A/N: So, I've realized that due to Bucky leaving, the whole issue of Bucky killing Tony's parents isn't addressed or stated. Considering that I don't think I could handle that well enough, let's just say Tony's parents died in a normal car crash. I don't want to risk writing it poorly, plus with everything I have planned, I think it's best not to add this whole arc in.

MATT

April 2016

It's been months. Several months. As a kid, after the accident took away my sight, I used to hear fireworks from ten city blocks away going off for the New Year. I grew up with that sound, I loved hearing it, my father and I would cheer. Growing up in the orphanage, I listened to it everytime. Even when I started working with Foggy, I listened to it. All during my life in New York, in Hell's Kitchen. The new year had to have come by now. But this time, there was nothing. No fireworks. No sounds. And it's a good thing. Aside from Barry's speed, sound was the only thing that attracted runners. In these several months, it feels like everything. We've lost so much and we've lost everything. Were we losing ourselves? Did we already? I swore to myself I would never kill. I would never take a life. I've held that promise and I still will. But all around me, I see people who are forced to do the opposite, who've had to break and mend such rules. If any kind of that old morality was left, it was in me. Being around them felt natural at one point but now…now it feels like I'm surrounded by strangers. It's a feeling I don't like. They may have lost themselves but me…I can't. I shouldn't. This code…this morality, it's who I am, it's what I have left…if I lose that…then what it is I am beyond the devil within.

Barry, Wanda, Matt, Logan, Steve, Natasha, and Sam continued to walk down the empty road as the sun scorched in the middle of the afternoon. Wanda carried Lily in her arms, Steve had his shield hanging on his back, Sam, Natasha, and Matt carried a variety of weapons. Sam had a machine gun hanging from a strap around his neck, his wingsuit wrapped around his body. Natasha had two loaded pistols sitting in her gun holsters, Matt had his two fighting, metal sticks hanging by the sides. Barry had a sheathed sword with a strap around him as the sword hung on his back, an ax that hung from a sort of grip on the waistline of his black jeans. An additional pocket knife that rested on the other side. Five months of the wilderness, fighting and avoiding runners, surviving, hunting, and searching had changed the group. Matt and Steve had started growing beards, everyone had sounded exhausted almost all the time, Barry's hair had grown long enough to reach his neck, becoming thin and silky in the process, while his facial hair thickened in addition. Matt could hear the strands of Barry's hair brush against Barry's skin, he could hear Steve occasionally scratch his beard. Months and months passed as the group's change evolved.

But killing…killing was the biggest change. Everyone around Matt had already fallen to killing, to using it as a means for an end. How long was it until Matt finally did? No. He told himself. He couldn't. He made a vow, a promise not to kill and it was something he had managed to hold for so long. Regardless of the circumstances, he couldn't let himself fall to killing, he knew there had to be a way to keep fighting without it. There was always one, both before and now. The group continued walking as they kept themselves in a horizontal-like line while doing so. Matt, Natasha, and Sam were on Barry's right, Wanda (with Lily), Steve, and Logan were on his left. Matt could smell the sweat drip on everyone around him as the sun ruthlessly scorched in heat, something about the heat had Matt convinced that no clouds were in the sky. Then, without saying a single word, Matt moved his right hand to Natasha's left as their fingers intertwined. In a mere second, without looking, Natasha took his hand as she held it with a firm grip. Matt let her as they continued their walk. Aside from the sounds of their footsteps and their gear shifting, a powerful silence seemed to dominate the group. It wasn't until Matt overheard a conversation between Barry and Wanda that there was finally some voice.

"How is she?" Barry asked. Clearly, it had been about Lily.

"Just tired…" Wanda responded. "Maybe hungry."

"We all are," Barry said. "There has to be some sort of a place somewhere. Somewhere close. We'll stop there."

"We've been looking for months, kid," Logan said grimly. "Things haven't exactly been going our way."

"We're still here," Barry replied. "We're still alive, still together. I'd say things are going our way enough…don't worry, we'll find some place."

Several hours passed as the heat died down before the evening set in. Matt could hear the winds within the clouds as thunder began booming within them, indicating an incoming storm. The clouds must've been dark, Matt assumed, a powerful sort of storm had to have been coming. The entirety of the group suddenly halted as Matt sensed some sort of thing in front of him. Logan kneeled as he took a small plastic bottle before Matt realized what layed in front of him: two entire packs of plastic-bottled water. Matt heard the sounds of Barry taking a piece of paper that had been taped to the top of the water pack. What came next was the entirety of the group hearing Barry read out the note.

Drink up. Consider it a gift from a friend.

X

"X?" Sam asked in confusion. "What the hell is 'X' supposed to be?"

Barry got down on one knee near the two water packs. "I don't know. That's just who it's signed by."

"X isn't exactly a name," Logan scoffed.

"It's not just that," Natasha said. "Whoever left this here, they know that we've been out here for days. They know us, they might know who we are."

