Xander pulled open one of the showers revealing not the interior of the shower, but the entryway to his Sweet Home.
"Still feels unreal," Coke said, following him in with a fully loaded backpack and his arms filled with a crate of booze and an obscene amount of boxes of condoms.
"I know what you mean," Xander assured him, leading him into the hall. "Ignore the first door on the right, it's Barbie's room."
"Who's Barbie? Besides being, you know, Barbie," Sully said.
"She's the maid," Xander replied.
"You have a live-in maid?" Margo asked. "The company must pay well."
"Ever seen Terminator?" Xander asked, as they reached the end of the hall and entered the gym.
"Wow," Sarah said, "somebody went all out."
"The one with the cyborgs from the future?" Sully asked. "Yeah, great movie," he answered.
"That's what my maid is, except someone thought it would be funny to make a Barbie version," Xander explained.
"You have a Terminator Barbie as a maid?" Margo asked in disbelief.
"Does it look like a Barbie or does it look like OJ Simpson in Barbie clothes?" Ludi asked.
"That is a horrifying though funny mental image," Buffy said as everyone set down their supplies.
"Life sized Barbie doll, came with the house," Xander replied.
"Oh good," Sully said. "Be a bit creepy otherwise."
"I think you mean creepier," Margo offered.
"Why are there no windows?" Nat asked.
"We're in between dimensions," Xander told him as the teens looked around, "there is nothing outside of this house here."
"Now that's what I call a safe house," Coke said with a broad smile.
"It's really over?" Ludi asked. "We're really safe?"
"Completely," Xander said. "The protections on the house were designed to withstand creator gods and entity attacks with no bleed through."
"Damn, that's impressive," Buffy said. "I may end up moving in with you."
"Only if your mom agrees," Xander said.
"This has been the best and worst vacation of my life," Sully said.
"I can see worse," Buffy said, surprised, "but best?"
Sully took Ludi's hand and looked at the rest of his friends. "Yeah, easily worth it."
"Sounds like a story," Xander said, "but we're on the clock so it'll have to wait. Don't steal my bed, it's the master bedroom upstairs, otherwise have fun, we'll see you when we step back in for a rest or a shower."
"Back to the grind," Buffy said with a grin, her clothes vanishing only to be quickly replaced by a football outfit. "We heading to the next town?"
"Gold mine to the north," Xander said, switching out his clothes for a football outfit, "probably a half hour jog."
"Can we steal a car?" Buffy asked hopefully.
"Did you pass Driver's Ed?" Xander asked.
"It's on my to-do list and no cop, no crime," Buffy said. "It'll be good practice for when I get around to taking the class."
"Fine, but pick something we can crash in," he said.
"Why would we need to sleep in it?" Buffy asked.
"No, I mean literally crash. We're probably going to run over a lot of zombies," Xander pointed out.
"We'll grab a truck with those big wheels," Buffy said.
"Yeah, that works," he agreed as they left.
"Good people, if a little crazy," Coke said as he stripped off his clothes. "Hot tub?" he asked Margo while snagging a box of condoms and a bottle of Jack.
"You read my mind," she agreed as she discarded her clothes.
"Pool?" Sarah asked Nat. "Been a while since we had a chance to swim."
Nat nodded with a relaxed smile. "I think I'd like that."
Ludi turned to Sully. "Couch and a movie?"
Sully nodded. "Be nice to watch a movie without worrying about anything sneaking up on us. Still hard to believe we're actually safe."
"Between our parents trying to dispose of us for frankly stupid reasons and a zombie apocalypse... this makes more sense," Ludi admitted. "They're just here to make money without hurting anyone."
"Yeah," he said, perking up. "Let's see if they got Terminator. I'm in the mood for it for some reason."
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"This place really does have it all," Buffy said as Xander filled a couple of lockers with individually packaged, collector's edition, gold coins.
"It looks like they designed it for bulk sales, but they've got a lot of big ticket items you'd only buy one of," Xander replied as Buffy vanished a quartet of quad runners and moved over to look at the jet skis.
