JENNIE

The airport, security check, boarding my flight, it was all a blur. And after those long hours, I found myself in a taxi rushing to the hospital in Tel Aviv.

The building was massive, and I prayed that I'd find Lisa fast. I was close.

A pleasant woman at the reception desk gave me directions to the waiting room and the room number where Mary was staying. I was sure Lisa was not in the waiting room. All of the corridors looked the same. I became lost in the numbers, and I needed to ask directions twice. A panic rose in me as I rushed through the halls.

And then I saw her. Lisa was sitting in a plastic chair, her shoulders slouched, her face hidden in her hands. She didn't hear me walking closer.

I touched her shoulder, and she looked up. Her red-rimmed eyes fixed on mine, the pain swirling there. I dropped to my knees at her chair. Putting my arms around her, I needed to feel her close, to protect her from the pain.

Her familiar perfume hit me.

"I am so sorry," I whispered. I was sorry for everything, for Kai's accident, for my absence, for making her wait, and for her grandmother.

Lisa was sobbing in my arms, and I held her tighter.

"I am here," I whispered as I touched her neck, her hair. God, how I missed her. "I love you," I kept saying over and over again.

Still, she didn't say a word.

I was afraid to ask about her grandmother, fearing the worst. Her breathing was ragged, but Lisa calmed down as I held her. And then she looked at me, tears on her face. I moved closer, inches between our lips. I wasn't sure if she would move away. I wasn't sure what she felt about me. Would she take me back?

The world around stopped as I touched her cheek with my lips, kissed her tears, and tasted the salt on my tongue.

Lisa wasn't moving.

"I was waiting for you," she said finally. "But I couldn't do it anymore. You stayed with him."

"I am here," I breathed as I moved closer to her mouth. Still, she wasn't moving.

"Jennie, I …" Her eyes searched my face, but her hands were clenched on her lap; she didn't touch me. "I can't do it. You need to leave."

It hit me, like an invisible hand slapping my face. I scooted over.

"What?" My voice broke.

"I can't look at you and know that you didn't choose me. You left me! You rushed into my life, I fell in love with you, and poof, you were gone in the blink of an eye."

Lisa stood and took a step back from me. My Lisa, the person I loved the most, I had hurt the most.

"Please forgive me," I pleaded. "I messed up. I thought I was doing the right thing. But I kept hurting you by staying away, staying away with him. He needed me, and then I missed the moment when I should have left, and I stayed, and I didn't notice when my old life started to tug me back. And you still waited, even though I saw how difficult it was for you. You begged me to come, and I ignored it. You need to know that I never once thought I wouldn't be returning to you, it just took longer, and it's all my fault. My lingering didn't mean that I chose him. It was always you."

She still didn't move.

"I told myself that I was not like your parents, but I was. I woke up each morning in that place without you, but I kept telling myself soon, soon I would break up with him and go to you. And days turned into weeks, but you were still there, loving me, while I lived a double life. And when I was almost ready, you sent me that message, and I knew what I had done, I broke your heart with my stupid lingering. Because, Lisa, you are the strong one, and I am a coward. I was afraid to move, everything was okay, Kai was getting better, and you waited. Your withdrawal was my trigger. I love you, Lisa. Please take me back. Please let me make it right. Please let me love you. I am so sorry."

My eyes blurred, but in the midst of my tears, she looked back at me. I was too late; she didn't need me anymore.

She still was silent.

"I love you, Lisa," I murmured.

A small smile appeared on her lips.

"I started building a protective wall for myself again, and here you are. With just a few words, you became a bulldozer and demolished that wall into pebbles," she said. "Are you still with Kai?"

I shook my head.

Lisa kneeled at my side.

"Promise me one thing," she said. I sniffed and nodded. "Please don't ask me to wait ever again."

I nodded again, and she smiled. Lisa brushed a tear from my eyelashes. "I love you, Jennie." And her lips touched mine.

A powerful wave of relief washed over me as I kissed her back. I moved my hand through her hair, pressing her closer. I needed her to feel my love, and our hearts hammered together.

This time, she held me as I crashed in her arms. "I am so happy to see you."