The World That Never Will Be Chapter 35
by the infamous and notorious tocasia
8/10/2023
CHAPTER 35
The room was simpler than Sephiroth expected. Plainly furnished, circular; more loft than audience chamber. Why would the master of such a tower seek to project austere humility? Or was it an insult?
The walls were shot through with hollow star windows, framed with translucent barrier magic stronger than any tempered glass. Various jugs and jars lurked beneath hanging, odd-shaped bookshelves seeded with tomes of unorthodox proportions, alive with spells. There was a green slate chalkboard but no chalk.
Yen Sid, clad in blue robes, sat behind a low table which came barely to his knees. His was the only chair, high-backed, of dark wood upholstered sparingly in hard green, an uncomfortable throne proclaiming its occupant unmistakably important.
His blue, conical hat glowed with golden stars and crescent moons. He had a hawk-like nose and heavy eyebrows; eyes narrowly contained in their orbits, pin-prick pupils sharp; a severe expression. His beard, full and wizened gray, reached past his chest.
His hands looked young, or ageless.
Sephiroth hated him immediately.
Yen Sid's office hadn't changed much from how Aqua remembered it. The dribbly candle atop the skull on the table wasn't noticeably shorter or more dribbly. Maybe it was a different candle.
Though still regal, Yen Sid looked... smaller. Less intimidating. Had her wanderings in Darkness changed her that much?
Ten years was a long time.
"I was not expecting you, Aqua." Was his voice more gravelly?
Master Aqua, she thought, but decided on a guest's humility. She wouldn't steer the meeting towards conflict unless there was no choice. Asserting a pretense of wisdom before the questions she was going to ask was laughable at best.
"I thought Merlin would have sent ahead?"
"His message must have been delayed." Yen Sid's suspicious glance slid to Sephiroth, who was standing by her side respectfully, just like she'd hoped. "Regardless, it is fortunate that you've returned to us. But... in his company..."
Aqua took a shielding step closer to Sephiroth. "Let him stay. He's under my protection."
No one could raise an eyebrow like Yen Sid.
"Be that as it may, it is unusual for you to take an interest in matters of hearts." Yen Sid's gaze was piercing, cold iron.
"I have chosen to assist her. Her mission is my own."
Yen Sid's scrutiny held, and Sephiroth simply returned the stare, stiff, formal, polite.
Eventually, Yen Sid leaned back in his chair, giving her permission to relax.
"So. Why have you come here, Master Aqua?"
It was... the first time he had used her title.
Where should she start?
"Please. I need to know why the darkness hasn't been destroyed." Aqua asked, in earnest anguish, with her whole being.
...they must've tried, right? The keyblade masters who came before? They must have tried to destroy the darkness, or knew it would be a catastrophe...
There was... wisdom... to her tradition, wasn't there?
She hadn't been taught mercy toward creatures of darkness. Then why... why should the darkness itself be worth preserving?
Even if the light was meant to be strictly retributive, what she'd gone through in the Realm of Darkness ought to give her permission to strike!
How was it fair, to fight the darkness forever and never win?
...please, please have a good reason for why what happened had to happen.
"You know the answer, Master Aqua. It is impossible."
Yen Sid continued, "Which is why the wielders of the Keyblade are tasked with striking down those who would upset the balance of light and darkness, instead."
Master Eraqus said that. She remembered. She remembered never questioning.
"Is that... the only answer?" Aqua tried. "Xehanort claimed to want balance, but caused only pain."
"It is." Yen Sid's response was gentle where she'd expected rebuke.
She grew bolder, "Did you know, that Xehanort was falling into darkness...? Did you know, what Xehanort was doing? What he was planning? Did... Master Eraqus know?"
"Yours is not the only generation to have faith in their friends, Master Aqua. Ours... was misplaced."
Sephiroth stepped forward. Protecting or usurping, Aqua did not know.
Yen Sid nodded beneficent allowance, "Ask, and I may answer."
"Did Xehanort make the heartless? Did he destroy my world?" Sephiroth's choice of beginnings surprised her.
"From a certain point of view, yes."
Sephiroth's second question came just as swift, "I wish to be free of the darkness. What must I do?"
"Look into your heart and choose light. Believe in the good in the worlds. Do not throw away kindness for strength."
"And if I wish to destroy the darkness entirely?"
"It cannot be done, no matter how many worlds you destroy and lives you take."
Aqua hid the shock in her heart, forbade it from her face.
...she'd almost known already.
...she'd kissed him anyway.
That... didn't have to mean she always would.
Sephiroth went on, "So, there would still be light and darkness if there were no hearts to hold them? I see. And the heartless?"
"The heartless and the darkness are deeply intertwined. The darkness is alive in the heartless. The heartless are the lives of darkness. Were you to destroy the darkness somehow, the heartless would cease to be. But even if you killed every heartless... the darkness would remain."
"There must be a way!" Aqua raised her voice to insist.
Yen Sid held firm, droning on the ancient teachings, "The path of balance is our only option. Destroying the darkness is impossible, as is destroying the light. The violence necessary in the attempt is far worse than you can imagine. Do not forget the lessons of the Keyblade War."
"I haven't forgotten!"
"One who understands war should seek to prevent it," Yen Sid counseled.
"...to end it forever," Sephiroth said.
Unsure if Sephiroth's impending dissertation would help or hinder her own argument, Aqua scrambled to shift the topic. She pushed aside the guilt that it hadn't been her first choice.
"I've been to see him, and Ven... hasn't woken up." She couldn't disguise her bitterness.
