Chapter 18 - Understandings

DISCLAIMER: We (unfortunately) do not own Star Wars. :P

Author's Note: In which Ahsoka talks to Rex, and Obi-Wan speaks with the Council. :')

~ Amina Gila

Ahsoka attends the official briefing after Vader and his retinue have left. Not that there's much to report, but still. Following procedure and protocol is important. Windu is absent, having gone to the Halls of Healing to have a prosthetic fit for his missing hand. Ahsoka might be… neutral regarding him, but she's still horrified that Anakin was the one to cut off the Jedi Master's hand. How could he do that?!

From what Obi-Wan reported, Anakin used Force lightning on him when he was on the verge of killing Vader. She wishes they had. They would be that much closer to ending everything if Vader was dead now, instead of ruling the galaxy as Emperor. And maybe they could have successfully brought Anakin back where he belongs.

She both does and doesn't regret fighting Anakin at the Citadel. Seeing him there as a Sith, with a red lightsaber, it affected her deeply, far more than she wants to let on, even to herself. It's wrong. Anakin wasn't supposed to Fall. He was supposed to be the hero, the Chosen One, the one everyone could rely on when times get rough. And she misses him. She misses his cheerfulness, his attitude, his energy, his determination, his faith, his everything. He was the only one who could lift her spirits when everything seemed impossible and hopeless.

If Anakin was here, helping them instead of supporting Vader, he would probably make a stupid joke about how they'll kill Vader before he even knows what's hit him, and it would make her feel better, even if she knows it's not that easy. It would lift her spirits, if only for a moment, helping her escape the grim reality that is their world. Obi-Wan isn't like that; he's never been like that. He cares about her, of course, but he's… distant. He's like most Jedi are. He cares, obviously, but not like Anakin. No Jedi is like Anakin.

Why did he have to do this? Why did he have to betray them? And most of all, what has Vader been telling him? Why does he seem to think that Obi-Wan is the enemy? Ahsoka is no stranger to Anakin and Obi-Wan fighting, but it's never been like this before. It's never been so bitter, so cutting. Their worst arguments result in them ignoring each other for some hours before seeming to mutually and silently decide to put the disagreement behind them and move on.

Not this time, though. This time, there will be no moving on, no smoothing things over and acting perfectly normal by the next day.

All because of Vader.

He came, and he took Anakin's loyalty. No one understands how. Not Obi-Wan, and certainly not Ahsoka. Anakin never seemed like the kind of person who would betray them, but he has, and Ahsoka wants answers. She wants to storm into the Senate and scream at the "Emperor" for what he's done. She wants to yell at Anakin and ask how he could do this to her, to all of them. She can't do that though, because – because… well, because Vader's a Sith. He's dangerous. He could hurt her if she challenges him.

(And maybe there's a small part of her that is too scared to hear the answers.)

Her emotions feel jumbled, chaotic. She's feeling so many things that she doesn't even know what she feels anymore. More than anything, she wishes that she had someone who she could talk to. Obi-Wan is busy in a Council meeting, and she doesn't have any other close friends in whom she can confide. Her master would probably tell her to mediate it away or something. Not Anakin though. He always encouraged her to come and talk to him. She would like to… if he wasn't the primary cause of half of her conflict.

So, not him then, obviously, but… the clones? She hasn't talked to any of them since they returned, and she saw Rex and a few others from the 501st shadowing Vader and Anakin when they were on the landing platform. Rex might be willing to talk to her, and he might also be able to give her some sort of insight into why Anakin is acting as he is. She knows that the two are close, and if there's anyone Anakin has talked to, it would be Rex.

Also, Obi-Wan never forbid her from leaving the Temple, so she might as well make the most of it while she has the chance. Who knows how things will change and who knows when – or if – she'll be able to leave once the Council reaches its decision?

She pulls out her comm, dialing Rex's frequency and hoping that he won't ignore her. He answers right when she thinks he will. "Commander?" he says, sounding surprised, his words slurring just the slightest amount.

She frowns, wondering if he and the other boys were out drinking together. It sends a pang of something like resentment through her. How is it fair for them to be able to celebrate while the Jedi are practically in a state of mourning? "Where are you?" she asks, chewing on her lip. For all that she wants to talk to him, she doesn't know if she's ready to go to the Senate and spend time in a place where Vader or Anakin could easily run into her.

"In the barracks," Rex answers. "A few of us were out. Drinking. The war is over."

Right. She feels a twinge of regret, because, of course, they would be celebrating. The end of the war means the end of having to mourn their brothers dying. She can't begrudge them that, but it still doesn't seem fair. "Can I come over? I… I want to talk to you."

She hears Rex moving around. "Of course," he agrees readily. "You're always welcome here."

Ahsoka ends the connection and takes a speeder to the barracks before she gets stopped. Not that she thinks she would be, but it's still a possibility. She's not doing anything wrong, so why does it feel like she is? Rex isn't the enemy. He's her friend. (He's also supporting and protecting Anakin and Vader.) Well, naturally. He's a soldier, and he follows orders. That doesn't mean he likes it though, right?

