"You gotta be kidding me," Devlin said as he stood up.
"Why won't anything just leave us alone," Corey asked.
"I blame your hot girlfriend."
"Excuse me," the couple went in unison.
"You know excessively hot people aren't left alone," Devlin shrugged. "Isn't that why she has stalkers? Wait, don't you have stalkers?"
"Oh, don't you put this on me, Dracul. How do I know these aren't YOUR stalkers?"
"I went to a Catholic All-Boys High School."
"The stalker could be gay," Corey deadpanned.
"Oh, shit." Devlin gasped dramatically. "Or worse. CATHOLIC!"
"You really don't like Catholicism, do you," Corey asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Absolutely hate them."
"You're a Baptist Christian," Corey said as he slumped over.
"But I ain't no crazy Catholic. Those guys are unhinged. Also, pretty damn evil. Just look at their history. They're as far from the Bible as you can possibly get," Devlin chuckled.
"Idiots," Nat said as she walked toward the door.
"Uh, Nat? Where are you going," Devlin asked.
"To deal with whatever caused-" A loud boom was heard as the train shook again. "Is CAUSING that."
"Uh, not a good idea. You should probably rest and let one of us deal with-" Nat just stared at Devlin. It wasn't a glare or a particularly threatening look. Still, Devlin grabbed Corey and held him in front of him. "Goodbye. Have a beautiful time."
"Dude," Corey deadpanned.
"What? Your lady scares me. Don't act like she doesn't place the Fear of God in your heart."
"Okay, yeah, she knows how to make me think the Boogeyman is a kitten in comparison, but you really gonna hide behind me?"
"Bro, really? You know as well as I do that the only way to soothe the Savage Babe is by seducing her with something she loves. So in order to keep myself alive, I just gotta do this."
Devlin then lifted Corey's shirt, showing off his abs and making him blush in embarrassed surprise.
"You may live," Nat said with an approving nod.
"See? Works every- OW!"
"WHAT THE FUCK, DEV?!"
"IT WAS A MATTER OF SURVIVAL!"
"BULLSHIT!"
The two brothers began to argue as Nat watched before she rolled her eyes with a smile. "My pet idiots," she said before entering the car.
As soon as the door closed, she felt dizzy, her vision blurring before she shook her head with a groan. She then took out an MRE and a water bottle she was carrying. She ate the food and immediately felt better. "Hopefully won't need to do that again." She then looked at her armored hands before cracking her knuckles and popping her neck. "Alright. Time to punch some tickets."
Natalie entered the last car, seeing how empty it was, already taking her stance. The car then tore apart, revealing a hideous mass of flesh and teeth roaring at Nat.
"Fuck. It should be illegal to be THAT ugly."
"WHeRe aRe THeY?!"
"Alfonso, huh? Yeah, it really is illegal to be THAT ugly. Bad enough for the death penalty. Time to be the executioner!"
As the flesh moved closer, Nat charged her fists.
CHARGE COM-
Natalie threw a punch, sending out a shock wave that blasted part of Alfonso's body off, the abominable mutation screeching in pain. Nat didn't let up. She kept charging her punches and throwing out blast waves at the monstrosity until it just went limp.
"Well, that was easy," Nat panted, tired from relying on the armor. She then walked away to disconnect the car.
She then heard flesh tearing and wet squelching before turning around. As soon as she did, something grabbed her face and slammed her onto the floor, making the train shake just as an explosion occurred, making it even worse.
Devlin and Corey were trying to retain their footing when they felt the car they were in beginning to tip over.
"SHIT! COR, MOVE MORE TO THE RIGHT!"
Corey and Devlin bodyslammed into the wall of the car, making it fall back onto the tracks.
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT," Corey yelled.
"NO IDEA! SOMETHING HAPPENED TO NAT! GO AND HEL-" An explosion interrupted Devlin, going off right in his face and sending him crashing through the other window. Fortunately, he was able to grab onto what was left of the window, actually glad there was glass to stab through his hand and anchor him onto the train. Bad news is that he was on the outside of a bullet train with explosions happening everywhere.
