Chapter Two:

Once safely back in his planning room, Izuku shucked off his coat, now sticky with his nervous sweat. Throwing up his hands, he moaned, "Why do four villains want to hug me?"

"I have no idea," Shouto said, looking sideways.

Izuku whirled around. "Tell me what you know."

"It's a total mystery."

"You look sideways when you lie, Shouto!" Izuku glared. "What did you do?"

Shouto twiddled his thumbs, then cracked under the angry gaze. After spilling his story, he finished, "It's probably true if you'll only look at my evidence package."

"Don't you even start! I know better than to believe your conspiracy theories. I don't know how you convinced All for One and One for All of this nonsense."

"You irrationally hate Yoichi even though he's basically on our side, therefore he must be your father. I know just how you feel. It's a shared instinct for sons everywhere."

Izuku stared wearily. "First of all, my grudge over the declining supply of All Might merch is completely rational, and secondly your idea of normal father-son relations is warped by your own messed-up family."

Not denying his daddy issues, Shouto insisted, "Isn't it better this way? You can build up your power while playing nice with them. All for One was definitely about to kill you before I stopped him."

"Four grown men hugged me, Shouto!" Izuku twitched. "They were seconds from trying to rip me in two like Solomon's baby. I have bruises from Gigantomachia's hug."

"That's terrible. Do you want me to kill him for you?" Shouto asked. "I probably wouldn't succeed, but I need an impressive attempted murder under my belt to match up to the others. Trying to kill Gigantomachia would be way more impressive than Tenya shooting Stain but missing the vitals or Ochaco burying Katsuki Bakugo alive but failing to keep him under the dirt."

"No!" Izuku yelped. "Gigantomachia would squash you like a bug. And when I think about what All for One would do as revenge if you somehow succeeded in taking down his bodyguard… Don't even joke about that. You've stressed me out enough already today. I'm sending you to the vault for a time-out." He pointed at the vault door embedded in the wall.

Shouto hung his head as he entered the vault. Turning around, he said, "All for One likes bank vaults. This is further proof that you—"

Izuku slammed the door in Shouto's face.

Ochaco Uraraka knocked on the vault door, then opened it by placing her eyeball in front of the retinal scanner. "I brought dinner." She carried in a tray with cold soba and side dishes. "Izuku is already starting to feel guilty. You'll be out of here soon. He realizes that the meeting would have gone far worse without your plan—he just hates strangers glomping him."

The vault held a comfy room with a sofa, widescreen TV, and a fridge full of snacks. The walls were lined with All Might merchandise. It had originally been Izuku's anti-anxiety room. He stayed inside to soothe his nerves in peace, surrounded by his collection. He'd sent Tenya there to calm down after the Stain Incident, and it had turned into a somewhat joking punishment among his lieutenants. (It was a joke but they still had to get in the vault.)

Shouto hadn't turned on the TV. Instead, he scribbled in a notebook. Yellow sticky notes connected with red string covered the coffee table in front of him. Without looking up, he said, "Good, because I have more ideas for ways we can use Izuku's parentage."

Ochaco pulled over an end table so she could set the food tray down without disrupting Shouto's hard work. Then she sat down on the couch next to him. "Maybe you should stay off that topic for a while. Izuku is still sore. In fact, if he sees your impressive research then you'll be lucky if you get out this month."

"I thought the All Might merchandise shipment would at least make him better inclined toward Yoichi Shigaraki."

"Alas, One for All sent a bunch of his own merchandise and Captain Hero merchandise with the All Might merch on the bottom. An All Might figurine got dented as a result. Izuku was in quite a temper about that."

"Yikes, he would be." Shouto added another sticky note to the table, not even looking at his dinner.

"All for One sent a bunch of Demon King merchandise without a single scrap of All Might content, so Izuku is even less happy with him."

"Good, good, it's too early to pick sides." Shouto added another sticky note. "I think I can convince All for One that Izuku is his secret lovechild. It would make Izuku a bit more secure than being his brother's son. I bet that All for One wants Izuku for revenge on his brother. That could turn sour. What if All for One takes him hostage, even as a bluff? I want Izuku to have more protection."

Ochaco rolled her eyes. "Were you not listening to me? Izuku wants you to drop it."

Shouto set down his notebook and took her hands. "Ochaco, my dear friend, look me in the eye and listen to me. If Izuku becomes the sole child of both One for All and All for One, then he will inherit both of their empires. So. Much. Money."

Dollar signs in her eyes, Ochaco breathed, "I'm listening."