She shakes her head a little to dispel the thought. She can't lie to herself. Not about this. Rex is loyal to Anakin above everyone. He would do it even if he wasn't ordered to. Force, why does everything have to be such a mess? Everything was okay until Vader showed up – well, maybe not okay, if Palpatine was really Sidious, but still – and he ruined whatever sense of stability and family Ahsoka had managed to create. She can't forgive him for that.

Rex is waiting outside when she gets there, and he gestures for her to follow him to a smaller lounge room for officers which is mostly empty. They take seats on a corner couch, side-by-side, and for the briefest moment, Ahsoka thinks that being here is so surreal. So much has changed over the past couple weeks that it feels as if the galaxy might upend itself again. Sometimes, it feels like she's living in a nightmare.

"How are you?" Rex queries gently, breaking the silence that descends.

"Been better," she mutters. "None of this makes any sense to me. I don't understand how Anakin could have done something like this!" The more she talks, the more her confusion and uncertainty and betrayal pour out. "He betrayed the Republic, and everything we've fought for, everything he taught me. I don't – does he really expect me to simply go along with him? Or to not be upset at him? I can't do that. I'm a Jedi. He taught me better than that. I'll never side with a Sith. Never! It's our duty to destroy them."

Rex's emotions do something complicated, but she can't quite figure out what it means. He feels… resigned, worried, and a bit apprehensive all at once. "The General knows what he's doing," he answers firmly. "He wouldn't do this if he didn't have a reason. I trust him." The 'you should too' goes unsaid, but it still hangs heavily between them.

"The Dark Side isn't something people can dabble with," Ahsoka retorts. "It's dangerous. It corrupts people, destroys whatever goodness is inside them. I don't want that to happen to Anakin. I don't want him to be corrupted by Vader more than he already has been."

A strange look passes over Rex's face, and all at once, Ahsoka realizes. "You know," she whispers with growing horror and dread and betrayal. "You know why Anakin is supporting Vader, don't you." It's not a question.

"The Emperor is not corrupting Anakin," Rex says in lieu of reply. He lays a hand on her shoulder. "It's not my place to tell you anything; you need to talk to him, to both of them. And you'll need to keep an open mind. I know the Jedi look down on Sith, but you might find that the Jedi aren't always right about everything."

Ahsoka jerks back, stung. "How can you say that?" she demands, feeling hurt. "The Council is – they do the right thing! They're not wrong about the Sith. They can't be. The Sith are the ones who started the whole war. They're the ones responsible for so many of your brothers dying. Why would you support them?"

Rex's brown eyes harden. "I don't," he answers, voice just as patient as it was in the beginning, through she can sense that he seems miffed at her words. "I would never do that. I support Vader, though. He cares about us clones. You can't judge all Sith as the same. Vader has never shown any inclinations towards following the same corrupt path that Palpatine or Dooku did. He's been repairing the galaxy and the damage that his… predecessors have caused."

"He's deceiving you," Ahsoka argues, dismayed. "He's a Sith. He's evil."

"He's not evil," Rex denies, a hint of ice slipping into his voice. He's not angry at her though. He sighs heavily. "Little one, I know the Jedi have always told you that, but that's generalizing. It's unfair both to the Sith and to you to assume that they're all the same. Use your instincts. Follow what the General has taught you. Ignore any preconceived notions. It never hurts to be cautious and alert, but it's wrong to automatically assume that someone is exactly the same as someone else from the same group. I wouldn't say that about the Jedi, so you shouldn't say that about the Sith, either."

Ahsoka scowls, knowing that he has a point. She can't argue with him, though, and he would never willfully lead her astray. It's something that she'll have to think and meditate about. If it was Anakin who was telling her this, she might be more inclined to believe him. Maybe. But now? After what he's done? She doesn't know if she can trust anything he says ever again.

"I don't want things to be like this," she whispers, voice breaking. "I wish Vader was gone, dead, something. I don't want him to take Anakin away from us."

Rex wraps an arm around her shoulders, holding her comfortingly, offering her support in the face of the ugly truth of her feelings. "He didn't." His voice is just as quiet and soft. "You can still choose. You can choose to go back to the General anytime you want. Vader didn't change your relationship with him. He didn't change my relationship with him, either. That – that was all you."

She flinches. That can't be true. It isn't true. Vader took Anakin from her. Him. She didn't decide to let Anakin leave. She didn't decide to leave Anakin because of what he did. But as she thinks about it, really thinks about it, she can't help but remember what Anakin said to her when they were still on Mortis.

"I don't need you to trust him. I just need you to trust me –"

"This is a terrible idea, Skyguy. The Sith started the war, so it's unlikely they'd want to end it."

"You're generalizing. Just because the two main Sith are trying to destroy the galaxy, that doesn't mean that a different Sith will agree with them."

Maybe Rex has a point, but can she really trust what Anakin said to her then, on Mortis, when he was already under Vader's sway? Ahsoka doesn't know, and she has no one who can give her answers, not even Obi-Wan.

**w**

"We have no choice but to agree," Plo points out, his hologram flickering. "Vader won't bargain with us. He won't agree to give us more time. At some point, we'll have to capitulate anyways; why not now? I don't like the idea of agreeing with the Sith's demands anymore than any of you do, we I do not think we have a choice anymore."

