Chapter 26 - Scheming
Author's Note: Enjooooy the rising action. ;) And yes, there's still a lot of bonding, because half the plot is about how Vader heals. ^-^
To Plague: Your question about Obi-Wan will hopefully be somewhat answered in this chapter. :)
Thank you so much for reviewing! :D
~ Amina Gila
The Council chambers are quiet as the holorecording plays in the center of the room. Even when it ends, the silence remains. Obi-Wan doesn't ask how they got the footage; he doesn't even want to know, but he's grateful, because seeing this sparring match between Anakin and Vader shows… a lot. No matter that it raises more questions than it answers.
"His lightsaber is white," he finally notes aloud, frowning. "I thought that was impossible, that it should have been impossible if he has been lost to the Dark Side."
"Don't let your emotions cloud your judgment, Obi-Wan," Windu chides instantly, as Obi-Wan had expected him to. "We cannot assume that, just because Skywalker has somehow purified his kyber crystal – or had it done – that he is any less of a threat to the Order."
"I know that he can be dangerous," Obi-Wan returns coolly, feeling the familiar flicker of anger and resentment that always surfaces when they have to talk about or deal with anything pertaining to Anakin and Vader. Even now, so many weeks later, he cannot fully accept that Anakin betrayed (him) the Jedi for a Sith… even if said Sith is apparently his father.
"It's clear that Vader is just as skilled as Anakin in lightsaber combat, even more so, actually," Mundi points out, getting the conversation onto something more productive. "I think it's time that we consider what we will actually do about the Sith who is controlling the entire galaxy. We are Jedi. We cannot let this stand indefinitely."
"And now, we have something by which we can learn more about Vader's fighting style," Rancisis agrees, maybe a little too enthusiastically in Obi-Wan's opinion.
"Not indefinitely, perhaps," Plo concedes after a momentary silence, "But we must also consider what it is that Vader is doing, accomplishing. This is the first time in years that the galaxy has been so peaceful. The people support him. All over, the people are standing up in support of his reign. They are relieved to see an end to the war. If we act, we risk alienating them further."
And that, Obi-Wan knows is one of their biggest problems. For all that they must destroy the Sith and the danger they pose to the galaxy, if they are not careful, the public they are sworn to protect will turn on them, even with the Sith gone. If the public is calling for their destruction or worse, executions, what will that mean for the power that rises to assume Vader's place?
Nothing good.
Unless they plan to take control themselves, but how would that make them any better than Vader, killing the leader and taking control?
"I agree," he states, siding with Plo, and around the chambers, others are nodding in agreement as well. "But there are also many Jedi who are eager for us to act. They don't want us to sit by idly. There are… whispers among some radical Jedi that the Council is unwilling to do what must be done."
"I have heard it as well," Windu states, nodding. "It concerns me. I fear we might face another schism if we don't move with caution."
"Dark times these are," Yoda intervenes, speaking for the first time. "A danger Vader poses, but among the Jedi, a danger there is too. If splits the Order does, lose strength we will."
"Is there a way for us to use this to our advantage?" Mundi questions. "Could we possibly control the split?"
"You think it's inevitable," Shaak Ti notes.
"Don't you?" he returns. No one argues with that.
"Even if, theoretically, we were able to control the coming schism," Windu begins, "What, precisely, could we do with it?"
"It's a choice between Vader and us," Mundi states bluntly, looking around. The faces of the other Jedi Masters are grim, but this time, no one objects to the things he's voicing. Perhaps, Obi-Wan thinks, they are all becoming more settled with the state of the affairs and have had enough time to think about it to start considering their options.
"Is it?" Obi-Wan throws out, not because he disagrees, but because they need to consider this properly. "Vader has already said that he doesn't want to destroy us. He's giving us assignments in helping to clean up the galaxy, and I have noticed that our increasing presence in relief missions has actually improved our popularity among the former Separatist systems. It's helping us, more than hurting us. Vader has made no move against us. I do not like his rule any more than anyone here, but we must consider the facts."
"Obi-Wan is right," Plo replies, nodding. "Vader may be a Sith, but he has yet to act in a way to cause us harm."
"That he is a Sith is reason enough to destroy him," Mundi rebuffs. "It is only a matter of time. He is simply playing a long-term game, waiting for us to lower our defenses enough to strike. Worse, he may be waiting until the younger Jedi start supporting him while the radicals split apart. If we cannot do something soon, the Order may collapse from within without Vader having to raise a hand."
"Maybe that is what he's hoping for," Gallia offers. "Maybe not. Either way, I would say that the threat of a schism is far greater than the threat Vader may pose in the future."
"We cannot risk the Council being blamed for the actions of rogue Jedi," Fisto contributes, though it's unclear what he's trying to suggest – if anything.
"I concur." Windu's expression is grave, but it's thoughtful as well. "If the Order will split anyway, and if we can control those who split away, perhaps we can guide them when they inevitably go after the Sith. If we aid, their attempts may be successful, and the Order as a whole will not take the blame."
