Welcome one, welcome all.
Thank you all for the love and the sweet reviews. A quick reply to one of them :)
Kyoki no Megami:
I'm glad to see that you like it even with the element of cheating in it. I really didn't want to leave the character of Esme out of the story. I hope you'll stick around till the end of the story despite me putting them through this.
Enjoy the new chapter!
Chapter 13 - Tethered
It was there. Right beneath the surface. It was right within his grasp. All he had to do was reach out, clasp his fingers around it and never let go. But every time he got close enough it moved away from him. As is someone was playing a mean trick on him. Taunting him to the brink of insanity. That was how Carlisle Cullen felt this very moment.
He tasted her on the tip of his tongue, beneath his touch and against his body. But something was missing and he couldn't put his finger on it. No matter how hard he tried, forced himself to dive deep within, he couldn't grab hold of that memory which told him who she was. It frustrated him, practically ate him up from the inside. Why couldn't he remember her as she seemed to remember him? Exactly what game was being played here?
But one thing was clear. He might not know her. Her name, her original age or her favourite food and colour. But he knew what she was to him. How she made him feel.
"I loved you." He whispered against her lips.
Ada shuddered and pulled back slightly. Carlisle opened his eyes and gazed deeply into hers. He said it with a hundred percent conviction. No matter how she would respond, he knew what he felt was true. He saw it written on her face. This woman. Someone from a forgotten past. They'd loved each other intensely.
"You did." She replied.
It wasn't a lie, it was probably the most honest answer she'd given him and relief washed over him. He'd solved one piece of the puzzle, but only a small bit. There was more to discover. Carlisle had to continue asking questions.
"Over three-hundred years ago." He stated with certainty. "When I was mortal."
There was no reply, but the way Ada blinked and opened her mouth without voicing a single word only to close it again, told him enough. That was most likely the reason why he hadn't been able to remember anything about her. She'd been in his life before he became what he was today. Before he lost his soul to immortality. Knowing this explained everything and it filled him with some sort of happiness he couldn't put into words.
"Ada," He breathed and he wrapped his arms around her. "This is incredible. You're from my past. From my human life."
He went quiet for a second and pulled back. "But all these centuries,- I've never come across you until now. How is that possible?"
"If I had known you were alive, I would have done all I could to find you." Ada spoke softly and she pressed her hands against his chest. "But I thought you were dead, Carlisle."
"You thought I was dead?" He repeated.
Ada nodded and hung her head. "I've seen your grave. I've stood before your tombstone."
He had a grave? This was new to him and it surprised him. But then again, there were a lot of things he didn't remember. Ada definitely knew more of their past and he wondered why she had been able to keep her memories while he hadn't. She would be able to fill in the gaps for him. There was so much more to discover and uncover of his past. All he remembered was when and how he was turned, but everything else before that was mostly a mystery.
"Perhaps it's best that you never saw me like this back then?" He said soothingly as he cupped her face. "You would have been frightened and I might not have been able to control myself around you while you were human. In fact, I'm certain I would have sucked the life right out of you if I'd been anywhere near you."
He was trying to comfort her as he noticed the sorrow loud and clear in her voice, but the look in her eyes didn't match the emotion and it concerned him a little. What she was giving him was a look of sympathy. Again stating the obvious that she knew something he didn't. But thankfully she didn't leave him in the dark for very long.
"According to the words on your tomb, you died two years after me."
"What do you mean I died after you?" At first he frowned, but then it dawned on him. "You were immortal already?"
The woman nodded, swallowed and turned her back to him. Ada didn't remember all of the details, but she had recorded his death in one of her journals when she found out.
"I roamed through England for a couple of years after I was turned. It took a while before I recalled most of my memories, but eventually they came back to me. I returned to Hadleigh to look for you. No hidden agenda or any sort of intention, just to see how you were faring. I asked the church on your whereabouts before one of the nuns started to cry."
Hadleigh. The name sounded familiar. Yes, Hadleigh. Carlisle stepped closer to Ada again, who stood there with her arms wrapped around herself. He inhaled her sweet scent as he slipped his arms around her waist.
"Tell me everything." He whispered against her hair.
