Would You Let Me Back In?

Chapter Twelve

"You'd think by now that you'd be over all of it," a mocking voice rings out. I quickly stand, getting out of bed before sighing when I realise who it is, having woken up from a deep sleep. Wonderful. I've missed my heart to hearts with Rumpelstiltskin.

"What are you doing here?" I mumble before looking out of the window, seeing that the sun is high in the sky. Judging by the warm breeze that flows through the open window, I know that winter has finally passed, and spring has settled in. "What do you want?"

"Well, I've realised that it isn't much fun to be had when you're so doom and gloom all the time. What happened to you?" he asks, his tone taunting but there seems to be a serious aspect in his voice, as though he's saddened by the fact that I haven't been present for much.

"Then find someone new to have fun with. You're not going to get it from me anytime soon."

"The people are surprised that you haven't shown your face. That you've pulled away all your men and took down all of those posters."

"They're surprised that I'm not longer a blood-thirsty tyrant? How awful," I return dryly before sitting down on the bed, tired of the conversation already before it even takes place. I carefully take my hair out of the braid, running my fingers through, how filthy it is and know that I need to wash it soon. "Just get to the point. Why are you here? What do you have to say about anything?"

"I'm here to bring you up to speed about everything, dearie," he returns, sitting down at the make-up table, running a finger along the wood, pulling it away to reveal a thin layer of dust. "Seems as though you need to clean, too. Anyhow, Snow White is getting married within a week to Red."

"You brought Red back?" I ask, turning my head over to him, slightly surprised even though I'm not too sure why I should be. He is very powerful and only the Gods above know that he, out of all people, shouldn't be capable of holding any form of power that mighty.

"Of course, I did," he says with a grin. "Why wouldn't I? Besides, her offer was so tempting that even I couldn't refuse, and you know how disciplined I am in that regard."

I stand now, looking at him warily, feeling my heart almost stop in my chest. "What did she offer you? How did you fulfil this… spell?"

"Oh, you know. Give a little, take a little. It's all part of the intricate balances of the world," he says nonchalantly and I'm well aware that he's deflecting the question.

"What did she give you?"

"… Well, I wanted the organ that dictate her love and who she gives it to. Quite simple as that. I gave her lover back and took… You know." He gives a sickly smile and my stomach sinks.

"She gave you her heart," I rasp out, unable to comprehend such a thing. "She… Why would she ever?! To you?!"

"Because she wanted her other half back with her. She wanted her love with her. The life that your men took out of cold blood. The one that you were so very jealous of…" His smile broadens and he opens up his jacket, taking out a heart. A pure red heart, completely clear of any darkness, any blemishes, except for a single, thin line that runs through the middle of it, indicating heartache… Some form of a broken heart. Over whom? "She still loves you… She still loves Wilma, and she still loves you, Regina. That's why I come as a messenger." He flicks his hand, a cream-coloured envelope appearing in it, and he holds it out to me.

"What is it?"

"An invitation. To what, I think you'll be able to surmise."

"To her wedding? But why would she ever want me to come there? Why would anyone want me to go to her wedding? Certainly no one has agreed to it."

"You'd be completely and entirely correct. No one has agreed to it because no one has known that you're receiving the invitation, not even Snow White herself. I took it just to look over it one night and decided that you should know at the very least, get you out of this little depression stage that you're in."

I eye him charily, carefully taking the envelope before looking down at the writing, staring at the cursive that hasn't changed since she was a child. I read over my name again and again. Even though I've seen it plenty, it seems so foreign now that it's written by her hand. Carefully opening the envelope, I read over the elegantly hand-written invitation.

Dearest Regina:

I'm not entirely sure how to word this, how to word any of this. I've never been in this situation before and could have never thought that a situation such as this could ever exist. It's surreal, to say the least. I guess this is a confession as much as it is an invitation but only the Gods know that I'm not brave enough to ever send this to you. I suppose just writing this makes me content enough to put my feelings on paper. But here's everything that I never allowed you to hear before I decided to head to Rumple for help with Red.

