Chapter One| Arriving in Forks
Each second, I am away from Phoenix a little piece of me wants to wither up and die.
I wish I were different and I could have put my foot down.
I'm seventeen, and I'm certain that I know how to take care of myself while Renee and Phil are traveling the country for his baseball season.
Alas I have to be the good son, the good boy, and so here I am arriving in the Port Angeles Airport with my hands stuffed into the pockets of my jeans.
My blue eyes barely take in everything around me, I am accustomed to the scenery around me.
I don't pay too much to anything, instead my eyes search through the mass of people to where Charlie will be waiting for me. He's near the stand that has all the travel brochures for both Port Angeles/Seattle along with the rest of the state. He's in his law enforcement uniform, his hat covering his balding haired head, and his brown eyes crinkling upwards in relief.
Unlike Phil, who doesn't know how to deal with having a gay stepson, things are different with Charlie. Charlie is possessive of me, he wants his house to feel like a safe place for me.
He's dealt with hate crimes on many different things.
Religion, Race, along with Sexuality.
He's had to arrive at the scene first and find those who are gay and all different sexualities dead from committing suicide due to their depression. It's his worst nightmare that he'll end up having the same thing happen to me because I've never felt safe enough to be myself around him.
I've barely reached him when he brings out one of his hands and messes up my hair. I shoot him an annoyed look and roll my eyes as he chuckles. "It's good to see you, Beau. I'm glad that you decided to come and stay with me the rest of the school year."
I shrug awkwardly, not knowing how to respond to that comment, and trail next to him as we leave the airport. My duffle bag that I had put in the overhead compartment of the cabin has its strap hanging on my left shoulder. There are different buttons pinned to the duffle bag.
A LOVE IS LOVE button is pinned on the right side of the duffle bag. A couple band pins are on different parts of the duffle bag, all from different genres and not just one specifically. A couple Lord of the Rings buttons finish off the group of pins. They are all a different variety of colors, all the colors of the rainbow ironically and show off my own personal interests.
"I've invited the Blacks over this weekend. You remember Billy Black and his son, Jacob, right?" Charlie probes as we go through the automatic doors of the airport and head towards the part of the parking lot where the police cruiser is.
"Yeah, I remember him. He's my godfather and Jacob's my godbrother," I remark, as little snippets of a Native Indian American man with long black hair and a cowboy hat always keeping the sun from hitting his eyes appear. There are also the snippets of Jacob, who is two years younger than me, and always held onto the back of my shirt because he was always surrounded by his older sisters (Rachel and Rebecca are a year older than me and twins).
We don't talk really about anything else on the rest of the way it takes from the airport all the way to the outskirts of Forks. It isn't until we are at the green town sign that both welcomes and says goodbye to you that Charlie clears his throats and taps his fingers against the steering wheel. He's still wearing his wedding ring from his marriage with Renee even though he's been divorced her since basically my whole life.
"I got you a Homecoming Present."
I almost want to tell him to return the present he had gotten me, but I don't because he doesn't deserve to be snipped at. Besides, he's the one parent of mine that accepted me as I am without any conditions. I give him an awkward smile instead, one that isn't quite attractive but then again, I can't say I'm the most attractive boy in the world. My eyes are beautiful, I've had enough girls sigh dreamily and a few of the braver boys' comment on them.
"What did you get me?"
"A truck. A Chevy, cherry red. It's pretty new."
I can't help but ask him how new the truck is. Charlie is a frugal person, and almost everything that is in his life happens to be secondhand. Everything inside his house is exactly the same. The same furniture that was in the house when he was married to Renee. Even then the furniture in the house had been passed down by his parents, who called him their miracle child since they thought they wouldn't be able to have children but ended up having him in their fifties.
"Well…Billy bought the truck in 1984. It was new in the late 50's, early 60's. Do you remember it? He would use it for fishing when he wasn't in the wheelchair yet because of his diabetes," Charlie informs me, earning a nod from me. He notes it in the corner of his brown eye, so he doesn't have to turn and look at me.
We don't say anything else for the rest of the ride, which isn't that long.
The street that Charlie's house is on is both familiar and not at the same time.
It's been a few years since I had seen the house, but it's still there.
Old and faithful.
White panels, creaky wooden front porch with the wooden swing that has outdoor pillows mismatched resting on it. The front door is painted a cheerful yellow, just like the cabinets in the kitchen that Renee had done so she could bring some light into the dreary wood paneled kitchen. I smile some at the large front oak tree that sits near the west window that looks out to the front yard, the window in which is connected to my bedroom. I could climb up the tree and go into my room, but the last time I had done that I ended up falling off the tree branch and breaking my arm (Renee was so upset that she had come and picked me up early from Phoenix to take me home).