"DEV," Corey yelled as he ran to the window, hoping to save his brother. He saw Devlin holding on for dear life before Devlin pointed.
Corey looked to see the explosions ahead of them, meaning they were going too slow. If the train took too much damage, they'd be dead.
"MAKE US GO FASTER," Devlin yelled.
"ARE YOU CRAZY?!"
"INSANE! NOW DO IT! I'LL BE FINE," Devlin yelled as he pulled at least his torso into the inside of the train, panting heavily. "Just make sure we don't get turned into burnt pork ends!"
Corey nodded before running to the controls, quickly accelerating the train.
"D'oh! Holy fuck," Devlin strained as he felt the pressure of the train's speed.
Meanwhile, Nat opened her eye to see through the hand of a purple abomination. It was checking itself out before it realized Nat was looking at it, the creature looking down at her with a disturbing look on its face.
"Hello, Beck," the creature went.
The creature lifted Nat easily, holding her close to the ceiling due to its height. Its grip was choking Nat, but not to the point she couldn't breathe. It was just a struggle. She glared down at the abomination. "Dammit, Alfonso, I will PAY for your plastic surgery. Just stop looking so damn ugly."
Alfonso chuckled. "Being around Smith has rotted your eyes. This body is perfection incarnate. Nothing can beat me as I am." He brought Nat close to his face. "I'm giving you one more chance, Beck. With this body, I can take over not only Umbrella, not just America but the entire damn world. I know for a fact that the Tyrants would follow my every order. I'd be unstoppable. A woman as beautiful as you don't need to die here. Become my woman and become the goddess you were meant to be."
"Tempting, but according to my man and little brother, I've already got that title. Oh, and don't look down."
Alfonso looked down, getting a charged punch right between the eyes. He released Nat and stumbled back, blood trickling down his face before he looked up at Nat, who was already in her favorite stance.
"You really are an idiot. Can't even follow the simplest instructions. No wonder you keep losing to my little brother. I can't even blame him for forgetting you, forgetful fool as he is," Nat snickered.
Alfonso snarled. "I take it back. I AM going to kill you. At least Smith's previous woman was an easy lay."
Nat raised an eyebrow. "Jessica? I didn't know you met her."
"Who?"
Nat blinked before she snickered then laughed. "Wow, you are behind. I'm beginning to think you can only ever get someone's sloppy seconds. You had to convince Corey's ex-girlfriend to cheat on him and now you're trying to ride my little brother's coattails to fame. You really are nothing but a parasite."
Alfonso's eyes widened in rage. "SHUT UP," he roared as he launched his tentacles at Nat.
She easily dodged them all, punching off one of Alfonso's hands, the appendage rolling toward the mound of flesh... and being reabsorbed. Nat noticed that.
Nat then appeared in front of Alfonso and punched him in the liver. He didn't buckle as she hoped, but he was undoubtedly hurt. She followed up with a punch to the solar plexus, making the Tyrant bend down enough for Nat to land a left cross to the temple and a right cross to the chin. She figured his brain must be bouncing like a pinball by now. Still, she followed up with a clean uppercut that actually made Alfonso float for a bit. She was about to finish it with a straight that would have sent Alfonso flying into the flesh.
Instead, her punch was caught, shocking her.
"Enough," Alfonso went as he glared down at her.
"How?! I was punching your vitals!"
"Do you honestly think that's enough to stop me? Let me remind you, little hoe, I AM A GOD," he said as he made tentacles sprout from his body and wrap around Nat's arms and legs, lifting her up.
Nat looks at her predicament before rolling her eyes and looking down at Alfonso. "Seriously? The whole 'hot girl bound by tentacles' cliché? What, you planning on Rule 34ing me next? We're not in Japan! Oh god, I'm talking like Devlin."
"Dracul. Dracul. Dracul. It's always about Dracul! Even now, he's being a pain in my ass!"
