Chapter 34 - Tatooine

Author's Note: The next estimated posting date is September 14th. :)

To Plague: Hmmm... wait and see. ;)

~ Amina Gila

They wait a couple weeks for the galaxy to settle, to watch the Jedi and keep track of those who walked away, before they make their move. Vader promised to eliminate slavery, and he intends to keep that promise, but with the Jedi Order having split so abruptly, they need to watch the situation carefully. It's what Vader had expected, and admittedly hoped, would happen, because it's separated many of those who will be threats to him – and Anakin – though he's well aware that there are undoubtedly others.

But with the situation regarding the Jedi temporarily calmed, they go to Tatooine.

They bring a relatively large military force with them, the entire family – Ahsoka and Omega, along with Anakin himself, of course – joining Vader when he goes to Jabba's palace to storm it. It's less a battle and more of an execution, and it doesn't take longer than a day to wipe out all of the Hutt resistance on the planet. His first act is to offer a deal to the slavers on the planet, whereby they will free their slaves in exchange for being permitted to continue operating their businesses as well as a monetary incentive – claimed from Jabba's wealth.

Many of the slavers do, in the end, go along with it, taking the offer, but there are others who do not, and they are dealt with harshly, a public example made of them for any others who would think of engaging in slavery in the future within the Empire.

It takes them a couple days to finish mopping up the pockets of resistance, though it will take many more before a new government has been properly established and adequate leaders chosen.

An election will be a rather lengthy affair, and Vader will not have time to remain here until that has been finished, but he has every intention of seeing it through. It is most important for the freed slaves to feel as if they now have a voice in their future, even if he still installs a leader of his own, who he knows will be able to step in and protect the planet when the Hutts inevitably try to reclaim it.

But that's something he'll deal with… a little later. First, he and Anakin have somewhere to go.

They take a speeder, Vader flying while Anakin rides in the back, arms wrapped around Vader's waist so he doesn't fall off, as they head to the coordinates that Vader's only been to once but could never forget. The Lars homestead looks just like it did when Vader was last there for his mother's funeral, and he feels the grief rising as he and Anakin dismount from the speeder, going to the grave and kneeling there.

For a few moments, they stay there in silence, just reflecting, remembering, their grief a shared thing between them, looping back and forth across their bond. "There's two of us now," Anakin says softly, the fingertips of his left hand absently trailing through the sand they're kneeling in. "It's a little weird, different, but I'm grateful for it, too. I just… wish you were here."

And that is a sentiment that Vader echoes wholeheartedly. All of it is, actually. Initially, it was a little strange for him, too, to have Anakin so close to him, to know that they could have been the same; their soul is the same, but they're not the same people, not anymore. He absolutely wishes his mother was here as well, though he cannot deny feeling shame at the prospect of her seeing him like this, of her knowing what he became. He can't imagine looking her in the eyes, and telling her how he joined Sidious, how he cast off the name that she gave him in favor for the one granted to him by his master, and suddenly, he feels ashamed.

Anakin reaches out, taking his hand and squeezing it. "What is it?" he asks, looking at him.

"I – have done so many things," he answers haltingly, "She… would hate me, what I became, that is, and I do not know how I could ever face her, either, knowing what I did."

"You made mistakes, yeah, but you're making amends now, and that's far more than most people can say," Anakin points out. "She'd be proud that you chose to be better, even after what you did." A pause, and before Vader can argue it, he adds, "I know I am."

The words render him speechless, because it's been a very long time since someone's said that to him. Probably, the last time he heard it was from Obi-Wan before he left for Utapau to hunt down Grievous. And then, he'd taken it all and thrown it away.

"I do not know that I am… worthy of it," he says haltingly, uncertainly, and he feels it as Anakin reaches for him through their bond, entwining their Force signatures together, radiating understanding and sorrow at once.

"You are," Anakin assures him. "You are worthy, more than worthy. You have taken what Sidious tries to turn you into and become someone better. You had the choice between rising above him, or continuing what he started, and at each point, you have chosen to be better. That is not nothing. That is something that most people would not be able to do. Don't – don't diminish that. You freed Tatooine. Because of you, the people here are freed. It's something we promised we would do, and it's something I do not know I would ever have done, if – if not for you."

It… is hard for Vader to believe that, but thinking about all that he has done, despite the struggles he's faced, thinking of Omega, the way she so clearly adores him, thinking of Ahsoka, the way she so steadfastly supports him, he… can believe it. Maybe. Or at least he can try. "You – a time ago, you told Ahsoka my name was Skywalker." He doesn't quite know where he's going with this, or what he's even trying to say.

"It is," Anakin replies immediately. "That is who you are, even if you are not ready to accept that name, our name, again."

He twitches, wavers, uncertain. A while ago, Anakin made a similar offer, and Vader had turned it down.

"Your name, our name, it belongs to someone who is… good, pure, light."

"I do not know," he answers honestly. "To the galaxy, I can only ever be Vader. I cannot… speak the truth to the public, of who I am. They would not understand, and it would be a risk not worth taking."

