Chapter 9

2019

Noelle was just five days old, and Fitz hadn't had much sleep at all. He rubbed his face, feeling his stubble on his cheek. He also hadn't shaved, and that was something he had to do, even more than sleep. He didn't want to scratch his little girl's smooth skin on her face when he held her close.

She was lying in the cradle next to his bed, she was sleeping. Christmas had come and gone, and it wasn't anywhere near the Christmas Fitz thought he would be spending. He had himself all alone in the new condo, blinking lights, Christmas sounds, city cold, and relaxing warmth.

Looking over at the cradle, it was quite the opposite. Fitz finally took her out of the dress she had worn home from the hospital. Twice he called the nurse's station there asking what he thought were the dumbest of questions, but they were more than happy to help him.

It never dawned on him to get a pediatrician, one for Noelle's initial check up and for the remainder of her childhood. One of the nurses knew a doctor in Manhattan that worked in the same building as a top-notch pediatrician group. She gave Fitz the number.

Due to the holiday season, no new patients until after the New Year, but Noelle had been checked and given what she needed at the hospital, so it wasn't a big deal. Noelle's tiny soft head was turned, sleeping so Fitz had a clear look of her tiny face.

Her stomach going up and down with each small breath and Fitz shook his head, still in disbelief. "This isn't how I wanted to be a father. It's not your fault though, I'll never hold that against you, I just feel so stupid how it happened. Jacqui deserved to conceive in love, not chance." He closed his eyes. "And now, because of the stupidity she is gone."

He faced the window now, watched the rhythm of the blinking Christmas lights he had in the window. She was gone because she was on her way to give birth. Jacqui wouldn't have been pregnant if it wasn't for Fitz's drunken state. Now she's gone, all because he was horny during a sexual encounter he couldn't remember.

Having Noelle now, would he ever find love. He closed his eyes. If there was someone out there for him, and she was truly the one, he would treat her like she deserved to be treated.

Fitz would show love to her, make love to her, give her a feeling of ecstasy that he knew he could give. Jacqui deserved that and he didn't know what her and Turner's love life was like, but Turner was a decent man, he was sure Turner loved Jacqui and maybe it was good that he never knew the truth about the baby his wife was carrying.

Flipping his body on the bed, looking at Noelle's face, he whispered. "Just two hours, stay asleep for two hours, because that's all daddy needs to get some rest." Fitz yawned and for the first time since Noelle came home with him, he let the city sounds fade away and he fell into a nice quiet sleep.

Liv and Russel

Sex had been, lately, much like their relationship, dull and boring. Not that Liv ever did feel any kind of chills, numbness, or whatever comes with being with a man, a man you supposedly love, but lately it had been even worse than worse, if that was even possible.

Ever since she gave all of him that night he convinced her to take off from work and she woke up to an empty bed, it was hard for Liv to feel any kind of want towards Russel. Sex was over and done with in a flash because Liv couldn't get that feeling of loneliness out of her thoughts.

Liv had no idea of knowing this, tonight, would be the final time she would have sex with Russel after the years of less than satisfactory sex. She had begun birth control immediately after they had started dating. She had her doctor prescribe her the most effective form, she wanted nothing to chance.

On occasion, Russel would use a condom, but thank God, pregnancy never was an issue. This final night Liv understood why this relationship wouldn't last very much longer.

Exhaustion had finally caught up to Liv. She was working non stop at the office, staying there later than she should. Sometimes, upon coming home, it would be 1 or 2 am and Russel himself still wasn't home. She would wake up in the morning, his back to her as he slept without movement while Liv got ready for work.

Most days they wouldn't even see each other. On this particular day, early in October, Liv could hardly keep her eyes open anymore. "Liv, go home, will you, you're going burn yourself out, go." It was a direct order from Harrison, not as an employee, as a friend.

"Come on, leave your car here, I'll drive you home, you can hardly walk. You need to stop doing this to yourself, break it off with him."

Liv rested her head on the car window watching the streets go by. She looked down taking a deep breath. "Is the sex that good that you can't break it off?" Harrison wanted answers.

"Please, far from it. He's done in record time, no affection at all, and sometimes I think he's asleep before it's over." Liv shrugged.