"That's risky," Obi-Wan points out, his traitorous heart pounding faster at the mere prospect of a fellow Jedi trying to assassinate Anakin. He quells those misplaced feelings of grief, focusing on the subject at hand. "Vader is clever, and if we do not succeed…"
"He may blame us anyway," Plo finishes.
"Master Yoda?" Windu queries, looking to the Grandmaster who has been almost entirely silent throughout the exchange. "What do you think?"
"Clouded the future is," Yoda answers at last. "Clouded is our future too. In danger the Order is, though know, I do not, whether from within or from outside. Care we must take if to survive the coming storm we are."
It's cryptic as always, not that Obi-Wan expected anything else. "What should we do?" At times like now, he doesn't feel much like a Council member. The responsibility is staggering and more than a little overwhelming. He doesn't know that he's ready for it, that he's ready for the difficult decisions which he will have to make.
"Meditate on this we must," Yoda answers. "Consult the Force I shall, to seek our path ahead."
That's what Obi-Wan was planning to do. These are difficult times, and there is no room for mistakes. But at the same time, he already fears that he knows what the decision will be. They will go with Windu's suggestion. Those radical Jedi who split away from the Order could become a threat to them as well. It might be callous, but it's best to destroy two birds with one stone. The Order must endure.
**w**
It might have been several days since Ahsoka spoke to both Anakin and Vader, but Anakin cannot get the conversation out of his mind. He hasn't spoken to Vader yet, about what he said, but that ends tonight. He had coaxed Vader to take extra time off so they can talk, and finally, the elder had agreed. Vader knows what Anakin wants to talk to him about, just as he must know that they need to have this conversation.
But first, as always, Anakin waits to talk until he's wrapped Vader in his arms once the armor has been stripped away.
"I wish that you could believe that you do not have to remain in the Dark if you do not wish to," Anakin murmurs finally, tightening his grip around Vader. He wishes that he could see the elder's face, see the emotions on it, but since that's not possible in their current position, he will have to rely on feeling him through the Force instead.
"I am not like you." Vader's voice sounds as tired as he feels in the Force. "I am not as Light. I have gone too far."
"Why are you so resistant to the idea of letting go of the Dark?" Anakin blurts out, without thinking, wincing right after he says it. He shouldn't have asked it like that, so untactfully.
"I deserve what I am experiencing," he replies after a few moments. "I deserve to feel the pain. I deserve the… reminder of what I have done, what I have chosen."
It hurts, especially when Anakin knows that Vader is wrong, even if he can't fully explain why or how. But – "Why?" he asks, desperate to know. "Why do you deserve it? What if… you don't?" What if you've always deserved better? he doesn't add, though he thinks the thought leaks over the bond from the way Vader stiffens. What if… you're a victim?
"I'm not –" Vader begins heatedly, nearly snarling.
"The question," Anakin reminds quietly, interrupting. He reinforces his shields to protect stray thoughts, though he doesn't know how much good it will do when their bond is getting so strong so quickly. But at least he can try.
Vader falls silent, his breathing rasping through the mask strapped around his face. His voice is weak, faint, when he finally answers. "I did. I did deserve it. If – Obi-Wan… was many things, but he was never cruel."
Bits of images flicker through Anakin's mind, both from the bond and from his own recollections of what he saw. The burning bite of the lightsaber as it cut through his three limbs. The words Obi-Wan threw at him, standing over him unmoving, unwilling to offer him help. The agony of the fire as it licked across his body, burning through skin and muscle, taking him to a point beyond pain itself.
Cruel, Anakin thinks, is an understatement to the sheer horror of what Mustafar was.
But at the same time, it feels like sacrilege to say that Obi-Wan was wrong. Because Obi-Wan has always been better, known better than him. Obi-Wan is a good Jedi, far better than Anakin has ever been. Anakin has always cared too much, been too attached. Not Obi-Wan. Never his master. And yet… And yet –
"What if he was?" Anakin finds himself asking. He cannot believe that Obi-Wan was right, but it feels so strange to say, with certainty, that his master was wrong. "What if Obi-Wan was wrong? Maybe – maybe he was doing what he thought was right, but what if he was wrong?"
Vader doesn't answer that, and Anakin wonders if he is even able, if he can even begin to understand in his own mind, what it would mean, if everything he has been through was for nothing. (If it was because Obi-Wan did not care enough to help him when he needed it most.) Even Anakin cannot imagine such a thing, for all that he knows Obi-Wan would put the Council and the Order above him. He knows that, and yet… he cannot imagine Obi-Wan refusing him help if he needed it.
He walked away, a voice reminds him harshly. He left Vader to suffer and die. He did not offer help then.
That is true.
Perhaps, it is just that he cannot accept it, that Obi-Wan is capable of such a horrific act.
But he knows it happened. Vader's body is proof of that.
"Obi-Wan is not perfect," Anakin manages to say, breathing in shakily. "He – I have always seen him as good, but what he did to you… I would not have even dreamed of doing that to – to Grievous." To Grievous, because Grievous was the mindless monster at Dooku's beck and call. For all that Anakin hated Dooku, Grievous was worse. Grievous was the monster, while Dooku was the puppeteer. And his feelings towards Palpatine, towards Sidious, are far too complex for him to ever unravel.