Anakin leans into his side, still looking at their mother's grave. "Yeah, I agree." A pause, and then, "But?"

"I want to be more than what I have been. I want to be more than – than what he tried to make me into. I do not want him to continue to haunt my every step. I want – I want to let it all go, even if I do not know that I should or can; I have done so much evil."

"Not here," Anakin reminds softly. "Not here."

"Not here," he echoes, bowing his head.

Can you ever forgive me? he thinks, directing his thoughts to his mother. Could you ever look at me and not feel disgust for what I am, for what I have become? And yet – and yet, isn't Anakin his child, too, in a sense? Isn't Omega? Ahsoka? The clones, even? He loves them freely, fiercely, without strings attached. He doesn't love them because of how they may or may not obey or care for him, but because they… are, because they deserve it. It's selfless, what he feels for them, and he knows that he would do anything for them; he thinks his mother felt the same towards him.

There is nothing that his children could do that would make him turn on him, not the way Obi-Wan did to him. And he – he can't imagine his mother ever… hurting him. She was always so good, the best person that he's ever known. Maybe he's just overthinking it. Maybe it's just his own guilt which is speaking, more than whatever he genuinely thinks his mother might do or say if she was here.

"Maybe I am still a Skywalker," he says slowly, and it makes him feel strangely lighter, freer. "Maybe I am still… Anakin."

Anakin touches him, light and fleeting, a touch of affection and acceptance. "You are," he promises without hesitation. "You are."

Vader doesn't know that he could ever refer to himself as Anakin in his own mind – it would be too confusing – but he can… accept others calling him by the name that his mother gave him.

**w**

Anakin has never met Rael Averross, but he has heard of him, the oldest Initiate to be taken to the Temple, a Jedi who was always different, who never fit in, Dooku's first Padawan. Rael spent a while on the planet Pijal, watching over it as regent while the crown princess was a child. He'd practically raised the girl, but it had… ended in a tragedy. He didn't read the full details of the file that Vader obtained from the Jedi, but he did glance at it, enough to know that Rael has experience with ruling a planet, even if not a planet like Tatooine.

Rael doesn't even dress like a Jedi, and Anakin can't quite hide his skepticism at the ragged clothing and appearance of him when he shows up in the Emperor's office. He catches the look, and chuckles, but he doesn't comment, listening attentively while Vader explains the situation on Tatooine to him, asking him if he would be interested in helping, in devoting his life to keeping the planet free and safe.

"I'll help," he answers, shaking his head. "It's the right thing to do, and it's something Qui-Gon would have done."

Anakin leans forward before he thinks better of it. He's never actually interacted with someone other than Obi-Wan who was close with Qui-Gon. He might not have known the Jedi Master well, but he still cared for him deeply. It was Qui-Gon who saw him as worth something, who freed him from slavery and took him to the Temple. It's because of Qui-Gon that he became a Jedi. Qui-Gon gave him so much, and it was to honor his memory that Anakin stayed in the Order for as long as he did, no matter how badly he wanted to leave sometimes.

"I heard how he found you," Rael says to Anakin, expression more curious than antagonistic. "Seemed like the kind of thing he would have done. He was an amazing person."

"Yes," Anakin concurs quietly, "He was."

"Kept Dooku from going too Dark," Rael continues, eyes flickering between Vader and Anakin, "Kind of how it seems you balance your Emperor."

He's so… casual, free, relaxed, so unlike anything Anakin thought a Jedi would, or even should, be. It's jarring. It's also welcome. Rael isn't afraid to speak his mind; he doesn't care how underdressed he is, even when meeting the Emperor of the galaxy, something would give most people pause, or at least make them a little bit wary.

"Dooku Fell after Qui-Gon… died?" Anakin can't help but ask. He's only ever seen Dooku as an enemy, as someone who has caused him pain. It's hard to remember that he's the one who trained Qui-Gon, that Qui-Gon probably cared about him deeply.

"Or thereabouts," Rael replies, waving a hand, "But losing Qui-Gon pushed him fully into the Dark." He pauses, huffs. "He thought I might want to join him, once, or even Qui-Gon, but he… didn't really understand. It's like Qui-Gon told me. It matters which side we choose. We don't turn to the Light because it means we'll win; we turn to it because it's the Light." His eyes are almost knowing as he studies Anakin. "Maybe most Jedi are too blind to see it, but I knew Qui-Gon, and I knew Dooku, and you're not a Sith, or even a threat." His gaze flickers to Vader, and his tone turns thoughtful. "I rather think that is true of both of you."

Vader's vocoder makes a strange, staticky noise as he chokes on an inhale – or it sort of sounds like it, and his presence flares with shock and incredulity. "You have never met me, Jedi. Why would you think that?"

"You gonna tell me I'm wrong?" he challenges, amused.

"… No," he admits haltingly.

Rael just looks smug. "The one thing the Council did right was offering Qui-Gon a seat. It's too bad he didn't take it. They could have learned a lot from him."