"It's a good way to draw in customers," she pointed out before placing half a dozen jet skis on their trailers in the tunnel the home team used to enter the field right behind the quad runners.
"There's more gold and jewelry here than there was in the jewelry shop," Xander said, silver coins filling half a dozen lockers before switching to engagement rings and wedding bands.
"Yeah, but it's all machine made. Pretty, but... soulless," Buffy said. "It doesn't have that personal touch."
"Thankfully the gold contract remains the same either way," Xander said with a wide grin as he hit the necklaces and had to start on another row of lockers to store them all.
"How much gold do you need to fulfill the contract anyway?" Buffy asked curiously, examining some mini-bikes before dismissing them as too small to bother with, as fun as they might be.
"The contract specifies time not amount," Xander said, locating a small section of platinum jewelry and setting them in their own locker.
"What if you ended up on an island in the middle of nowhere and didn't collect any?" she asked.
"Then I'd have to ask Amelia to move the door to a more populated area," Xander replied. "There aren't any penalties for coming back empty handed, but it'd be hard to justify."
"Is the gold really what they want or is it an excuse?" Buffy asked with a frown. "If it was the purpose of this trip then they would have put in collection goals."
"They gave us a much bigger inventory than was required," he said thoughtfully. "I'm going to guess their main goal was information about this world and getting a solid lock on it. Requesting gold was just to get us to move around and see what's here, rather than forting up like some jumpers do."
"So while we're here wandering around outside and not in your house we are sending up a signal for them to lock onto and when the contract is over they'll take scans of everything we've collected while retrieving the gold," Buffy guessed.
"That sounds very likely," Xander agreed.
"Why not just ask us to collect books and go camping if that's what they really wanted?" Buffy asked.
"Because your average agent isn't all that bright," Xander said with a shrug. "Most people think of gold as the most valuable thing they can collect and worth risking their lives over, while convincing them that 'yes, you do want a complete run of a popular book series' or the state census data might be a little more difficult."
"So since the agent would be running around looking for gold anyway, why not just tell them that's what you really want?" Buffy suggested.
"I think you're right," Xander said with a nod. "That makes a lot more sense than collecting something they can probably just create by the ton using Star Trek replicators."
"So... what do we do with this information?" Buffy asked.
"If what they really want is information and us to hang around outside, I'll ask Amelia to contact them and change the terms of the contract," Xander decided. "They can send us some scanning device that we can use on information centers, rather than relying on what little info we might accidentally collect and… we can spend most of our time outside, camping out in vehicles and abandoned hotels," he said, shooting her a grin as he knew that was something she'd been looking forward to.
Buffy's eyes lit up. "Thank you!" she squealed and flew over to hug him, peppering his face with kisses. "I so love you!"
*DING*
Buffy groaned. "Dammit, I didn't make it one full day! They are so going to tease me for this!"
"That's what was holding you back?" Xander asked with a grin.
"I wanted to hold off for the entire week until we finished the contract before joining you," Buffy admitted. "Them teasing me is just a side note."
"Did you girls talk about this?" he asked curiously.
"Knowing looks and giggles," Buffy waved it off. "It was pretty obvious. Just because I don't think I deserve to be happy doesn't mean I'm stupid enough not to try for it when it's obvious they don't mind and won't be hurt."
"Oh, so it was your last desperate attempt to avoid happiness," Xander said.
Buffy opened her mouth, paused, and then frowned. "Yeah, kinda looks that way even to me."
"Buffy, I love you, you've been my hero since I found out what the world was really like, and you deserve to be happy. If I have to I will tell you that every single day we're together, no matter how many centuries that turns out to be."
Buffy sniffled, her eyes tearing up.
"I'll do whatever it takes even if I have to spank you with a ping pong paddle while calling you a naughty girl, dressed in a catholic school girl's outfit bent over a desk," Xander swore.
"Hold up!" Buffy said. "Back that up a bit."
"Wrong fantasy?" he guessed.
"No, what I want to do is all the cute and sappy stuff with the cuddling and the kissing," she said with a soft smile. "And then of course there is the naughty and slutty stuff that only isn't naughty and slutty when done with someone you're in a committed relationship to," she admitted.