"Yeah, you deserve a shitload better than that, what the hell?"

"I know Harrison, trust me I know." Liv would love the comfort of a lover's arms after making love. The first few weeks of their relationship was like that, then Russel got too comfortable, and Liv gave too much of herself up to him.

"You don't know, what I would do to feel love, for my body to respond to a touch of a man that I truly love. To keep thinking Russel is the one, is nothing but insanity." The car stopped outside the house. It was dark, meaning he wasn't home. "Thanks Harrison. I'll see you tomorrow."

Without a strength of energy left in her, Liv put on a silk nightgown and buried herself under the covers. She was asleep before her head hit the pillow and with what seemed like minutes, but was hours, she felt something on her back.

Russel's arm was around her waist and his lips were on her neck. "This is a pleasant surprise baby, I didn't think you'd be home, and in this nightgown." Liv turned to him. Within about the same time it took her to fall asleep, Russel was breathing heavy, finishing his business, rolling off Liv and falling asleep.

Liv was too tired to even think about it, and turned the opposite way and fell back asleep, not even caring this was the last time she would feel anything from Russel.

Present Day

Liv's hands were interlocked behind Fitz's neck. She had the small tree lit up, as she had since he gave it to her. Their foreheads were gently touching and he was smiling at her. He had just carried her to the room and Liv's body was in total anticipation of what was about to happen.

"Are you ok?" Fitz asked smiling.

"I'm fine, why?"

"Your heart." He placed his hand on her chest. "It's pounding."

She smiled; she took a deep hard swallow trying to calm her insides. "I know, that's for you. I just want you so much." Her lips went on to his and during the kiss, he lifted her shirt off, and unsnapped her bra leaving her topless. His hands rubbed down her sides and rested on her hips. Liv pulled back from the kiss and pulled his shirt off and tossed it on the floor right next to hers.

Her hands rubbed gently up his back, and she took sporadic slow breaths to calm herself. The love she felt for him and the desire to have him in her was overtaking her, and she was finding it hard to bring herself down. Now, sitting, straddled on his lap, her face fell into the crook of his neck, and she bit his earlobe. "You're so sexy, Fitz." She rubbed his curls.

Fitz stood her up, and he remained seated. He pulled her pants down, then looked at her in only her lace underwear and the sparkling snowflake necklace from their weekend getaway. "And you are so beautiful." He pulled her underwear down as she stepped out, and he took his pants and boxers off at once.

Without warning, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her down to the bed under him. He placed his lips back on hers and together, naked, they slowly kissed each other, bringing there foreplay to a difficult to ignore desire.

During the kiss, Fitz closed his eyes tightly. He let up for a bit and brought his hand down her side, rubbing the side of her smooth, gorgeous ass. He rolled off her, and they just faced each other. Her hand caressed his cheek.

"What about you? You ok?" Liv's turn to ask.

Fitz nodded his head slowly. "I just want to savor every moment with you, Livvie. I want this to be special, erotic, euphoric, mind blowing, and pure love making all at once." His baritone voice was going right through to her core, and she could feel the need for him. "I have a sort of Christmas wish list on how your body should be treated." He blushed.

"A wish list huh? That sounds like a turn on in itself, because there are things I'm wishing you to do to me. I'm all yours, Fitz." She leaned in, kissed his forehead, his cheek, his ear, his neck, and rested on his chest. Her hand rested on his back, as did his on hers, and he kissed the top of her head, as they lay face to face again.

He reached over her and took a condom packet out. He twirled it in his fingers, looking at it then looking at her. "The same box, huh?" He smirked.

Liv looked over his shoulder. "It's 8:00, we have until 11:00 tomorrow, so I'm glad we have two boxes. Now what has you so hesitant?"

Fitz squinted at her, kissing her nose gently. "I just want to look at you, touch every part of you, and when you do climax, I want it to be never ending, one you never forget."

Her breath went deep now, and she pulled him into a moaning kiss. "God, Fitz, please." Her hand went down, and before he covered it with the condom, she gave his hardened erection a rub down with her hand. Her head went back with her eyes closed. "Do tell me what is on that wish list."