"Ventus's heart rests with Sora. The time has not come for him to awaken."
"Sora?"
"Yes. Sora's heart is connected to all those he meets. He is at the center of a constellation of light, and there is real power in his bonds of friendship. Like your Wayfinders. Without Sora to harbor his heart, Ventus would not have survived. Without Sora, the worlds would be lost to darkness, many times over."
"I should be grateful to him." But she wasn't, not fully. Why couldn't she have known this, before?
Silly Aqua. You were in the deepest Darkness, how could even Yen Sid have reached you?
"Have you... heard anything from Terra?" The chance was slim, but she couldn't, wouldn't assume...
"Xehanort may still wear that body. Whether or not anything of Terra has survived, I cannot say."
Aqua summoned her courage, "Xehanort tried to possess me in Darkness. If he still has Terra's body, why would Xehanort want mine?" It sickened her to say, to remember. She hated the insinuation that she was presenting herself as lesser.
Sephiroth tensed, at her side. He hated that, too. She was glad he had come with her.
"It's not surprising Xehanort wants your strength. He seeks to create thirteen darknesses. He's tried several variations on it already, but Sora has always been able to stop him."
"Thirteen?" Aqua gasped, "Seven lights and thirteen darknesses would open the way to Kingdom Hearts!"
"So that's where the name of the Organization came from," Sephiroth murmured.
"The Princesses of Heart are safe. Xehanort has not yet made another attempt on their light."
Aqua was horrified. "What do you mean, another attempt?!"
Sephiroth had not been in the presence of a being stronger than himself since he was a child.
An old hatred, bubbling up. A fear of helplessness. He felt small, and powerless, despite knowing he was anything but. Jealous, of this man, who spoke ponderously, rolling his R's as if every word carried the weight of prophecy, so obviously steeped in magic that could move the heavens.
He told himself his patience would be rewarded. He would endure. Already, this conference had value.
Yen Sid would look good pinned to the table by Masamune, like President Shinra.
Master Aqua would be upset. Assuming he could even accomplish the task! He might retreat, rather than challenge the sorcerer in the heart of his sanctum.
Sephiroth seethed to maintain proper decorum, did not allow his leather glove to creak with the clenching of his fist.
"Please, I need to know the whole story! What has Xehanort done, while I've been gone?"
Yen Sid considered, pace glacial, "If you are certain. Perhaps I should not burden you with it."
"Tell her," Sephiroth advised, in monotone, expression unreadable.
"I'll need to fight," Aqua argued. "How would it be better, if I didn't know the truth?"
Yen Sid did not have a crystal ball on the table. Instead, a sparkling cyclone of white mist billowed into existence, canvas for the sorcerer's retelling.
"Ten years ago, Ansem began to experiment with hearts. Ansem was known to be good, and wise, and his research was meant for the betterment of all, so we saw no need to intervene. But, as it turned out, the person known as 'Ansem' was not who he seemed to be."
Aqua guessed what came next, "No, oh no..."
Yen Sid nodded, "Xehanort had infiltrated the project, betrayed Ansem, and taken his name. By the time his treachery was discovered, Xehanort had opened the way to Darkness. It overcame him utterly, or he fed it his heart himself."
"Fool," Sephiroth judged.
Spectral chalk danced across the chalkboard, diagramming in fairy dust.
"One without a heart becomes a heartless. An identity warped by darkness. But in rare cases, there is something else left of that person. A second being of gray, a faint copy of the original, of thought and will but no emotion, called a Nobody."
Aqua listened. This was new to her.
"Xehanort is exceptional. He survived his transformation in two forms, as a Heartless with free will, which continued to call itself Ansem, and as a Nobody, which named itself Xemnas. Both sought the power of Kingdom Hearts; even split into two psyches, Xehanort never lost his guiding purpose. As Ansem, he unleashed the heartless on worlds beyond worlds, an unfathomable devastation."
Yen Sid addressed Sephiroth, "I believe that is how you came to be here."
Sephiroth stood rigid, in pensive silence.
"Sora was able to defeat Ansem. But Xemnas remained in the shadows. He recruited and created other Nobodies to serve him. Organization XIII. A number of great significance."
Aqua could not hide her shaking hands. Sephiroth clandestinely offered her one of his to hold. She dared not be seen to take it; changed her mind.
"That threat has passed. Sora defeated Xemnas. The Nobodies are dead. But, as you are already aware, this is not the end," Yen Sid swept his arms wide, razor sleeves dispelling the fog of memory. "Now Xehanort's soul is free to return, by whatever method he can manage, whole again once more. He had many schemes in place, to cheat death. We must be vigilant."
"This means... that because I saved Terra... Xehanort was able to..." Aqua heard her voice shrink small, her heartbeat stutter. "All that evil, because of me."
Everything was empty.
Aqua caught herself wishing for the numbness of the darkness, or its rage.
...but the greater rage was hers alone, that the history revealed didn't change anything about what she had to do.
"No. You must not blame yourself," Yen Sid ordered.
"It was my fault. That's why you didn't want to tell me." Her vision blurred, dimmed by tears that were not real, that could not fall.
Hollow.
How could truth matter so little, and hurt so much?
She barely registered Yen Sid's scalding calm. "Perhaps it is all of our faults, for not believing the extent of Xehanort's darkness earlier. It may have been worse, if Xehanort had fallen into Darkness directly. Or it may have benefited us, if he'd been trapped there and consumed entirely. We cannot know. However it began, Xehanort is the problem we must face now."