Chapter 32 - Meeting

Author's Note: So, since I've been getting quite a few "please update this" requests, I'mma just try and remember to say when I'll be updating next, so you know. We follow a pretty strict releasing schedule, and waiting is easier when you know when you're waiting for, right? :)

Next update: June 29th (I hope) (Edit: July 13th)

To Plague: No, it doesn't. ;)

~ Amina Gila

Anakin can't help but notice Vader's agitation as he prepares to leave for his meeting with Padme. "I'll be fine," he says again, for what feels like the hundredth time. In actuality, he doesn't think he's said it more than a small handful of times, but when Vader's on edge, he's on edge, and he very, very badly just wants this meeting to go well. He wants to hope that everything will work out. He doesn't want to think badly of Padme.

And yet.

He hates that there even has to be an 'and yet', but there is. And yet, given her attitude of the past, and the way she's spoken about Vader, Anakin can't trust her or her intentions fully until he can assess the situation better, something which won't be easy. Probably, it'll take a long time, and he – he's not good with these mind games. He's not a politician. The idea that Padme, of all people, might be trying to deceive him makes him sick.

It was bad enough to confront Palpatine's true self, but Padme? She's always been so good, and she still is; she's just misguided. He doesn't know how to get through to her, if she's not being genuine, without possibly losing himself in the process.

Force, this is a mess.

He tries, desperately, to regrip his optimism and hope of earlier. Vader's fears and doubts are affecting him, he knows, but it's hard not to get stuck in a loop with him.

"I know," Vader says, though his doubts still remain in the back of Anakin's mind. He can feel them, the lingering cloud of unease. "It is –" He cuts off whatever he was about to say, starting over again. "Promise me, Anakin, that if – if she tries anything, if anyone tries anything, you will defend yourself no matter what."

He can feel how important it is to Vader that he agrees, though he doesn't fully understand why. "I promise," he answers firmly.

As he leaves the office, for the meeting spot outside in the Senate gardens, Anakin can't help but think about how little trust Vader has for Padme anymore. And perhaps, given what Vader revealed about his past, it's unsurprising. He'd told Anakin that there was a chance she'd betrayed him, though he didn't know if she did or not. Well, it isn't surprising he harbors no trust for her, after all of that.

Padme is dressed in a fancy Senate gown when Anakin arrives, three clones shadowing him, ready to protect him from anyone should he need it – it's more of a formality than anything else, but he still appreciates it immensely.

For a long, few moments, he and Padme stare at each other, taking each other in. Maybe it hasn't been that long, but it feels like everything has changed since they were last together, truly, just the two of them, before Vader. But then, Anakin supposes that he is a different person now. He feels... better. Less alone.

Padme's deep-green dress sparkles in some places as the sunlight catches it, and finally, she approaches him, stopping right in front of him. "Anakin," she greets, giving him a small smile. It doesn't quite reach her eyes, though, no matter how much Anakin can feel in the Force that she's glad to see him. "I'm glad you came."

He holds out an arm to her, letting her loop her arm through his as they walk further into the gardens. It's beautiful here, but nothing can compare to the Room of One Thousand Fountains at the Temple. There was a very real peace and Light there which Anakin has never found anywhere else on the planet. Strangely, or not, he misses the place. He misses being able to freely walk the halls of the Temple. Even if he never felt like he belonged there, the Temple was still the only place he had as a home for years.

"You said you wanted to understand," he offers uncertainly, awkwardly. He hates how it feels like he can't talk to her anymore. That's wrong. She's his wife. They ought to be able to confide in each other about anything, but then, has that ever fully been true? Maybe not. Probably not nearly as much as it should have been. He knows her as... a public figure. When he was a Padawan, he would look her up sometimes, just to see how she was doing, and – and he knows her better from the holonews than he does from spending time with her. That's... kind of weird, actually, now that he thinks about it.

"Yes," she answers, stopping in front of a stone bench, carved to look like a natural rock formation, sitting down. Anakin sits next to her instinctively, close enough that they're touching. He misses her. Fiercely. But he won't sacrifice himself or the rest of his family to get her back.

"I heard about Vader's announcement earlier this morning," she continues, "I was a little surprised by it. What does he hope to gain by pushing away the Jedi? I can't imagine they're very happy with this?"

"The Jedi... only see him as a threat," Anakin answers honestly, carefully choosing his words, mindful of the fact that she may be trying to get information out of him. Who is he trying to fool. Of course, she's trying to get information out of him. The question is what she wants to do with it. "He's a Sith, or he was, at any rate, and that is all that they will see him as. The Order has... It is not exactly in a good place. That's been true for years. I think maybe no one wanted to see how much it was... deteriorating."

"Deteriorating?" Padme echoes, frowning. "What do you mean?"

"The Jedi say that Sith are evil," Anakin explains, "To them, all Sith must be destroyed. But that's not fair to them. You would hardly say that... all Neimoidians are evil, for example, even if the Trade Federation hurt Naboo, right?"