I loved you as Wilma. All the conversations we had, all those uncertainties I found that they were all true as I thought about them each and every night since the fateful revelation. I did fall in love wit you. But what I said about Red also holds true. I've loved her longer… as a lover. I loved you, Wilma, for a shorter time than her.

But you're not Wilma. You've never been Wilma and I believe that façade that you gave me, that you showed me, was just you before the death of Daniel. It was a reattempt of life… Of trying to pretend like we didn't fall apart, like you didn't want me dead for all those years. You wanted to get a chance to redo all of it and I don't blame you. I just wish you were honest with me in that regard. Although I do understand your hesitation, how you could have surmised how I would take the information if it was suddenly revealed… But having it, seeing it so close after Red's death, it was too much to handle.

The letter stops, a large scribble interrupting it as she wrote something down and decided against it, that being the only imperfection within the entire address.

This is a formal invitation to my wedding with Red. I would love it if you could come. I'd be more than happy to accommodate the stay here, too. But I know you'll never see this. If somehow, someway you do, please, come back and let's talk this out.

Love, in anyway you can, however you can

Snow White.

Once the note finishes, I look up at Rumple seeing him watch me intently, more than likely trying to gauge a reaction from me. "Are you going?" he inquires. "The wedding is tomorrow, and you'll never get there in time by carriage."

I don't respond, tucking the parchment carefully in the envelope, re-sealing it before taking in a deep breath. "I'm unsure," I say honestly, taking the seat at the make-up table, staring down at the item in my hand. I run my thumb over my name, re-reading it. "I don't deserve to go. Not after everything that I've done to her. She's still willing to forgive me. Even though I was never supposed to see this, it still rings true, but she might put a different mask on in front of the others… If the others even let me out alive. Red certainly wouldn't be too fond of having her murderer coming to her wedding, especially not after all these attempts I took at her wife." I trail off before turning to Rumple. "Out of all people, though, I wouldn't inform you upon my decision. A decision that I don't know about myself, either."

"Oh, but aren't we good friends, Regina? Good buddies? Pals? The like?" he jests, and my eyes go back to the heart that he's holding in his hand. I grow tense, placing the envelope on the table before beginning to walk over.

"Give me the heart."

"The heart?" He looks down at what he's holding, and he grins, tossing it up and down like a ball. "No, I don't think I will. Not without something in return. I can't give you something without getting something, now, can I? Where's the fairness in that?"

"Fairness?" I demand, standing as I feel blood begin to boil under my skin. "There isn't an ounce of fairness in your body, Rumple. What is it you want from me?"

"I want the Dark Curse," he says simply, catching me entirely by surprise.

"The Dark…? How the Hell do you know about it? It's one of my greatest kept secrets."

"Not kept secret enough. I know why you have it and I've known what you've been planning to do with it for months now, although dare I say that your plans have been altered greatly due to the recent events that have taken place." He looks down at the heart and grins. "This heart here… Completely pure, completely unmarked. Does it remind you of someone? Of how someone once was? Of someone you long to be now that you never thought you'd want to be in years to come?"

I stare at him, feeling a tinge of pain in my own chest, causing me to falter as I sit down on the bed, refusing to look at the man who stands before me, mocking me. I consider what it is he wants, and I consider what he could possibly use it for. "How long do I have to think about it?"

"For as long as you want to, dearie. I won't be killing her. She's done me no ill will and I have no strife with her. I suppose I'm just keeping it as a token more than anything else."

I search his eyes, wondering what he's conniving, trying to search for any form of deceit but I'm unsure because I know that he's unsure himself. He can be telling the truth for all he knows. His mind changes from one day to another, never the same thought running through is head on any given day in a row. "I'll let you know within the span of a week," I whisper now. "But… As of right now, I have a wedding to attend to."

"Oh! How exciting!" he exclaims gleefully, clapping his hands. "There hasn't been such an esteemed wedding in absolute ages! I do hope we'll all have fun! Well, until later!" he says before teleporting away, leaving me in the silence and my thoughts.

Finally, after what seems like hours, I look in the mirror, staring at the woman in front of me. I don't recall the last time I saw myself and I barely recognize her. I've grown accustomed to Wilma and this woman in the glass… She frightens me. Although the thing that offers me some form of comfort, even if slight, is the change in her eyes. They are no longer dark, no longer cruel, and loveless. They hold a warmth that I thought died out years ago. I've seen that same warmth in Wilma.