Fitz leaned his head over her ear. "I'm going to begin kissing you on your stomach, Livvie, and work my way up to your breasts. Because it's the giving season, each breast will get the same amount of attention, and by the time I'm done with them both, I'm going to have you weak as my lips land on your neck. As I'm sucking on your neck, maybe leaving a small love bite, I'm going to put the condom on. You will feel me in you, as my lips connect with yours, and that's when I will move to be deep inside you."

Liv's legs began to move, bending up then down, she was feeling her wetness, and the movement only gave more a need for him. All she could do was nod her head to his words that were making her tremble.

"I'm going to be sure you climax twice, once when I'm on top, and once when you're on top. Then, when I'm sure you have no more to give, I'll fill the condom, Livvie, clean up, and hold you gently in my arms. Would you like that? We'll need rest before the second go round."

All Liv could do was moan, she was grasping, for dear life, his two biceps with her hands, rubbing up and down. His head went slowly down, and her hands moved to his shoulders. She saw the glow of the blinking lights on the ceiling as his lips kissed either side of her stomach and she arched up.

As promised, he made his way up to her breasts, her hands on his shoulder blades now and his mouth cupping her left breast. She felt his tongue on her nipple, then he stopped and did the exact same thing to her other breast, leaving her in a state of weakness she's never felt before. Her body was just rubber.

Feeling the warmth of his lips now on her neck, she tilted it in the direction he was sucking, and she felt his movement and the ripping of the condom packet. Without missing a beat, his tongue parted her lips, and with a swift thrust, she moaned out loud.

He had entered her, and he was now looking down at her, beads of sweat on his forehead, and he smiled. He slowly began to break her in, pushing in, pulling out, pushing in, and pulling out. Her hands resting now on his hips and her legs wrapped firmly around him.

Bringing his head back down, he kissed her again, and Liv lost all control, resting her forehead now on his shoulder as she ripped her mouth from the kiss, and her body was being thrusted as she climaxed, long, hard, and explosive. "Dear God." She whispered as it felt like her soul left her body momentarily.

Fitz, keeping his word, rolled her around, and she was weakly on top of him. He watched as she was breathing rapidly, then the breaths became shallow. Her eyes opened slowly and she caught the lusty gray of his just watching her. His arms were tightly around her waist, his rock hard dick still inside her, and she smiled softly.

"You good, Livvie?" She nodded, devouring his lips and cupping his face with both her hands for leverage. She began to move her hips, feeling him getting harder, if that was possible, inside of her.

His hips, thrusting up now, his hands grasping her ass, so he wouldn't slip out. Her head was thrown back, exposing her breasts, and Fitz had one in his mouth, as he continued to penetrate into her.

With a deep, weak breath, her head fell forward, and Fitz felt her legs go straight, and he put his lips back on her neck, as he filled the condom, and breathed deeply as his climax hit.

He was back in a flash, she didn't even know he was gone, and he pulled her into his arms, both completely naked, no covers, and Liv couldn't believe how weak she was. She closed her eyes, while making circles with her finger on his chest, wrapped securely in his arms, just like he said, her body still shivering.

"If anyone would have told me three weeks ago I would be lying in your arms, so in love with you, my body on fire, I think I would have had a good laugh. I really thought I was done with relationships for a while." Liv closed her eyes, continuing to make small circles on his chest.

"I think we have a tiny soon to be three year old to thank for this. Her father is just as in love Livvie, and we have her to thank." He kissed her gently while rubbing her shoulder.

"She's stayed with Tiffany and Lauren before?"

Fitz nodded. "Yeah, Tiffany is great with her. She'll keep her busy. Noelle does activities with Tiffany she usually wouldn't do with me. Arts and crafts, playgrounds, indoor gym areas, unicorns, all the things I have zero patience for. She'll be fine. We're going to facetime in the morning."

"I miss her squeaky voice." Liv gave a sighing laugh. "She's so observant, too."

"That she is. I just hope she doesn't jump out of the bathtub at Lauren's and cause a flood through her house." Fitz laughed.

Then with the blinking of the small Christmas tree lights, Fitz pulled Liv closer to his body, as they rested for what would be a few minutes, before Fitz asked Liv about a wish list she wanted to do to him.