She blinks, almost seeming surprised. "I – yes, of course," she replies. "You can't judge an entire species based on the actions of a few."

"The Sith aren't a species, but the idea is a same. They're... a religion, I guess," he tells her, "And the Jedi can't, and won't, see that some Sith might not be planning galactic domination and the destruction of everything for the sake of it."

Padme quirks an eyebrow. "He is the Emperor," she points out, as if Anakin could have forgotten that.

Okay, well, maybe he could have chosen his words a little better. "The Empire is... necessary," he says slowly. "Without it, what do you realistically expect would have happened to the Republic? It would have crumbled, Padme. There wouldn't have been anything left. If you thought the Clone Wars were bad? What do you think the galaxy would have looked like if all the systems in the Republic would start in-fighting?"

"You can't know that," she argues. "You're just guessing."

He shakes his head. "I'm being realistic. That's what happens when lawlessness and anarchy take over. I've – I have seen it so many times, on so many planets throughout the war. In some places, the damage caused by the fights have been nothing compared to the damage caused by the people themselves as they started fighting each other for resources. I – Padme, you're a Senator, and I don't mean this in a bad way, but you've – you've never been to the fronts like I have. By the time the Republic sends in aid, we've already put down much of the conflicts. The damage is being reported as caused by the war or the Separatists, but that... is not always true."

"How would a dictatorship make it better?" she demands. "What about the people? They never chose Vader to lead them. That's not – that's not a democracy."

"It was democracy that brought Palpatine into power," Anakin reminds. "He played the system and the corruption. It was too far gone to be fixed. We had to change the system to make it better. I know that the kind of power Vader has could be misused, but you have to see that he would never do that. He – he's good."

"Anakin, you've only known him for what, a couple months at most? I know you have good instincts, but he could be fooling you. Palpatine did."

He understands where she's coming from, but it still upsets him, his instinctive need to defend Vader rising up. "I know him," he answers firmly. "We – we..." He doesn't know if it's really safe to tell her, but then, the Jedi have undoubtedly sensed this already. "We have a bond," he says carefully, "And it's very strong. We literally cannot lie to each other. Or deceive each other."

Padme looks doubtful. "How certain of that are you?"

"Very."

He can tell that she doesn't believe him fully, but she doesn't push either.

"Okay, well, can you explain to me why you support him so much? I just want to understand." Unlike at the gala, Anakin somehow knows that, this time, she fully means it. She does want to understand, and he doesn't know if he can really help her with it, but he can try.

"Vader cares about the people, like me," Anakin begins, unsure how to start, much less what all to reveal. "He wants to bring peace and order to the galaxy. He saw how the war was causing so much destruction in the galaxy, and he chose to do something about it. All we want is to make the galaxy a safe place. We want to eliminate slavery and crime. So many people in the Outer Rim suffered even with the Republic. The system was failing. The Republic never helped me or my mother. The Jedi never helped us, and Qui-Gon probably wouldn't have helped me, if I hadn't been so strong with the Force. With what Vader is doing, we can make a difference. We can stop that from happening to anyone else. Maybe the cost is having an empire, but it's – it's worth it, to me, if it means we can help the people."

"You've said things like that before," Padme concedes, "Is this you speaking, or is it Vader?"

"Both," he answers immediately, "Vader and I are... alike. In so many ways. We see eye-to-eye. We – we are... close." We are one, he doesn't say. The bond pulses between them, bright and light and almost physically tangible, a permanent, unbreakable link that will keep them together for eternity.

"Vader made a remark about eliminating slavery," she remembers. "When is he going to do that?"

"I... I'm not certain. It depends on how the Jedi react to this," he admits, "But I imagine we'll begin on Tatooine, probably. Make a statement there. When it's over... you can go there, see for yourself what Vader is doing. The people support him, Padme. Maybe they didn't elect him, but they want him. Doesn't that count for something?"

She looks away, and Anakin wishes he could know what she's thinking. "It could mean he's very good at fooling people," she says at last, "Or it could mean that you're right, and that he's genuine. I can't – I know you want me to support him, and I... I brought Palpatine to power, Ani. I can't support another would-be dictator who doesn't have any genuine intentions of helping."

He can't quite hide his disappointment, though he tries. But he also understands that. "You don't need to oppose him, either," he points out quietly. "Many Senators are waiting and watching, speaking neither for nor against him, as they see how he'll rule. Don't oppose him just because he's the Emperor. Oppose him if you really think it will help the people. What use is the Senate, if not to advocate for the people?"

"You're right," she concedes at last. "I... need to think about it. You've given me a lot to think about." She reaches over slowly, taking his hand and squeezing it.

Almost automatically, Anakin laces their fingers together. He's missed her so badly, and he wants nothing more than to pull her into his arms and hold her the way he once did, before the war and everything started pulling them apart. "I don't like this distance between us," he confesses, quietly.