"You're non-existent ass, might I add."
"SHUT UP! You're only able to fight me because of him!"
"EXCUSE YOU! I TRAINED TO BE A BOXER! THE SKILLS USED TO TURN YOU INTO A LIVING PUNCHING BAG WERE FROM YEARS OF TRAINING!"
"But your toys weren't."
Nat then noticed Alfonso's tentacles moving, looking to see them wrap around her armor. "Hey. Hey! HEY! HANDS OFF THE MERCH!"
"Without this," he began as the metal began to groan from being bent. "You're just a regular human."
Nat began to groan as she felt Alfonso wrap his tentacles around her entire set. Her boots, her gauntlets, her exoskeleton, and even her goggles. "STOP IT!"
"Say goodbye to Dracul's little gift."
Natalie gave out a quick cry of pain after Alfonso ripped her entire set off of her, destroying it in the process. She then fell to the ground, coughing violently as she sat up, looking at her destroyed, sparking armor.
Alfonso chuckled. "It's quite satisfying, destroying that idiot's work." He then looked at Nat, who was sitting on the ground in a sexy position, staring at the destroyed armor. Alfonso smirked lustfully. "That Rule 34 suggestion looks pretty damn enticing right now, hoe."
"So... light."
"Huh?"
Nat stood up, looking at her freed hands and feet. "I feel... so much... lighter?" She then moved her neck, popping the joints before moving her shoulders. Each of her movements was making loud cracks. "Hot damn, that feels good. I've never felt so relieved in my life. Hell, this is even better than a night with Corey." She then began to jump in place. "I feel like I'm bouncing on a trampoline," she laughed.
Alfonso snarled. "DON'T YOU IGNORE ME, YOU WHITE BITCH!"
"Hm?" Nat looked back at Alfonso just as he sent his tentacles at her. Her eyes widened. "So slow."
In Nat's eyes, the tentacles were moving at a snail's pace. She actually walked up to a tentacle, staring at it before literally ducking beneath it, as if she were trying to get through a short door. With her hands behind her back, she walked toward Alfonso, looking at his tentacles before reaching the Tyrant-sized mutant, and looking up at him.
Alfronso's eyes widened when he no longer saw Nat. "WHAT?! Where did she go?!"
Nat whistled to get Alfonso's attention, the mutant looking down in shock. "Hi there."
"HOW IN THE-?!"
Nat then positioned an open hand where Alfonso's liver should be, her fingertips just about to touch his body. "I've always wanted to try this ever since I saw it. Can't do it with boxing gloves, though."
Nat then performed the legendary One-Inch Punch.
Alfonso actually coughed up blood before he was sent skidding back, dangerously close to the flesh, but stopping just in time to fall to one knee. "W-WHAT THE FUCK?!"
Nat blinked before looking at her fist, her knuckles literally smoking. She then gave a smile that would have made Corey weak in the knees before she took her stance. "This is gonna be fun."
Nat was easily avoiding all of Alfonso's attacks with a smirk on her face. She then landed countless punches on a single area until it turned black from bruising. She then punched the side of Alfonso's knee, making him stumble down low enough for Nat to land a devastating uppercut.
Alfonso roared as he tried to use his tentacles to grab Nat, but she easily dodged them all with her hands behind her back as she got closer and closer to Alfonso with a smirk on her face. "Is that the best you can do," she asked as she was right below Alfonso, shocking the mutation.
"Say, you're heart is really close to me," Nat raised as she raised her fist, twisting it. "Have a taste of my CORKSCREW," she yelled as she threw the twisting punch, striking Alfonso's exposed heart.
He coughed up blood as he stumbled back, dangerously close to the flesh, which was reaching out to him.
He didn't notice. He was in too much pain and stress to notice. Nat's punches were heavy-weight. No, World Champion Heavy Weight, in the Men's Division. Alfonso didn't know how he knew, but he could tell from Nat's punches that she could challenge the current male World Heavyweight Champion and win with hardly any difficulty.
