She lay back on the chaise again, feeling like a dead duck.
No, she was not ill, or under the weather, or unwell in any way. She was pregnant. And quite stressed. And frankly starting to regret her plans of usurping Thorin!
He had frequented her every few days to gloat at how stressed she had been with running his kingdom. But also fortunately he had made up for it amply so by having sex with her (for which it turned out her insatiable appetite apparently was growing impossibly so of late)!
"Don't get up!" Oin grunted.
"But -"
"I must examine ye properly lass!" He grumbled again rifling through his bag. "Ah got it!"
Then first taking his ear trumpet he placed it on her stomach, which had started to take some form now. But apparently at that very moment her stomach made a particularly loud gurgling sound, not unlike some of the diamond drills she had heard down in the mines!
"Well, ye should have more garlic added to yer food. That babe's got gas..." Oin mumbled and turned back to his bag.
Next to her complete surprise he turned back and placed a particularly large toad on her belly.
"What...what in any decent God's name in this?!" She almost shrieked, but tried her best to remain still in case the frightened creature attempted to jump onto her face! Or worse into her open and screaming mouth! Although it really looked like it was more likely to eat her than the other way round!
"It's a river toad," Oin grumbled again. "We got the best one fer ye..."
"The best one?!" She scowled at it again as it sat there all slimy, perched on the peak of her stomach. "What did the others look like?!"
"There's no need to worry, he is there to make sure that your blood is not poisoned," Oin mumbled again pulling up a stool to sit there and watch the road on her stomach, rather intently.
"I don't know, he looks like he could probably GIVE me blood poisoning..."
"Good. He will draw out any impurities in yer blood through yer skin, lassie. Now stay there, while I come back with yer brew." Oin suddenly stood up and limped out of the door.
At first she tried her hardest not to look at the warty creature that stared at her like a chubby aunt who appeared to be ruminating something unpleasant. Then she attempted to close her eyes. Very briefly. Because apparently it was even worse not being able to see the thing, in case it really did decide to attack her!
So she decided to swap between looking at it and looking away, just so that she could keep an eye on it.
"Ah! The tummy toad."
The silence was broken by Thorins quiet arrival.
"What are you doing here...?" She grimaced nervously, in case her new visitor might startle it.
"I could not miss your first proper check up with Oin..." He moved closer to her so that he was in her direct vision. Then looking down at her small, growing abdomen, where the top of her skirts had been opened up, he smiled, almost lovingly. "And you are looking most radiant today, my wife...I am gathering your sleep is much improved of late...?"
He smile transformed into a smirk as he referred to their secret nights together.
"Well, actually I could do with more rest...and as for him..." She gestured with her face. "Master Oin has picked out the very best toad he could find so that we may transform him into a handsome new husband for me."
"Aye? In that case, I might have to kill him," Thorin chuckled. "It would not be a fair fight...one of us is handsome and strong, while the other looks quite...bloated..."
"Yes...you should tell Elise to stop feeding you whatever it is." She turned to look at him from where he knelt down by her and gently reached for her hand. He was proving to be a good distraction from the unpleasant creature. She had seen plenty of strange shaman medicine amongst the tribal peoples that dwelled around Agar, but nothing like this! And he too seemed...less morose than usual.
"Perhaps you are not such a foolish little girl after all," he offered quietly brushing his thumb over her knuckles.
Her heart too felt lighter now and she would have been lying if she did not admit that each time his piercing eyes looked into hers, her heart skipped a beat.
"Thank you," she whispered.
Suddenly the doors opened, and Dis walked in, parchment in hand, taking several steps at first, before she realised her brother was present and paused.
Thorin who had been kneeling over her, his hand gently touching her cheek, immediately stood up as though he had been pricked in the bottom with a hot poker!
"Thorin...?" Dis halted, lowering her parchment and carefully looking at him and then her, and back at him again.
"Dis..." He began, clearly attempting to consider what he might say to explain this, but thought better of it. "I merely came here to warn you that you must...hand back my throne...or else!"
