THE NEXT DAY...
Cherry stuck her tongue out as she seemed to be hard at work with some art while everyone else sat around together in Good Burger as they were there for their daily visit to help out the fast food joint so Mondo Burger wouldn't put them out of business.
"So is true for you guys too or is it just Dexter?" Monique suddenly asked as she was right behind the group with her hands on her hips.
"Is what true for us?" asked Lionel as he looked up.
"You guys aren't just using Ed in a scheme with Mondo Burger, are you?" Monique asked them firmly.
"What?! No way!" Mo replied.
"You know we're on Good Burger's side through and through!" Atticus added.
"Also, this is the first we're hearing of that!" Lionel replied.
Monique gave them all a firm look before she sighed. "Well, I guess I can trust you guys." she then said to them.
"Of course you can!" Thor smiled. "Who can't you trust in Good Burger right now?" he then added.
"Dexter." Monique simply said since she was clearly unhappy with the new boy right now.
"...okay, what happened?" Lionel asked.
"Yeah, you guys seemed to have a good time last night." Cherry added as she sipped on her shake.
"I found this in Dexter's pocket," Monique explained as she took something out to show them. "A contract that Dexter tricked Ed to sign." she then added.
The group looked at the paper.
"Whoa." remarked Atticus.
"That's terrible!" Mo exclaimed.
"There must be some mistake..." Cherry said as she, Lionel, and Thor took a look.
"Could there be? I mean, we dunno." Thor replied.
"I dunno, but I'm not sure if I like Dexter much right now." Monique said thoughtfully.
The Toon Force group frowned in concern.
Eventually, Dexter entered Good Burger's back door and went to his locker in the employee changing area. He stopped when he saw Monique putting her purse in her locker. Otis sat on a stool against the wall, sound asleep and snoring quietly.
Dexter sneaked up behind Monique, reached around and covered her eyes with his hands, saying, "Guess who?"
Monique reached up and pulled his hands away, then turned and backed away from him a couple steps. "Hi, Dexter," she said coldly.
"Whatcha doin'?" he asked.
"Getting ready for work."
"Well, um, listen, Monique… I thought, y'know, since we had such a good time last night and all, that maybe you'd wanna go out again tonight?"
"I don't think so," she said. The warmth that had been in her voice the night before was gone.
"Oh. Okay, then... tomorrow night?"
"No."
Dexter frowned and scratched his head, wondering why Monique was being so unfriendly. "Uh... maybe this weekend, then?"
"Maybe not."
"Okay. Who are you and what have you done with the real Monique?" Dexter asked, expecting a laugh, but he didn't get one.
"She's right here," Monique said. "It's just that now, she knows the real Dexter."
"Come again?" Dexter asked, still lost until The Toon Force group approached him.
"Dexter, apparently you left this in your jacket." Atticus explained as he showed the paper to him that Monique had found earlier.
Dexter began to look nervous. "Oh, uh, this is, well, this is just..." he began.
"It's the contract you had Ed sign," Monique said angrily. "You know, the one where you take most of the money he's supposed to get for his sauce."
"Ooohhh, yeah, uh..." Dexter tried to think fast. "Well, y'know, this is just—"
"Sorry, Dex," said Mo. "That's kinda crummy."
"I can't believe you would do something like that to someone who trusts you, Dexter," Monique said, folding her arms tightly over her chest. "How could you take advantage of a sweet person like Ed? And after he got you a job!"
Dexter dropped his coat on a nearby bench and waved his hands, saying, "No, no, it's not like that! I only wanted—" he began.
"I know what you wanted, Dexter. You're not Ed's friend," Monique interrupted firmly. "You're just using him to scam a little cash on the side. Must feel pretty good, huh?" She turned to leave, but stopped and faced him again, arms still folded. "Oh, and don't worry. Dexter. I'm not gonna tell Ed you're cheating him."
"Why not?"
"Because it would hurt him too much." Monique said quietly until she spun around and stalked out of the room angrily.
Dexter sighed heavily, running a hand down over his face hard. He turned and saw that Otis was awake now, watching him.
"Punk." Otis said. Then he got off the stool and followed Monique out... only a lot slower.
