Well, look what the cat dragged in," Inuyasha says, coming up on Sesshomaru and Jaken.
Sesshomaru glances at Inuyasha's side. Tessaiga rests there so comfortably, secure in Inuyasha's touch but defensive at his. He remembers his mother's words, knowing he won't be free of his desire for Tessaiga until he actively lets it go.
"I thought I might stroll the forest without trouble today but we don't always get what we want," Sesshomaru sighs.
"Well, you know all about that, don't you?"
"You insolent puppy!" Jaken's rage turns him purple.
It's cosmically baffling how quickly Inuyasha is able to annoy him, but Sesshomaru continues to ignore the bait. His work for today does not include fighting. Despite his indifference, Inuyasha eyes him suspiciously, his hand on Tessaiga's hilt.
Sesshomaru turns back in the direction he came from but is nearly crippled by painful bellowing that begins to rattle the forest itself. The air around them vibrates. Inuyasha slaps his hands over his ears and teeters off balance.
Demonic energy shoots up from the ground like a geyser. Jaken is flung into Inuyasha's leg, clinging to him for support. Sesshomaru focuses on the sensation of his breath, the rise and fall of his chest, but his focus is only rewarded with more chaos. They stumble on the rumbling ground, driven to their knees by the force emanating from it.
Kagome scrambles trying to pack up her things and Kikyo watches her in disbelief at her priorities, but the very pressing matter of an earthquake-inducing demon demands her attention.
She scans every inch of their surroundings as best she can while trying to keep her footing, but there's no one to be found, not even a wild animal. The feeling of being crushed into the earth intensifies. She digs her nails into a tree that feels like it could be uprooted at any moment.
"What is the meaning of this?" she says, unable to hear her own voice.
She presses a hand to the ground, trying to sense anything but the endless shaking won't let her get a read. Kagome calls out to her again and again but it's no use.
Snatching up patches of grass, Kikyo doesn't stop until she reaches the soil. Despite the endless swaying, the feeling of the damp earth connects her with the source of the madness.
There are many who believe the Earth is a mother deity but she is in fact, a demon, a demon whose sleep is not to be disturbed until the time of the end of the world.
"The jewel has aggravated her," Kikyo strains.
It becomes harder to hold on, harder to see Kagome, harder to form a solution.
"Inuyasha!" Kagome screams.
Kikyo sees his name on Kagome's lips and wonders if that's how she looked after receiving the blow that ended her life.
Inuyasha remembers he left Kagome alone. All to pursue Sesshomaru. Their grudge seems pointless in the face of death but the grudge is hardly a thought to him compared to the image in his mind of Kagome alone and scared and wondering what the hell is happening.
From his core, he stabilizes himself to get on legs. He begins to leap away, heading back to where Kagome is. Jaken doesn't loosen his death grip on his leg. Sesshomaru watches them and after several minutes, he decides to go after Jaken.
Inuyasha lands roughly on the ground, stumbling over his own feet until falls, flattening Jaken.
Sesshomaru catches up to them, having found the strength to hover above ground, diligently fighting against the force that wants to bring him down again. He watches Inuyasha crawl to Kagome, reaching for her as she tries to rise from her facedown position on the ground.
And then he sees Kikyo. He flies to her, boots scraping the ground.
Kikyo shuts her eyes, chanting, trying to appeal to the demon in the belly of the earth. Sesshomaru lands next to her and she opens her eyes. A wave of relief brings the color back to her face. She reaches for him and he pulls her up to her feet.
"I need you to take me up!"
All he can do is read her lips but it's enough. The liftoff takes more physical effort than he's ever had to rely on but he shoots up and outside of the range of the quaking earth.
"Help me onto your shoulders, so that I can aim!" Kikyo still yells despite him being able to hear her just fine now.
Together, they maneuver her onto his shoulders, Sesshomaru keeping his hand firm on one of her legs. She directs him to the point in the ground that she uprooted and steadies her bow. Glancing at Inuyasha and Kagome to ensure their safety, she fires. The backlash of her energy cracks like thunder, but Sesshomaru holds her, not moving an inch.
Her aim is true. The arrow soars to the ground, into the patch she dug up. The demonic vapor erupting from the surface purifies, crystallizing into a thousand tiny shards, all of them except one glittering in the sunlight until they fade away.
"Gotcha!" Inuyasha jumps, grabbing the shikon jewel shard.
He locks eyes with Sesshomaru, then Kikyo, a venomous look on his face until the sound of Kagome's voice pulls him away.
"Hang on," Sesshomaru says, descending until they're on solid ground.
He helps Kikyo from his shoulders and to her feet. Jaken rushes to Sesshomaru, but his eyes are on Kikyo.
"I thought we'd gotten rid of you," he says.
Kikyo rolls her eyes, securing her bow to her back.