"So..." he asked, confused.
"Write the spanking thing down somewhere and we'll definitely get around to it," she said, "for now soft and sappy... and maybe some lube later to try it out."
"Got it," Xander promised.
"Of course, this does mean we can ignore the perk limit, right?" Buffy asked hopefully.
Xander nodded. "That was to try and let you last the week."
"Good, because I want all the perks," Buffy said with a grin, "and as much cuddling and hand holding as you can handle!"
Xander grinned. "Now that sounds right up my alley."
"Good, I'm going to go get one copy of all their books, you do movies," Buffy said.
"Good plan," Xander said. "Know where any of that is?"
"Not a clue," she replied cheerfully, "but it's a store. We'll find it eventually."
"And in the meantime it's free shopping and we could probably stuff this whole place in inventory and not even take a tenth of the space we have available," Xander said, "and I don't have to carry any bags."
"I wonder if they have a shoe section," Buffy said, eyes lighting up.
"If I find one I'll send a flare up," Xander promised.
"Probably not the best idea," Buffy joked. "That being said if you find a flare section let me know, cause I can't wait to see the looks on vampire's faces when I pull them out in the middle of a fight."
"I'll just drop them in Inventory and you can switch them to Wardrobe," Xander told her.
"That will work, but I'm serious about the shoes!"
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"If she can move things with her mind and stretch, how do you know you can't?" Cordelia asked Willow.
"That's actually a good question," Willow admitted. She stuck her arm out and managed to stretch it an entire foot away. "That's as far as it goes," she said, before letting it pull back.
"I got major stretching, minor telekinesis and you got major telekinesis, minor stretching," Dawn said thoughtfully. "I wonder if Xander and Buffy got average both, since they got more telekinesis than I did but not as much as you."
"That's a good point," Willow said, "I'm going to guess they did if the vials all had various levels of the two abilities."
"Xander gave you powers by having you drink a vial, and he had me drink a vial," Cordelia said. She stuck out an arm but it didn't stretch. "Guess I didn't get the same vial."
"Ours were black shimmering purple looking and smelled like death," Dawn offered.
"Golden vial here," Cordelia said, "tasted like children's laughter and the last days of summer with just a hint of peppermint schnapps."
"Point at a couch cushion and will something to happen," Willow suggested.
Cordelia glared, finger pointing at a cushion looking like she was in court and about to accuse it of murder. Her finger lit up with golden light and a large pair of glowing wings popped out of her back, knocking her face first to the floor.
Willow burst out laughing as Cordelia tried to get up and kept failing thanks to the wings knocking against everything. Dawn managed to save the food, her hand enlarging and snatching the pizza off the coffee table before Cordelia overturned it.
"Damn it Xander," Cordelia yelled, "what did you do to me?!"
"Calm down," Dawn ordered, Willow being no help as she was laughing too hard, "they're only flapping around cause you're panicking!"
Cordelia closed her eyes and stopped moving, her wings slowly retracting onto her back, their golden glow lighting up the room. "I've got wings," she complained, "something I only want in my panty liners."
"Try making your hands stop glowing," Dawn suggested.
Cordelia looked down at her hands with a frown and both the glow and her wings vanished.
"Funniest thing I've seen all week," Willow said with a grin.
"Bitch," Cordelia said, smiling back at her. "So, I got glowy hands and nightlight wings... I have no idea what that has to do with the talent show except it would probably have gotten me first place if I passed it off as part of a magic act."
"What did you do for the talent show," Dawn asked, setting the food back on the table as Willow straightened everything back up with her telekinesis.
"I sang," Cordelia replied cheerfully. "I'm not a professional singer, but I've been taking lessons for years."
"She's awful," Willow said bluntly. "Screeching cats is how Xander describes it."
"Hey!" Cordelia complained. "My singing isn't that bad, not everyone can be Celine Dion you know."
Willow gestured and the stereo came on, the radio playing the beginning notes to Semi-Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind. "Have at it."