My eyes land on the Chevy cherry red truck that parked near the tree.
It's a faded red though, rust is corroding throughout the vehicle, a signal of it not being cared for that much since it hasn't been used since.
I hop out of the police cruiser and get closer to it, noting how the truck smells just like the Native Indian American cigars Billy has always smoked, handing them to Charlie to try though he doesn't smoke as much as he used to. A beaded seat cover is over the driver's front driver's seat. I'm going to have to take that out before I go to school tomorrow.
I almost jump out of my skin when Charlie comes up behind me.
I hate how I scare easily, it's something that I've always done since I was little. It also doesn't help that Jacob was always very quiet when he would be around me, so I would turn around and see him. I'd end up squealing like a little girl and not talk to him for a few hours.
"Here's the keys."
I hold out the palm of my hand and he drops the silver keys into it. The keys are cold and shimmer a little from a little burst of sunlight that flickers through the clouds. I pocket them into my jeans, before I head towards the front door. Charlie has my duffle bag hung around his shoulder, and he trails behind me. His work shoes thunder behind me, allowing me to know he's behind me.
Charlie unlocks the front door and I enter, my eyes having to adjust to the slightly darker living/front room. The fireplace is lit, so there is the slight smell of a bonfire. The flames flicker against the burnt wood, cracking as pieces become designated. Liniments travel throughout the living room.
It reminds me of when I would go camping with Charlie and the Blacks, when Mrs. Black was still alive before she had died in a car wreck. Her name was Sarah, she was like a second mother to me. My heart still hurts when I think of the sweet Native Indian American woman, she was the perfect mother and didn't deserve to die so young. The good news is it was instant.
The couch and matching recliner are thin plaid patterned, navy blue and forest green.
A side table is at the end of the couch that is next to the wall.
An antique green glass lamp shade rests above a golden lamp stand.
Photographs and paintings of Forks and Washington State are on the walls, from all different seasons and most of them are of the forest or of Lake Crescent.
Most of the paintings are colorful but the photographs are in black and white.
The photographs are actually done by some great uncle of mine when he was in college. He's not the one who I'm named after, but then again, most people have common and normal names. He was lucky without being the one who was forced to have the name Beaufort.
The walls are made of old wallpaper, some of it is curling backwards and other parts have already been torn off. It's more than a reminder that Charlie doesn't have the motivation to fix the wallpaper or even replace the wood planks on the flooring that have come loose. The popcorn ceiling needs to be scraped off so that it will be smooth.
I don't look at the room that long before I head up the stairs to the second floor. I barely pay attention to the photographs that are hanging on the wall.
There's the wedding picture of Charlie and Renee that is still hanging up there, despite the fact that they only lasted two years in marriage before Renee ran off cowardly with me in her arms. I don't even look at it too long, they were only eighteen when they had gotten married. A little too young for my taste, they barely even knew each other when they got married.
There's a hanging mirror at the end of the hallway, which is thin and long.
It's a little claustrophobic and I'm not someone who is good with tight and thin places where I can barely move. I hurriedly move forward before I reach my open bedroom door, and walk through, some of the planks of course creek from me entering but that's to be expected.
My bedroom is not too small nor not too big, it's a good normal size for a bedroom.
The walls are light blue, so light they are almost white. The peaked ceiling has wood paneling, most likely it's from the trees in the forest, for if I look close enough there's moss that is in some of the cracks of the trees. Barely there but still there nonetheless, which in return is kind of amusing to me. There are yellow lace curtains that frame the only window of my bedroom. A secondhand computer sits on a simple wooden desk with a modem (phone line) is stapled on the wooden floorboard to the closest phone jack. The rocking chair from my baby days is in the corner of the bedroom, angled towards the bed.
Said bed is an old wooden bed frame that was actually Charlie's when he was my age. There's both a headboard and footboard, and they are simple rectangle shaped. The same wood as the ceiling, but without the moss growing in them. The bedspread is white, along with the pillow covers. A fuzzy navy-blue blanket is folded across the bottom of the bed, one of my favorite blankets that I would cover myself with whenever I would be here. I'm almost tempted to take it and wrap it around me, but I leave it be, knowing it will be there when I go to sleep.
