Disclaimer:

Mrs. J.K., Thank you for your story, so that the poor chaps without inspiration, like me, can use it to type something down. For free of course.

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Dumbledore did look a bit worried, I understood when the doors of the Great Hall slammed open and a stream of wizards and witches walked in. There was even a dude with a bowler hat.

12. Another one bites the dust, and another, and another.

I followed the shouting match between the Minister and the condescending answers from Dumbledore, "What do you mean there was no danger for the students Albus!" exclaimed Fudge, "A Thousand-year-old Basilisk is not a danger? My informant says that you knew where the entrance of the Chamber of Secrets is and you even knew that Hagrid was not responsible for opening it fifty years ago! And yet you did nothing to clear his name. Explain that if you can!" demanded Fudge with an angry face.

That question triggered Hagrid to look up and pay attention, "Cornelius, fifty years ago I did not have a lot of influence," answered Dumbledore, "The best I could do was to get him a job as a gamekeeper at Hogwarts."

Madam Bones cut in and said: "You had fifty years to correct that injustice, Headmaster, there is a big difference between an Acromantula and a Basilisk, do you want to swear an oath that you did not know that Myrtle Warren was killed by a Basilisk? After all, there is a big difference between death by the Gaze of a Basilisk and death by the Venomous bite of an Acromantula spider."

She looked thoughtful and continued: "Now that I think about it, I bet you allowed Hagrid to be arrested so that Hogwarts could remain open. It was an easy sacrifice, and you quenched your conscience by getting him hired as a Gamekeeper. You warded the bathroom and entrance to scare the real culprit off, didn't you? The look on your face tells me enough."

"Now Amelia," Dumbledore protested, "You can not accuse me for every single thing that happened at Hogwarts. Fifty years ago I was a Transfiguration teacher, those events were handled by the DMLE and the previous Headmaster, I only did the best I could considering those circumstances." argued Dumbledore.

Fudge butted in: "And you did not correct them since you became the Headmaster, Albus! You knew who was responsible! My informant even claims you know the real identity of You Know Who!"

"When were you planning to tell us his real name, Mr. Dumbledore?" asked Madam Bones, "Our informant wrote to us that you knew his real name from the start. A muggle-born Tom Riddle, his mother was a squib from House Gaunt."

Dumbledore held his hand up: "That is delicate information, Amelia! That can cause severe damage to our community!"

Amelia exploded: "Keeping it a secret DID severe damage, you idiot! Who would have followed a half-blood from the Gaunt line? It is as if you wanted that war to happen. Let us talk about that death eater you are allowing to terrorize your students, we saw some disturbing memories of how that man behaves, and I will not allow this man to teach a day longer."

Dumbledore frowned: "Amelia, hiring and firing Professors are done by me and the Board of Governors. The Ministry has nothing to do with it."

Another man came closer, "But I can, Albus, As head of St. Mungoos, and Head of the British branch of the Potion Master Guild, I am revoking the membership of Severus Snape, for destroying the future of potential Potion Masters. The way Mr. Snape is teaching is horrible."

Amelia nodded to some of her aurors, and a moment later Snape was stunned and tied up. Madam Bones told Dumbledore: "I can not demand his resignation, Dumbledore, but I can demand his arrest. New facts came to light yesterday, those facts shined a new light on what really happened in the last war. Robarts, take him to the holding cells. Using legilimence on students is against the law, Mr. Dumbledore."

I started applauding when they dragged an unconscious Snape out of the Great Hall, soon followed by the rest of the students, even some Slytherins joined in. One down, several to go. Dumbledore looked a bit worried, I bet he guessed who sent those memories… yep, he is looking at me, waving… now he is sure.

I went to the front and approached Madam Bones, I enlarged my trunk, took the cage with Scabbers out, and presented the rat to her.

"Madam Bones, I am Harry Potter, I suspect that this rat is an animagus, it is always watching me, and is looking up at the girl's skirts in our common room. I got a letter telling me he is one. Can you check it for me please?" If you are famous, cash in on that fame!

Madam Bones indulged me and cast the revealing spell, Behold! One Rat animagus was exposed! It got worse when they found out it was Uncle Peter Pettigrew, and he carried Voldy's Wand.

"Harry my boy, who wrote this letter to you?" asked Dumbledore.

"I am not your boy, you old bastard," I snapped to him, "It is Heir Potter to you, and you are an enemy to House Potter, so drop the Grandfather act, you can't fool me again."