"Tiffany, Tiffany, can I use the pink paint?" Noelle's little hands were painted just a bit more than the paper in front of her. She looked down at the painting while Tiffany took out the jar of pink paint.

"Sure can, Noelle, what's going to be pink on that new work of art?"

Noelle, being just shy of three had mainly drawn shapes on the paper she handed to Tiffany. There were three circles, big, small, medium to represent the heads. Inside the circles, the same size triangle nose and square eyes, with dots in the middle.

Each circle had two lines coming out of what would be the neck and tiny circles on the bottom of the lines. They were three people, the way Noelle could draw them. She had drawn a rainbow, crooked but the right colors behing them.

"What's this Noelle?"

"Daddy" Noelle pointed to the big circle. "Me" Noelle pointed to the small circle in the middle. "Ovivia" Noelle pointed to the medium circle. She smiled, "my family now."

"That's great Noelle. It's beautiful. Let's try this now." Tiffany poured the pink paint.

Tiffany was trying something different with her tonight, fingerprint art. This is why her hands were a painted mess, but Noelle was making the cutest pictures.

"I want to make a pink tree." Noelle said proudly. She nodded like her words were correct, "for Ovivia."

"A pink tree for Olivia? Like a tree, or a Christmas tree?" Tiffany wanted to be certain.

"Oh a Christmas tree, she's my Christmas surprise." Noelle smiled watching Tiffany get the paint.

"Why don't we start a new project then for Olivia instead of painting it on the reindeer you made for dad?" Tiffany pulled out a new sheet of paper.

Using the towel Tiffany gave her to wipe the paint off her hands, Noelle began rubbing each finger. She tilted her head at her thumb. "I love Ovivia."

"You had a nice weekend up at the Inn?" Tiffany was guiding Noelle's thumb prints now to make the shape of a tree on the paper.

Noelle nodded. "Ovivia helped me understand mommy, like you did." Noelle was watching her tree form with her prints.

"And we went tubing. We knocked daddy down." Noelle giggled remembering. "Daddy kissed Ovivia." She covered her mouth giggling again, leaving a little pink paint above her lip.

Tiffany smiled. She was happy Fitz found someone he could be happy with. He always seemed so guilt ridden having Noelle with no family. Olivia, from Noelle's stories, sounded like the perfect match for Fitz. For Noelle to grow an attachment to her in such a short time, she must be special.

Tiffany remembered having to work for Noelle's trust and love. It wasn't something this little girl gave away too easily; Fitz always had his guard up and it was something Noelle modeled. To hear her speak so highly of Olivia, Tiffany knew this was a unique love.

"How's that?" Tiffany pushed the paper back a little.

Noelle gave a small clap. "Ovivia will love it."

"Of course she will. Ready for….." And knowing her little friend, she locked her in her arms before she finished. "Your bath." And she ran with Noelle to the bathroom as Noelle pleaded for help, Tiffany laughing the whole way. She really did have a knack for dramatics.

Olivia blinked with her head snuggled on his chest. Taking a deep breath she said "I wouldn't have any kind of decorations if it wasn't for you and Noelle. You brought something back in me I thought was gone for good, my love for Christmas."

"You deserve everything happy, Livvie. I'm glad you were so open to accepting it all."

"How could I not, your charming smile, that gorgeous face." She looked up at him.

"Mmmm." He moaned. "Livvie, it's your turn." Fitz let her go and they were laying facing one another again.

Her eyebrows down in confusion. "My turn for what?"

Fitz used his hand to go up and down in the air above his body. "What's your Christmas wish for my body?"

"Mr. Grant, are you asking me to talk dirty to you?" Liv squinted.

"That's exactly what I'm asking." His smile, so clear, so everything.

Liv licked her lips softly. "Ok, I'll play." Although she felt herself getting wet down there before she could even speak. This wasn't going to be easy. This man did things to her.

His eyebrows went up, waiting. He took one of her hands. "You can start here if you like." He placed it on his stomach, his abs so perfect to the touch.

"Oh, I'll start there, but not with my hand. I'll start with my mouth, but unlike you, going up, I'm heading down." Her hand went just to the top slightly touching his hardening dick.