"Since when do they know each other?" Kagome whispers to Inuyasha.
Sesshomaru faces Kikyo, inspecting her dirty hands and robes, the tie securing her hair long gone in the chaos.
"Do you need to go to that place?" he asks quietly.
She claps dirt off of her hands, trying to restore her appearance as best she can. Realizing he's referring to her grotto, she reels back.
Jaken's head bobs between the two of them. Kikyo glances past Sesshomaru, at Inuyasha and Kagome doing absolutely nothing to hide their curiosity.
Sesshomaru moves to block Inuyasha and Kagome from seeing her. He lowers his voice even more.
"Do not worry about them. Just tell me what to do," he says.
At this, Jaken's jaw unhinges. He sputters but Sesshomaru glares at him until he shuts up.
Her last attack transacted double what the petrification ritual had and Kikyo knows it's only a matter of time before she feels the full effects of it. She won't have the luxury of returning home with the same leisure.
Feeling Inuyasha and Kagome's eyes still on them, she also has no desire asking for their help, so she says the only thing that feels right in the moment.
"Yes, Sesshomaru. Please take me there."
He brings her close to him and the feeling of flight washes over her again.
"Remain here, Jaken, and do not say a word to them."
Jaken can feel the hole Sesshomaru words bore into him. He wants to protest but knows it's out of the question. All he can do is watch them drift up, over the trees, and into the sky. Worse, he now has to figure out how to evade Inuyasha's violent grin.
"I don't know anything so don't even ask!" Jaken shouts, knees knocking together under his robe.
Before Inuyasha can get to him and do any number of ungodly things to make him talk, with the Staff of Two Heads, Jaken creates a smoke screen. Inuyasha barrels through it, but Jaken is long gone, transported deep within the forest, hurrying back to their manor in the West.
Outside of the grotto, Sesshomaru and Kikyo land. Flying in earnest after being tossed about and nearly swallowed by the earth have them both worse for wear, but Sesshomaru knows he's much better off. Kikyo pulls away from him, replacing his support with the entrance to the grotto and panting for breath she's unable to catch.
"Thank you," she gasps, "for bringing me here. I can manage."
Sesshomaru can smell the death on her, much more potent than the last time. He also smells her indignation, but he's learning to receive help as it comes, and she should as well. He extends his hand to her.
"I won't carry you this time, but we didn't come this far for nothing."
It makes sense to lie down and die. It's what she did the last time. The jewel, even tainted by her broken heart, could have healed her but it was easier to acquiesce to the shame telling her that her life no longer had any meaning.
"I don't even know why I bother," she says.
"Because you do. Now, come."
She takes his hand and they enter the grotto. Her soul collectors circle the pool but they gather around her as soon as they see her, swaying her towards the pool.
Too diminished to grab hold of the souls herself, the soul collectors simply drop them into the pool and they infuse with the water. Kikyo carefully undresses and Sesshomaru turns away. She smiles, remembering he's seen her in so many ways now; brimming with power, dying, and as naked as the day she was born.
"We're even again." she says before plunging beneath the water.
Sesshomaru has never pitied anyone or anything in his entire life. And he doesn't pity Kikyo, but the state of her existence is at war with his belief system. Twice now, he has witnessed the toll that her immense power exacts. Seemingly no reward is given for her effort but in a world that relies on the survival of the most fit, how can that be? His face scrunches at the question.
The sound of Kikyo sighing and resurfacing puts a pause to his brooding. She comes up only to her neck.
"You can turn around. Although, I'm a little surprised you're still here."
"You saved my life, again. It's no different than the last time."
She hums, swimming around, her strength returning tenfold with each second. Sesshomaru finally turns around and sits at the mouth of the pool.
"How long do you think you'll be able to keep this up?" he asks.
He hasn't come to terms with his death yet, but she courts it willingly.
Kikyo moves to where he sits, folding her arms. She rests her head, pondering the question.
"I have a duty. When the shikon jewel is whole again, I will rid the world of it. I also have a score to settle with the demon who took my life. He must not be allowed to remain unchecked."
Sesshomaru had never cared for the finer details of how Inuyasha became bound to a tree.
"Who is this demon?" he asks, curiosity ignited.
"A half-demon, once a man called Onigumo and now, Naraku. I have kept somewhat of a watch on him but the time is not yet right. However, he may prove detrimental to your goal to expand. I have reason to believe that he is the mysterious stranger who petrified Kaito's tribe."
Sesshomaru faces her head-on, a desire for retribution pulses through him.
"The world is not as vast as we think. This Naraku has tried to kill me as well. I refuse to wait until that jewel is restored. Tell me where he is and he'll be dead before nightfall."
Kikyo sighs. A small world indeed, one intent on keeping them involved in each other's affairs.