"They could have," Anakin agrees, almost wistfully. He can't quite imagine a galaxy where Qui-Gon became a Council member, where he lived – but then, he can't imagine a universe where Obi-Wan wasn't the one who trained him. They have had their struggles and conflicts and problems, but at the end of the day, they were meant to come together. It was as the Force willed it, and he – he can't imagine it being any other way. He can't imagine looking to Qui-Gon as a father, not like he does with Obi-Wan.

"I'm tired of staying at the Temple," Rael admits with a roguish grin. "They haven't seen the galaxy, and I'm admittedly curious about how long it will take them to make the obvious conclusion that you are neither Sith nor threats."

"Do not hold your breath. You will run out of air long before they begin to see things as you do," Vader deadpans, and Rael laughs.

"I like you," he says, far too chipper and casual to be speaking to the Emperor. "I'll be happy to rule Tatooine for you."

"I appreciate it," Anakin replies, letting his gratitude echo into the Force.

Now, they just need to find a good way of keeping the Hutts, or other criminals, from trying to get a foothold on the planet. The clones will work for the time being, but they need people who the civilians can properly trust. Clones are reliable, but they're soldiers. Even if many of them have left, or gone to explore other options, he's saddened by how many of them have come back, unable to take the peacefulness, feeling lost without a war to fight. He understands it, of course, but it still hurts. They're soldiers, and they can't be expected to settle down amidst civilians, fitting in with natborns when they've always been different, separate.

They have to find another way, and Anakin and Vader both have a couple ideas about what that solution could be.

It's time to contact Mandalore.

**w**

Vader is, admittedly, more than a little surprised when Padme requests a meeting with him the same day that he finishes making arrangements for Tatooine with Rael. She comes, expression open and composed, not a trace of hostility on her face like he's seen in the past. She seems… different somehow. Anakin is at his side, a silent, watchful shadow, and Vader can feel the flicker of thoughtfulness in him, a tentative surprise.

"I heard about what you've done on Tatooine," Padme says, sitting on one of the benches in the office. She is cool, distant in the same way she was when he met her again as Anakin, but he knows her well enough to know that she feels no hostility. Only curiosity. "I've had agents there, who have been working to help the slaves, and they told me what you've done."

"And?" he prompts, guarded but also intrigued.

"I approve," she states decisively, "And I want to help. I can't help you keep the planet free, but Naboo is willing to offer resources and aid as well as a home for those who wish to leave."

Vader is… surprised by her words. "Is that so." His words are careful, neutral, but he's beginning to feel cautious optimism now.

"I… was wrong," she says slowly, tentatively, "About you. I misjudged you, and I apologize for that."

"You had no way of knowing," he replies awkwardly. "I have never said I was anything other than a Sith."

"Are you?" Padme queries, a glint of curiosity in her brown eyes. It hurts to look at her. It hurts to remember what he once had with her, how he hurt her on Mustafar, how she hurt him, too, betrayed him there. It hurts, but this is not his Padme, she's Anakin's, and that somehow makes it easier.

"I do not know," he answers. "Perhaps. I did not expect to… be here." It's not a confession, but it's the most he's willing to say.

She hums. "Me either." And then, she glances towards Anakin. "I don't think any of us did, probably," she adds with a small smile. "There… is something I need to tell you, too. The Jedi asked me to spy on you and Anakin. I… agreed, at first, but after I spoke to Anakin, I cannot do that. Maybe you're the Emperor, but that doesn't mean you're a bad person."

I am, he wants to say, but he bites back the instinctive words, remembering his conversation with Anakin at their mother's grave, remembering what Rael said to them, repeating Qui-Gon's words about the Light. Maybe he could have been, but it's a choice, a choice that matters. He can still choose the Light, just because it's the Light, if he wants. It feels like he doesn't deserve that solace though, no matter how a part of him has begun to crave it.

"Who asked this of you?" Anakin asks before Vader can, expression furrowed with apprehension and a little anger. "Was it before the schism?"

"Yes, it was, and the Jedi there were Obi-Wan, Windu, Master Yoda, and Plo to my recollection," she replies.

Vader and Anakin exchange looks. All four of them have stayed with the Order, and if they asked her to spy, it is very likely that they cannot be trusted. Plo hurts the worst for some reason, maybe because Ahsoka had cared for him so much. She can't trust him now, and for her to lose that friendship entirely… well, it's already been lost, he supposes.

"I appreciate you telling us this," Vader finally says to Padme, "And I am willing to include you, if you can prove you will not betray our trust."

She lifts her chin, determination flashing in her eyes. "I will," she vows, and the Force rings with the sincerity of her words. She won't betray them, or at least she doesn't have any intention of doing so right now.

Vader wants to believe her. He wants to trust her. The Force is giving him no indication that he can't, but he's still… cautious. Rebuilding trust isn't easy, and it's not fair to judge her for the things his Padme did, but he finds that he still can't quite trust her anyway. But he wants to. She'll have to prove herself, though, and that means he will need to test her, offer her chances to betray them, and if she doesn't take them, if she remains steadfast and loyal, then he will learn to trust her again. For Anakin's sake, Vader hopes she'll stay true.

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