"This is about that guy who looks like Sindbad, isn't it?" asked Lionel. "The one who said you owed him a lot of money, right?"
"Well, yeah..." Dexter admitted as he had his shoulders slumped dejectedly and went over to his locker to open it. "Mr. Wheat ruined my summer vacation plans after all."
"Oh, yes, that monster, how dare he get mad that you wrecked his car." Cherry deadpanned.
"Cherry, not now." Atticus tutted his best friend.
"Well, it's true." Cherry shrugged and defended.
Dexter went to his locker and opened it. He removed the yo-yo Ed had given him, looped the string around a finger, and snapped his wrist downward. The yo-yo lit up and whistled as it spun downward, then upward again, downward and then upward, flashing and whistling.
"That was a really nice gift for Ed to get you." Mo commented.
"Yeah, it's exactly like the one my dad gave me when I was a little kid... and Ed was the only person who was ever thoughtful enough to buy me another," Dexter admitted as he studied the yo-yo. "He bought it with the little bit of money I gave him after keeping most of the earnings for himself."
"Makes you really think, doesn't it?" Thor asked Dexter.
"Yeah, it really does..." Dexter nodded before he shook his head and sighed. "Man, what have I done? How could I treat my only friend in the world like this?"
"Didn't you have friends before you met Ed?" Lionel asked.
"Oh, yeah, I had this friend Jake," Dexter memorized and laughed a little. "We were gonna have the greatest summer of our lives before I ended up in trouble in the first place..."
"So where is he now?" Atticus asked.
"I don't know honestly," Dexter admitted with a sigh. "After Mr. Wheat caught us, he just took off and ran like he wasn't responsible for anything that happened."
"I'm sorry to hear that," responded Atticus as he patted him on the back. "With friends like those, who needs enemies?"
"Yeah, I guess that's a good point." Dexter nodded.
"So what're you gonna do now?" Mo wondered.
"I need to make things right with Ed," Dexter said. "He might not realize it, but it should be put out there whether he notices it or not that I do actually care about him." he then added strongly.
"Well, when you're right, you're right," said Thor. "You'd better go find him and apologize!"
"Yeah..." Dexter sighed and rubbed his arm. "It might be hard though."
"We won't speak for you, but if you need us to, we'll come for moral support." Cherry suggested as she pushed her glasses back.
"Well... that's fine." replied Dexter.
Later that morning, Ed went out the back door to dump some trash into the Dumpster. But as soon as he was done, he sat down on the back steps where he'd left the two hamburgers he'd been inspecting for so long: one Good Burger and one Mondo Burger. Frowning, trying to concentrate, he held one in each hand, weighing them against one another. It just didn't make sense. Good Burgers were the same as they'd always been, but somehow, Mondo Burgers had become three times the size of Good Burgers, and they still sold for the same price. Ed knew there had to be some secret to it, but what was that secret? As he continued comparing the two burgers, Dexter came around the corner of the building.
"There ya are," Dexter then said. "Mind if I sit there?"
"On my lap?" Ed asked, sounding appalled.
"No, Ed," Cherry said, laughing a little as that got a good chuckle out of her. "We're just gonna sit with you for lunch." she then explained.
"Oh! Okay!" Ed smiled at them.
Dexter soon seated himself on the back steps next to Ed while the others took their own seats. He thought for a long moment, frowning, chewing on his lower lip, trying to find the right words. Cherry just nodded at Dexter and urged for him to do what had to be done.
Finally, Dexter said, "Ed, um... how do I say this?"
Ed turned to him and smiled, saying, "It's easy! You just go, 'thiiisss'!"
"No, no, put the burgers down," Dexter said, removing the contract from his pocket. "I wanna talk to you about this… this contract. Y'see, when I had you sign this, I really didn't mean to-" he then started to say until he was interrupted by the barking of a dog. He turned to see a scraggly stray running toward them. The dog stopped in front of them and barked at Ed.
Uh-oh!" Ed said. "What is it, boy?"
The dog barked a few more times, hopping around excitedly.
"Oh, no!" Ed cried. "Four clowns? In trouble?"
Cherry looked like Ed had grown two more heads.
"Ed..." Dexter said, trying not to sound impatient.
The dog barked some more, pawing at Ed's legs.