"It's a bit blurry. But I remember reading your name on that stone slab. It broke my heart into a million pieces and worst of it was,- I couldn't even shed a tear because of what I am." She let out a shuddering breath and Carlisle felt her tremble against him. "I left Hadleigh forever after that day. I haven't been back since."
Ada shifted and she turned around in his arms to face him. "When I saw you two days ago, you looked so familiar. I wasn't sure from where or when at first."
"But you remembered eventually." Carlisle said as he lowered his hands to rest at the small of her back.
"Yes, only I couldn't believe it. Even after I figured that it must be you, I was still convinced I was wrong and that you might be a descendent of sorts. It wasn't until I saw you again tonight that I was absolutely and a hundred percent sure."
"I'm glad you came. If you hadn't I would have stayed in the dark even longer and most likely would have lost my damn mind. It still feels like I am. There's so much I want to ask, so much that I want to know. So many things that I'm feeling."
Carlisle leaned in and placed his forehead against Ada's. A low growl rumbled in his throat and he stopped his caresses on her back to pull her closer.
"Ada,-"
"Carlisle,-" She started and he opened his eyes. "Do you know my name?"
The blonde vampire looked at her with confusion. Why was she changing the subject? "Your name?"
"My real name. It's not Ada."
A quiet spell filled the room and Carlisle felt something slipping away. It was right there in the back of his mind and on the tip of his tongue. Wasn't it? He had no answer and he saw a look of disappointment cross Ada's face.
"I,- It is,-"
"You have no idea." She replied and shook her head, with a gentle push she shoved him back.
Again with this, Carlisle clenched his jaw. She was pushing him away. Why? Why was she fighting him? He knew how she really felt about him. He sensed it. He could smell it. As obvious as a bee was attracted to the scent of a flower to gather its pollen, she couldn't stay away from him either. Yet here she was trying all sorts of things to make sure he would stray from her.
"Don't do this." He spoke firmly. "You know my memory is clouded. It won't come back all at once, but it will eventually. I know what I'm feeling in here." He patted his hand against his chest. "Isn't that enough?"
"It would be if things were different." Ada answered.
Carlisle arched an eyebrow. "Different how?"
"You have a family." She exclaimed and the other vampire went quiet.
A coven. His family. One he decided to create for himself back in 1918. He'd tried to be part of other covens. Joining the Volturi had been one of the longest time he'd ever stayed with another group until he went on to find and make one of his own.
Ada was right, all of this would be much easier if he wasn't involved already. If he didn't have the responsibility of a father figure. But he was married and he had a family.
"All these centuries you had no idea about me. No memory or recollection of my existence. You made a life for yourself." Ada added, her brow furrowed and her eyes sad.
It was complicated and Carlisle wished things were different, but they weren't. The minute he had caught Ada's scent on Charlie, he knew there was a change on the horizon. The scent of a destined mate. He didn't believe it at first, but the more he tried to approach the situation rationally, morally and logically, the more he failed at it.
After three hundred years fate had decided to give him the woman who he was suppose to be with. And not just anybody, but the very same woman he loved before he was turned into an immortal being.
"You're not being fair." Carlisle countered. "You are part of my life, Ada. A life which was taken from me. I cannot go back home and pretend you don't exist."
Ada shook her head. "I'm not asking you to pretend,-"
All of a sudden she felt a push against her shoulders as Carlisle backed her up against a wall, pinning her between between his arms. She could easily toss him aside, but he would just keep coming back until she'd listen to him.
"Then what are you asking?" He asked staring intensely as he lowered his hands to rest on top of her shoulders. "Don't talk to me as if I have to give you up after tonight, because it sounds like you're saying just that. Well, you can forget about it because that's not going to happen. I will not do it."
The grip on her shoulders intensified and Ada let out a whimper, not from pain but from what she was trying to fight against.
"I don't know what I'm asking. Don't you think I'm just as confused as you are? That I don't have this desire to want you?" She panted.
"Look,-" Carlisle sighed and he cupped her face while trying to control himself from responding to what she'd just said. "I know you want to do what's morally right, as do I. Only we both know that those rules don't hold ground in our world. We only have two options here. Accept that we are bonded or wither away in a slow and agonizing way."