"We're being watched." Wanda realized as Lily cooed in her arms.

"What're the chances these are spiked?" Steve asked.

"You think it's a trap?" Matt asked.

"Maybe it is," Barry said. "Maybe it isn't. Either way, this wouldn't be the first time that someone who tries to make themself trustworthy was full of crap. Not to me…not to us."

"What if it isn't?" Sam asked as Matt heard Barry's head tilt, indicating that he looked at him.

"We can't trust whoever these people are," Barry argued in a low voice as he rose to his feet. "They know us, they've clearly been watching us. Hell, they could be watching us right now."

"Maybe not everyone we come across is an enemy, Barry." Sam tried to say.

"Strange people with some sort of altruistic drive for us," Barry said. "They show up out of nowhere, leave this and a message behind. These people, this 'X' person…it may look like we can trust it but the second we let our guard down, it'll cost us. By the time we realize it, it'll be too late. Trust me, I know. I've been through this exact same thing. Twice. Eobard Thawne, Hunter Zolomon. Those are the names of two people who've done that to me and it was the exact same thing with them. They show up out of nowhere, magically know everything about us, claim they want to help and before you know it, everything you suspect is right and more."

"You can't guarantee that!" Sam exclaimed.

Barry let out a sigh, the kind that indicated he was finished with the argument, assuming that he was generous enough to leave room for any. Before anyone could say anything, thunder roared in the sky as rain drops suddenly splattered on the ground. The rain accelerated and in a matter of seconds, it was pouring rain. Matt could sighs of relief, smiles, and even some chuckling as everyone let themselves get bathed in the rain, their hair curling and turning wet under the water. He slowly ran his hand down his face as he felt the rain pour and pour on him. Finally, the heat had gone and the heavy rain's cool temperature set in as a sort of comfort. An excitement. However, the excitement was short-lived as thunder boomed loudly in the sky. High winds were not too far away. Whatever storm was coming, it was a dangerously powerful one. One that would last long. Shelter was immediately needed.

"We need to find cover," Barry said grimly as Lily's cries echoed through the pouring rain. "Now."

"There's some sort of barn," Logan replied. "Over there. Few yards into the woods."

Matt blinked and suddenly, the rain stopped pouring on him but now, it was pouring on a roof. He almost forgot what it was like for Barry to instantly relocate him and other people to different places at super speed. They knew Barry's speed attracted runners, as a result, he only ever used it for small distances. Matt instantly helped Steve close and barricade the door with wood through the doors as they remained closed. The winds caused the doors to be pushed but they remained intact, the storm continued strongly as Barry took a crying Lily from Wanda, trying his best to comfort his five-month-old daughter.

"Any chance your speed would've attracted runners just now?" Natasha asked.

"The storm would throw 'em off," Barry responded. "Problem is…the storm might either attract countless of them or repel them all away."

"Only one of those options works for us." Steve said warningly.

"That same option is the one that lets us make it through the night," Barry added. "Guess we'll find out."

Nighttime set in after a mere couple hours as complete darkness surrounded the barn, the only thing preventing it from coming inside was the fire that Barry, Lily, Wanda, Matt, Natasha, Steve, Logan, and Sam had circled around. Though the daylight had gone, the storm hadn't as it persevered, thunder roaring, lightning so bright and powerful it could be seen through the small cracks between the wood boards. Lily was sound asleep as Barry carried his infant daughter in his arms, standing up. From right to left, he saw Matt, Natasha, Steve, Sam, Logan, and Wanda circle around the fire as they were wrapped around in a silence. The only sounds that any of them heard were the occasional roaring of thunder, the force of rain droplets on the barn, and the crackling of the fire. It was a strange kind of silence, one that seemed to get worse and more uncomfortable with each passing second. And yet, for hours, no one seemed to break it.

"We're so fucked, man," Sam finally said as his words caught the attention of everyone around him, he didn't bother looking up from the fire. "Not long ago, we had some amount of normal, some amount of peace in our lives. Now…now, all it takes is the blink of a goddamn eye before everything around us goes to fucking hell. There's barely any world left, assuming there is any."

"It's worse on us," Matt added, his voice in a low whisper but despite the storm, everyone heard him, he could make sure of it. "Back then, we couldn't have managed surviving like this. Now, we can…but at what cost? Of ourselves?"

Sam and Matt's words ended there, making it seem as if everything would return the silence that had been for multiple hours. Matt kept his head down, thinking the rest of his teammates would ponder upon what he had said. Several seconds of silence made him think so…yet, it was Barry's voice that not only ended the silence but interrupted any pondering Matt or the rest of his team were doing.

"Back on my earth, when I was still a kid, my father told me this story about his uncle," Barry began as everyone turned to him. "Thing is…my father was born two years after World War II. His father (my grandpa) and his uncle had joined in from the moment the U.S. became involved. My grandfather was a pilot. In my world, he was the pilot of the plane that dropped the bomb on Hiroshima. My father's uncle…he was a trooper, he was on the field, on the ground. They both saw…a lifetime of war. Pain. Death. Suffering.