"I'll kiss my way down until about here, and I'll pause, and let my tongue take over, not my lips. Once I have it fully in my mouth, you'll feel the sensation of my warm lips going up and down." Liv began breathing heavy. "Then, I'll go down further, and kiss them," her hand now caressing his balls, "massaging them with my lips, then I'll work my way back up." She could feel herself start to sweat, she didn't know if she could continue this.

She moved closer to his body now. His eyes were closed, his mouth slightly open as her lips brushed against his ear and she began to whisper. "Heading up, using only my lips, I'll get to your chest, taking each nipple of yours between my teeth." She stopped to wet her lips and give her mouth a rest.

Reaching over now, she grabbed a condom packet. She put the corner down on his chest and tapped up and down. "If I'm lucky, you won't even feel my fingers roll this down, then when it's securely on." She paused took a hard swallow and continued, "I'm going to line up right above and slowly bring you deep into me." Then she moaned.

He smiled, turning his head towards her cheek. "You're turning yourself on Livvie, aren't you."

Her eyes closed tight, nodding her head, and she didn't even realize her hand without the condom was massaging the top of her clit.

Fitz moved her hand gently, "let me do that." And when his fingers overtook hers, her body stiffened. Her breathing stopped momentarily and she placed her hand above his, as her own words and his touch brought herself to an early orgasm.

"I hope this doesn't mess up the wish list." His baritone voice whispered in her ear, using his tongue to circulate around her soft lobe.

"God, no, makes me want you more." She began kissing his abs, as promised, and worked her way down, still holding the condom packet, slightly torn open now. Fitz's hands lay gently on her shoulder tops as her tongue gently caressed his straight up erection now, and Fitz's body took a soft breath feeling the moisture her tongue was leaving on him.

Before he realized, her mouth completely covered him and it was the single best feeling he had felt in forever. "Dear God, Livvie." His hand rested at the base of her neck, as she slowly, as stated, went up and down. She stopped, giving him a brief smile, and worked her way down.

His body felt a sensation when her mouth, her saliva overtook his balls, and his stomach went down as he moaned a loud moan he wasn't expecting. Her eyes looking at him with such seduction, she bypassed his erection now and began kissing up to his chest.

Her teeth gripped his small nipple, she gave it a lick and tiny bite, then went to the other one, slipping the condom out of the packet now, and taking it into her one hand.

She moved to his side, gliding her tongue up his smoothness from the top of his ass, feeling the muscles, and working her way up, leaving the condom on the tip of his dick.

Her leg went across his body to the other side, and she slid the condom down as her other hand cupped his chin, and devoured his lips to hers. She felt the condom tightly on, and she slipped herself on to him and his eyes opened, grabbing her hips, as he felt himself deep within her.

Her mouth opened in weakness, and her head went back, then forward again, wanting their lips to be connected when she climaxed. Her hips moving rapidly now, her elbows giving her support, her lips fell onto to his, as she gasped into his mouth.

His arms wrapped around her again, she felt his grip loosen as they moaned together in unison, both hitting their climax at the same time. Liv's head fell and she comforted it in the middle of his chest.

Fitz reached over to the tissue box, used a few tissues to free himself from the condom and wrapped it up in the tissue, not moving Olivia, letting her head rest right where it was.

As she was spent, her body exhausted, she heard him say as he was drifting also, "I never felt a love like this Olivia Pope."

In the glowing blinking, colorful Christmas lights, the clock read 1130. Liv's head was resting on Fitz's chest, her hands on either side of him, she slept on the beautiful body of the man she fell so deeply in love with this holiday season. Her wish for being held, comforted, and feeling her body loved coming true, she went off to dream for a few short hours.

Fitz's big, gentle hands were resting on her back, his head turned to the side, sleep overtaking his body. It was a peaceful sleep; one he's hadn't had in years. His breathing shallow, Liv's body gently moving with the slow rhythm of his breathing which was comforting her. His heart was full again, having filled a void he thought would remain empty. He saw the colors blinking and he followed that calmness into his dream about his future with Noelle and Olivia, his two greatest loves.

Noelle, the reason her daddy and Olivia met in the first place, was soundly sleeping in Tiffany's bed. Tiffany was on her air mattress next to her bed. It had taken longer than usual to get Noelle to sleep. Tiffany had a day planned with Noelle and Lauren.