I turn my focus on my dress now, staring down at it. It's a light blue dress, not too showy and my hair is pulled back naturally for I've refused to put it in the updo. I didn't want the headache. Also, it seemed far too foreboding for a wedding. I look over myself once more before taking in a deep breath and teleporting away, arriving at the outside of my castle.

Two guards spot me and almost immediately rush over, their weapons drawn, and I stand there, in no mood to fight, ready for them to strike me down if they so wish to. "Stop!" A voice cries out and they turn, my heart pounding in my ears as the voice assaults my hearing.

"Snow…" Her name escapes my lips breathlessly and I stare at her. She's not yet ready for the wedding but she still looks… gorgeous, in a simple yet elegant off-white outfit that clings to her nicely. I allow my eyes to trail along her body before meeting her gaze.

"You've come," she says, walking over now and I feel tears prick the back of my eyes.

"… Yes…" I return weakly, unable to comprehend her standing there, as though everything is lying is lying to me. "I… I suppose I wouldn't miss this for the world. But I'm surprised you invited me."

"Who gave you the letter?"

"Rumple?"

"Figures," she mumbles with a shrug. "I expected as much from him. He likes to go around spewing everyone's secrets…"

"Yes… Well… He said…" I trail off, shaking my head, not knowing if she should know. "He came to me with… Rather concerning information."

"About my heat, yes, I'm well aware," she returns. "Come. Let's head inside, get you situated and out of the rain." She walks over and takes my hand, gently pulling me inside. I stop right before entering the castle, turning her so she looks at me.

"Snow, I must ask… Why are you being so kind to me? After everything I've done… You seemed so upset with me when Rumple revealed what I was. I don't understand how you could get over this so quickly."

"It wasn't quick, I'll tell you that much. But I've done a lot of thinking. Far too much of it… I was angered at what happened. I was upset that Red was killed by your men and I was astonished that you weren't who you claimed to be. After those months, we've grown so close together and to just find out that it was a lie, a large one at that, too… Well, I was understandably very upset. But that's not the point, either. I knew what Rumple's deal was. He made it very clear; he made it very simple. I obliged… I always said that my heart belongs to Red but technically…" She shrugs, laughing at the crude joke that she just made. "After much thinking, I realised that you were changing… That you did change. That façade of Wilma wasn't just an act. No one can keep up an act that well, can they? No matter how much one thinks they can, no one can fake pure love. And… Regina, I saw it. I saw it in your eyes whenever I looked at you, I saw the hurt in your eyes, too. The regret, even the anger. I couldn't just let this end… But I was also too far to apologise. There was too much going on. Too much at stake for me to just get up and come to you. But… after everything… I forgive you. And if you still want to be friends… If you still want that love, I'm here for it."

I lock gazes with her and smile widely but stop before it fully forms. "What I said before… About… Having you more than a friend. That wasn't fake, either."

"I didn't think it was," she returns gently. "But it's certainly something to think about, especially since you were technically my mother."

"I understand. Yes, it's strange," I answer. "I didn't even realise that it was possible for me to love you in that way, but I just couldn't help it… Not to say that… Seeing you without your shirt…" I trail off, shaking my head, trying to stop my thoughts before I say something that I'll regret but I know I'm already too far gone.

"Maybe if I wasn't with Red, I would have thought about it more. Rumple said that he'll protect Red on my behalf and I'm keeping him to that. I don't want her to die until we're both old and I think that now that we're not enemies… I think that it's capable of happening. Unless I somehow manage to make some enemies, but I don't think so."

"It's not going to happen. I'll protect you and besides, you're too… likeable. I just wish I could have seen that sooner. You still hold much of that childhood love and innocence, though you're nowhere near a child in any regard of that word… But thanks to me, you've grown up… Very much so and far too quickly at that… And I'm sorry. I wish I could have… Fixed the problems sooner rather than be so focused on wanting revenge so much…"

"Hey. Better late than never," Snow says with a smile before taking my hand again. "Come on. Let's head inside and get you something to eat. It looks as though you haven't eaten in a while."

