Author's Note: This story is an alternate universe of "The Devil's Double," my prologue fic where Yoichi was originally a villain working for All for One before he defected. This fic is not set in the good ending universe of the fic, but rather a slightly worse one where Japan went to hell and Yoichi became a rival villain to fight against All for One because hero society collapsed. I created this AU in a frenzied brainstorming session with Gentrychild because I really, really wanted a universe where All for One, Yoichi, and Izuku all became villains.
For newcomers, Hisashi and Yoichi are identical twins in this AU. Hisashi = All for One, Kaiji = The Second One for All user, and Sanzou = The Third One for All user.
Chapter One:
The great All for One sat at his desk, carefully reading over his draft invitation for a parlay. Gigantomachia did not even dare breathe for fear of interrupting his master's concentration. Hands behind his back, he stood guard at his master's shoulder. He'd been given a quirk that let him shrink down in size. Since assassination attempts had only been increasing against his master, this necessary ability let the bodyguard stay close at all times.
Exhaling, Hisashi emailed the invitation. (Even the master's sighs were elegant.) "Gigantomachia, make preparations for the parlay at once. The doctor will outfit you with hidden weapons under your skin. This is an opportunity. We'll be meeting in my brother's territory, but his people may be bribable. I'll formulate my plans after the meeting location is finalized."
Gigantomachia grumbled, "Why let the foolish traitor pick the location?"
Over the years since the Great Brother Betrayal, Gigantomachia had learned that offering to kill his master's traitorous brother deeply angered All for One, but insults to the fool amused him. However, of late Hisashi barely reacted even to the insults. He seemed weary and sad on the subject of his lost family. Gigantomachia burned with humiliation at his failure to retrieve the prize his master so desperately craved and ease the lines on his perfect face.
Hisashi replied, "Yoichi wouldn't come to any meeting set in my territory. He's not a complete idiot."
If Yoichi ever set foot on land under All for One's power, then no matter the sureties of safe passage he'd received, he would be immediately captured. Gigantomachia knew this. He did not understand why his master persisted in valuing the traitor above all other advantages even after so many years. The weak-minded fool had proven utterly unworthy of such consideration. However, Gigantomachia did not have to understand to obey. Worthless trash or not, the master wanted Yoichi Shigaraki so his bodyguard would secure him. One of these days.
"Assuming the traitor accepts," Gigantomachia muttered under his breath.
Hisashi's sensitive hearing picked up on the whisper. "Oh, Yoichi will come. This year, I invited Izuku Midoriya as well."
Gigantomachia's eyebrows rose. "That young upstart?" Izuku Midoriya had led a rebellion that had taken the northernmost part of Japan from All for One's grasp. "He is unworthy of your acknowledgement as a rival, Lord."
"I'm not inviting him to acknowledge him as a villain, though he's indisputably smart for a brat," Hisashi said calmly. "I'm inviting Midoriya to kill him. And you'll carry out the assassination."
Reading over the email, Yoichi said, "Well, I have to go this year. Izuku Midoriya will be attending! I'm going to recruit him to our side."
Leaning over his partner's shoulder, Kaiji grumbled, "I don't see why you like that brat so much."
"What's not to like? He's a brilliant genius who stole the north out from under my brother. Clearly he's a good person, a noble villain like us, because he's been working hard to protect everyone in his territory." Yoichi swiveled around. "I don't see why you don't like him. Normally, you'd adore anyone who humiliated All for One."
"Because he's clearly All for One's secret lovechild," Kaiji said. The red spikes in his hair seemed to stick up even higher in his irritation. A scowl twisted the scar extending across his face.
"Nonsense," Yoichi said. "If my brother had a child, then he'd lock the poor kid up in a bank vault."
"If he knew," Kaiji said. "Maybe he had a one night stand and never realized he had a son. Come on, the kid has curly hair, ruthless strategic ability, and no one is sure what his quirk is. I suspect Midoriya has the All for One quirk."
"My brother dislikes other humans touching him too much to sleep around. Plenty of people have curly hair and brains." Yoichi flipped his hand dismissively. "I think the kid is quirkless and hiding it with sleight of hand, just like I used to for years. It takes one to know one."
"Him being quirkless would be further proof he might be related to All for One," Kaiji persisted. "Someone with a father from before quirks became the majority would be less likely to inherit one."
"I see there's no reasoning with you. I'm sure you'll come to like the boy after he joins our side. You complained about most of our new members when they first joined." Yoichi stood up and headed for the common room. Pushing open the door, he called, "Everyone, we've got an invitation to a parlay. I'm allowed to take one bodyguard into the building since my brother is bringing Gigantomachia. Who wants to come?"