Shouto pointed at his conspiracy theory board. "After the defeat of the MLA, Izuku first appeared in official records as a baby in Deika Hospital. He had no identification, nothing to connect him to any family, so he got sent to an orphanage. Although Blue Flame provides convincing evidence of the MLA being involved in creating children using a quirk, that's not the only possible origin story for Izuku. The MLA also kidnapped the children of powerful people as hostages and trafficked kids suspected to have strong quirks to MLA loyalist families."

"Whoa, that's horrible." Ochaco swallowed.

"Brutal," Shouto agreed, his face serious. "My own family lost my older brother Touya to the MLA kidnappings. He was so young, he might not even remember us—if he lives. That's why I first started investigating Deika Hospital, but I never found any clues about Touya."

"I'm sorry." Ochaco put an arm around her friend's shoulders.

"The Himura side of my family sold one of my cousins to the MLA, because they're awful. I tried to find him too, but nothing." Shouto straightened, his eyes burning. "But I was able to help a dozen other victims reunite with their families. That's why I kept at it even though hope for my own family seems lost."

"That's amazing." Ochaco patted his back. "You're putting those investigative abilities of yours to good use."

Shouto said, "Nana Shimura, a holder of One for All, had two children. Her son Kotaro moved to America long ago. He and his family seem to be doing well. They have no involvement in the disaster zone that is modern Japan. Her daughter Inko worked for One for All as a spy. Obviously, I only have hazy information about her missions. But All for One publicly bragged about seducing Nana Shimura's daughter as revenge for the two members he blamed for seducing his brother. It's difficult to say if it's true, or who seduced who—Inko went after All for One for information, so maybe she played him. Inko vanished from all records around that time."

"Inko Shimura…" Ochaco's brow wrinkled. "The same Inko Shimura whose death triggered the fall of the MLA?"

"That's correct. Inko was living in the countryside when the MLA raided One for All territory and killed her, burning her house down. All for One and One for All launched a joint attack on the MLA afterward and destroyed them."

"If All for One joined in, then does that mean he had feelings for Inko?"

"Impossible to say. The MLA was an old enemy of his—he would have had ample reason to aid in their downfall." Shouto pointed at another sticky note with a date. "The timing is important. It was a little more than nine months after Inko and All for One parted ways. Inko could have theoretically given birth to a child. If the MLA thought her child was All for One's, then they would have been eager to invade One for All territory to get their grasping hands on a baby from such a powerful bloodline."

Ochaco gasped, her hands going to her mouth. "This is starting to sound too real."

"Oh, it's mostly just theories. There's no hard evidence Inko Shimura had a child." Shouto shrugged. "I still think Izuku is the son of Yoichi Shigaraki and Gearshift. However, I have enough to make a convincing case to All for One. Then we can murder All for One and let Izuku inherit everything!"

Ochaco applauded. "You guys can have the territory and I'll take ninety percent of his money."

"Then you're in?" Shouto grinned. "I need an accomplice since I'm locked up in a bank vault. In addition to compiling the evidence for All for One, I've also rigged up a more comprehensive document on the Yoichi and Gearshift quirk baby theory. I sold my theory to his lieutenant, but I think Yoichi Shigaraki still needs more convincing before he writes Izuku into his will."

"With so much money at stake, I'm in." Ochaco held out her hand to shake.

Ochaco approached Tenya as he returned home from his morning run. "Hey, I need a favor. I'd like to borrow the Iida family smuggling network to deliver two important messages to All for One and One for All."

"To them personally?" Tenya chopped his arms as he considered. "Normally I would require a hefty payment, but for a friend, I'll do it for free."

"That's why we're besties." Ochaco's eyes sparkled at the magical word "free."

"Do you require a return delivery service?"

"Yes, I made them both propositions that I think they will be interested in." Ochaco's evil grin widened. She pulled out two envelopes. "The red envelope is for Yoichi Shigaraki and the purple envelope is for Hisashi Shigaraki."

An hour later, Tenya had forgotten which envelope was which. But he hated to admit mistakes, and he remembered that red was the signature color of All for One. Therefore, red went to Hisashi Shigaraki, right?

Yoichi gave Nana the opened purple envelope, then retreated to wait outside her bedroom. He politely pretended not to hear the crying coming from inside, until she opened the door.

Her eyes red and puffy, Nana said, "Yes, it's true. Inko was pregnant with Hisashi's child. She begged me not to tell anyone else, because she felt so ashamed. I told her no one would blame her."

"Of course not," Yoichi said. "My brother can be very charming."