"My grandfather, he'd managed it as best as he could. Around my dad and his wife, he was this kind and caring person. One time when he was ten, my father asked my grandfather about the war…he just changed, became this mask of a person. No emotion, no words, he couldn't even hear him breath, just a still and silent glare. My father said it was like he was a completely different person. Thing is…the war changed him, hardened him, warping him into something different. For two days after, he was still that same silent, still, emotionless…thing. Then, out of nowhere, he just went back to his normal.

"When he was fifteen, my dad was at some huge family reunion. His uncle even showed up and there was a moment where they saw each other. The way my father described it…it was this unreal tension between them. Neither of them said a word to each other. They just walked away. My father snuck around town and found his uncle and my grandfather at a closed bar. They'd broken in without damaging anything, they were having a few drinks and he just overheard what they were saying. My father's uncle asked: 'Do you still remember the faces?' and my grandfather responded with: 'Which ones? The ones of the people we failed? Or the ones we killed? The ones we slaughtered?' My father's uncle said…'All of them.'

"My grandfather didn't say anything then, my father's uncle didn't bother either. They just sat there in silence. It was the first time they'd spoken in years and as far as my father knew, it was the last."

Barry's story had Matt and the rest of the team in silence, a silence stronger than before.

"My father heard several stories from his mother and other old family relatives of his," Barry continued. "They always said that before the war, my grandfather was this charismatic, wonderful, outgoing person. That his uncle was the same way. My dad told me that when he spied on them in the bar, when he saw how the war had changed them…all those stories felt unrecognizable. That they were talking about different people…strangers.

"For years, I never really understood that story. Even when I first became the Flash, I still never got it. But now…after all this time, I finally get it. See, the thing is, going into war, all that fighting, all that killing, adapting to that…hell of a life. It was all the easy part. Protecting the world, fighting to keep it alive, adapting, it was all the easy parts of it. Coming back…when you've already changed, when you've adapted, when you have all that on your conscience, in your past. That's the hard part."

Matt didn't even need his other senses to tell that everyone else was starting to agree with him, maybe he was too.

"It's the same with us," Barry said, the conclusion of his speech nearing. "All this…how we survive, all this fighting, finding the new world, building it, it's the easy part. Finding it in ourselves to come back…is the harder part. For now, we survive…no matter the cost. Even if it is ourselves."

"It can't be," Matt argued as he stood up, his face aimed down at Barry's direction as he heard Barry tilt his head, indicating he faced him. "We can't lose ourselves."

"And we won't…" Barry finished. "Not permanently…but we will now…"

Nothing was said after that.

Sleeping through the night had been easier for the others than it had been for Matt. His senses kept him on high alert, the storm persevered through the night as everyone laid down throughout the barn. Matt and Natasha laid together as he felt Natasha's head on his shoulder, her arms wrapped around his body. She lay asleep, breathing slowly and calmly while Matt simply laid awake. Throughout the night, something inside him could've sworn that he heard unfamiliar heartbeats and even whispers within the storm. He couldn't have gone outside to check it, the storm was too powerful and dangerous. The whole night, he lay awake, he could even hear Barry's eyes blinking, convincing him that the speedster had stayed awake too. Morning had come both sooner and longer than Matt had expected, the sky was dimly lit, there was a slight fog but the main storm seemed to have disappeared.

"Storm seems to have cleared out." Wanda noted as Lily woke up in her arms.

"Maybe…" Barry said as he and the rest of the team were spread throughout the inside of the barn.

Suddenly, Matt heard the sound of the barn door opening and closing as he and the rest of the team instantly jumped before turning to face the direction of the sound. Matt's hearing detected the man's heartbeat: human…at least, he was at the moment. He could only tell a few certain details about him, he was almost as tall as Barry, his heartbeat was distinct, nothing much. Matt could hear Barry step forward as everyone stood by him.

"Who are you?" Barry demanded. "What do you want?"

"Umm, hi…" the man said sheepishly as Matt heard him adjust his glasses. "My name's Hank…Dr. Hank McCoy. I'm assuming you all got the water?"

"You're X?" Steve asked.

"Me…and the others," Hank said, confusion rising among the group.

"Others?" Logan asked. "You and a group of yours been watching us?"

"We have," Hank said slowly, some part of him clearly knew that Barry and the team weren't going to take it well. "We have an offer for you-"

Hank was abruptly cut off as Barry's fist connected with his jaw, knocking him down. Barry hadn't even bothered using super speed, he simply walked up to the man and swung his already clenched fist. Hank hadn't even bothered to stop until Barry had already punched him.

"Everyone stay sharp," Barry ordered. "We're being watched."

A/N: I've also realized that I haven't addressed how the runner virus began or what happened to the mind stone once it was stolen from Vision's body. Don't worry, I'll be covering these later in the series. This story in particular is coming to an end rather soon.