The walls have posters of my favorite books and movies taped on them, the tape is starting to peel and is obviously dirty. There's a window seat under the sole window, with a cushion that is the same color as my draping blanket. The actual frame of the window above it has all different cacti that are on there in pots. Each pot is a different color of the rainbow, another little subtle easter egg towards my sexuality. I had bought them at a nursery during Pride Month down in Phoenix.
"I'll let you get settled in; I'm going to be ordering pizza from The Lodge for dinner. Their House Special sounds good?" Charlie probes me and I nod my head, letting him know that I'm fine with having the House Special when it comes to the pizza. I've never been someone who is picky with food and have always had an adventurous taste in food.
In fact there was an authentic Mexican restaurant, a hole in the wall, in Phoenix that I would go to. Renee would come with me sometimes, but she'd mainly go there so she could try all their different authentic Mexican cocktails. I'd always bring my bike with me so I would be able to ride back to the house without having to worry about being pulled over while Renee would be tested to see if her alcohol level is too high.
Sighing, I go over to where the bed is and sit down, before unzipping my duffle bag.
I began to pull out all the different clothes I had brought from back in Phoenix.
Clothes that are second hand, clothes that I had gotten from the Salvation Army Thrift Store. Most of my clothes come from the thrift store, Renee never did make much money when I was growing up and what money she did earn she would use it on things that we didn't need but she saw and thought we needed (more like things she saw that she wanted instead of needed).
Once I have all the clothes pulled out and sat onto my bed, I go over to where my closet is and open it. It's long and skinny, it's less space than I had back in Phoenix, but it's more than enough room for me to put my clothes in. There are wire hangers that are already hung up, and I begin to pull them off of the closet before putting my clothes up. It's quite a depressing sight, I must admit, because I wish I could have some of the trendier clothes that most kids would have back in Phoenix.
Since there's not that many clothes that I brought with me it doesn't take long for me to put away my clothes. My shoes are next, some of my winter boots and hiking boots that Charlie had bought me over the years are still in the closet, waiting to be used. I both feel guilty about it but not at the same time, because I know I could have used the hiking boots some when I would go to the parks in Phoenix along with Arizona.
I go over to where the secondhand computer is, clunky and needing to desperately be replaced, and turn it on. I know it will take a while for the screen to pop up for me to login in, so I start exploring little things in the bedroom.
My dresser, which comes with the bed as part of a bed set, has random things from my childhood in the four drawers. A couple of things are still in there, such as the coins from when I went to Chuck-E-Cheese when I was younger and never used them. Some ticket stubs from a Fair I had gone to with Charlie and Renee, after begging for the both of them to spend time with me at the Fair together. A packet of fake tattoo patches still not opened, with random designs for boys on there.
There's even the old retainer I had gotten right after I had my braces done in middle school and I forgot them here, I was in sixth grade. I had gone to Renee and told her a few days after I had gotten back to Phoenix that I had left my retainer here.
She had to book an emergency appointment for me when it came to getting me a new one. She had tried to not show how mad she was, but it was obvious she was more than peeved at the fact she had to spend money out of her own pocket because we were in between insurances at the time. I had to save up money because I felt so guilty and gave it to her only for her to claim that I was making her look like she was the bad guy in the situation.
I go downstairs about an hour before we get pizza and curl up on the comfortable couch that has so many divots in it from where people have sat. Charlie is lounging in the recliner, with the bottom of it popped out so he can have his legs stretched out. He has one of his beer cans sitting on the coaster on the side table next to us. He only drinks from one beer company so I've been accustomed to seeing him with his one beer can of the night since I was a little boy.
"Hey, Dad. What should I expect to await me in the horrors of high school tomorrow?"
Charlie chuckles as he glances away from the news channel, his brown eyes landing on my blue ones. He has a nostalgic look on his face for a moment, as if he's remembering his own high school days. He brings himself back to reality and answers me.
"Not much has changed since I graduated. Principal Greene is still running the school. One of my football teammates is the trig teacher, Mr. Varner. Mr. Banner is the cousin of one of the guys that graduated a year before me, the guy that graduated a year before me ended up in Harvard. I think that Mr. Banner went to some prestigious college too. There's the same cafeteria ladies from when I went to the school."
I almost want to ask him if the teenagers wouldn't care about my sexuality, but I know it doesn't matter.
It won't change things for me, because I'll still be gay at the end of the day.
I won't apologize for something that I have no control over. I've already cried many tears when I was in middle school, but high school came, and I slowly became attuned with my emotions and my sexuality. I even had a boyfriend for about two weeks before we realized the only thing, we had in common was the fact that we both are into guys, then we left on awkward but not terrible terms.