"Inko just wanted some time to think and decide what to do. We didn't plan to keep your nephew a secret from you. She didn't feel she was in a position to raise a child, especially with her mental health issues at the time. But she felt like she wanted to have the child, so she kept going back and forth. Eventually she decided that an open adoption would have been ideal for her, where she could be a part of her child's life without primary custody. She was going to offer you the first chance to raise your nephew."

Tears stung Yoichi's eyes. He forced them down, wanting to focus on comforting Nana. He put an arm around her shoulders. "Did the MLA attack her because they knew?"

"I didn't realize at the time, but they must have." Nana leaned into the embrace. "I didn't think there was even the tiniest chance that the child survived, because Inko hadn't been close enough to her due date. Based on the documentation, it looks like they…cut the child out of her and used a quirk to keep him alive…" Nana broke down sobbing.

As she slid down against the wall, Yoichi caught her in his arms. He rocked her, muttering soothing nonsense.

"I should have told you," Nana mumbled. "At the time, I thought there was no point in hurting you with the knowledge. We could have searched for Izuku. He was at the hospital when we invaded, but we didn't even look for him!"

"You couldn't have known," Yoichi said. "You mustn't blame yourself." But he could tell she did blame herself, and would for a long time no matter what he said. He let her cry herself out, then put her to bed.

Afterward, Yoichi met with Kaiji and Sanzou back in their room. He had a million things he wanted to say, but he didn't make it through the door before he broke down sobbing.

Both of his partners stroked his hair and handed him tissues until he'd let it all out. Afterward, Yoichi blew his nose one last time. "Inko was going to give us a chance to adopt Izuku." Speaking those words made him break down crying again. Wiping his running nose, he asked, "D-do you think you would have wanted to…?"

"Yeah, I would have," Kaiji said.

Sanzou nodded. "I would have too."

"It's not too late." Kaiji slapped Yoichi on the back. "Chin up, dammit! We can still adopt the kid."

Sanzou cleared his throat. "Izuku is nearly an adult. We need to be sensitive to the fact that he probably doesn't want three strangers showing up and acting like his parents. We could still be a supportive presence in his life without forcing our way in."

Kaiji groaned. "Why do you have to be a downer?"

"He's right, as usual," Yoichi said. "We should take this slowly. It doesn't even seem like Izuku currently believes we're related. I can send back a hair sample to Izuku's friends to let him take a DNA test. Then I'll let him know that we can have whatever relationship he wants, at the pace he wants."

"No more forced hugs." Sanzou chopped Yoichi on the head. "I was ready to strangle you both when I heard about that."

"It wasn't forced, it was bribed!" Yoichi protested, rubbing his head. "But yeah, I know you're right. I got too caught up in competing with my brother. He brings out the worst in me. That's why I don't want to let him anywhere near Izuku. I don't want Izuku to end up with nightmares and scared of enclosed spaces too."

"That kid is smart as a whip and damn dangerous too," Kaiji said. "He can look after himself. And we can protect him so he doesn't always need to."

Yoichi nodded. "Now I just need to figure out what is the ultimate piece of All Might merchandise that Izuku wants. I'll obtain it even if I have to go to America to fetch it personally!"

"We'll figure it out." Sanzou squeezed Yoichi's arm, clearly meaning not just the merchandise but the entire complicated situation.

Exhaling, Yoichi sagged against his lover and kissed him: a soft kiss, asking for comfort not passion. Kaiji leaned on Yoichi's other side, and they sat together, soaking in each other's body warmth.

After a moment, Yoichi said, "I'm sorry that Izuku didn't turn out to be our quirk baby."

"Eh, I already figured." Kaiji shrugged. "I just went along with it because I wanted to adopt the kid. Only a moron would have believed that goddamn nonsense about a quirk that makes babies."

Hisashi said, "What a shame that the quirk that creates children got lost." He set down the red envelope on the table. "I could have sold it for a very high price. So…many regrets…"

There was a distant look in the master's eye. Gigantomachia knew that he was not truly regretting the quirk, but the loss of his nephew's childhood.

Sure enough, Hisashi muttered, "I was in the same hospital as my nephew, and I didn't even know it."

"This is hardly your responsibility, Lord," Gigantomachia said. "The traitor lost his own son."

"Yes, my brother provides me with trouble as always." Hisashi opened his eyes, then closed them. "Clearly Yoichi is unworthy as a father. Izuku Midoriya is my son genetically and morally. I understand and will carry out my responsibilities even if that fool Yoichi does not." He reached for paper and a pen. "I will attempt to convince the boy to come home. Should that fail, we will hire discrete bounty hunters to capture him alive."