"Their car broke down?" Ed went on. "Oh, no! That's terrible!"
"Ed, I don't think that—" Dexter began to say.
"Hang on, Dex!" Ed said. "This dog's trying to tell us that four clowns are stuck somewhere with a broken-down car!" He turned to the dog again and leaned forward, still holding a hamburger in each hand. "Where, boy? Where are the clowns?"
"Ed, there are no clowns," Dexter said. "The dog's just hungry."
"He is?" Ed asked, sitting up straight. He looked down at the hamburgers in his hands. "Ooohhh! Well, we should feed him!" Ed put the Good Burger on his lap and opened up the Mondo Burger. "Hey, boy!" he said to the dog. "I got somethin' for ya! Here... have a Mondo Burger!" He took the enormous beef patty from the Mondo Burger and tossed it to the dog.
The patty hit the concrete with a smack. The dog rushed over to the patty and sniffed it, jerked its head back and walked away, returning to Ed's feet.
"Whassamatter, boy?" Ed asked. "That's a big beef patty over there!"
The dog started barking again.
"He's talkin' about the clowns again," Ed said, turning to Dexter. "How come he won't eat the Mondo Burger patty?"
"That's a good question." Dexter said as he was suddenly very interested in the dog's reaction to the Mondo Burger patty.
"Here, puppy," Ed said, opening the Good Burger. "Here, try a Good Burger patty." He tossed the beef patty.
The dog gobbled it up a second after it hit the ground.
"Would you look at that!" Dexter said.
"See, Dex? Told ya! I told ya somethin's weird about Mondo Burgers!" He pointed to the dog, saying, "He knows somethin's wrong! Don'tcha, boy?"
The dog stood up on its hind legs and barked frantically at Ed.
"No, no," Ed said to the dog. "I'm not talkin' about the clowns, I'm talkin' about the Mondo Burger!"
"You may be right, Ed," Dexter said. He left the steps, went over to the Mondo Burger patty, leaned down and picked it up. "C'mere, boy! Here, boy!"
The dog hurried over to Dexter and sniffed the patty he was offering. Again, the dog jerked its head back and scurried away, returning to Ed and barking some more.
"He definitely senses somethin' he doesn't like." Dexter said, dropping the patty.
"Yeah, who could blame him?" remarked Mo.
"What do you think it could be, Dex?" Ed wondered.
"I don't know," Dexter said. "How would you like to find out?"
Dexter, Ed, and the others exchanged smiling, mischievous looks.
"I've got an idea," Dexter said. "C'mon, let's go!"
They hurried away, leaving the dog alone. Once the kids were out of sight, the dog sat on the concrete and whined.
"That dog needs help though." Cherry commented.
"We'll see what we can do," Atticus replied, referring to himself and Mo. "You guys go on ahead."
Cherry glanced away before shrugging. "Come on, guys." she then told Lionel and Thor.
"Coming!" Lionel and Thor replied as they went after Cherry while Atticus and Mo picked up the dog and went the other way.
32 miles away, on a lonely and deserted stretch of highway, a car stood on the shoulder. Its hood was up and steam billowed upward from the radiator. Four clowns stood around the car in brightly colored, over-size clothes and huge shoes.
One of the clowns paced back and forth in front of the car. His giant, floppy shoes made slapping noises against the pavement with each step he took. Slap-slap. Slap-slap. "Where is that stupid dog?" he shouted.
When the other three clowns shrugged silently, he continued pacing.
Slap-slap. Slap-slap. Slap-slap
Atticus and Mo smiled as they arrived with the dog, coming to help save the day.
"Okay, guys," Cherry said as she ran with Lionel and Thor. "We gotta expose Mondo Burger, but how?"
"We have to infiltrate the restaurant's kitchen," said Lionel. "Then we do some snooping about and find out just WHAT they're doing to make the burgers so damned big. Whatever it is, it can't be legal."
"So what do we do?" Thor wondered.
"What're we gonna do?" Cherry shrugged. "Dress up in drag and do the hula?"
There was then a random rimshot heard.
"Hmm... maybe not do the hula..." Thor smirked as that almost gave him an idea. "This'll be like when I do my Julia Child impression when you guys come over to have dinner that I cooked myself." he then added.