"He let things go too far, and he did not… help you when he should have," he continues, trying to put his thoughts into words, trying to make Vader understand. It is easier for him, as always, to see this, because he did not live through it. He did not live through Obi-Wan trying to kill him, maiming him, leaving him to die. Vader, he knows, is too emotionally involved. Of course, he is. Because if Obi-Wan was wrong, if he – if he did that, uncalled for, what does that mean for their relationship?
Dozens of moments, little things, pop into Anakin's mind, one after the other, moments where Obi-Wan castigated him harshly when he had expected to be praised for doing good, moments where Obi-Wan seemingly overlooked his achievements, expecting better. Always. He always expected more, expected Anakin to do better, be better; it felt hopeless, impossible, and he struggled under that burden, trying to understand how his master could expect him to stop trying so hard when it was so clearly what he wanted from him.
Was that… wrong? Was Obi-Wan wrong to be that way?
Shmi had – she was never like that, but she was his mother. Obi-Wan is so much more; their relationship is infinitely complicated, and not one that Anakin could ever truly put into words. He loves Obi-Wan like a father, because in Obi-Wan, he has always seen what he imagines a father would be like. He wants it, craves it, this connection to a parental figure that he was denied because of the circumstances of his birth,
Because of Vader, Anakin has seen how wrongly Padme has treated him, expecting him to do what she wants, not truly listening to his feelings or thoughts, no matter how much he tries to be heard. Eventually, he began to wonder if he was just overstepping, if he was just not his place to unburden himself on her – and why should it be? He is… lesser. He has always been lesser, and she is important, a Senator, who has more important things to do than listen to his complaints.
Obi-Wan has always treated him much the same, worse even, and it grates on him. Anakin has always wanted to be seen, to be heard, and… he doesn't know what he does wrong, that no one ever seems to want to hear him. Except Palpatine. He had, but it had all been a lie, and –
And then there is Vader. Vader who has always listened to him, heard him. Anakin has tried to grant that on him as well, knowing how much the elder has struggled as he had. He thought it was normal, to be treated the way Obi-Wan treated him, but what if it's not? He knows, of course, that Obi-Wan has never meant to hurt him – he has always had Anakin's best interests in mind – but that doesn't mean that he didn't hurt him, or that he was right for doing so.
"I was an enemy," Vader answers woodenly. "He had no reason to help me."
"That's not the Jedi way, though, is it?"
"I do not – what are you saying?" He sounds confused, unsurprisingly, and Anakin tightens his grip on him, wishing that he could do something to ease his pain, both physical and emotional.
"What Obi-Wan did to you, it was wrong," Anakin states bluntly. This much he is certain about. There is no doubt in his mind on this regard. "And I don't expect you will be able to accept it immediately, or even easily, but… I am certain."
"I – I need to… think about it," Vader manages finally. "Can we… remain here?"
There's a thinly veiled desperation in his words, and in the Force. Normally, Anakin would never agree, because Vader needs the bacta treatments to heal, but now… "Yes," he answers, "Just this once." He knows Vader needs this just as much. He is struggling, and maybe Anakin can't help him understand this anymore than he already has, but he can at least give Vader a solid, steady support while he thinks it through for himself.
And he would be lying if he said he didn't need this, too. He feels raw, exposed, as everything he ever thought he knew has been brought into question. This isn't even about his understanding of the Force; this is about him and Obi-Wan. They were always the Team. They were a force to be reckoned with, an unstoppable one. How did it all go so wrong? How did they get… here, from where they once were?
He feels a sense of emptiness, no matter how much he tries to quell it, a part of his soul crying out for Obi-Wan's familiar touch. Having Ahsoka back has been… amazing. Better than amazing. It's been one of things he's wanted so badly. Having her here, with him, means that he no longer needs to agonize over how she's doing, because he can just ask her.
But Obi-Wan –
Anakin doesn't think anything he can do will be able to mend what's been broken between them. He burned the bridge, albeit unintentionally, and wishing cannot restore it. He cannot help but worry over Obi-Wan, no matter how much his former master would be upset by it. So many things were wrong between them, and he's only just now beginning to realize exactly how wrong. He doesn't know if he can fix it – it's not all his doing, not by a long-shot, and while he's more than willing to forgive Obi-Wan for everything he has ever done to hurt him, Obi-Wan will have to… change. He will have to stop doing it.
And maybe that will be asking too much of him, especially after what Anakin has done. Obi-Wan, he knows, sees it as a betrayal, and really it is. But he had no other feasible option which he could take, and as much as it hurts sometimes, Anakin doesn't regret it either. Vader is worth it. Vader is worth everything.
Originally, he had been supposed to meet up with Ahsoka and Omega for the latter's lessons in learning how to tap into the Force and use it. But Omega will understand if he doesn't show up, and Ahsoka can handle it on her own. Right now, Vader needs him, so he will stay. He can deal with everything else in the morning.
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