Chapter 47: The one where you choose

That evening you couldn't rest, the argument with your brother laying heavily on your mind. Pacing up and down you find your mind always circling back again. No, there was no point debating around it, he couldn't go. He hadn't been to Hyrule in person so far, hadn't felt it's strange logic and learned its magic first hand. He didn't learn to speak Hylian, he didn't have the bond with the Links you had formed. He didn't know how to operate the notebook.

He did however have a broken arm.

Luck wouldn't survive out there, the Links be damned. He would only be a burden to them.

Your hands grip the railing of the balcony you're standing on tighter, glaring out into the clouded nightsky. The nights in Hyrule are clear, the stars so bright without the pollution of the city.

Then steps come up behind you.

You don't look back, glaring out into the night.

"Can't sleep?" Time.

You huff but don't turn. "You should go to bed."

"As should you" Almost fatherly. You roll your eyes.

"I can't."

"Because of the fight you had with Luck?"

"…yeah. You heard?"

A flicker of amusement. "I don't think anyone in this house didn't."

"Fantastic" you utter. The word is dripping with sarcasm.

He sighs: "Any way to cheer you up?"

"…tell me a way to stop Luck from his harebrained plan to come with you guys."

"Why's that?"

"I thought you heard the argument."

"What if I want to have your full opinion without having your arguments interrupted?"

You pause.

Then you glance up at him, meeting his eye. He looks serious. Probably this argument reminds him of too many children here that had been turned into soldiers by fate.

"I don't want him to go" you start. "He's hurt. A broken arm."

"We got fairies and potions" Time points out quietly when you fall silent. "Broken bones mean nothing."

"He doesn't know Hylian" you give back just as quiet.

"But neither do you much, Babble" the embarrassing nickname clearly is meant to cheer you up. Maybe tease you a bit to lighten the mood.

But for once it doesn't cause your cheeks to warm, for once it's just a word associated with some days full of adventure and adrenaline. It's something you can identify with.

And it's something that shocks you to the core, determination starting to fill you.

"Luck has a real life here. Many friends, a wonderful fiancé. He has finished his studies and is ready to start his shining career as a lawyer. He knows what he wants in life, always has. He can't just throw all that what he's reached so far away now" you take a shuddering breath.

"And…he's always protected me. Always been there for me. It's getting tiring to watch him drop everything to aid my problems. It's my best friend who's still out there needing help, not his."

You swallow, watching a few stars begin to peak through.

"I however…I got exactly two friends, no more. Two best friends and one of them is in deep trouble. And I…I was dragged into it too. But I – unlike all these other people still missing – made it home. I got lucky and met you all. God knows in what situation the others are stuck. I only survived because I met you."

You take a deep breath, slowly calming: "I'm still trying to find my perfect path for life. I know the barest direction and am studying for it, but nothing too concrete. But I'm still learning. It's nothing firm or finished. Currently all I got are a bunch of absences and missing exams. Which in today's society, today's pressure means next to nothing."

You fall quiet as your rant is finished. Time places a comforting hand onto your shoulder.

"So…what do you want to do about all this?"

"I…I don't know" you shake your head. "What can I do?"

"Try what feels right. What's bugging you the most."

"I…I suppose it's that I don't want my brother to go with you. He'd be in danger again because of something concerning me and I don't want that. But at the same time I don't want you to lose the advantage, the minimal help of the notebook…I can try to teach one of you what I figured out…but…what if you can't use it? What if it needs our language written within to be used? Yes, Legend learned how to read it somewhat, and Four likely studied and knows it now but what if it triggers him again? …I…but I just can't understand…"

You cut off, shaking your head. Time doesn't need your mindless ramblings.

And yet his comforting hand remains steadying on your shoulder.

"Go on" he invites, eye open, honest and encouraging.

Dammit. You already have fallen into the same dad trap the Links had, didn't you?

"…why me…?" you finally bring out. There it is. The thing that's been bothering you.

"Why out of all the people in the bus was it me who got the notebook? I'm not qualified for this. I have no clue what I'm doing most of the time. Why not Gannon? He's a lot tougher than me. Or the the old man – Heyne. He'd at least know what he was dealing with. I thought I was dreaming the first few hours. So why me?"

Silence.

Then at last: "I don't know. The Goddesses work in mysterious and often not fair ways. I suppose the best thing you can do is listen to your heart and head and try to find your own calling."

His gaze holds you in place but it isn't bad, more steadying, meant to help you find your footing.

"What do they tell you?"

You close your eyes and breathe.

You know the answer.

"I want to know why. I want to find out but I refuse to risk my brother for this."

"I'm not saying this lightly, if you chose to come along it'll be dangerous. We won't be there to protect you always, no matter how hard we try" he warns.

"I…I know. But…you all could teach me. So when that time comes I can stand on my own. So I don't have to depend on anyone's protection ever again" you reply, heart racing in your chest. Are you really considering this? This is madness.

Where is Zelda when you need her as your common sense?

Another set of steps. Speak of the devil and she shall appear.

"Consider this decision carefully. It could change your life forever or even end it" Time warns before leaving to give you and your best friend some alone time.

"…how much did you listen in?" you ask her quietly.

"…probably too much. You have every right to be mad by the way. I..I keep messing up. I'm sorry" she looks down. "And…I know you definitely shouldn't put me on the list of reasons why you should stay. I lied when I messed up and it created an even bigger mess. I…I have no words how sorry I am."

You swallow and look at her. Her eyes are puffy and red…did she cry?

"This is scary…" she whispers. "Aren't you terrified of what might happen if you do go?"

"I'm terrified…but to get the answers I need there's no other way."

A small, sad chuckle. "That…that makes you fit in right with them, you know?"

You glance at her confused: "How so?"

"…courage isn't absence of fear. It's recognizing your fear and deciding to overcome it. That alone makes you braver than I could ever dream of being."

Your eyes widen at that. She merely offers a weak smile.

"You already managed so much…you made it back here. And now you consider going back in there just to help get Gannon and all those others back home. That's courage. I…I think that's the answer why out of everyone in that bus you were picked to end up right with the heroes so many would kill to meet only once. Because you have the potential to be just as brave as they are."

Her little speech leaves you breathless, the words bouncing around your head. You…brave?

"I…I don't know if I'll return if I go…I'm scared that I won't. My parents…they'd still have Luck…but you, who'd you have?"

"You are my best friend…" Zelda places a hand over her heart, her green eyes drilling into yours. "And if you go, deep inside, I feel that this won't be a farewell forever but only a see you later. We'll meet again."

You wordlessly tug her into your arms for a tight hug, determination rising. "…I'll get Gannon and all the others back here…I know it. The Links are fantastic. They already did so much. And I…I can help and learn to maybe aid them. I'm good at learning. I don't know why I got this notebook but…but if what you suspect is true then if I do this, I'll get my answers."

Zelda hugs you back tightly, a wet smile entering her face. "I know you will…"