"Well... okay," nodded Lionel. "What did you have in mind?"
Thor smirked and winked a bit.
"I don't get it." Cherry deadpanned.
"Oh, sorry, I guess I should say it out loud," Thor smiled bashfully. "What if we disguise ourselves and head down to Mondo Burger to see what might be going on?" he then suggested to them.
"Ohhhh...!" Lionel and Cherry replied.
"Okay." Lionel nodded.
"Unless you guys had a different idea..." Thor then said bashfully.
"No, I think that might be what we need." Cherry reassured him.
"I could pass for a little kid." Lionel said as he looked over himself.
"Yeah, you really could." Cherry smirked.
"I guess we could just be a couple and you could be our kid?" Thor suggested, putting his arm around Cherry when he suggested for both of them to be husband and wife for their disguises.
"Hmm... okay." Lionel nodded.
"Dex, did you hear that?" Ed asked his new friend.
"What? Going to Mondo Burger in disguise?" Dexter replied.
"Yeah! Maybe we should try that too." Ed suggested with a grin.
"Hmm... good point." said Dexter.
"What point?" asked Ed.
Dexter rolled his eyes. "Come on!"
Soon, the five darted off together while Atticus and Mo were still preoccupied in the meantime.
Later that afternoon, Mondo Burger was busy… but not as busy as it had been when it first opened. Even though Mondo Burgers were now three times the size of Good Burgers, and sold for the same price, they could not draw the kind of crowds that filled Good Burger… because they didn't have Ed's Sauce on them.
"Sauce is overrated! iCarly says Mondo Burger is the best! The best! THE BEST!" Sam yelled through a megaphone and tried to bully people into coming in by threatening their lives and whatever else she could since she was often abrasive and cruel just to get what she would want.
The crowds gathered at Good Burger not because the burgers were huge, but because they had Ed's Sauce! As the Mondo Burger employees waited on their customers and as customers took their burgers to booths and settled down to eat, two hunched-over little old ladies hobbled through Mondo Burger's front entrance. They took a few steps into the restaurant as the door swung closed behind them, then lifted their heads to look around. There also came what appeared to be a rich married couple with their child. The little old ladies were Ed and Dexter! Ed wore a blond wig with bangs and a bun on top and a purple scarf tied around it. His dress was a bizarre red and blue and hot pink print; he wore a red and orange scarf around his neck and carried a leopard-skin purse. Dexter wore a bobbed wig of brown hair and a narrow-brimmed black hat with some red feathers sticking up on the side. There were red gloves on his hands and he carried a red purse. He wore a yellow-based batik skirt and matching blouse, and a bright lime-green scarf around his neck. Both boys wore dangly earrings and sensible shoes, very sensible, and stood arm-in-arm, looking around the restaurant.
"Dexter?" Ed said. "I'm not, uh... comfortable."
"Shhh!" Dexter hissed. "Don't speak, okay? Just come with me."
They shuffled away from the front entrance together, heads slightly bowed, trying to be nonchalant and invisible.
"C'mon, over there, down that hallway." Dexter whispered.
They headed down a hallway to the side of the front counter. Dexter knew, from his very short time as a Mondo Burger employee, that it led to the kitchen... and that was where they wanted to go.
They were halfway down the hallway when a burly Mondo Burger employee stepped in front of them. He was tall and wide, with a thick neck. A paper Mondo Burger cap was perched atop his bald head. "Excuse me, ladies," he said. "May I help you?"
In a quavering, little-old-lady voice. Dexter said, "Oh, we're just looking for the ladies' restroom, that's all, son."
"Yeah," Ed said in his regular voice. "We gotta TINKLE!"
The Mondo Burger man frowned at Ed as Dexter squeezed Ed's arm, trying to tell him to shut up.
"Oh, don't mind her," Dexter said. "She's always had a deep voice. Started smoking when she was just a girl way back in 1987." He turned to Ed and said, "Just hush your mouth up, baby."
Ed said, again in his regular voice, "Uh, sorry."
Dexter shot Ed an angry look that said, without words. Would you just shut up!
"I said hush, dear!" Dexter said to Ed, squeezing his arm again. "Now, let's get on to the little girls' room."
