Secrets of the Platypus – Part 3

"Do all field agents have their private office?" Vanessa asked.

"Only the top in each generation," said Carl. "That includes the Black Panther, the Snake, and the Great White Shark."

"Ugh, not that guy."

"I know, right?" Monty said with a grimace. "He used to be number two before Agent Double W passed on."

"Agent Double W?"

"The White Wolf, Perry's old mentor, but he doesn't like to talk about her. She and the Great White were part of the first generation of agents ever recruited by the OWCA when Dad was still young. Perry is third generation," Monty stopped when he saw the look on her face, "Hey, are you okay?"

"Um, yes," Vanessa said with a quick flick of her head. "I just haven't really thought of what being a spy really implies until now. I mean my Dad… You know what he's like."

Monty put his hand over hers, "Hey, not all villains can be as goofy or considerate as Dr. D. But we're in this together. You're safe with us."

Vanessa looked up and smiled at him gratefully. "I guess there are a lot of things I didn't know about OWCA."

"Well, that's what we're here for," said Carl who was starting to feel a little awkward.

"Yeah, I think you'll like it here once you get used to it," said Monty.

Vanessa wasn't too sure about that, but she wasn't going to back down that easily.

The more she flipped through the reports, the more Vanessa wondered when Perry had time to accomplish so much in a life not much longer than hers.

"You know," said Carl who had stayed behind to help her after Monty had returned to the training rooms, "at first I thought Major Monogram didn't know what he was doing, but now that I think about it, Agent P can really use all the help he can get."

Vanessa slumped into the armchair behind the desk and opened a drawer containing several blank sheets of paper. Although it was elegant and filled with expensive furniture, Perry's office looked quite as blank. Except for some snow globes and replicas of famous buildings, most likely little momentos from the many international missions he was sent to, there was no personal item to offer any idea of what kind of person occupied the place. Maybe the secret agents really liked keeping to themselves, just like Harry had told her.

"Carl, you've known Perry a lot longer than I have."

"For about five years. I also started my internship when I was in high school. Agent P was still an apprentice so we had more time to talk back then. Why do you ask?"

"You saw him earlier. I don't expect him to give me any clear instructions, so I'll have to take matters into my own hands."

"Oh, alright then," Carl said, pushing his glasses up his nose. "First of all, he can't stand coffee. Always give him tea or hot chocolate when he's in a bad mood."

Vanessa made a note in her pocketbook. So Perry apparently had a sweet tooth and mood swings. That was new.

"Honestly, sometimes I wonder how he manages to function without a single drop of caffeine," Carl said. "Sometimes I step in and complete his reports for him. I don't mind, some of his stories are really fascinating, he just tends to get off-topic. Take a look at this one he wrote."

Vanessa picked up the paper and looked it over:

Today, Doofenshmirtz's backup singers wore red sequin vests and Vaudeville hats. Their performance resembled a cabaret musical.

And then there was a half-page commentary on fashion in the 20s, as well as a detailed review of the Charleston dancing style. Who knew Perry was actually into that kind of stuff?

The reasons behind the scheme are shoelace-related; the details are irrelevant.

Vanessa appreciated that Perry was trying to keep her father's personal childhood experiences to himself, though she doubted the agency would be too interested in a bunch of German middle school kids constantly stepping on her father's shoelaces.

By the way, did you know that that plastic tip at the end of the shoelace is called an aglet?

Anyway, today's Inator looked something like this:

And then there was a messy doodle of what appeared to be a brown leather shoe on an ice cream stick.

And that gave me an idea. While still trapped, I took off one of my own shoes and tossed it at the self-destruct button. It immediately exploded, just like it always does, but no one got hurt this time. I lost a good shoe, however. Fortunately, the Doctor was kind enough to lend me some of his spare slippers. They were platypus-shaped, but he insisted he got them long before he met me.

Carl sighed, rubbing his forehead. "I've been telling him to seek an ADHD diagnosis for years now, but he always forgets."

"That probably explains why he and Dad get along so well," Vanessa said. "And wait, is this marmalade?"

"Yeah, he's always on the run when he eats. Oh, and one more thing, watch out for injuries. Once a bullet grazed his shoulder and he was leaving a trail of blood down the corridor, but no one dared to say anything. When I pointed it out, he said he didn't notice and you know what he did next? He took a mop and offered to clean it up! I had to practically drag him to the infirmary!"

"Really?" asked Vanessa who didn't know whether to laugh or be concerned.

"I have to admit, he has an incredible pain tolerance, but there's only so much blood a person can lose," Carl said.

"So you were right then, he does need help. But I still think I need more information before we can start working together."

"Hmm, spoken like a true secret agent. You know, most missions involve not just fighting but also quite a bit of investigating."

"That I can do!" said Vanessa, jumping to her feet.

Carl got up from the floor, placing the last of the sorted documents on the desk. "Just one thing, if I were you I wouldn't rely too much on the other agents. You know, they're not too fond of him so their answers might be a little biased. None of them know him better than you do, anyway."

Vanessa smiled slyly. "Fortunately, I know someone who does."

"So, how did you say you know my brother again?" Candace asked, handing her a steaming cup.