Gigantomachia stood alert. "Lord, I will personally attend to this task."

"No, not you, not yet. I'm considering arranging a situation where Izuku is kidnapped and I can pretend to rescue him. You're too visibly affiliated with me." Hisashi looked his bodyguard over. "However, I will certainly require your help to look after my son after I find him. I'm frequently busy, after all."

A tear fell from Gigantomachia's eye. "Lord! I'm honored by your trust!" He dared take his master's hand and press a kiss to the back.

Hisashi patted Gigantomachia's head. Just like old times. It reminded him of another time, and a woman they'd both had a complicated relationship with. But Inko Shimura was dead, and she had nothing to do with the current situation.

Izuku flung open the office door and growled, "Ochacooooooooooo…"

From her position in front of her computer, she jumped. "Oh! I'm sorry about the photographs, it was too much money to resist."

"Photographs? What photographs? I was about to rip into you over sending All for One and One for All evidence that I'm both of their nephews."

"Oh. That." Ochaco hung her head. "But now we have a lovely ceasefire!"

"I have two villains trying to lure me into moving into their homes and letting them adopt me!"

"We're getting so many expensive presents."

"I'm pretty sure All for One has tried to kidnap me twice."

"That wasn't because of me, I didn't tell him anything about your security or movements."

Izuku's eyes narrowed. "What exactly did you tell All for One?"

Ochaco coughed and fiddled her feet.

Izuku crossed his arms. "If you don't tell me then I will check your computer and you'll end up in the vault twice as long. This is your last chance to come clean."

Ochaco mumbled, "Just some stuff about your likes and dislikes. Nothing too personal or relevant to our cause."

Barely keeping control, Izuku demanded, "Anything else?"

Ochaco winced. "Gigantomachia is paying me a stipend to guard you since he can't do it in-person. It's free money since he didn't ask me to do anything I wouldn't anyway. You know I can't turn down free money! I'm sorry. I'll use it to buy you All Might merch."

"Anything else?"

"I'm collecting double money from Yoichi and Kaiji for my information because they both think the other one is in charge of paying me."

"Anything else? Because I heard you mention photographs."

"Um…" Ochaco covered her face and whispered very quickly between her fingers, "They've been asking me to send them pictures of you. Um. In Yoichi's defense, he thinks you know about the pictures. All for One didn't care about your consent, he wanted some of you sleeping but I drew the line there. It was just too much money for me to resist! Please forgive me! I even put half the funds into your budget since you were my unwitting partner."

"Vault time." Izuku pointed at the door. Head lowered, she went willingly, as she ought to since she knew what she'd done.

Izuku stopped by the neighboring office. "Shouto, you're going back into the vault too. I know that detailed information package was your work, not Ochaco's."

"I would never deny it. I stand by my artwork," Shouto insisted. Izuku dragged him out of his office and threw him into the vault.

Dusting off his hands, Izuku mumbled to himself, "To think I got betrayed by two of my most trusted lieutenants…"

Tenya stepped out of his office. "Then you should place your trust better. No matter what, you can count on me to never betray you."

Izuku glared. "Tenya, I know you delivered the packages. You're going in the vault too."

"I-I did?" Tenya paled. "I didn't know what they were!"

Spitefully, Ochaco muttered, "He sent the wrong package to each of them, so now both All for One and One for All think that you're their nephew instead of their son. Because of him, you might not get your proper inheritance."

"I don't care about the inheritance and I don't care how they think I'm related to them!" Izuku glared. "I don't want them bothering me and trying to hug me at all."

As Izuku pushed his last friend into the vault, Tenya said, "There's still a way out of this. Yoichi and Hisashi Shigaraki both sent me back with a hair. If you take a DNA test then you can prove you're not related to them."

Ochaco raised her voice to protest the loss of money while Shouto kept insisting that Izuku was Yoichi's son.

Izuku perked up. "That's a great idea, Tenya. If it works, then I'll let you out of the vault first and you can be new most trusted lieutenant." He sealed the door shut.

Later, standing before the closed vault door, Izuku shouted, "Okay, who arranged for the fake DNA test results?"

Tenya could be heard muttering in confusion. Shouto laughed, followed by the sound of him jumping in the air. "I knew it!"

Izuku growled, "The results are fake! They have to be fake, because I don't want to be the son of either villain! And I definitely don't want to be the son of both!" Izuku's voice choked. "The DNA test says that both Hisashi and Yoichi Shigaraki are my fathers, and I cannot handle being their biologically improbable incest baby, so someone tell me how you faked this!"