"Uh, ma'am," The Mondo Burger man said, "the rest rooms are over there on the other side of the restaurant. I'll show you." He took Dexter's free arm and turned him around, starting to lead him back down the hallway.
"What are you people doing here?" Sam asked Cherry and Thor.
"Oh, we just came to explore this place as a food critic couple with little Junior here." Thor replied in a lowered voice, trying to sound like a real adult.
"Yes, yes," Cherry added. "So if you don't mind, we'll just explore, isn't that right, Junior?" she then added and winked to Lionel while trying to be subtle.
Lionel nodded in response. "Yup!" he said in a kid's voice.
"Then I guess you folks won't mind if I show you around." Sam smirked.
"That's okay, we're fine with exploring on our own." Cherry replied casually.
"I said you had no choice." Sam glowered then.
"Uh, no you didn't." Thor said to her.
"Well, ya don't now!" Sam said with a glare as she began to push them over to where Ed and Dexter were being taken.
Lionel glared as Cherry and Thor got pushed along.
"Hey! Watch those hands!" Thor complained.
"Don't try me, buddy." Sam glowered as she shoved them.
"Hey, now!" Dexter said, in his old lady voice. "Get your hands off me! You pre-vert, you!" Dexter tilted his head back and cried, "Help me! Oh! I'm an old woman bein' harassed by a mighty man!"
The Mondo Burger man let go of his arm immediately, eyes wide with alarm. "Ma'am, I was just trying to—"
"Ack!" Dexter cried as he fell back against the wall. He flailed his arms and gasped for breath, making gurgling sounds in his throat. "Ooohhh!" he cried in a thin, strangled voice. "Water! Waaaater! Ooohhh!"
Ed turned to him, panicking, and said, "You want me to get you some wa-"
Dexter's flailing hand just happened to slap Ed right in the mouth. "Shut up!" he then hissed through clenched teeth. Turning back to the Mondo Burger man, he made an ugly gurgling sound in his throat. "Gurrggllle! Water! Please! Water! Hurry!"
The Mondo Burger man stepped forward and looked at Dexter with great concern. "Water? Yes, ma'am! Be right back!" He turned and jogged down the hallway toward the restaurant.
Dexter stood up straight and turned to Ed. "Don't you know when you're bein' told to shut up?"
Ed said, "Uuuhhhh... no?"
"C'mon, let's go!" Dexter said quietly.
"But what about your water?" Ed asked.
"Oh, will you just-" Dexter grabbed Ed's shoulders, turned him around and pushed him down the hallway, following right behind.
They hurried down the hallway, ducked to the left through a door, and into the kitchen. It was a huge kitchen, bustling with activity. Workers scurried around frantically, dropping hot fruit pies into their cardboard containers, dipping onion rings and zucchini slices into batter and then deep-frying them, preparing salads. They worked as stiffly and efficiently as robots, and they were all so busy with what they were doing that they didn't notice the two little old ladies who hurried along the edges of the kitchen, silent and hunched over. But there was a loud rumbling noise in the kitchen, a great electronic hum. Dexter spotted a long rectangular table. He clutched Ed's arm and pulled him under the table.
They hunched there together, watching the activity around them. The hum was coming from a conveyor belt that stretched out several feet, ending at a chute that connected directly to the grill. Workers placed beef patties on the conveyor belt at one end. They made their slow, steady way along, until another worker dipped an eyedropper into a canister and applied exactly two drops of liquid to each beef patty as it passed, one after another. The patties were carried along on the conveyor belt, until they disappeared into the chute that opened over the grill. And they dropped through that chute onto the grill three times bigger than they'd been at the other end!
"Saaaay, what's goin' on over there?" Cherry asked in an almost Lionel inflection as she peeked over to the kitchen.
"Nothing to see here, folks." Sam glared as she kept pushing them around.
Lionel gave a look that meant "You're kidding me, right?" before he began mentally working out a plan to sneak off and investigate. Sam glared at Lionel that would scare some people, but unfortunately for her, Cherry, Lionel, and Thor either put together or on their own had worse to be afraid of than an aggressive tomboy with an anger problem.