"Or instant death."
"That's not funny."
"I wasn't trying to be." Ada answered as she grabbed hold of his arms. "I don't know what to do either, Carlisle. Although I had come up with one thing."
She paused and nodded at the mess surrounding them.
Carlisle followed her gaze and took in all of the clothes, books, pieces of paper and several trunks and suitcases. If he didn't know any better he would suspect somebody had ransacked the place, or that Ada was a very messy woman. But somehow he knew neither of those things were true, which meant there was only one other logical answer. She was packing her things.
He turned back to her. "You were planning on leaving?"
"I figured it made sense. With me out of the picture, everything in Forks will go back to the way it was. If you hadn't shown up, this place would have been empty come morning."
"And now that I'm here?" Carlisle asked with a low voice.
He reached for the side of her head and ran a hand through her hair. It was a gentle caress all the while keeping his eyes locked with hers. Ada licked her bottom lip and Carlisle couldn't stop the satisfying hum coming from his own mouth.
"I meant what I said." Ada answered. "Instant death would be kinder than never seeing you again."
Carlisle agreed. "Which is exactly what will happen if you were to leave this place. Not instantly, but after a while."
"Out of sight, out of mind. Isn't that the phrase?" She countered.
"Out of your mind is more fitting. This works both ways, Ada." Carlisle continued trying to sound as serious as he could to make her realize what else was at stake here. "The further you are away from me, the more I'll lose it too. I'm not trying to sound cliché, but because what I'm telling you is true."
He could tell from the look in her eyes that she hadn't thought that far ahead yet. She'd only been thinking how to make things easier on his family. Truth was, her plan, would make things as equally difficult. But she had said that she wanted him too, had she not? That she was just as confused about all of this like he was. Carlisle knew what he wanted. Her. She couldn't leave Port Angeles. Not without him at least.
"You have to stay." He whispered. "Or if you really want to go, then there is no other choice for me but to come with you."
"You'll come with me?" Ada frowned.
It was difficult to say yes to that. Carlisle had a life here, his job, his house and yes, his family too. He was certain they'd understand eventually. Esme most of all. They'd talked about it earlier tonight. He couldn't hide from her how Ada was making him feel. She understood what meeting your destined mate meant.
As painful as it was on their love for each other, it was something he would always yearn for. Had Esme encountered the person she was tethered to, Carlisle would have reacted the same way. Hurt and jealous at first but ultimately he'd have to let go. Now that his had happened to him, he truly wished the same for his wife.
Carlisle nodded. "Yes."
For a moment the expression on Ada's face changed. A smile appeared swiftly and shortly. He blinked and it was gone. With each passing second he was getting through to her. Already he'd achieved and learned more within the last couple of minutes than the whole evening. He couldn't help but feel foolish for not doing this sooner. Being alone with her. Everything which had happened tonight could have been avoided.
Alice visiting Ada unexpectedly and downright threatening her not to come to their house. His other children cornering her when he and Esme had left. Edward tricking her with questions and he was convinced that Jasper had subdued their emotions all the while she was there. Even if this action had come in handy as there was no telling what might have happened had he not done so, it was incredibly rude and childish of them.
"Where you go, I go. I can't let you out of my sight, not now that I've found you." He added.
"Oh, Carlisle,-" Ada exhaled deeply. "I know you don't want to leave and to be honest I like it here, I don't want to leave either. But,-"
"Ssh,-" Carlisle hushed her. "Say no more. We'll figure it out. I promise." He pulled her into his arms again and inhaled deeply as her hair tickled his nose.
A gentle pressure was suddenly making its way around his upper body and it took him a couple of seconds to realize that Ada was wrapping her arms around him, pressing herself more against his chest. He released a guttural growl. If it was up to him, he would stay like this until the sun would rise. Actually if it was really up to him he would do far more than only hug her. He had to use every strength he had left within him to not sweep her up in his arms and surrender to his urges. There was something else he had to take care of first. He'd already crossed a line tonight, but he wasn't going to commit another.