Surrounded by Aurors and the Minister, I felt brave enough to lash out. Yep, it is always better to have an army behind you than to have one facing you… Unless you are being chased by that army, then it is all bad.

"Minister, this proves that my sworn Godfather did not betray my parents," I said, "Uncle Sirius was thrown in Azkaban by Dumbledore and Crouch without a trial. A man like you can easily correct the injustice from the previous administration, if the reporters find this out they might blame you if you don't act fast. After all, this is Dumbledore's fault."

I whispered: "Sir, there are a lot of students here that heard it all, Give Uncle Sirius a trial, even if he is guilty you have followed the law. You won't regret it at your next election."

Bribe? Nah, a promise is not a bribe. You can even consider it as a treat, don't free Sirius and you will regret it. See? Not a bribe at all. Hmm, I might have a future in politics after all… FAKE NEWS! Yep, I am ready to rule! And in my case, it really is fake news.

"Amelia, get to the bottom of this," demanded Fudge, already counting his future Galleons, "Get Sirius Black out of Azkaban, and question him too, you have my full support on this."

"Thank you, Minister," I took a bow, shrunk my trunk, and went back to my table.

Ginny softly asked: "Harry? Did you just manipulate the Minister to free Sirius Black?"

I shook my head: "I wouldn't dare, Ginny, I just pointed some facts out to him, and let him come to his own conclusions. It is not my fault that those conclusions are in line with what I want. Pure coincidental, no manipulation at all that you can prove."

Luna giggled: "He did Ginny."

Ron fumed: "You stole Scabbers from me! I searched for him all weekend!"

Hermione slapped his arm: "That is what you are angry about? He was an animagus, Ron! An adult man slept in your bed for more than a year! And you are angry at Harry for taking Scabbers away? What is wrong with you?"

Luna commented: "Ron always had a lot of Nargels, those hinder him from thinking clearly."

A loud voice at the head table interrupted us, "I don't care that you had everything under control, Albus! Because it clearly wasn't! A twelve-year-old student went down to the Secret Chamber and killed a Basilisk to protect the school! That is more than you have done in a century!"

Boomed Madam Bones, "You let Voldemort rampage for years and you did nothing! At the trials of the death eaters, a lot of them bribed themselves out, and you did nothing! You let Snape terrorize students and you did nothing! Be prepared for the next Wizengamot, Dumbledore, I will demand for your resignation."

I grinned at Ginny: "Ok, I might have manipulated a bit, don't tell anyone, will you?"

Can you believe Ron is still mad at me? I better drop him, No, I'll replace him with Ginny and Luna, they are smarter and prettier, I'll consider it an upgrade. With Neville and those two snakes, this year already improved my social standing.

Crap, they leave without Dumbledore, well, Snape is gone, and it damaged Dumbledore's reputation, I can't win them all. Best of all, I got Hagrid thinking, Dumbledore got fifty years to clear his name, and didn't move a muscle. McGonagall was hissing in Dumbles ears, while Flitwick read his newspaper with a smile.

Xxxxx

In the following days, the Daily Trash nibbled at Dumbledore's reputation, one bite at a time. His inaction fifty years ago, suppressing and exploiting poor old Hagrid, his love affair with Snape, ok, that last bit was speculation, but it was the only explanation why he allowed Snape to abuse his position, you know, where there is smoke, there is fire.

A few days later, Rita clearly visited Aunty Bagshot, the love affair between Alby and Gelly made the front page.

The Dirty Secrets of Albus Dumbledore!

Dear readers, on an anonymous tip from a reader, this reporter went and investigated some of the bold statements that the reader made in his letter. Albus Dumbledore is not the man we think he is!

For starters, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, what could be wrong with this name? Yes, dear readers, two middle names to many, his real name is Albus Percival Dumbledore, to look more impressive, he added those names when he was writing papers during the time he had to stay home and take care of his sister, who became an obscuros a few years before.

That is harmless you think? Far from it! Any oath Dumbledore took using those two extra names, made those oaths invalid! Can you grasp the severity of this? A man in a leading position who is not bound by his oaths?

That is not all, dear readers!

During the time Dumbledore had to take care of his sister, he met a young man, and they fell in love, we don't judge, we are not so narrow-minded as the Muggles, but that boy was Gellert Grindelwald! Both boys were very intelligent and discussed a lot of topics on how to better the world, like their slogan For The Greater Good. So lost in their love affair, Dumbledore neglected his sister's care. Until Dumbledore's brother Abersford came home from Hogwarts and loudly reminded him of his duties, a fight broke out, spells were cast, and a stray spell hit Ariana, and killed her.