"You won't be the only…one who prefers boys over girls," Charlie slowly tells me, clearing his throat in a stiff manner. His face becomes flushed red, and he looks towards the wall instead of looking at me before he continues, "our doctor in town, Dr. Carlisle Cullen, has five adopted teenagers. One of the seniors, Royal Hale, is together with his adopted junior brother, Edward Cullen. Then there's Alice Cullen, apparently, she's what's called…Asexual? The other two are together, Emmett Cullen and Royal's twin sister, Jessamine."
Relief floods throughout me at the knowledge I won't be the only gay student that is open. I'm also glad that the Cullens and the Hale Twins are all comfortable with their sexualities. I'm also thankful that Charlie had decided to inform me of this new development.
"Thanks for telling me, Dad. I'm going upstairs to take a shower really quick. Why don't you go ahead and call in our order? I can go and pick–"
"Oh, don't worry about that. They do delivery. Go and take your shower."
Nodding my head, I go up the stairs to the second floor of the house, before entering my bedroom and grabbing a pair of pajamas I had bought last year. An Evanescence t-shirt, with black cotton sweatpants and some fuzzy black socks. I collect them and go into the small bathroom, the only bathroom, in the house across from my bedroom.
The bathroom is embarrassing, it's so tiny that I don't think it would be possible for two people to be in the bathroom at the same time. There is just enough room for a sink, toilet, and an alcove, where Charlie's products for washing his hair and his body are on their little built-in shelf within the alcove. On the wall of the alcove that is made of white subway tiles. The shower door to the alcove is frosted so you only get an odd outline of the person on the other side of the alcove. Finally, there is a rectangle frosted window that is above the alcove, which happens to be dark to show that it is nightfall.
I sit my pajamas down on the lid of the toliet and pull out one of the towels from the folded towel pile underneath the sink. Going across the bathroom I turned on the faucet of the tub, and waited for it to be warm enough for me to not feel freezing cold water but not too hot that my hand would be scorched. I climb into the alcove after I strip myself from my current clothes and change the water to the shower faucet head instead.
As much as I want to take a long and relaxing shower, I'm more interested in eating the House Special Pizza from The Lodge. It's been years since I've had it, and it was one of my favorite things to eat when I was here. I'll be able to eat it again, and thankfully I have a very fast metabolism, so I won't be getting fat anytime soon. Maybe that will change when I am older, but for now I embrace the fact I can eat as much as I want without getting big.
Hurrying downstairs when I hear the front doorbell ring, I get to the door before Charlie does. I grab the money for the pizza from him and he doesn't complain.
He instead heads over to the kitchen and goes in, most likely so he can bring out the paper plates and paper towels.
I open the front door, my eyes landing on a girl with pale blonde hair that is pulled up in a high ponytail. Her features are sour, despite them being quite pretty.
Her eyes are a cruel deep green, and she's got an athletic figure to her.
She's dressed in a uniform from work, the cursive THE LODGE stitching across the red quarter sleeved shirt, and the matching red shoes. Her jeans are designer though, they fit her muscular legs quite nicely. The popping of a bubblegum bubble makes me bring myself away from studying her. She looks at me with annoyance, like she doesn't see why I should be studying her like this.
"You're not Chief Swan."
Her voice isn't soft, not at all.
Her voice is more on the thicker side, though one can still tell she's a girl when she talks.
She has a pizza box in one of her hands and I feel irritation leak through me too.
The last thing I want to deal with is a pizza girl with an attitude, when I'm hungry and just want some damn pizza for dinner.
"Just take the money and give me the pizza."
The girl rolls her eyes this time and hands me the pizza before she takes the money from me. She goes down the front porch and I shut the door behind me. I don't even care about watching her go back to her car, especially when she obviously makes sure her hips sway when she walks. The last thing she needs to think is that I'm even remotely attracted to her.
"Ah, I see that Lauren Mallory is the one who was on the delivery shift tonight. Don't worry, it's not you that she's upset with. That's just the way she is. Her mom is the same way she is," Charlie comments behind me. I wonder if Charlie has had to deal with Mrs. Mallory in the past.
"Girls are too complicated. Another reason why I like guys, we're just direct about things," I joke, as I sit the pizza box down onto the counter. Opening the pizza box, I pull out two slices and sit them onto my plate before I take them over to the square kitchen table with mismatched three chairs.
Plopping down in the chair I've always sat in since I can remember, I force myself to relax and focus on the remaining time I have with Charlie before I'm forced to start my first day at Forks High.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: TWILIGHT DOESN'T BELONG TO ME
IT'SEMMYNOTEMMA