The other One for All holders sat around the living room. Hikage had his headsets in, a soft look on his face as he listened to classic music. En, Nana, and Banjo played cards. Sanzou looked up from his book with a smile, standing up to kiss both Yoichi and Kaiji.
One for All had been tossed around between Yoichi's most trusted people for the last century. Since the quirk had stockpiled Hisashi's immortality, all of the holders had remained alive over the decades. The current holder, Toshinori Yagi, was in the United States working as a hero on a long-term diplomatic mission to build good will and obtain access to American technology and military support.
The group had a very loose power structure, but Yoichi had evolved into the leader on account of being the only one able to match All for One in strategy. Even so, most decisions were made by a majority. However, All for One always addressed his invitations only to Yoichi and would negotiate with only him.
Nana set down her cards and leaned back on the sofa. "Not it. I got stuck on duty last time, and I still have nightmares about All for One's obnoxious speeches. Also, I'm visiting Toshi in America next week."
Banjo laughed. "I'd go, but I won't make any promises not to punch All for One's smug face."
"I know you can't control yourself, so I'm not taking you." Yoichi looked around the room for a victim. Hikage had silently vanished, which was his way of saying "not it." Hisashi hated Kaiji and Sanzou more than any other holders, as the two who had busted into the vault and rescued Yoichi. Bringing them would increase the risk of violence and decrease the odds of anything useful coming from the meeting. "En, would you—?"
"I'm going with you," Kaiji interrupted.
Yoichi turned, eyebrows raising with astonishment. "My hero, you prefer to spend as little time around All for One as possible."
Kaiji crossed his arms. "I don't trust All for One's lovechild not to pull something."
"ALL FOR ONE HAS A LOVECHILD?" Banjo shrieked. En exuded smoke and Nana gasped.
"No, it's just a crackpot theory of Kaiji's." Yoichi sighed. "He thinks that Izuku Midoriya is my brother's secret son."
"Hmm, interesting." En stroked his chin. "They do look a lot alike, now that you mention it."
Yoichi rolled his eyes. "If physical appearance is all you're going by, Midoriya looks like me." He slung his arms around both Kaiji and Sanzou. "And I've been in a happily committed relationship for decades, so he's not my lovechild."
Clearly kidding around, Nana said, "Midoriya resembles me a little, too. We have the same eye shape. Should I be added to the conspiracy theory?"
Gazing at Yoichi thoughtfully, En asked, "Did you and your brother have any cousins?"
"Only distant ones," Yoichi said. "It's probably just a coincidence. It doesn't make any sense for my brother to have a son but not to have vaulted him."
Kaiji said, "Look, I don't know for sure if there's a biological connection, but that kid reminds me of All for One and it raises my hackles. I'm coming along with you."
Sanzou ran an assessing gaze over Kaiji. "You're sure you can resist punching All for One in the face?"
"Don't mother-hen me." Kaiji scowled. "I promise I won't punch All for One in the face even if he's asking for it."
Yoichi shrugged. "Oh, all right. Once you meet Midoriya in person, I'm sure you'll like him. Have you listened to his speeches? He's very charismatic. I can't wait to meet him face-to-face. Together, we can persuade him to join forces with us. He'd make a great Ninth holder. He even has the number nine in his name!"
Izuku said, "I don't want to go."
His most trusted people sat around a wooden table. Tenya Iida had completely alert posture and unblinking eyes as usual. Ochaco Uraraka was doodling in her notebook, because she needed to keep her hands busy in order to stay focused. Shouto Todoroki had his chin resting on his palm, gazing at Izuku with a slightly dreamy expression.
Tenya said, "You've earned this opportunity. All for One and One for All are finally taking you seriously."
"That's what scares me!" Izuku wailed. He dug his fingers into his hair. "We all just started this revolt because we didn't want All for One to kill your parents." The Todorokis and Iidas had been rebels against All for One for generations. The Uraraka parents had gotten into a debt they couldn't pay, a fatal crime under All for One's rule. Izuku had never known any parents, but he'd been determined to help his friends, so he'd jumped into the rescue mission with both feet. "I honestly never thought we'd survive this long. How did I accidentally become the figurehead of a rebellion?"
It was a rhetorical question. Izuku knew how this mess had happened. The rescued prisoners had been too injured to take charge in the immediate aftermath of the revolt. A bunch of scared people had turned Izuku into the leader of the rebellion because no one wanted to be the target of All for One's wrath. They said that he didn't have a family for All for One to hurt. They said he'd only be a figurehead, as if that was a good thing. Izuku had insisted on real power if he had to be the leader, and dammit, they'd called his bluff and put him in charge.