Gellert panicked and made a run from it, Albus stayed and silently put the blame on Gellert. Did Gellert cast that spell? Since that day, Dumbledore preaches that everyone deserves a second chance! Why? If Gellert did kill Ariana, would Dumbledore be so generous as to give a second chance to her killer?

My best guess is that Albus Dumbledore himself cast that deadly spell, and killed Ariana. He put the blame on Gellert, and by some misplaced guilt he is handing out second chances to even the foulest criminals because if a murderer like him can be redeemed, others deserve the same chance.

Yes, dear readers, instead of confessing his crime and being judged, he thinks he is paying for his crimes by giving second chances to his fellow criminals. Rumors say he even forgave students that raped girls at Hogwarts, and just gave them a few detentions as punishment, after that, the rapists could go and rape another girl!

When Dumbledore finally confronted Grindelwald in 45, thousands of good wizards were killed and crippled our nation. Why didn't he confront him five, ten, or fifteen years sooner? These are hard questions, and I am afraid the answers will expose a coward at best and a hidden Dark Lord at worst.

Your loyal reporter

Rita Skeeter

More about the Grindelwald War on page 7

All the oaths Dumbledore took on page 3

All about Ariana Dumbledore on page 4

Dumbledore's Greater Good exposed on page 2

Are our daughters safe at Hogwarts? More on page 5

Hogwarts, a training school for death eaters? More on page 6

While reading the paper I commented: "Rita is going for the kill this time, I doubt his job will survive this."

"It is about time they do something to stop those perverts!" said Angelina out loud "We are tired that our complaints are not answered. Yes, Cormack! I am talking about you! If you so much dare to touch us or make a rude comment again then we will cut it off."

"Five points from Gryffindor, Miss Jones for threatening a fellow student," called McGonagall out.

I stood up and said to her: "Instead of taking points from Angelina, you better ask why McLaggen deserved to be neutered, Professor, or did you like being raped when you were a student here?"

"Mr. Potter! Twenty points from Griffindor! Detention for a month!" Raged McGonagall.

I turned to Angelina and shrugged: "She must have liked it, they think it isn't rape if their victims get wet."

"Mr. Potter! Fifty points from Gryffindor! Two months of detention!"

I shrugged: "I am sorry, Professor, I won't attend a single one of those. I am sick and tired of this school, I am planning to transfer to another school on my Christmas break, Can you recommend a good one?"

"Ilvermorny is a good one I heard," said Hermione, "Beaubatons is good too, if you speak French." McGonagall was imitating a fish, gasping for air, never did she receive so much disrespect from her House.

"Well, that remains an option, I can hire tutors and get home-schooled. That Basilisk is enough to pay for them." I said, "If someone else is interested, they can come too."

That will please ROB, causing mayhem by leaving this school, the Boy Who Left Hogwarts! The Boy That Moved Out Of The Country! Nah, that last one is a bit too long. Dumbledore didn't show his face at meals, I bet he is on damage control.

"I want to come, Harry," said Luna, "as long as I don't have to marry you."

"Hey," I protested, "I am a good catch, you know! I am rich and handsome, and now that Lockhart lost his winner smile, I am in the lead for the most sparkling, brightest smile in Teen Witch Weekly!"

"I still don't want to marry you, Harry," said Luna, "I don't feel the connection between us, sorry, ask Ginny or Hermione, or Greengrass and Davis."

Tracey shouted from the Slytherin table: "Lovegood! Don't drag us into this conversation! You hear!"

"That is right, Luna, Harry has enough with Hermione and me." joked Ginny, "four girls would be too much for the poor bloke."

I stood up: "It looks like I can't win this discussion, I am going to class, damned, we have potions, well, I am going for a walk. If any of you know some good tutors, let me know."

Walking out of the hall, two snakes followed me out. Once outside they moved in closer, Daphne called: "Potter, wait a minute. Did you mean that you want to be home-schooled?"

I nodded: "Yes, you have to admit that the only classes that are useful are Charms and Transfiguration. The rest of the courses are taught by idiots or criminals. I bet I can get my Owls a year sooner than at Hogwarts too."

"Are you going to be tutored at your home?" asked Tracey, "We like to get tutored too, we are in an Alliance, so that is acceptable. Our mothers are good at Magic and can teach us some classes. What do you think?"