"No, I haven't," I admit. "I haven't' been doing much since everything unfolded. I also haven't been feeling up to much, either. I mostly just stay around in bed constantly… I know it's not healthy but…"

Snow stops, looking at me. "You're really upset about this whole thing, aren't you?" she inquires, her voice lowering, and her eyes sadden. I never knew… and honestly would have never thought that you'd be so devastated."

"I never thought I would feel like this again," I admit, my voice lowering as we enter the castle, Snow leading me down the hallway and up the stairs, eventually into a bedroom. She leaves momentarily and comes back with a towel and some fresh clothing, handing both to me. I take the towel gratefully, wringing the water out of my hair. "After everything that's happened, I never surmised that… I would ever love again, truthfully. Daniel's passing killed me… Broke me and you know that I took it out on you when I shouldn't have… It was… my mother's fault. I was just so blinded and deluded that I couldn't see past her lies… Couldn't see the truth in you, in what you said. And I'm disgusted with myself, but I'm glad that I was never successful in any of my endeavours." I trail off now, thinking about what to say next, not knowing how to continue. "But after everything… I'm glad that I'm here now and I'm glad that we can reconnect and make amends. If that's what you're okay with."

"That's all I've ever wanted, Regina," she returns, sitting on the bed next to me before pulling me into a hug, holding onto me tightly. My heart falters in my chest and I wrap my arms around her, holding her tightly in return, burying my face into her neck as I feel the tears well up. "I love you," she mutters, breaking my final wall as I let out a sob, clenching my eyes shut.

"I love you, too," I rasp out the words that are so foreign to me, so unbelievable that I could ever utter them again. "I love you so much, Snow… More than you could ever imagine."

I feel her body begin to tremble against mine and I hear a sob escape the back of her throat, surprising me. She holds onto me tighter, the room silent except our cries. Snow is the first to pull away, taking her warmth with her. I hear the door open, and I turn, seeing Red enter.

"Snow, I was wondering if… Oh…" She stops dead in her tracks, staring at me in silence before straightening herself. "You have a lot of fucking nerve showing yourself, Regina," she says, her voice filled with venom. "What plan are you conniving now? What the Hell are you doing here?"

I don't respond, almost flinching at the hate that's so evident in her voice but I can't blame her, especially since she literally died because of me. "I invited her," Snow says, standing up now. A look of shock forms on her face before she laughs out of disbelief.

"Invited her?! Why the Hell would you do such a thing?! If you didn't realise, she fucking killed me!"

"She had no control over those men!" Snow returns, defending me. "She didn't and you know that! Red, you saw how she was as Wilma! You know that she's changed! She's become better!"

"It could still be another trick! I don't fucking believe her, Snow! After everything, you have the audacity to invite her to our wedding?! Without talking it over with me?!" she demands, her voice wavering, her eyes filling with hurt. "You can't fucking be serious!"

"Red, please. Just hear me out…" she begs, walking over and gently taking her face in her hands. The werewolf just rips her face out of her grip, glaring at her.

"First you give Rumple your heart and now you do this?! If I didn't know any better, I would think Regina has done something to you!"

"No, she didn't," Snow returns, standing straight now. "Come on. We need to talk." She takes her arm gently, pulling her out of the room and leaving me alone to ponder about what's happening, understanding why Red is upset and hoping that Snow can talk to her, manage to convince her that her speculations are wrong, even if for a little bit.

She comes back in a few minutes, and I notice that Red isn't with her. "What happened?" I inquire, hoping that I didn't jeopardise anything.

"Nothing that some time can't fix," she answers weakly, and I see the tears swimming in her gaze. "It's okay. I promise," she insists when I step forward. "It'll be okay. I just… this is a lot for her to handle, and she feels betrayed which I understand in every sense of the word. What happened isn't something to get over easily."

"Are you still getting married?" I inquire, hoping that I didn't ruin any plans.

"… Yes, we are… Maybe not tomorrow but soon."

"And I hope that you can add one more guest to that list," comes an all too familiar voice. We both turn around and my heart stops as my mother stands there, her hands behind her back, a sick grin on her face.