He leant down, unable to resist and kissed her vigorously enough to make the toad hop on to his arm. It made him let out a groan in disgust before catching it and placing it in Dis' hands, who let out an unexpected scream.
"Just came to warn you," he narrowed his eyes at his reclining wife doing his best attempt to show his rivalry and deciding to latently insult her for good measure. "You...stunning little Serpent!"
And despite Dis' open irritation, he didn't hang around for any questions, promptly disappearing amongst the chaos again like a ghost.
"My dear! Do NOT get up!" She was quick to push her back down by the shoulders before placing the toad back on the pregnant woman's stomach. Then she looked at her hands, bringing them cautiously to her nose before quickly wiping them on her skirts, her brow knitting into the very picture of disapproval. "Now keep that toad on you, until Oin returns with your brew."
"Ugh, no more raw eggs please -"
"No today is your first brew."
"Oh dear gods." She couldn't even sigh properly because of the foul beast perched on her stomach. She was convinced it was waiting for the perfect opportunity for when she might open her mouth, just so that it could jump in!
"So..." Dis pick up her parchment again and took Oins stool. "What happened to have him seized the moment one sets eyes on him..?"
Dis narrowed her eyes at her brother's bride, assessing her reactions closely with great suspicion indeed.
"I...didn't...have time."
"Oh?" Dis raised her brows again, clear judgement written all over her face.
"I have this bloody thing on me! And it looks like it might eat me at any time!"
Dis laughed at that for a while, before her expressions went through some strange metamorphosis.
"By Mahal and Yavanna! He is your One isn't he?!" She put down her parchment again, bringing her hands to her bosom. "When I came in...the way he shot up! You two looked cozy..."
"No. No. He...was inspecting the toad!" She managed to counter, silently thankful she had inherited her mother's sharp mind. "Yes. Didn't you hear his threat?! Did you see how he left the room? There must be a hidden door in here..."
"Very well. If you say so," Dis pursed her lips, as if she didn't believe a word Shobha uttered. "Aye - he knows all the passageways, and the Royal halls are full of them...no I didn't see how he left...I too was worried about that creature...but you will have to put up with it twice more during your gestation."
She groaned briefly, only to pause mid sound, when the toad stirred, opening it's large bulgy eyes and admonishing her.
Once again the door opened abruptly, as Oin let himself in, followed by Dwalin and Arvind.
"What in Mahals name be going on?" Oin halted looking carefully at her stomach and the toad. "Did ye take him off?"
"No! Master Oin! Dis came in without knocking and gave the creature a fright!"
"Och Aye! Dis'll do that to ye." Dwalin agreed receiving a sour look from her.
"So it moved..." She complained. "Please can you take it off? I have had enough torture for today...I mean it clearly hasn't been fed this morning and it looks like it might just take a bite out of me..."
"Toads donnae eat yet lassie...but once we are done here, I will take him to the woman that lives at the edge of Dale," Oin looked at her and winked as he removed the toad from her and plopped it in his bag. "Now she will gimme all her rare herbs in exchange for a big juicy bugger like him..."
"Och! The lass will chunder if ye keep talkin like that Master Oin!" Dwalin flared him nostrils, while Arvind suppressed a chuckle.
"If yer all gonnae upset me work, then I will have ter ask yet ter leave." Oin grumbled before helping her sit up and handing her a small goblet filled with a rather murky looking liquid that was greenish brown in colour.
"What is that?!"
"It is good for you and the babe. Now drink." Oin pressed it into her hands.
"The question is where in Mordor did ye get that liquid from? The toad?" Dwalin chuckled.
"More like the run off from the men's latrines in the training camp!" Arvind could no longer resist, as he laughed out loud. "Don't taste it dear sister - just drink it."
She too could no longer tolerate the sight of the smell of it, as she brought it up to her lips. Her stomach churned horribly, so she quickly gave the goblet back to Oin, before grabbing the spittoon left by the chaise, and promptly vomiting a good volume.
Dwalin and Arvind found this far less humourous, quickly turning away.
"There, ye go lass," Oin patted her on the back, offering her a handkerchief and a separate glass of water. "That separates the real dwarrow and men from the younglings and boys..."