Her hands sketching flowers across her notebook, Ochaco said, "The parlay promises a month-long ceasefire. We need that breather. We need it badly, Izuku." After having gone through a revolution together, they were all on first names terms.
"I know." Izuku hung his head. "I have to go, I just don't want to. Ugh. I'd put even odds at All for One trying to kill me."
Shouto sat up straighter. "Then I'm coming with you."
"All for One gave his word not to harm anyone," Tenya said.
"He's a villain," Ochaco said.
"Oh." Tenya frowned. "Good point. Then I want to come, too."
Izuku steepled his fingers together. "I can only take one person, and I need someone intimidating. All for One will be bringing the mighty Gigantomachia. Yoichi Shigaraki has his legendary team. Ochaco, Tenya, I know that both of you are capable of murder but you don't look like it. Shouto does."
The others examined Shouto, with his cool demeanor and intimidating scar, and mutually agreed that he looked the most terrifying. It was ironic because Shouto was the only person at the table who hadn't attempted murder before.
"I'll protect Izuku with my life," Shouto said fervently.
"No, you're supposed to make other people die for Izuku," Ochaco said. She muttered, "This is why I should go along."
"That, too." Shouto frowned. "I'm the only person here with no attempted murders—clearly I need to up my game."
"We won't start the violence if All for One doesn't." Izuku bit his lower lip. "We also need a strategy to diplomatically avoid all offers to join One for All while retaining their ongoing aid and information swaps."
"Why aren't we joining One for All?" Tenya asked. "Is it because they're villains?"
"We're villains too, Tenya," Ochaco said. The so-called exiled government of Japan had declared them as such. No one took that very seriously because the government hadn't been democratically elected for a long time, they had truly byzantine views about quirks and people with visible mutations, and they had absolutely no power.
Izuku said, "We're on the opposite end of Japan from One for All's territory. Currently All for One hasn't focused all his attention on crushing us because he doesn't want to fight a war on two fronts. On the other hand, his brother would love for him to fight a war on two fronts, so naturally he wants a formal alliance. However, we're currently the smallest power so I've judged that's not in our best interests. All for One would focus on crushing us first. I'd rather let Yoichi Shigaraki remain All for One's top priority for whatever personal reasons exist between them."
Shouto nodded. "That gives us time to build up our strength."
"Exactly." Izuku's gaze became distant. "Furthermore, I have decided that I don't trust Yoichi Shigaraki's judgement since he made the absolutely awful decision to send All Might to America."
"But that decision has worked out wonderfully for him," Ochaco said. "All Might nearly single-handedly turned American public opinion in favor of intervening in Japan. The man is a smiley propaganda machine. The weapons from the American military have been invaluable in helping One for All take new territory."
Izuku slammed his hands down on the table. "Now I can't get All Might merchandise! It's all being produced in America, and no matter how hard I try, I can't get the best pieces past the trade embargo. My withdrawal symptoms are severe! This is completely unacceptable. All Might is perfect and cannot be blamed, therefore I have decided the responsibility for this travesty falls on Yoichi Shigaraki, as the leader."
Ochaco lowered her pencil and raised an eyebrow. "Izuku, tell me honestly, are you refusing to join One for All because you can't get as much new All Might merchandise even though you already have a bank vault full?"
"Of course not. If I truly thought it was the smartest decision for us, then I would hold my nose and agree." Izuku crossed his arms. "However, because of all that beautiful All Might merch out of reach, my grudge is personal and my spite immeasurable."
Shouto suggested, "You could tell Yoichi Shigaraki that you'll only accept his offer to become One for All's ninth holder if he brings back All Might to offer you the quirk personally."
"Ah-ha!" Izuku pointed. "That's the kind of brilliant thinking that made you into my lieutenant. Now I finally have a reason to attend the parlay worth the risk of getting murdered by All for One."
Ochaco sighed and grumbled, "I see you have your priorities in order, leader."
The hotel building was surrounded by a shimmering shield, the newest technology from I-Island, that prevented anyone from leaving by any means. All three leaders would enter with exactly one bodyguard/lieutenant. All for One and Izuku would both be relying on teleportation—All for One had a power and Izuku had an ally named Oboro Shirakumo whose quirk had mutated into teleportation under life-threatening pressure. After Yoichi departed safely, the shield would be lifted and the other two could teleport away. This protocol had been set up to counter attempts by All for One to kidnap Yoichi. There had been many over the years.
Before the meeting, the three lieutenants were allowed to enter to sweep the meeting room for traps. (There had also been many of those over the years. Both sides had been guilty.) The small conference room had dark blue walls with no windows, a round table, and three thrones.
Kaiji arrived last, entering the room holding a bug detector shaped like a wand. He smiled politely at Shouto. "Nice to meet you." He ignored Gigantomachia.