He was about to see how right he was when he saw Nat below him, a proud smirk on her face as she jumped up, her fist rushing behind her. Alfonso could practically hear the jet engine that was Nat's fist before it smashed into his jaw, completely shattering it before sending the appendage flying, his tongue flopping in the air.
Now, he was getting furious, as he glared down at Nat with glowing red eyes. He desperately tried to slash her as a last-ditch effort. He just needed one hit. Just one to turn the tables in his favor.
Unfortunately for him, Nat still had her super speed and ability to pretty much see in slow motion.
When the claws got close enough, Nat moved her head and performed something she always wanted to do but struggled with, the Perfect Counter.
The claws missed her head completely as her fist rushed past the monster's arm, stealing some of Alfonso's own power. Then, Nat's fist smashed into Alfonso's chest, the monster vomiting blood, hearing much of his bones, ribs, and vertebrae break before being sent skidding back and slamming into something warm and soft.
He looked to see his old body trying to reabsorb him. "NO! THIS BODY WAS PERFECT! GET OFF! GET OFF!"
"One. Two. Three. Four."
Alfonso looked at Nat as she was walking backward.
"Five. Six. Seven. Eight."
"BECK! BECK! GET ME OUT OF THIS, YOU WHORE!"
"Nine," she continued as she ripped off the cover of the coupling.
"BEEEECK," he roared as the eye started to develop over his body.
"Ten. Knocked out in the first round. That's just sad, Fon."
"MARK MY WORDS, BECK! DRACUL WILL SCREW YOU OVER! HE'LL FIND A WAY! HE'LL FIND A WAY TO FUCK YOU OVER! JUST LIKE SMITH! YOU'RE FOLLOWING WORTHLESS MEN!"
"Don't talk about my brother or my boyfriend like that, asshole. Enjoy your trip to Hell." She then punched the coupling, destroying it, the main car detaching from the one Alfonso was on.
"BEEEECK," he roared before the eye formed over him. When it did, its slit pupil constricted before it was engulfed in the explosive flames, destroying Alfonso once and for all.
"Hmph. Still the Champ," Nat said before running to the control station. She then opened the door.
"HEY, NAT!"
She looked toward Devlin's voice, her jaw-dropping. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE, YOU JACKASS?!"
"OH, YOU KNOW! HANGING ON FOR DEAR LIFE WHILE COREY MAKES SURE THE TRAIN DOESN'T FLY OFF THE TRACK!" An explosion occurred, the flame seemingly engulfing Devlin.
When Nat put her arm down when the heat was gone, she looked at the smoke-covered spot in worry. "DEV!"
The smoke cleared, and Devlin was just fine but coughing up smoke. "That sucked."
Nat grabbed him by the collar. "GET IN HERE ALREADY, YOU IDIOT!"
"WHOA," Devlin went as Nat yanked him into the control room just as an explosion tore off the window Devlin was hanging from. "YUP! WE'RE GONNA DIE!"
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME," Nat yelled.
"I'M NOT LETTING THAT HAPPEN," Corey yelled.
"YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO, BRO," Devlin yelled with an excited smile.
"WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS PLANNING," Nat yelled.
"DEV, YOU'D BETTER HOLD ONTO MY GIRL LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!"
"TECHNICALLY, IT WOULD, SINCE I DON'T WANNA PISS YOU OFF!"
"RIGHT ANSWER!"
"WHAT ARE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT?! WHOA! DEVLIN?! TOO HANDSY, LITTLE BRO," she yelled as Devlin hugged her waist before taking out his knife and stabbing it into the floor.
"NOW, COR!"
"HOLD ON TO YOUR ASSES!"
Nat's eyes then widened in realization. "COREY SMITH, I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU'RE DOING WHAT I THINK YOU'RE DOING, NO NIGHT TIME FUN FOR A- AAAAAAAAAAAH," Nat screamed as Corey had the train go at maximum speed.
"WHOOOOO-HOO-HOO-HOOOOO," Devlin cheered.