Cordelia rolled her eyes but she took a deep breath and began to sing along with the radio, losing herself in the song. When the song was over she turned and found both girls staring at her in open mouthed shock. "What?" she asked.
"That was professional," Dawn said. "Hell, that was amazing!"
"Thanks," Cordelia said, her smile lighting up the room as her wings came out. "Oops!" She quickly put them away, finding it much easier a second time.
"Cordelia, your singing was absolutely horrid before, but that was fantastic," Willow told her. "I don't think the actual singer did half as good a job."
"What?" Cordelia asked, confused.
"The vial Xander gave you... I'm going to guess it gave you the voice of an angel," Willow said.
"That would explain the wings," Dawn realized.
"So... a powerful version of Xander, who can do god knows what, decided that while we were fighting vampires and possessed little monsters, the problem that he needed to solve right then was my singing?" Cordelia asked in disbelief.
"It's Xander," Willow reminded her.
Cordelia sighed. "Of course the dork would do something like that."
"He gave you a baton to deal with the monsters," Dawn reminded her.
"Yeah, so your voice was only the second greatest disaster that night," Willow said 'comfortingly'.
"Yeah, hey!" Cordelia yelled.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"That looks really bizarre," Buffy said as a quartet of zombies in really bad suits and one in a chicken outfit stumbled towards them.
"Probably had one of those strange TV promotions going on," Xander offered as they entered the new car dealership.
"No, I get the chicken suit," Buffy said. "It's just... plaid suits?"
"Yeah, you've got me on that," Xander admitted. He gestured and sent the chicken suited zombie flying into the sky.
Buffy grinned. "It was because he was dressed as a chicken wasn't it?"
"That and I don't want to get any zombie blood on me, I've just had a shower," he readily admitted.
Buffy gestured and the four badly dressed zombies were crushed to the ground. "It's been a lot easier to do that since I got those last two perks."
"Maybe the Black Panther power-up has something to do with it, I doubt it was Wardrobe," Xander said. "We'll have to check before Dawn gets them."
"I still find it strange that you love my butt pain," Buffy said, making Xander laugh. "I mean, my little sister, not anal."
"Dawn is downright adorable and will be very beautiful when she grows up, judging by the women in her family," Xander told her, "but at least part of it is the fact that I find it very hard not to love someone who loves me that much."
"Yeah, she doesn't bother just wearing her heart on her sleeve when it comes to you, she designed an entire outfit to go with it," Buffy admitted.
"Which vehicle looks good to you?" Xander asked, looking around the lot at all the brand new vehicles.
"The little red sports cars that just scream midlife crisis or rich girl's toy," Buffy said with a large grin.
"Pick two and we'll drop them in the end zone and grab an SUV for you to practice in," Xander said.
"Really?!"
"Sure, we've got room," he replied. "We'll just have to make sure to grab the keys and vehicle registration from the office."
It ended up taking longer to find the keys than it did for Buffy to choose the cars she wanted, killing a couple of zombies that were locked in the showroom by snapping their necks so they wouldn't get any gunk on them.
"Nice," Xander said as they climbed in a massive black SUV.
"This shouldn't have any problems with stray zombies if I happen to brush against them," Buffy said as the pair buckled up. "Glad it's an automatic, I don't know how to work a clutch."
Xander nodded, turning on the AC to full while she started it up.
"Listen to that baby purr," Buffy said with a grin, revving the engine.
"Why do I have the feeling that I've just made a terrible mistake?" Xander asked, before Buffy floored the pedal and left a cloud of burned rubber behind them.
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
Beta By: Abyssal Angel and Mist of Shadows
TN: "Good, because I want all the perks," Buffy said with a grin, "and as much cuddling and hand holding as you can handle!"
The typist then paused and needed a moment to force himself to not glare at Xander in pure avarice.
TN2: "No, I get the chicken suit," Buffy said, "It's just... plaid suits?"
Abyssal Angel paused and recoiled for a moment in horrified disgust. "Ew, what?!"
"Yeah, you've got me on that," Xander admitted.
"Kill it! Kill it with fire!" the typist screamed at the two.