Gigantomachia did not greet Kaiji, as he had not greeted Shouto. However, while he'd ignored Shouto, he glared at Kaiji with hate-filled eyes.
Setting down a bomb detector that he'd been pretending to know how to use, Shouto said, "Nice to meet you, Gearshift. You're a legend." Kaiji started out smiling but the smile dropped off his face as Shouto finished, "The only hero to ever seduce All for One!"
Slowly and wearily, Kaiji said, "If you weren't a child, I would kill you for saying that. You should learn how to keep your mouth shut before you turn eighteen."
Immune to fear when in the grips of a conspiracy theory, Shouto continued, "Some theorists say that All for One never loved again after you dumped him. However, I personally like the theory that you kicked him in the balls so hard he became impotent."
"How dare you!" Gigantomachia cried, lunging—straight past Shouto at Kaiji.
Side-stepping, Kaiji growled, "What are you attacking me for? Do you really want to break the truce this early? You know it's all bullshit! You were with All for One from the beginning, back when he and Yoichi used to swap clothing and pretend to be each other. You know it's all a goddamn misunderstanding because I kissed Yoichi while he was wearing All for One's coat."
Fists clenching, Gigantomachia growled, "Because of your obscene exhibitionism, people spread strange rumors about my master!" Tears formed in the corners of his eyes. "Furthermore, you treacherously seduced Lord's idiot brother and stole him away."
Shouto nodded. "That's why they call him the mythical Gear-play—"
Kaiji's neck swiveled around at an unnatural angle. He growled, "If you finish that word, then I will still not murder a child, but I will remember and hunt you down the day you turn eighteen."
Shouto's small amount of survival instinct asserted itself, and his mouth snapped close.
A camera detector broke in two in Gigantomachia's giant hands. His massive frame trembled with suppressed fury. He growled, "If I didn't have a mission from my master, you'd both die here."
"You're on our territory," Kaiji said cooly. "Go ahead and try it, big guy."
The two of them glared into each other's eyes long enough for it to get awkward. Neither would look away first. Shouto coughed. "Um, I did have a reason for bringing up your past, and it wasn't to insult you. I'm trying to find my frien—uh, my boss' long-lost parents. It will be a surprise gift for him. With extensive research, I've figured out that Izuku Midoriya is Gearshift's secret lovechild with either All for One or Yoichi Shigaraki."
Gigantomachia exhaled loudly enough to knock over a chair. Kaiji shook his head sadly and muttered, "If you're mentally incompetent, then I suppose I can't murder you even after you turn eighteen. Lucky save, kid."
Shouto said, "I consider Yoichi the more likely candidate as your current partner, but with your licentious reputation, I couldn't rule out you having a secret affair on the side."
Now sounding amused rather than angry, Kaiji said, "Kid, none of the three of us have the correct body parts to grow a baby. Just how fucking bad is sex education in All for One's territory?"
Gigantomachia stiffened. "The Lord is not responsible for this absurdity! You and the idiot brother bear all the blame for your much-earned reputation as a manwhore."
Patiently, Shouto said, "Izuku was created as a result of a Babymaking Quirk used during the Battle of Deika by an extremely unstable Metahuman Liberation Army member. The quirk causes anyone struck by it to manifest a baby with the last person they had sex with. The legendary conspiracy theorist Blue Flame has provided extensive documentation on the power and on everyone who got hit with the quirk during the battle." Shouto removed a folder from his backpack that he'd prepared in advance. "If you look at page five, Gearshift, you're on the list of people struck by the quirk."
"You've got my curiosity about how you came up with such a clown car full of nonsense." Kaiji took the folder. Gigantomachia read over his shoulder while trying to appear disinterested. "However I would have noticed if a freaky mpreg quirk knocked me up."
Shouto said, "The quirk created the babies near the user, not the victim. See page ten. The MLA planned to use the children as hostages against their powerful parents but got defeated too quickly, leading to all the infants being transported to the Deika Hospital. Where my dear friend Izuku Midoriya is listed as being born to unknown parents. Checkmate! Gearshift, you're the one struck by the quirk. Although I'm aware you're in a triad with another partner, Yoichi Shigaraki seemed the most likely other father due to the physical resemblance."
Flipping through the folder, Kaiji said, "I did notice who the kid looks like, but I assumed he was All for One's lovechild."
Gigantomachia recoiled. "The Lord has no children! I would know. I'm constantly by his side. I would be aware of any romantic relations."
Kaiji's forehead wrinkled. "That's true. If you're so sure…maybe I was wrong. Maybe Izuku Midoriya isn't part of the Shigaraki family. Because he's definitely not my fucking mpreg baby."