"What're those drops they're puttin' in the meat?" Ed whispered, eyes wide with amazement.
"I don't know," Dexter replied. "But I bet that's what's makin' those burgers grow so big."
"Cool!" Ed said. "We should get some! For Good Burger!"
"No!" Lionel whispered loudly as he caught up with Ed and Dexter. "That kinda stuff has got to be illegal!"
"It is illegal." said a voice behind them.
They looked over their shoulders to see Kurt Bozwell leaning down and glaring at them under the table. Suddenly, hands reached under the table and dragged them out, stood them up, and pushed them against the wall. Two tough-looking thugs glared at them as Kurt grinned.
"Triampathol is way illegal," Kurt said. "But it sure makes burgers nice and enormo, doesn't it?"
"Yeah," Dexter said, pressed against the wall by a thug, "but what kind of effect does that stuff have on people when they eat your 'enormo' burgers, huh? I mean, what does it do to 'em?"
"Uh-oh, ladies," Kurt said, raising both hands and grinning. "Don't care!"
Kurt laughed loudly, and the two thugs holding Ed and Dexter against the wall joined in, guffawing like a couple of donkeys. Suddenly, the two thugs tore off Ed and Dexter's dresses, guffawing the whole time, and tossed the ripped material aside Stripped of his dress, Dexter wore a T-shirt and a pair of shorts, along with his wrinkled stockings and shoes. Ed, on the other hand, was left wearing lingerie... along with the wrinkled stockings and shoes.
"What in the world...?" Lionel murmured at Ed due to his underclothing.
"I borrowed it from my mom." Ed chuckled and explained innocently.
Kurt and his thugs burst into gut-busting laughter. Lionel quickly backed away, making sure nobody saw him.
"Yeah, laugh it up, guys," Dexter said. "When people find out you're usin' that illegal junk in your burgers, you're gonna end up in jail!" He turned to Kurt and added, "Bro!"
"And that's why nobody outside of this kitchen is gonna find out about it." Kurt said.
"Oh, and I suppose you think we're just gonna keep our mouths shut?" Dexter snapped back.
"No, not at all," Kurt said. "I'm gonna keep your mouths shut!"
A moment later. Dexter suddenly became a burst of energy, flailing his arms and kicking his legs. The thug holding him against the wall was caught off-guard and Dexter broke loose. He plowed into the other thug, the guy holding Ed against the wall. Dexter slammed the thug hard enough to knock him several steps backward and away from Ed.
"Run, Ed!" Dexter shouted. "Run!"
"Okay!" Ed began to run immediately. And he ran straight into a wall, hitting it so hard that he fell onto his back.
The two thugs grabbed Dexter and Ed immediately. They wrestled them over to Kurt and turned them to face him.
Kurt approached Ed slowly, saying, "Okay, hot shot. I'm tired of playin' games with you, okay? I wanna know what's in your sauce... and I wanna know now!"
"Forget it!" Dexter shouted, held in the grip of Kurt's muscular thug. "You're never getting Ed's Sauce!"
Kurt ignored Dexter and stepped in front of Ed, leaning close, very close, right in Ed's face. In a low, threatening voice, Kurt said, "I want... to know... what's in... your sauce, Ed."
Ed's face slowly twisted into a grimace. "Dude," he said. "You really need a Tic Tac!"
"Hah-hah!" Dexter laughed defiantly.
"That coils it," Kurt growled through clenched teeth. "You guys are grass and I am a Snapper lawn mower!"
"Whatta you want us to do with 'em?" asked the thug holding Dexter.
"Well, I think it's time to get our friend Wade on the phone." Kurt said with a chuckle.
"At Demented Hills?" Troy asked.
"Yes," Kurt said, nodding. "Demented Hills." He grinned at Ed and Dexter. "You boys are going away. Way away. For a looong time." Then Kurt burst into loud and unpleasant laughter.
"I better tell the others," Lionel said to himself as he darted off before bumping into someone. "Oh, excuse me." he then said politely at first until he saw who he had knocked down.
"Watch where I'm going!" Sam glared before she got back up and saw him. "Oh, it's you."
"Yes, me," Lionel responded. "Just lookin' fer the toilet."