Obi-Wan agrees. He, too, loathes the thought of agreeing to what Vader is demanding, but do they even have a choice? What else can they do? None of them wants to test the now-Emperor to see what he'll do if they refuse to cede to his demands.

"In agreement we are," Yoda decides. "Contact the Emperor we must, to convey to him our agreement with his demands."

It feels like admitting to defeat, and Obi-Wan hates that. It would be so much easier if Anakin was here. Things always work out best when they work together; he's known that from the start of the Clone Wars, from the incident on Cato Neimoidia, even if Anakin did not rescue him then, contrary to whatever the younger man might say.

Windu's comm blinks with a text message, and he looks down at it, a brief flare of surprise echoing into the Force for a moment. "Vader has just made a broadcast," he reports. "He is giving the clones' citizenship, and he's revealing that they were fitted with an inhibitor chip that can take away their free will when activated. The chips are to be deactivated or surgically removed as soon as possible in the entire army."

There's a lull of shocked silence in the wake of that announcement, and Obi-Wan scrambles to figure out what Vader is up to. Why would he do this? What does he have to gain by doing things so openly in favor of the clones? Or, a small voice whispers, is this proof of Anakin's influence? He banishes the thought almost as soon as it comes. The only thing he can think of is if Vader is trying to buy the loyalty of the clones. But something about that doesn't seem quite right. If he can use the inhibitor chips – which he must have, given how easily he took Coruscant – why would he now expose them? Why not continue to use them?

"I think it is clear to all of us that Vader is a threat we cannot allow to continue," Mundi declares with finality. "Even if we pay him lip-service, it is imperative that we find a way to eliminate him. With Vader gone, Skywalker will be an easy threat to neutralize."

"Or he'll become an even more dangerous one," Rancisis counters quietly. "Without his… mentor, he'll become unhinged. He'll lose whatever ability he has to control himself."

Obi-Wan feels his heart pounding faster than it should be, and he slowly inhales, trying to dispel the dread and wrongness threatening to overrun him. Talking about Anakin like this, analyzing how big of a threat he is, and will be, seems… wrong. It makes him sick, and yet, he knows that it must be done. Anakin chose this, and they, in turn, must choose to do what is best for the galaxy. But Force help him, it hurts.

"Does anyone believe that Vader is really Anakin's father?" Obi-Wan asks, voicing the question that has been haunting his mind since he heard the allegation.

"No reason to disbelieve it we have," Yoda answers.

"Skywalker's loyalty to Vader would seem to indicate that it is true," Windu adds.

"I… cannot disagree," he admits. "Anakin does not trust people easily. I cannot think of any other reason for why he would have jumped to Vader's side in such a short period of time." He pauses to marshal his thoughts. "Furthermore, I have questions about Vader's strength if he is, in fact, Anakin's father. When we fought him at the Citadel, I don't think he was even trying to defeat us. If not for… well, I don't know what happened to him, but if not for that, I would have been defeated, maybe even killed."

And the worst part is that Obi-Wan doesn't know, can't say with certainty, that Anakin would have stopped it. He would like to think so, but he also used to think that Anakin would never betray him, that he would never become and join a Sith.

"It is possible that Vader's strength in the Force matches Anakin's," he continues, trying to focus on the cold, clinical facts and disregard whatever feelings he might have about the situation. "If that's true, it may be extremely hard for us to defeat either of them alone, not to mention if they're together."

"We must destroy Vader," Mundi states with conviction, "By whatever means are necessary."

There's a pause in the Council chambers. "Are you suggesting an assassination?" Plo inquires, seeming torn between incredulity and wariness.

"He's a threat to the galaxy," Mundi replies. "Do you have an objection to it?"

"I think we need to be careful about what we discuss," Shaak Ti cautions. "I don't think any of us would disagree that Vader needs to be taken out, but saying it so openly…"

"He's a Sith," Rancisis interjects. "He wouldn't hesitate to destroy us by whatever means are necessary, no matter how distasteful. Why should we hesitate to do the same to him?"

"Because we're Jedi," Obi-Wan points out. "I'm not saying I disagree, but whatever moves we take from here onwards will result in a betrayal of our long-held principles."

"The war itself was a betrayal of what we stood for," Windu reminds them.

"Be careful we must be if down this line of thought we go," Yoda warns. "To dangerous places it could take us."

The Grandmaster's words hang in the air for a long moment before Obi-Wan breaks the silence. "Even if we do seriously consider planning Vader's assassination, how would we go about doing so? And how could we do it in such a way that it doesn't trace back to us?"

Those, he realizes, are the million credit questions. He has no qualms with sacrificing himself to destroy Vader once and for all, but he doesn't want to undertake such actions if it results in the destruction of the Order as they know it. Facing the death and destruction as a result of an operation gone wrong… would he want that on his conscience? It's something that they will all need to seriously consider. This is not something they can plan in merely one meeting. Or even two. It will take much time and patience and strategizing to figure out something that is foolproof. And may the Force be with them all.

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