"Can you still say that after seeing this?" Shouto whipped out a second folder containing baby pictures. Obtained from the hospital through legally and morally indefensible means, they showed little Izuku giggling at the camera and sucking on his socks.
"Awwwww," Kaiji and Gigantomachia said together. Peering closer, Kaiji said, "That kid sure does look a lot like Yoichi." He flipped through the pictures, seeing Izuku at the orphanage growing older. "Damn, he's adorable. It should be a crime to be that cute."
Gigantomachia's eyes misted over. "It's like gazing upon a little lord."
Shouto pointed. "Here's the picture that convinced me Izuku must be your son, too, Gearshift." The photo showed an enraged toddler Izuku kicking an adult man in the balls. "That poor sap just stepped on little Izuku's one and only All Might figurine."
Kaiji gasped. "That angry look in his eyes is just like mine!"
"Exactly." Shouto nodded. "Indisputable proof."
Gigantomachia growled, "Nonsense, that's the same look I've seen and admired a million times on my lord's magnificent face when someone gets between him and a quirk."
Shouto hmmed under his breath. "Gearshift was the only confirmed hit by the Babymaking quirk. However, both All for One and Yoichi Shigaraki were also present on the battlefield. They might have been struck without any record."
Kaiji muttered, "The file describes a flash of blue light. I don't remember anything like that…but it was a bloody crowded battlefield." His eyes glazed over. "Aw, look at the baby's little toesie-woesies. I've always been too busy for children but suddenly the idea seems nice."
Shouto said, "Even if All for One got hit by the quirk instead, it's possible Gearshift is still the father. If rumors about All for One's graveyard of a love life are true, then Gearshift could still be the last person he slept with. Izuku could be All for One and Gearshift's lovechild!"
Two pairs of furious eyes turned on Shouto. He dropped the bomb detector, abandoned the folder of baby pictures, and fled. The subsequent fight over possession of the photos covered his escape. He'd already achieved his primary objective.
Shouto completely believed Blue Flame's conspiracy theory about the mysterious Babymaking quirk, but he'd faked evidence of Gearshift on the list of victims. It still could be true, he'd merely…embellished. He'd added in the far less likely possibility of All for One being Izuku's father and revealed it in front of Gigantomachia for a reason. All for One's obsession with family was a historical fact. Shouto didn't know how to use a bomb detector, and he had enough self-awareness to realize he couldn't stop a monster like Gigantomachia from murder for longer than a few seconds. However, Shouto had confidence that now All for One would no longer try to assassinate Izuku.
Gigantomachia knelt down at All for One's feet. "My lord, I've disobeyed your orders. If you disagree with my decision, then I am prepared for death."
Chin propped up on his fist, Hisashi raised an eyebrow. "I know you would not do such a thing lightly. Explain yourself."
Gigantomachia had confidence in his choice because he knew how much his master valued family. He did not always like it, especially concerning the coddling of the traitorous idiot brother who should have been killed a long time ago. But he respected his master's will. "Lord, I delayed the assassination of Izuku Midoriya because of new evidence that he might be your nephew." He quickly explained Shouto Todoroki's conspiracy theory, leaving out the hideous lies concerning his own beloved master who had never had any relations with Gear-playa. Then he held up a slightly burned picture that had been claimed from the brother thief in glorious battle.
Hisashi's forehead wrinkled. "A quirk like that sounds implausible—" His jaw dropped open as his eyes fell on a photo of baby Izuku sleeping in a basinet. "A miniature Yoichi with green hair!" He flipped through the pictures. "This resemblance…it's remarkable…oh! He has Yoichi's eyes! And Yoichi's feral expression!"
"I noticed the same signs of rabies on the idiot brother's face the last time he bit me," Gigantomachia said, keeping his head lowered until he received permission to rise.
Hisashi's hands trembled. "Izuku Midoriya is my brother's son. I have no doubt of it, no matter how this came about. I will have to investigate the precise circumstances. I don't see any trace of those despicable thieves in the boy, so it's possible my brother finally had the good sense to cheat. You have done well, Machia. Rise."
Exuberantly, Gigantomachia stood. "I'm honored, my lord."
"Any child of my brother is a child of mine, so we must take immediate steps to bring young Izuku home."
"Because you're identical twins and share the same DNA?"
"That too, but mostly because Yoichi is far too foolish to raise a child." Hisashi sniffed. "Yoichi lost his son! The fool can't seem to hold onto family. If I had a son, I'm certain I'd never misplace him."
"Definitely not, Lord. I would protect your son with my life."