"Well for one, my current home is unacceptable," I said, 'I was raised by Muggles, but I am confident that Sirius Black has a home that I can use. I heard that his trial is in a few days."

"If your mothers agree to tutor us, then I am happy to add you to the group," I said smiling.

"Can I come too?" asked Neville, "My Gran can teach too."

I looked thoughtful and answered: "I am happy to have you Neville, but let me ask you, isn't your Gran a female version of Snape? You are terrified of her aren't you?"

I held my hands up and stopped him from protesting: "Think about it Neville, you are using your father's wand, it is clearly not working for you, yet you are afraid to ask for a new one. She allowed you to be bullied by your uncle Algy, or do you think getting dropped out of a two-story high window is normal?"

I sighed: "You are very welcome to join us, Neville, but your Gran has some explaining to do before she can tutor us."

"Can we come too?" I looked behind me and saw Ginny, Luna, and Hermione. I turned back and said: "Nev! You have to join me, we are outnumbered already!"

"Yes you can join us, I limit it to our year and a year lower, otherwise it is a school instead of homeschooling," I answered the three hopeful witches.

"That is great, then Astoria can come along. I think we can convince our Fathers to teach us a class or two."

Ginny added: "Mum, can teach us the household spells and cooking for the ones that don't have an Elf."

Hermione: "My parents can teach about Muggles and their customs. What is being taught here is ridiculous."

"When I put the Black Heir ring on, I could call on the Elf from House Black, I let him prepare a location for us." I said, "There is a House in London, and I think a mansion somewhere, oh, and an Island in the Caribbeans. The Potter homes are all destroyed I heard."

I clapped my hands together: "Who is up for a swim? I happen to know a pool with nice warm water."

Xxxxx

The next day, Rita gave another blow to Hogwarts:

Gilderoy Lockhart! The destroyer of Memories!

It saddens me dear readers to tear another icon from his pedestal. The man we all thought to be a brave monster hunter, proved to be a thief of Memories. I am speaking of Gilderoy Lockhart. My informant pointed out in his letter, not one but dozens of irregularities! For example, he spent a year with a yeti, within that year he claimed to banish a Banshee in Ireland, and a Werewolf in Albania, gave a few interviews and some book signings.

I investigated those irregularities myself, refusing to believe those accusations to this popular Author. It saddens me that those accusations are true. Not one of the heroic feats described in his books is done by Gilderoy Lockhart!

We discovered that he visited the Wizard or Witch that did the deed, interviewed them, and after the interview Lockhart Obliviated them, sometimes only leaving them with only barely remembering their own name.

I took it up on myself to pay a renowned mind healer who managed to reverse the obliviate spell, When Gulliver Whensworth regained his memories, he started cursing, not only did Lockhart wrong him but Dumbledore did too!

"I told Dumbledore a day before I went after that Vampire, in case something went wrong. I told Dumbledore a day after I dealt with that Vampire how and what happened. And he did not move a muscle to help me! He knew and let me rot in a ditch without a clue!"

The poor man raged for an hour! If I were in Lockhart's shoes, I would run to the other side of the planet, in Dumbledore's case… he has one less friend.

Students owled me on the teaching methods of Lockhart, our own Boy who slayed said: in one class he demanded that he wanted to reenact his victory over the Waka Waka werewolf, and asked me to play the werewolf. I tried to be as realistic as possible, mind you, I am not nearly as strong as a real one, so I attacked with all my might. To my disappointment, he went down in one hit, I continued the attack, to give him a chance to turn the battle around when he kept whimpering, I got angry, Is this man going to teach us how to defend against dark creatures? So I showed the students what happens when you go hunting dark creatures unprepared, the coward even went crying to the headmaster because I ruined his hair, and made a few scratches on his face.

A fellow student testified: "Potter showed us the real face of Professor Lockhart, if you can boast that you went face to face with a notorious werewolf, surely you can handle a twelve-year-old boy. On Professor Lockhart's urging, even after Potter asked him that it was okay to attack in full force, Potter attacked, acting as if he were a real werewolf. I can only say that Lockhart never met a real werewolf in his life. Potter went feral on Professor Lockhart, a bit too realistic, several of my female classmates admitted to having nightmares of that demonstration." explained student Zabini.