"Ada," He sighed and he pulled back slightly.
"You have to go back." She said before he could.
"I do." Carlisle clenched the back of her turtleneck sweater in his hands. There was no need to explain why he had to go, he could tell that she understood.
"I will be back." He added.
Ada didn't reply, she only gazed into his eyes and gave a short nod of acknowledgement. Damn, it was hard to let go. Of course he would be back, just as he told her. But there was a concern bubbling up to the surface and he stared at her.
"Don't you dare leave."
He could send somebody to watch her. Bella perhaps. No, that would obviously be wrong. Though Carlisle was certain if anybody would be willing to do it, it would be his daughter-in-law.
"I mean it." He added with ferocity.
Ada nodded. "Take all the time you need, Carlisle. Do what you think is best. It's been three centuries since we stood like this. One day won't make a difference."
Three centuries, one more day. He was already struggling to keep it together this very moment. But she was right and he had to clear things with his family. With Esme. Carlisle leaned forward and lingered a few inches from her mouth. He tasted her scent one last time before planting a kiss against her lips. Swiftly but firmly.
He didn't look at her as he darted away. Didn't look over his shoulder as he ran into the forest back towards Forks. Looking back would only make leaving for now more difficult. Still he couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen. He had to come back as soon as possible, even if only to make sure that Ada would still be there.
::::::...::::::
Meanwhile, in the log cabin. Ada Rose Willoughby stared out of the window as Carlisle Cullen disappeared amongst the trees. The silver locket burning against her skin underneath her sweater. She reached for it and took it off.
Never forget, ~A~
The engraving meant so much more now. It pained her deeply to see Carlisle still not remembering anything. He might had figured out what they'd meant to each other and when, though the latter was debatable as he'd gotten a couple of hints which could have given that away. But he still didn't remember her real name. A minor detail perhaps, but she truly wanted him to unlock it through his own memory.
She couldn't believe he'd exactly looked for her tonight and that his adoptive children told him what had they'd done. The anger in his eyes had been apparent when he entered her house without knocking. His sudden appearance had very much taken her breath away, quite literally. How she'd managed to stay so in control, she didn't know. But she'd lost it all when he kissed her.
Biting her bottom lip, Ada covered her mouth with her hand. It had lasted a while, but she didn't feel satisfied. What she wouldn't give to feel it again. With a sigh she shook her head and headed towards the table in the middle of the room. She moved a stack of books aside and placed the locket on the wooden surface.
He didn't want her to leave. He wanted to be near her. But what was next? Had he mentioned it precisely? Ada cursed herself for her feeling so doubtful. But who could blame her? For so long she'd thought him dead. Gone from the face of the Earth. Only he wasn't and he said they were connected. Bonded and tethered to one another. She wasn't an expert on that. Could they really not stay away from each other now that they'd were reunited?
The further you go away from me, the more I'll lose it too.
It was a truth. His truth to be more precise. She had to keep that in mind. He believed it wholeheartedly.
We only have two options here. Accept that we are bonded or wither away in a slow and agonizing way.
She didn't want to wither away. But she meant what she had said. Death would be kinder if she couldn't have him. Ada felt a tug in her chest and she looked down at the locket. Carlisle asked, no, told her to stay put and that he'd be back soon. But what if he wouldn't? What if he couldn't?
We'll figure it out. I promise.
But he hadn't let her finish her sentence before making that promise. Ada didn't want to leave Port Angeles, was what she'd begun to say. But how could she stay in the proximity of Carlisle's coven when they'd already openly admitted they saw her as an intruder? A woman ready to break their family apart?
Ada ran a hand through her hair as she reached for a blank sheet of paper and a pen. Writing always calmed her down and it helped to gather her thoughts. Usually that was the case, but it didn't seem to do the job at the moment. A few minutes passed and she still hadn't managed to jot down a single word . She closed her eyes and puffed her cheeks. She just couldn't do it.
Opening her eyes, she put the pen down on the table and took a couple of steps back until she reached the leather trunk at the end of her bed. Lowering herself, Ada sat down on the lid and buried her head in her hands. She couldn't lose him. Not again.
"Carlisle,-"
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