"I'm sure you are," Sam smirked. "Unfortunately for you, I just signed a release for you and your 'parents'." she then added and used air quotes around parents.
"Whatcha talkin' 'bout, Puckett?" Lionel demanded, almost sounding like the actor Gary Coleman.
"Well, my mother and I were arranged to go to a place called Demented Hills, but I changed the names and added your names while Kurt decided to register your friends Ed and Dexter as well." Sam explained with a smirk.
"...ah, pellets." remarked Lionel.
Demented Hills was a sprawling, ominous-looking building atop a grassy hill on the edge of town. In the dark of night, the building looked like a gigantic beast hunkering on the hill, its windows glowing like multiple eyes as it waited to pounce on something... or someone. A white van drove along the narrow road that wound up the hill and ended in the parking lot in front of Demented Hills. Painted on the side of the van was a silhouette of the enormous hospital. Next to that were the words:
DEMENTED HILLS ASYLUM
Restricting the Disturbed
Since 1922
The van drove across the parking lot and stopped at the institution's yawning entrance. Two men in white uniforms got out, went to the back of the van, opened the doors, and pulled out Ed, Dexter, Cherry, Lionel, and Thor. They were both wearing straitjackets. Handling the boys roughly, the two attendants took them inside the building.
"Whoooaaa!" Ed said as they entered the building's high-ceilinged foyer. "Cool place!"
The group was shoved over to the front desk. Behind it stood a man with a sour-looking face. He looked like he'd just bitten into a lemon. Like the two attendants, he wore a white uniform. A nametag on his breast pocket read HI! I'M WADE.
"Here's your delivery from Good Burger." One of the attendants said.
The other attendant added, "Kurt wants these guys outta sight... for a long time."
Wade's mouth curled into something that looked like it was supposed to be a smile as he said, "Yeah, these guys look way disturbed to me. Downright twisted. We better hold 'em here for extended... observation." Wade laughed quietly, and the two attendants joined in.
"Maybe we should get 'em to those doctors from the old TV show too." One attendant suggested.
"Yeah, they've been outta work for a long time!" The second attendant added.
"What are you talking about?" asked Lionel, raising a brow.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Wade smirked. "Perhaps you guys would like to meet them."
The group faced each other, looking curious and confused while Ed was already spoken for.
"Dentonvale, The Arrival. Introducing Dexter Reed, Ed (no last name given), Cherry Kyle, Lionel Schwartz, and Thornton Moltenscar." An announcer voicer suddenly said as the group was brought in to see two doctors behind a desk who appeared to be a bald man and a redheaded woman with her hair tied in a bun.
"Ah, Cherry, Lionel, Thor, Dexter, and Ed, how wonderful to see you," The bald man greeted with a creepy smile on his face. "I'm Dr. Cosmo McKinley. And this is my sister and colleague-" he was then about to add.
"Wanda?" Thor smiled innocently.
"Actually, my name is Nation." The redheaded woman clarified.
"Oh... that's a shame, then you'd be Cosmo and Wanda...?" Thor then said.
There were then the sounds of cricket chirps.
"...forget it." Thor muttered then.
"We understand you've been going through a rather trying time." Nation soon said to the group.
"Man, you'd better let us outta these things!" Dexter said.
"Sure, not a problem," Cosmo replied as he pushed a button. "Nurse Ansalong, please come in and help remove these straitjackets."
A bouncy and bubbly woman with brown hair tied into a high ponytail smiled as she came in and came to help them out while giggling and looking rather excited. Soon, the group were out of their straitjackets and left to settle in. A guy known as Rest Home Ricky soon came to help Ed out of his straitjacket.
"No, thanks," Ed said. "I can get out of this myself."
While the others looked at Ed as if he were crazy, he closed his eyes tightly, bunched up his face and slammed himself back against the wall hard. There was a horrible crunch sound… the sound of Ed's shoulder dislocating!
"Yaaaagggghhh!" Ed bellowed as beads of sweat broke out on his face. He wriggled and twisted and bent and leaned, until… he slipped the straitjacket off. He slammed his back against the wall again, and there was another horrible crunch sound… the sound of Ed's shoulder relocating!