Vanessa began to stir her tea, trying to look casual. She detected a minty scent. Was this Perry's favorite flavor, or was it Candace's? Should she have asked, or would that have made her suspicious?

"Well, I've decided I want to go to the same school as him when I start college."

"Ah, yeah," said Candace. "I keep forgetting your mom's loaded. But I thought you had to enroll in Stiegemore from first grade if you wanted to continue. Perry has been studying there since I was a baby and he's not done yet."

"Sometimes they make exceptions," said Vanessa, setting her cup on the coffee table, "but first I need someone to update me on what I missed. Perry was kind enough to take me under his wing and be that person."

"Yeah, that sounds like him, alright," said Candace, finally convinced yet not so thrilled. "Everyone just loooooves my brother!"

Vanessa raised her eyebrows partly because that was the opposite of what Carl had told her, and partly because Candace sounded a lot like her father.

"You have no idea how lucky you are to be an only child."

"You mean you two don't get along?"

"Well, that depends..." Candace said, turning her head toward the patio door. Phineas and Ferb were leaning against the tree trunk, heads huddled together as they read from the same book. "Look at them," she murmured, "pretending to be good little angels ever since school started. It's been almost a week since their last little scheme, but I'll be ready when that happens!"

Vanessa looked up at the copper leaves fluttering in the cool breeze. She almost couldn't believe it when she first discovered Perry's alternative identity. It was towards the beginning of August. Vanessa had come to return the Bettys album she had borrowed from Candace. She would have never admitted to her friends that she actually liked their music, but Candace, after years of hiding her love for Ducky Momo, perfectly understood her struggle.

When she came down the stairs she saw Perry under the same tree building a birdhouse with his younger brothers. Knowing Phineas and Ferb, she was surprised that it wasn't actually a five stars bird hotel or that it lacked jet missiles that could launch it into outer space, but the boys seemed simply excited to spend time with their older brother.

Perry froze when he caught sight of her, except for his hand which continued to move. At one point he smashed his finger with the hammer, but there was absolutely no reaction until a very distressed Phineas had pointed it out. Perry tore his eyes from her and began shaking his hand, ruffling Phineas' hair with the other.

Vanessa had promised him then that she would keep his secret if he didn't tell anyone that she was a Betty fan. That had actually been the first time she had ever heard him laugh.

"That's just what I was talking about," Candace said. "My brothers always get away with anything. It's true that Perry doesn't usually do anything too bustable, but still! My mom always sets him up as an example because he does more chores around the house, gets involved in volunteering projects, and stuff like that!"

"I see," said Vanessa, sipping from her tea. She assumed that constantly saving the world from utter annihilation could be interpreted as an act of volunteerism. "And has he always been like this?"

"For as long as I can remember," Candace said, "but I guess it's more of Dad's fault. After he left, Perry started helping Mom more."

"Oh, you mean..."

"Our biological father, oh I mean my biological father. He's technically Perry's adoptive dad, but I had a hard time understanding that when I was little. We both have a different dad now anyway. It's actually quite complicated, why don't I show you?"

Candace led her to a high shelf full of family photos and pointed to one in the middle. Vanessa did not recognize any of the three occupants of the frame. They were a man who didn't stand out for anything in particular, except perhaps for the sparkle in his dark-brown eyes, and a tall, and incredibly beautiful woman holding a little toddler who was trying to catch a butterfly.

"People say he takes after his mother."

"Wait, you mean that's Perry?" Vanessa asked. "I didn't even recognize him without his hair."

"Oh, that's actually a pretty funny story," Phineas said as Ferb closed the patio door behind them. "You see, Perry's hair used to be dark brown. Then one day when he was little and he was chasing down a Bilby—"

"Scientific name Macrotis lagotis," said Ferb.

"Yeah, and then he stumbled upon this strange flower—"

"Carbunculus laqueus."

"Thanks, Ferb, - that had this blueish pollen that got all over the place and didn't go away no matter how many baths he took. And his hair just kept growing like that."

"Huh, I always thought he dyed it," said Vanessa.

"Nope, actually he doesn't really have a choice. But we like it just the way it is, right Ferb?"

Ferb nodded.

Vanessa looked at the next picture and indeed saw that Perry's hair had turned turquoise. He looked to be about two or three years younger than Phineas and Ferb and was holding a baby who was staring at the camera with big googly eyes.

"Aww, you were such a cute baby, sis."

"Shut it!"

To their left was a slightly younger-looking Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher and to their right a man with sandy-colored hair and a freckled nose who was laying his hand on Perry's shoulder.

"That's Perry and Candace's dad."

"Isn't he also your dad?"

"Yeah, but I didn't get to meet him," said Phineas without losing the brightness in his voice. "But Perry told me he liked to build fun things just like we do, isn't that right Ferb?"

Ferb nodded again, but Candace was silent so Vanessa didn't push the subject.

The last picture contained the most members. Perry seemed to be about her own age and was holding Phineas who couldn't have been more than three or four years old, and Candace, who was wearing a big yellow bow in her hair at the time, was holding little Ferb. Mr. and Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher looked almost the same.

In each of the three pictures, his family had grown and changed. Perry had also grown, yet his smile remained the same as if nothing inside was different, but Vanessa knew that couldn't have been farther from true.