Another student owled me of her worries, "A lot of the older girls are swooning over Professor Lockhart, and miss behaved on purpose to have a detention with him. A friend of mine did the same when she returned from her detention, She didn't remember what she had to do in that detention, but she ached in her lower region. I fear the worst has happened to her. There is a reason why we girls are moving in groups of three or more in Hogwarts." This girl asked to remain anonymous to protect the victim's identity.

We notified the DMLE of course, we can not allow this man to prey on our daughters.

Your loyal reporter Rita Skeeter.

More on Obliviations on page 3

Should we fear students getting pregnant? More on page 4

Books unraveled! The truth on grooming spells More on page 8

The risk of being friends with Dumbledore! More on pages 5 and 6.

McGonagall announced with a sour face that Dada's classes were suspended until another Professor was hired.

Hah! Another one bites the dust! And in passing gives Dumbledore a black eye. I love Rita! She is a lying bitch, but she is writing my lies, I bet the Daily Profit will make actually a profit this year.

Xxxxx

Sirius is free! The best part? He nailed Crouch and Dumbledore to the wall, Crouch for dumping him in Azkaban, Dumbledore for Obliviating him of the fact that he was the one that cast the Fidelius on my parent's home. We got Crouch Junior exposed in the deal, Junior got his last snog, and Senior got Sirius' old room. Dumbledore? The man lost all his jobs.

As a result, McGonagall announced that she was temporarily appointed as headmistress and Transfiguration classes of the first three years were suspended.

With a lot of free time, we explored the castle, occasionally I provided a tour of the Chamber of Secrets. I warned them though to hold their spells in the tunnel, we don't want a cave-in, that would suck balls.

I tried to prank Binns and placed a set of mirrors in front of him, the poor man/ghost saw himself endlessly reflected in the mirrors, he did some self-reflection and decided to move on.

McGonagall announced that History classes are suspended until another Professor is hired. That actually got a standing ovation, except for Ron, it ruined his nap hour.

Xxxxx

I knew I had forgotten something! Those bloody spiders in the woods! Anonymous wrote a letter to the Ministry, the side effect?

McGonagall announced that Care of Magical Creatures is suspended until she found a new Gamekeeper, and Professor Kettleburn learned to eat with two prosthetic arms.

That last one is on him! He should have stayed away from those Acromantula. Don't worry, Hagrid got hired by a Dragon preserve.

Another headache is Oliver Wood, if he could, he would sleep on his fucking broom, I solved it by loaning my broom to Ron and told Wood to train his replacement keeper. Even the twins thanked me for that genius move, Wood and Ron spent hours discussing strategies and plays, getting us a well-deserved break.

The poor Muggle Professor got a present from a student, who preferred to stay anonymous, she got a book The Biggest Historical Events of this Century. It was quite a big book. Mrs. Burbage took a sabbatical to update her course.

McGonagall announced that the Muggle studies class was suspended until another Professor was found.

McGonagall got a nervous breakdown when Sinistra went walkabout after someone donated a few books on the new Telescopes and the detailed Star maps that were available. What sold her was the news of the Hubble Telescope, she had to check it out!

McGonagall announced that the Astronomy classes were suspended until another Professor was hired.

Professor Vector was stunned when she received books on binary language and base eight calculations, adding the calculator college students use, some high mathematics books, it was the reason she quit her day job and enrolled in Oxford.

McGonagall announced with tears in her eyes, that Arithmancy classes were suspended until a new professor was hired.

I swear I had nothing to do with Sybill! A student thought it to be funny and gave her muggle medication that made her sick when drinking alcohol, a proven method for people who want to get rid of their addiction. Add some Magic to the mix, and Sybill Trelawney needs to spend the rest of the term at St Mungoos.

McGonagall announced that the Divination class is suspended until a replacement is found.

To top it all, Babbling, the Ancient Runes Professor quit her job and made a run for it, she thought she would be the next one to get jinxed.

McGonagall sat on her chair looking exhausted, staring down at her plate, and wondered how this all happened.

She suddenly stood up and shouted at me: "Potter! It was you who started all this! A hundred points from Gryffindor!"

"Huh? What did I do?" I asked, "Are you certain that you are Professor McGonagall? Are you perhaps Snape being Polyjuiced? And Madam, I don't care one bit about those points."

McGonagall broke down in tears, her first shot at being headmistress is sabotaged by a second-year student, and there is nothing she can do about it.

Xxxxx

I hired Winky to help Kreacher clean Grimmauld Place and prepare it for a bunch of kids. The only thing left related to house elves is getting Dobby free. I have to have a talk with Lord Black.