Dexter, Cherry, Lionel, Thor, Nurse Ansalong, and Rest Home Ricky gawked at Ed, horrified, while Cosmo and Nation seemed unfazed.
"Fascinating." Cosmo said with an unfazed grin.
"Definitely interesting, my dear brother." Nation agreed as she also grinned.
"Rancid rat-hairs!" remarked Lionel. "These guys are messed up!"
"Whew!" Ed sighed, wiping a hand over his sweaty face. Then he handed the straitjacket over to Rest Home Ricky and smiled, saying, "I saw it in Lethal Weapon."
The others blinked at that.
"How very interesting," Cosmo remarked. "Please, Ricky, Nurse Ansalong, show them to their room." he then requested.
"Our room?" Dexter snapped as the two attendants led them away. "You can't do that! You can't just keep us here! That's illegal! Th-That's kidnapping!"
"I don't think that's what they call it here, Dex." Ed said as they were taken down a long corridor.
Dexter rolled his eyes.
"I think he has a point." Thor commented.
"Shh." Cherry shushed him.
"Sorry, Cherry." Thor then said quietly.
They were thrown into a small room with padded walls, and the door was slammed behind them. Nurse Ansalong then peered in through a little square window in the door. "Don't worry," he then said with a high-pitched giggle. "Later, we'll let you spend a little time in the recreation room with the other monkeys."
Then a heavy lock was thrown with a loud kuh-chunk, and the attendants were gone.
Dexter went to the door and began to pound on it, shouting, "Open this door! I'm not gonna tell you again, dude! Uh, hello?" There was no response. "Okay, I will tell you again! Open this door!" Finally, he stopped pounding, turned around, and leaned his back against the door, groaning with frustration.
"Hey, guys!" Ed exclaimed. "Look! The walls are padded! Look what I can do!" He ran across the room and slammed into the wall, bounced off, slammed into another wall, bounced off, again and again. The whole time, he cried, "Wheee! Whooaaa, cool! Uh... ow. Wheeee!"
Dexter rolled his eyes and leaned his head back against the door, wondering how they were ever gonna get out of Demented Hills.
"We gotta get out of here." Cherry said.
"We will, but maybe in the meantime, we'll shift the story over to Atticus and Mo and Good Burger." Thor suggested as he leaned on the fourth wall.
"Sure, why not?" shrugged Lionel as he pulled the corner of the screen and flipped back to Good Burger.
It was near closing time at Good Burger, but customers were still lining up at the counter for burgers with plenty of Ed's Sauce. But the Good Burger gang, though still polite to their customers, were not smiling.
"Hey, guys! We're back!" Atticus called as he came through the door along with Mo.
"Hey... it's kinda quiet around here..." Mo commented as she looked around.
"We haven't seen Ed and Dexter all day," Fizz explained. "It's not the same without them."
"Yeah... we need the sounds of Ed saying 'Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?' or singing, 'I'm a duuuude… he's a dude, she's a dude, 'Cuz we're all duuudes~'!" Deedee added.
Atticus and Mo frowned in concern over that. Mr. Baily came out of his office, where he had been making phone calls, trying to track down Ed and Dexter. He was frowning as he approached Fizz and Monique, who stood behind the counter.
"Uh, any word on Ed and Dexter, sir?" Atticus asked.
"Nobody's seen them," Mr. Baily said. "Nobody's heard from them, either." He shook his head and sighed.
"I'm really worried." Monique said, chewing a nail nervously.
"Me, too." Fizz added.
Behind them, asleep on his stool beside the doorway to the kitchen, Otis snored.
"I've seen graveyards livelier than this, how about you, Cherry?" Atticus commented, needing a bit of a deadpan snarking to lighten the mood since his best friend did that better than anyone else he knew.
There was no answer obviously.
"Cherry?" Atticus called and looked over. "Hey! Cherry isn't here either."
"And neither are Lionel and Thor," Mo frowned. "They must be gone too."
"So we need to find them!" said Atticus. "...but where could they be?!"
"Don't worry, Atticus; we'll find them," Mo reassured him. "I just hope they didn't wander too far."
Atticus nodded at that while the Good Burger gang were more worried about Ed and Dexter due to knowing them longer while Atticus and Mo were mostly worried about Cherry, Lionel, and Thor.