"OOOOH, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK," Corey went.
Then, the largest explosion yet shot the train car out of the tunnel, the locomotive crashing and rolling across the ground before ungracefully landing on its wheels that quickly shattered off as the car slid across the trainyard with a screeching, sparking halt.
"Oh, dear god. . . That was awesome," Devlin laughed.
"Like... hell... it was," Corey panted.
"You... two... are... dead," Nat groaned out. "Also, Dev, get off of my breasts."
The door to the train car was knocked off, and Devlin jumped out, looking rejuvenated. "Whoo! That was fun."
"Oh, sure," Corey said sarcastically as he trudged out, followed by a shadow-eyed Nat. "That was a REAL blast. It should be in a damned amusement park."
"You'd be surprised how many people would pay for that kind of experience. Maybe we would make a pretty penny with it. Shall we draw up some schematics?"
"I was joking, Dev," Corey said as he slumped farther down. "Hm?"
"Hello?"
Nat grabbed both of their heads.
"You idiots better not even joke about this," Nat said with her eyes still shadowed.
"OW," the two said in unison as Natalie konked their heads together. She then began to use their heads to noogie each other before dropping them to the ground.
"Oooh. That sucked," Devlin said.
"What the hell, Nat," Corey asked.
"Shut up! You're lucky that's ALL I'm doing to you morons. Surviving Alfonso was easier and actually LESS scary than the stunt you jackasses pulled!"
Devlin groaned as he sat up, rubbing his head. "Hm? Ah! Hey! What happened to your armor?!"
"Huh? Oh. Alfonso ripped it off."
"And you still won," Devlin yelled.
"Yeah. Believe it or not, taking on that pompous asshole was actually easier without the armor. It was like taking off training weights for the first time after years of wearing them. It was insane, let me tell ya. I felt lighter, faster, stronger, and Alfonso might as well have been moving in slow motion. It's like I was freakin' Superwoman or something. All I'm missing is the laser eyes and the ice breath and super blowing."
Devlin was about to say something until Corey covered his mouth.
"But as awesome as these new powers are, it might as well be a 'take me' sign painted on my back with neon paint."
"Can't deny that," Devlin said after taking Corey's hand off his mouth.
"Yeah. You pretty much described a supersoldier," Corey said. "With power like that, even a team of soldiers like that would be enough to take over all of Europe."
"Or Africa," Devlin stated.
"Man, why you gotta bring up Africa," Corey deadpanned.
"You underestimate the Warlords... and ze lions," Devlin said dramatically, Corey smacking the back of his head.
"We'll deal with those assholes when we need to," Nat said. "Right now, there's something more important."
Corey raised his eyebrow before he knew what his girlfriend meant. "The twins."
"Dev?"
He took out his cell phone. "Red Queen, mind telling us the quickest route to Racoon City?"
THERE IS NONE. RACOON CITY WAS DESTROYED.
"WHAT," the four went.
Nat then realized. "The virus. It got out and infected the city."
"Shit," Corey went.
"Alright. Guess we're gonna need to find the girls elsewhere," Devlin said as he stood up.
Nat thought about it before nodding in agreement. "Yeah. Those girls are stubborn. No way would a little virus and nuke take them out."
"Then what are we waiting for? Halloween," Corey asked as he stood up. "Let's find the twins so we can rip Umbrella a new one," Corey said as he walked toward the rising sun.
"Don't gotta convince me, babe," Nat said as she ran up to walk alongside Cor, Dev walking behind them. "And if so much as a hard of missing from the twins, I'm punching the entire company into dust."
Corey sighed. "Nat, I'm already in love with you. Do you have to say stuff that makes you sexier?"
"In order to keep you? Hell yeah, I do. Just like I need to get a leash to keep Devlin in check."
"HEY!"
"You know I'm/she's right," the couple said in perfect unison.
A/N: AND THAT'S THE END OF Resident Evil Project R! But lo, I have a special in store for all you loyal readers. What could it be?