It would be a day filled with rainbows and unicorns, all for her birthday surprises. Fitz had been so good to her mom, so good to her, and the least Tiffany could do was make Noelle's early birthday a bit special. Tiffany watched as Noelle gripped UNI now and after a half hour of talking, she finally fell asleep.

Tiffany was looking forward to the facetime call with Fitz. Noelle would try to pry out of him everything Tiffany had planned. Fitz didn't know for certain, but it would be fun to watch the two of them interact.

As Tiffany drifted to her slumber, she would never know how her little gift to Noelle, taking her for the two nights would bring more together a forming love. Because of Tiffany, because of her kindness and love for Noelle, Noelle's once lonely daddy could now be with the woman he would love for the rest of his life.

"Your daddy always says Christmas is filled with surprises." Tiffany whispered as she fell asleep. "Hopefully daddy's surprise is finding love."

Fitz squirmed a bit, feeling Liv's body on him. He felt her breathing, the rhythm up and down, not a movement from her besides that. He firmed his grip around her, wanting her to know he would always have her. This feeling was like no other.

Liv's cheek was resting on Fitz's chest. Her arms were wrapped around him, like she wouldn't let him go. She must have sensed him thinking about her because she moved her head around, wiggled her nose into his chest, and gave his chest a soft gentle kiss.

She looked up at him to see him looking at her. "Hi" he said.

"Hi" she said back smiling. She looked over at the clock, reading 1 am.

Finally giving his body some breathing room, she moved next to him and rested her hands under her cheek. She just stared at him.

"What was your greatest, or most memorable Christmas or Christmas gift Fitz. I mean you are so giving, so generous, what inspired you?"

Fitz thought for a second. "Aside from Noelle being born, ironically at Christmas time, a sketch book my father gave me. I drew something and he used it as a logo for his store sign."

"I didn't know you were an artist amongst your many other talents." Liv took one of her hands now and rubbed down his cheek.

Interlocking his hand with hers, he said "I'm not really. I was just a kid, the sketch book was the only thing he could afford at the time. He was just getting back on his feet. We had the smallest Christmas Tree. The only think different from it being a Charlie Brown Christmas tree was it had green branches, not sticks."

"Having nothing humbled you?"

Nodding his head, he continued "It did. I was just scribbling really, using the only gift I had received. I figured I would draw a picture for my dad and it would be his gift." Fitz shrugged.

"What did the logo look like?"

"It really wasn't much to look at, but my dad thought it was the greatest thing. It was a capital F and G next to one another. An arrow came up through the F and out pointing up out of the G. I told him we can only go up from here."

Liv was blinking back tears. "He used it on his hanging sign."

"Yeah, his hanging sign and he had me paint it in his window. That store kept us going for many years. He was a hard working man, my dad, I will never take for granted how much money I have."

Liv couldn't help it. She took a deep breath and cupped his cheek, kissing him softly on his lips. "And that's being handed down to Noelle." Liv smiled.

"Hopefully UNI was able to get Noelle into a nice sleep for Tiffany, I know they have quite a day planned for her tomorrow."

"Unicorns and rainbows galore?" Liv asked.

"I'm sure." Fitz looked around the room. "Did you add a room with the renovations? I was going to get this place, but someone had it taken already. I thought it only had two bedrooms, looks bigger though."

"That's just it." Liv sat up now in the bed. "I put an extra bedroom, an extra full bathroom, and expanded the balcony. I just wasn't thinking straight. I should've taken the one bedroom and left it at that on the fifth floor."

Fitz leaned up, kissing her bare back. "I think it's perfect."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Want to go see one of the bathrooms before we eat? I hear the shower works well, nice stream of rough water." She turned and kissed his lips as he held her in place while the both stood up.

"Lead the way, Ms. Pope."

Liv pulled his hand, walking towards the brand new bathroom. Wait until he sees what surprises she had awaiting for him in there.

The night was still young, and the season of giving in full effect. They stepped into the newly renovated bathroom, and much like their love, it was fresh, clean, and ready to comfort them in warmth on this cold December night.