Padme hums. "I don't either." She meets his gaze, and he can see how tired she looks. Worn out. If he was there with her, he might be able to make her take care of herself instead of focusing on politics so much, but... that's not his place unless and until she's able to accept his allegiance to Vader. It doesn't mean he misses her any less.

"I – just know that no matter what has happened, I still love you, Padme," he tells her fervently, "I always will."

For the briefest moment, he catches a flicker of guilt in the Force, before it's gone, and she gives him a small smile. "I love you, too," she replies, squeezing his hand, "This has all been... a lot."

"Yeah."

They exchange small talk for a few more minutes, talking about less important, more mundane things, and when they finally part ways, Anakin feels a lot more settled and optimistic. Maybe it won't be as hard as he was afraid of to get Padme back.

Maybe.

**w**

Padme exhales harshly, shoulders slumping, as the door to her office closes behind her, leaving her alone. That... had been different. Not what she was expecting, really, but then, she doesn't know what she had expected. She'd told Anakin she wanted to understand, because she had hoped to see if she could help the Jedi at all by finding out what Vader is planning next.

Slavery. Eliminating slavery.

That... admittedly is nothing that Palpatine would ever have advocated. He never talked about it, period, actually, when he was Chancellor, unless it was to make some point or other that was inevitably in favor of him.

She knew that pretending to try and understand and maybe even support Vader so as to get closer would be... trying, but nothing like this. Anakin is – he's her husband, and she still loves him. She doesn't want him to be hurt, even if she thinks he's on the wrong side.

Thought he was on the wrong side.

After her conversation with Anakin earlier, she doesn't know what to think at all anymore. Anakin had been so reasonable, far more so than she had expected, laying out his points in a way that she can't dispute. Until then, she hadn't realized exactly how against Vader she is because of what happened with Palpatine. If he hadn't been stopped, if Vader hadn't stopped him, Palpatine would have torn apart the Republic he claimed to support, and it would have been her fault.

She put him in power when she was Queen by calling for a Vote of No Confidence. At the time, it had seemed like such a good idea, and she had trusted him. Implicitly. He helped her so much, and finding out that it was all a lie, a manipulation is... hard. They clashed more after she became a Senator, but she still respected him as a person. And she would have been just another one of his pawns, someone who he used to give him the power he sought after.

It's true that Vader isn't Palpatine, but she doesn't know Vader, and he's the Emperor. He is now the very thing Palpatine had wanted to be. Maybe he's not a ruthless dictator, and maybe he really does genuinely want to help the galaxy, but Padme can't trust that anymore, not after she was so badly fooled once.

And yet...

He's planning to eliminate slavery. That... is something. That's a huge something.

She can overlook what he's done to the Republic and to the Jedi, and really, he's been very... patient with the Order, she has to admit. If the Jedi and Sith are really sworn enemies, she would have thought he'd take much harsher actions against them, simply because of that, and knowing what the Jedi could do to him, since they see him as an enemy.

Before she talked to Anakin, everything felt so clear. Now, not so much.

And Padme has absolutely no idea what to do now.

Bail comes to see her – they had planned a meeting, and it'll be a good distraction. She knows he went to see Vader about his plans for the future and about a trade issue which the Senate still hasn't figured out.

"How was it?" she asks, curious. She trusts Bail's insight, and he's a good friend. Him, she can trust, even if she can trust no one else, not even the Jedi.

"Surprisingly good," he answers, and he almost sounds surprised by that himself. When they spoke a while ago, he'd spoken in favor of the empire, or rather, he'd expressed his approval of what Vader was doing. She... hadn't been able to see it at the time, but she does now. "He listened as I told him about the trading conflict, and he said he would look into it and have it taken care of immediately. I really do think he cares about the people, not like Palpatine. Vader is... different. He's not a politician."

Padme looks at him, a little taken aback. "He acts like one."

"I think he's very good at acting," he replies dryly. "We talked about my adopting the girls who were rescued."

"Really?" Now that, she hadn't been expecting at all.

He chuckles lightly. "I hadn't expected it either, but he asked after them. He wanted to make sure they would be okay, and somehow, it just came up. He actually told me he thinks it would be good if Breha and I do go through with it. I'll be comming her about it tonight."

"That would be amazing," she says with a smile. "I'm happy for you, both of you, if you decide to take that path."

Padme knows that they've spoken about adopting before, but they've always hesitated, knowing the burden it would put on their child or children. She tries to imagine Vader asking about the welfare of a random child he only met once, and she just... can't, but she also knows Bail spoke the truth.

Palpatine would never have done that.

Palpatine would never have cared.

It's something Anakin would do, though.

"Vader and I are... alike. In so many ways. We see eye-to-eye."

And Vader too, apparently.

Maybe she has misjudged him, but he's still the Emperor, and he still has absolute power. It – she doesn't know how to let herself trust him, not after Palpatine, but getting to know him better might be a good place to start.

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