Tav

She liked to think of herself as a good judge of character.

It came with a package of being a bard, really. After all, any performer worth their salt is expected to know their audience and not to brag too much, but she was certainly one of the best performers in Faerun. She was known worldwide as the most talented bard in the entire realm, capable of changing one's heart with just a song and a bag of peanuts...

...well, not really. Her performances so far have been wildly unpopular, with people actively threatening her with death whenever she tried to start singing. That didn't however mean that she was a bad bard, just that the people she had met so far had no taste. After all, if she didn't have talent, she wouldn't have been hired to perform at Blushing Mermaid on two separate occasions, right?

…You know what? Don't answer that.

The point was that she was able to easily discern a person's true nature and find something of value in everyone, regardless of all the red flags that appeared along the way.

Her current group was a perfect example of this ability.

Shadowheart, a shady cleric of Shar? A total sweetheart with a kinky streak. Lae'zel, a githyanki zealot? Just a froggy tsundere with a heart of gold. Karlach, champion of the archdevil Zariel? The greatest ray of sunshine she's ever had the pleasure of meeting. Astarion, the pompous vampire spawn? He... Well, he surely has some good qualities.

Anyway, she considered herself a pretty good judge of character, all things considered. That said, her newest companion proved to be quite a challenge even for her.

Not that she complained.

"...So what exactly did you want to talk about?" Tav asked, looking at the half-elf standing in front of her with certain anticipation in her eyes. While it probably wasn't the most moral course of action, she was quite entertained by her newest companion's peculiar brand of insanity, so she made sure to always check in on him during the typical "camp conversations" she tried to have with her companions every evening.

"It's about the Absolute..." Michael Brown, the resident GOO warlock, whispered conspiratorially, looking around the camp to see if anyone was eavesdropping on them. To be honest, Tav really doubted anyone was doing so, as most of their companions had already learned not to care too much about the man's insane ramblings, but that didn't stop Michael from suspecting treachery.

"What about them?" Tav asked politely, inwardly already trying to guess what paranoid theory Michael's brain had concocted. Had he perhaps come to the conclusion that Absolute was really just two squirrels in a trench coat? Or maybe that the Absolute was just friends they made along the way? She was betting on the former. It certainly felt more like Mikey.

"I finally discovered their true nature! The Cult of the Absolute is just a hoax, created by the Shadow Council of Baldur's Gate!" Michael exclaimed loudly, seemingly shocked by this 'revelation' himself. He was gesticulating violently, as if he wanted to give credibility to his theory this way. He didn't, but it certainly improved Tav's mood after all the drama with Creche. Wait , was she a bad person for enjoying the madman's ramblings? Nah, it was perfectly normal. "These tadpoles are actually artificially created control devices that are used to manipulate our thoughts and track our movements! They created this so-called 'Absolute' to have a convenient excuse for thousands of people being infected with their parasites! In fact, everything was planned from the beginning by Enver Gortash, who plans to use the threat of the Absolute to take control of Baldur's Gate and enslave the population for his dark god!"

"Quite a nefarious plan they've hatched, haven't they?" Tav 'agreed,' making Michael sigh with relief, apparently pleased that someone believed him. She felt a little bad about that, since she probably shouldn't reinforce his crazy theories, but on the other hand she wasn't sure what else she could do.

Not that Shadowheart could cast a spell and simply cure his madness. After all, she didn't know that particular spell yet.

The person she was talking to was Michael Brown, a half-elf warlock she had recruited during her journey through the blighted village, located just west of the Emerald Grove. Her group was cautiously making their way through the village, fully expecting some sort of ambush, when they noticed that a rather large group of goblins had for some reason gathered in the middle of the village, where they were listening intently to some mysterious man's speech about the Absolute.

As they crept closer, eager to learn a little bit more about their new enemy, they realized that this madman was not trying to rally the goblins, instead trying to convince them that their leaders were just meat puppets controlled by a powerful necromancer! Even more shockingly, he succeeded, as a whole group of goblins decided to follow his advice and overthrow their leaders to 'free the goblin race'!

They were easily slaughtered by the fort's guards, of course, but that's another story.

Anyway, after seeing this spectacle, Tav approached the man, knowing that she simply had to have this beautiful madman on her team! It certainly wasn't easy to convince him, as Michael was for some reason under the impression that they were servants of the "Shadowlands' shadowlord", whoever that was, but thanks to her (mostly) natural charisma, she eventually managed to convince him to join her ragtag band of misfits.

Michael turned out to be quite an addition to the team, being a fairly talented Great Old One warlock in his own right, though he certainly had his quirks. For example, for some reason he thought he was a wizard, not a warlock? Tav wasn't sure exactly what his internal reasoning was for this particular conclusion, especially since he was constantly throwing eldritch blasts around, but she was quite eager to eventually find out. She loved a good mystery.

Oblivious to her thoughts, Michael continued rambling.

"True, their plan is very clever! But that's why we can't consume the extra tadpoles so conveniently provided to us after each battle! Sure, they can give us new abilities, but that's exactly what THEY want from us!" Michael exclaimed, giving Tav his usual "I'm not crazy, it's the world that's crazy!" vibe. Man, she really got lucky with her companions, didn't she? "The more tadpoles we consume, the more sophisticated the 'main' tadpole becomes! It's like... program? Wait, do you even know what a computer is? I think they should have some in Sigil, but... I'm getting off topic! The point is that the purpose of these consumable tadpoles is ultimately to create a powerful mindflayer that will serve the "Absolute"! We must be careful, do you understand?!"

"Don't worry, I wasn't exactly planning to gobble up these bad boys like there's no tomorrow, you know? I mean, it's not a very appealing idea to eat alien parasites previously found in someone's brain. I'm sure there are some weirdos out there who would consider it a delicious treat, but not me." Tav replied cheerfully, her words seemingly calming Michael down somewhat. She wasn't entirely sure she understood his reasoning, or if she even wanted to understand it, but she certainly agreed with his final conclusion.

Magical parasites in the brain are bad. Quite a simple but true statement.

...Wait, did that mean that Michael was somehow more rational than Astarion? Quite a disturbing thought.

So, here's the Baldur's gate 3 interlude.

I originally didn't plan on writing this, but a conversation in the SB thread gave me the idea, so here we are.

I also decided to make this chapter sort of canonical, because that means that the alternate universe is real within this story. It's not even that I plan to somehow merge HP and BG3 stories, because I don't, but I just like the idea of Michael canonically causing chaos in multiple universes at once.

That's why you don't have to worry about not knowing anything about Baldur's gate 3. I only wrote this chapter for fun, so it won't be required to understand anything in the main story.