Hisashi carefully tucked away the pictures as if handling precious treasures. "I look forward to meeting my nephew…soon to be my adopted son. Ha, Yoichi will be so upset when I steal his child. Maybe he'll even return to my side, however reluctantly, for the sake of his only other family member. If he offers to trade himself for his son, then I'll find a way to keep both." A familiar sparkling light entered Hisashi's eyes. Gigantomachia knew that look. It meant All for One would soon conquer and destroy. As Hisashi had grown bored, that look had become infrequent. But now it was back in full force.
What Lord wanted, Lord got. Besides, even if Gigantomachia might not understand his master's obsession with family, he certainly understood the appeal of taking revenge on the traitor by stealing his son.
Shouto knocked on the dressing room door. "Are you ready, Izuku?"
"Give me a moment." The voice sounded muffled. "I had a last minute change of clothes. Both All for One and One for All are wearing black trench coats. I didn't realize there was a dress code! Fortunately, Shirakumo found one in my size at the last moment and teleported it over." Izuku pushed open the door and stepped out. "How do I look?"
The black coat swept down menacingly, making Izuku's shoulders look broader. It was a bit too long for him, so he'd worn high red boots to compensate. Shouto gulped. "Oh, whoa."
"That bad?" Izuku asked self-consciously, fiddling with the upper button of his white shirt.
"That good! You look ready to conquer Japan." Shouto surreptitiously patted down a flame that had erupted on his collar.
Izuku exhaled. "Good, because I'm about to meet with two of the top villains in the world, and I need to look like I'm not terrified. How's my face?" He scrunched up his nose.
Shouto shook his head. "No, no, you look constipated."
"How about now?" Izuku stuck out his lower lip. What was intended to be a ferocious scowl looked more like a cute pout.
Shouto said, "I'd give you anything at the negotiating table if you gazed at me with those eyes, but I can't call it scary. Hmm. Imagine the moment when you learned that All for One had banned All Might merchandise in his territory and demanded everyone with a collection turn it over to be burned."
Izuku's face transformed into the ferocious snarl of an angry demon guarding the shrine gate to hell.
Shouto clapped. "Perfect! Hold that expression. Let's go."
Fidgeting in their dressing room, Kaiji explained, "And that's how Izuku Midoriya is actually our long-lost son."
Yoichi didn't even look in his partner's direction as he worked gel into his hair. "My beloved hero and the love of my life…I can't believe you fell for that bull crap. Blue Flame is a notorious online conspiracy theorist. He made up the Babymaking quirk so he could justify a hundred different theories about who is whose secret lovechild, each one more ridiculous than the last. The Deika hospital had a surplus of unidentified babies because the MLA was involved in human trafficking, not because of a nonexistent quirk."
"But…just look at the baby pictures!" Kaiji waved a folder that had been ripped in two.
Footsteps came down the hallway. Yoichi said, "I'll look at the boy in-person, that will tell me if there's any chance he's a distant cousin." He cracked the door and peered out.
Izuku Midoriya swept down the hallway at a slow but measured pace. His black trench coat swirled around his feet. Iciness radiated from his piercing green eyes down his clenched jaw. Shouto Todoroki followed a pace behind him, a silent guard.
Yoichi gasped. "Oh my god. Kaiji, you were right the first time. That kid is my brother's secret lovechild! He looks just like my brother as a teen and he has the exact same aura. Anyone can get a new face with plastic surgery or a quirk, but that aura can't be duplicated. Only our family can wear The Coat so well!"
Kaiji frowned. "Or he could be our child."
"If he's my brother's son, then obviously I have to steal him," Yoichi declared. "My worthless brother doesn't deserve such a cute child. Why shouldn't he be our son? We'd be better parents. I'm sure a brave, noble boy who cares about helping other people would prefer our side."
Yoichi and Kaiji's gazes locked, conveying a mutual agreement. The precise details of how Izuku had come to exist and who had donated the DNA did not matter. They both wanted Izuku for a son, so they would make it happen.
A new table had been dragged into the conference room after Kaiji and Gigantomachia had burned the last one to ashes. The walls still had deep scrapes and scorch marks. The thrones had survived. All for One had a magnificent black throne with a red cushion and two skulls on either armrest. Yoichi would say that his own throne was less extra, a simply black throne with a round back. As the newest, Izuku had been given a spare throne similar to Yoichi's with a thick red cushion. Izuku sat on his throne with Shouto standing behind (and standing on his tiptoes in an attempt to look more intimidating.)
Hisashi and Yoichi nearly ran into each other at the doorway, their bodyguards at their backs. Both brothers stopped, neither willing to give way and let the other go first. Hisashi's gaze raked his brother disapprovingly. "Yoichi. You look too skinny, you clearly don't eat enough without me. How dare you bring the brother thief into my presence? My entire inner council was disgusted to hear of your outrageous choice of a bodyguard."