More gently, Ochaco said, "Hisashi and Yoichi are identical twins. Their DNA is the same, so if one of them is your father then both of them will show up as your father on the test. A DNA test can't tell you which of two identical twins is your father."

Izuku took deep breaths. "Okay, that's a bit better than I thought." He gripped the front of his heart, feeling the racing slow down.

Ochaco said, "I'm shocked too—I thought we were scamming them."

Izuku muttered to himself, "But how can either of them be my father? The DNA test was supposed to prove the opposite so they would leave me alone!"

"I KNEW IT!" Shouto screamed even louder. Muffled sounds came from the vault as his friends jumped on him and tried to silence him.

Tenya said, "I'm sorry my plan didn't work. Do I still have to stay in the vault?"

"Yes, your idea only made everything worse," Izuku growled. "I'm holding all of you responsible for this mess. I wanted zero fathers and got two!"

Shouto said, "Hmm, you could prove who is your father if you can find and ask your other parent, but if you were created by a quirk as I suspect, then that won't be easy. The good news is that both brothers want to parent you."

"That's the bad news, Shouto!" Izuku shrieked. "I don't want villains trying to parent and hug me! Consider yourself vaulted!"

"That sounds like something All for One would say…" Shouto was silenced as Ochaco and Tenya jumped on him, muffling his voice and telling him to shut up because they'd like to get out of the vault before the end of the month.

Izuku would like to not be related to both All for One and One for All, so he wasn't making any promises about letting his treacherous friends out any time soon.

OMAKE TIME!

Omake: Shouto Just Wants to be Part of the Murder Squad

Izuku: One more hug, and I go feral.

Shouto: Sorry for siccing the dads on you. Do you want me to kill All for One for you?

Izuku: No, because you'd die! Are you using reverse psychology to make me accept my fate? Because if yes, it's working.

#

Omake: Why There is Confusion Over Shigaraki Brothers Being Twins

Hisashi: I'm the older brother.

Yoichi: You liar, I'm the older twin by nearly an hour!

Hisashi: I'm a year older.

Yoichi: Oh, yeah? Well, I'm two years older than you!

Hisashi: I'm three years older because you're a fool.

#

Omake: Kurogiri's Close Escape

Gigantomachia: I don't know how I feel about Lord having a son.

Hisashi: We're going to raise him together.

Gigantomachia: Suddenly I feel 100% enthusiastic!

Hisashi: As a busy villain I can't possibly be expected to raise a child, and since I don't have a shadow-faced undead taxi to do all the not fun parts, it will fall on you.

#

Omake: The Dad Yoichi Ending

Izuku: I have a list of merch demands if you want me to join your side.

Yoichi: You can have the real All Might to stick in a vault.

Izuku: For that, you can be my new dad.

All Might: Hey! I never agreed to this!

#

Omake: In Which Machia Figures It Out First (Partly)

Gigantomachia: Izuku is clearly Inko's son, they have a strong resemblance. And although the traitor has a reputation for stealing his brother's lovers, he's also flaming gay. Hmm. There is only one explanation: Izuku must be Lord's son on a spy mission pretending to be Yoichi's son. That way he can destroy the traitor from the inside. This must have been Lord's plan all along! Because Lord is so smart!

#

Omake: Why This Fic Would End Too Early If Sanzou Was at the Villain Meeting

Kaiji: Izuku is my secret son.

Sanzou: No, that quirk doesn't exist, don't buy into online conspiracy theories. However, that boy is clearly our nephew. Doesn't he look like Inko too? Hmm, that would explain a lot.

Yoichi: I know how to bond with Izuku, I'll send him Captain Hero merchandise.

Sanzou: That's what you would want. Izuku wants All Might merch.

Yoichi: But I'm jealous that my nephew seems to like All Might more than me. Maybe I should send him my own products so he will understand my awesomeness.

Sanzou: Shut up and give our new kid All Might merch. Actually, let's recall All Might from America. I bet he could talk Izuku into accepting One for All, and then we'll end this fic in one chapter.

#

Omake: Dekubowl Part 2

Ochaco: If I marry Izuku, then I inherit all the money! A little poison at the wedding reception will get rid of any in-laws I deem too pesky.

Shouto: Excuse me, after surviving my family drama, I'm far better suited than you to marry into Izuku's villain-saturated family.

Tenya: I'm still the person Izuku is the least mad at.

Author's Note: The DNA test is why this fic needs to be in "The Devil's Double" universe. Since Yoichi and All for One are identical twins, no DNA test in existence can tell which of them is Izuku's father. Izuku is in for an interesting time! (That said, All for One is Izuku's father.)