She washed her mouth out and began to tidy herself up.
"Yer still have ter drink that."
"We are also the bearers of bad news, Princess. Dain is on his way." Dwalin called from where they stood now. "Shall we ready the men?"
"Surely, it is only going to be a friendly visit?"
"He is not coming! Instead he is sending one of his generals! I know the dwarf. He likes a good squirmish. Not the sort to be reasoned with." Dwalin added.
"The sneak!" Shobha spat. Although she meant Thorin, the others nodded believing her reference to be aimed at Dain.
"We must find Thorin, sister." Arvind concluded. "That is the only way."
"Yes, my dear. We must find Thorin!" Dis echoed, almost sarcastically.
"How many soldiers are with him?"
"One platoon..." Dwalin began not wishing to add to her worries.
"But that's enough to cause us trouble." Arvind added.
"Find out how Dain got to know," she finished dressing and walked over to the door. "And feel free to search the study for the hidden passage. Once we find the way in, we can map out the passages."
Suddenly she felt a lot less light hearted, and a lot more doubtful of Thorins actions. It didn't make sense that he would have waited all this time to tell Dain. But he was also not forthcoming.
He was right. This was war.
She needed to clear her head and discuss how to deal with these issues, and immediately she thought of Balin.
Walking past Dwalin and Arun who were now discussing themselves what to do strategically in the event of an assault, she let herself out into the corridor and hurried on.
She was flanked right away by her guards, quietly, and while she would have protested before she was more focused on clearing her head.
The corridors seem to stretch out that morning in a haze of endless junctions and steps.
...
"Why will you not take any action, to win back your throne, Sire?" One of the dwarven lords swigged on his ale.
"Because, I have a plan."
"Can I at least convey your plans to your supporters. We cannot freely gather. We are being watched."
"Well, you will all have to remain patient." Thorin stood from the table. He found lords that drank during the day were not pleasant. Nor were they clever or good-looking.
"Is it because you have grown feelings for the girl?" His noble dwarf asked pointedly.
"No. It is because if we forcibly remove her, then she will be seen as a hero to all those in the kingdom who value an underdog," he paused before walking out. "Where as she is already struggling. If we give her enough time, out people will tire of her themselves..."
"So we sit here and do nothing..."
"No. We stay ready."
"Will you not wait for Lady Elise, my King?" He called from the table. "She is planning to cook you some of your favourite food today."
But Thorin was not interested. Instead he really wanted to know she was getting on with the toad.
"Perhaps another day."
...
Finally she had walked the corridors in the royal wing several times over, and eventually decided she would knock on Balins door
But before reaching the last door in the corridor, the bumped into Elise!
The dam carried a large basket of various foods, and meats, and their meeting almost sent the contents spilling.
Shobha put her hand out to steady it.
"You appear to be hosting a dinner party, Lady Elise?" She merely commented absentmindedly.
"Oh...well... My Queen, I... Um... His Highness stays on some nights...and well..." She attempted to look innocent. "And...I am sure you know his appetite is most impressive..."
"I'm sorry? I missed that..." It felt as though her heart stopped as well as her mind. And suddenly she felt very queasy indeed.
"Our King, your ladyship, he finds a comfortable home with me..."
"Oh I see..." She didn't know what else to say. Part of her felt betrayed. But love and commitment was never truly on offer to her. She was a trade, she reminded herself. And now she carried his heir her end of the deal was complete. "Well, I am glad that he is being looked after...could you also thank him for signing his abdication so that I may rule."
There were no feelings for her to consider apparently. So she would do what she believed was right.
She promptly turned on her heel and was about to set back to her study, when she remembered Elise. Turning, she spotted the dam still standing there apparently somewhat shocked at the last words.
Of course they were a terrible lie, brought about by the dams overt boasting over Elise's closeness to her husband!
"Good day, Lady Elise." She tilted her head, looking back over her shoulders to find the dam falling into a quick curtsy.
"Where to, my lady?" Ahmad her guard asked quietly.
"Back to my study," she hurried along. "I have an urgent letter to write to the Elven King...I know exactly how to reply to his kind invitation."
...