From his smug tone, it was clear he had no idea why other people had interpreted this as a calculated insult. Over an entire century, Hisashi had somehow failed to ever find out that people believed Kaiji was his ex, despite history books being written on the subject of how the Shigaraki twins' messy love lives had altered the fate of Japan. At this point both his allies and his enemies had agreed to keep him in the dark for fear of the massive explosion from his delayed reaction.
"My hero isn't a thief. I'm not an object to be stolen." Yoichi spoke in the voice of someone who'd said this too many times and had given up on being taken seriously. His tone turned impish: "Unless he's stealing pictures. Look, I have more than you." He waved the folder tauntingly.
Gigantomachia bared his teeth. "The thief was holding the precious pictures, and I feared to destroy them. I was at an unfair disadvantage."
Kaiji rolled on the balls of his feet. "I'm ready for a rematch anytime, dickhead."
Disaster was narrowly averted when Izuku called from the conference room, "Are you coming?"
Both brothers jerked their heads around like hunting dogs tracking their prey. They sprang forward, bumping into each other as they went through the door at the same time.
Hisashi settled onto his throne with one leg crossed over the other. He flashed a charming (and predatory) smile. "My dear boy, congratulations on your recent success in your first real battle. I feel proud. Taking over your own territory at such a tender age! You remind me a lot of myself."
"Um…thanks." Izuku surreptitiously checked under his chair for a bomb. "I'm surprised you're being such a good sport about this…since I took a piece of your territory."
Yoichi laughed loudly. "Good for you! My brother deserves to be slapped on the nose every so often. It's the only reason his ego hasn't yet grown too large for his coat. You're following in my footsteps finding new ways to annoy him." He sat on his throne while Kaiji assumed bodyguard position behind him.
Gigantomachia had been glaring hatefully at Yoichi from the moment he laid eyes on him. He hadn't removed his gaze the entire walk to the throne. But upon taking his place behind the master, he sniffed the air. His eyes lit up. "A little lord!" His full attention placed itself on Izuku instead, who sweated under that intense stare.
Kaiji sidled up to Izuku. "May I offer you a drink? I brought along Yoichi's favorite canned tea."
"How dare you!" Gigantomachia shot over. "I will fetch the little lord a drink."
Izuku looked between them with confusion. "We all agreed to provide our own refreshments, for security reasons."
"Yes, I brought your green tea." Shouto handed it over, glaring at the interlopers.
Kaiji said, "You can have both drinks. I'll take a sip first to prove it isn't poisoned." He opened his can and sipped. "Gigantomachia can't do that because he's immune to poison."
Gigantomachia looked ready to tear out his hair in frustration. "I'll get Lord to remove my poison immunity long enough for me to taste-test for you, too."
"Refreshments provided by All for One are always roofied, just ask Yoichi."
"Lies and slander from the brother thief!"
As the two bodyguards argued, Izuku ignored them and drank his tea. Both of the villains on their thrones were staring at him with an intentness that made him squirm. Izuku said, "I believe we intended to discuss how to minimize foreign interference in Japan. If we all invite in foreign allies, it might backlash on all of us."
"Oh, forget about that." Hisashi waved his hand dismissively. "What are your likes and dislikes?"
"Eh?" Izuku gaped. "Um…I like living. I dislike the assassins and raiding parties you've been sending across my borders, so if we could get back on topic and agree to—"
"What physical objects do you like?" Hisashi insisted.
"Um, I could use weapons and medical supplies…?" Izuku looked at the villain's face, trying to read what was going on.
Hisashi nodded. "I'll have a truckload sent over at once."
"Um…but I'm a rebel fighting a civil war in your territory…" Izuku squirmed in his seat and blinked.
Hisashi shrugged. "Unimportant. I can gift you that territory as a present after you swear fealty to me and come to live in my palace."
"After I WHAT?" Izuku clamped a hand over his mouth to control the aborted shriek.
Yoichi sneered. "Just like my brother, always bribing people with material objects. Izuku, if you come to live with me instead, then all the holders of One for All will become your family. We'll treat you as an equal, with respect and kindness. I'll shelter you from Hisashi's control. Also, I'm rich too! I can spoil you with gifts just as well as my brother!"
Izuku's eyes narrowed. "I did want to discuss the lack of All Might merchandise in Japan. In fact, it would be great if the ultimate limited edition one of a kind real All Might would return home."
"All Might?" Yoichi pouted. "But I'm your un—ahem. How about my own merchandise? Would you like a truckload of One for All merch?"
"No," Izuku stated flatly.
Hisashi said, "I have loads of demon king merchandise."
"No one wants your demon king merchandise!" Yoichi shouted. "That garbage didn't even sell to other fans besides you."
Meanwhile, Kaiji and Gigantomachia's argument had turned vicious. Grabbing each other's collars, they smashed into the table. The drinks spilled from their hands. Shouto took off his jacket and flung it in front of Izuku to protect him from the drops. He did not speak a word, like a proper bodyguard, but the sparkles in his eyes made it clear how smug he felt at doing a better job than his two seniors.
Izuku stood up. "Violence has broken out. By the rules of the treaty, we should all return home." What he actually meant was that this entire situation confused him, and he did not like being confused in enemy territory.
"No!" Hisashi and Yoichi cried together. Meanwhile, the two bodyguards continue to grapple on the floor. They'd started fighting dirty, biting and clawing.
Hisashi said, "We haven't gotten to know each other yet. Have you ever watched or read Captain Hero? I'll send you a set of the comics so we can discuss them when you visit me."
"He's too smart to step into your lair, brother." Yoichi sneered. "Izuku, my good friend Nana raised Toshinori. He always sends her a complimentary copy of every new piece of his merch produced."
"Oh!" Izuku's eyes lit up. Only Shouto's hand on his shoulder stopped him from going over to Yoichi.
Fuming, Hisashi said, "I'll extend the ceasefire between our territories for a year if you hug me."
Izuku's neck turned. His words dried up in his throat. He needed that time, badly. It would let him build up his resources until he was strong enough to stab All for One in the back. But he could not believe the villain would offer unless it was a trap. Did All for One plan to knife him in the back during the hug?
"No fair!" Yoichi cried. "I'll send a ton of supplies to support the rebellion and a ton of All Might merchandise if you hug me. I don't understand what you meant about the ultimate piece of merch but I'll try to get that for you, too."
Izuku could turn down the All Might merch even less than a chance to save his own life. "Well…"
Kaiji kicked Gigantomachia between the legs, then leapt up. Blood dripped from a bitemark on his forehead. He whispered in Yoichi's ear.
Yoichi said, "Kaiji wants a hug, too."
Gigantomachia stood up, barely even sweating despite the low blow. He crouched down before his master's throne and whispered.
Hisashi shrugged. "A hug for Gigantomachia, as well."
Izuku looked between the four powerful villains, feeling like the last Hello Kitty doll in a store full of covetous middle schoolers. "Um…d-deal?"
Rather than waiting for a turn like sane people, they all jumped on him at once. Izuku felt smothered by four pairs of arms around him, one set covering his nose and blocking his breathing. Gigantomachia seemed to be trying to crush him. It went on for what felt like an eternity but was probably only seconds before Hisashi tried to pick Izuku up and carry him away. Yoichi shrieked and leapt on his brother, biting.
Izuku and Shouto snuck away in the confusion of the fight, taking Oboro's portal back home.
OMAKE TIME!
Omake: The Cause of the Revolution
Shouto: My father has been captured and is about to be executed.
Izuku: Shouto, you never liked your dad anyway.
Shouto: Also All for One has ordered everyone's All Might merchandise to be burned.
Izuku: You can adopt new parents, my collection can't be replaced! We must overthrow this tyrant!
#
Omake: The Family Business
Izuku: I object to being included in a villain meeting. I think of myself as more of a vigilante.
Shouto: That's what Yoichi Shigaraki says, and he's on the world's top ten most wanted list.
#
Omake: The Best Bodyguard
Kaiji: I'm an immortal vigilante with a rap sheet longer than Santa's naughty list.
Gigantomachia: I'm an unstoppable killing machine with more quirks than anyone except All for One himself.
Shouto: I might not be able to defeat you two in battle, but I can arrange for you to not even want to kill Izuku.
Kaiji: I gotta admit, you're good.
#
Omake: The Vaulting is Genetic
Izuku: If Yoichi handed over All Might to tuck away in a hypothetical bank vault, then I'd join his side.
Shouto: There's nothing hypothetical about your bank vault—I helped you clean it yesterday.
#
Omake: The Name that Must Not be Spoken
Izuku: Gearshift, it's a matter of historical fact that you banged All for One. I'm not judging…actually I am judging you hard. I need to know how recent this was so hopefully I can lay to rest Shouto's theory about me being your lovechild with All for One.
Kaiji: It never happened. Also, it never happened over a century ago! You're only a teenager!
Izuku: Shouto says that Gear-playa never stopped conquering hearts and places located lower on the body.
Kaiji: If you weren't a kid then you would die for saying that nickname. You're lucky you're my dumb kid or I might murder you anyway.
#
Omake: Dekubowl
Shouto: Oh no, I just realized that in proving my conspiracy theory I made a terrible impression on my crush's dad.
Ochaco: Sucks to be you!
Tenya: I excel at making adults like me.