Warning: Parody

Note: I did not fix grammatical errors and such to make this every bit more of a parody. Please keep this in mind while reading. Please do not take this fanfiction too serious as well. Thank you!

The glass door to the gas station slam shut. There were these heels glamorous in their pink sequins stepping into the place. The light shimmered off her glittery pink knee length coat with the pink knee-length capris to match. A big fluffy scrunchie tied her blonde hair in big ponytail. The accessories accompanying her form were the pinkest in nature because IT'S BARBIE. Her heels clicked on the floor as she glanced upon the shelves and lower class citizens there.

You see, Barbie has broken up with Ken and wants to fill that hole in her heart. It doesn't feel okay to be without a man. She feels the need to get back at him too, so her shrewd gaze picks a target at the gas station. Because where else to go pick a person to make Ken feel worse?

She gradually made her way around the peasants when she suddenly gasped, "what a stud." The somebody stocking shelves was a total and utter stud, so much so that she was trapped a yard away tranced like she fell into a pit. She pulled herself out the metaphorical pit and stumbled toward his eminence.

Barbie, twirling her hair around her finger, accidentally forming a knot, uttered, "Hey there!"

The man heard her and then peered at her pinkness royalty to mumble, "uh, hey," while he fumbled placing an item on the shelf.

"What a good-looking man like u doing in a place like this?" smirked Barbie as she gave her best one-liner, one of the best ones on planet earth. She planned on wearing him down with pickup lines until he caved in. She read a book on flirting earlier and testified to him it was her only option to win the heart of a man. He continued to stare at her. That was what made the moment beautiful.

Thus, this could be the encounter of Gavin's lifetime for he has never felt the touch of a woman's love. It may not lead to an epic journey over the course of two days but waking up knowing Barbie's there awaiting him could be the thing that brings him to sanity in insanity. Barbie, herself, has prayed for this blessed day where the luv of her life looks completely confused before knowing how much they mean to her. Everything without Gavin in this story would be probably profoundly wrong, because Barbie needs Gavin, but more precisely Barbie needs him much much more than you could ever imagine. She is the one to fall into his lap and have the want to never walk again because she wants to be carried by Gavin forever, so she can be in his embrace until the end of time.

Gavin commented on nothing and continued to stock shelves. She kept pushing it and said, "Would hanging out tonight at 7 work out for you?" she suggested as she licked her lips and winked with sex appeal, "I trust you can chose which place to eat wisely." The conscience in Gavin is called Hannah conscience and helped him here to agree to forward the plot.

Isn't it lovely how Gavin responded to this with, "where else could I be at that time when you Barbie wants to date? Isn't that most important? Barbie's feelings?" The sarcasm went flying kilometers and kilometers above Barbie's blonde head. She saw that the relationship already began. She was 100% in love with him already. Every moment she was fantasizing of him in her day dreams after shoplifting at the gas station because she didn't pay for her candy bar!

"What if Gavin finds out I just broke up with Ken and still think about engaging in a relationship with him again?" Barbies muttered. It is not like Gavin will ever know if you never tell him, she thought. Maybe he will be mad? Maybe he prefers those sorts of polygamous agreements in relationships, ones they call open and honest? She was not prepared for that reality of him rejecting her love. He was the only one person who could make her feel the way she did. He drove her crazy like she was endlessly spinning on an amusement park ride. Some questions are ones we never get the answer for, especially when they are about the man of our dreams feeling the same about us. The world may never know if Gavin's feelings are mutual. There is doubt in the lava bubbling beneath the surface of her thoughts as she wonders if she is in Gavin's thoughts this very minute.

Gavin was raptured by the Adam Sandler documentary on TV while his father and his baby brother were asleep to it. Gavin got up after it was finished to go to the bathroom to soak in tub. "Gavin. I'm in the tub to keep u out the tub," relays Gavin's mother after he knocked on the locked door 8 times because 8 is his lucky number. Gavin frowned in response. Afterwards, he hears the doorbell ringing three times a second, because three is Barbie's lucky number, and goes to answer. He glances over his shoulder to be reassured that his younger brother and 2 younger sisters are still playing with barbies at the dinner room table.

"Why r u here again?" Gavin thinks to self when peering out the glass part of the door. But that voice in him told him to open the door and greet her.

"Peak-aboo," tries Barbie at cracking joke. Then compliments, "Wow your family is so awesome and happy. Your family members are so fleshed out like I totally relate to them as my family." Barbie glanced over his shoulder at younger siblings playing with Barbies and asked if she could join them before the "hangout."

"I can take it that you are here for the hangout which I took so serious as to wear sweats," Gavin says ignoring her request.

"Yep, I see u shining with your bright smile and I know it is date-time!" she said although this was a "hangout" not a date.

"Sure! Time to hang out! Time to have the time of my life!" Gavin said not smiling though. He has not smiled since the moment he met her. Unexpectedly, while Gavin drove Barbie to the local McDonald's, assassins came! Barbie was in mortal combat with lightsabers while Gavin was driving to McDonald's. Gavin didn't even see the battle going on while he was in meditative thought on what happy meal to get. After she fought off these goons, she had the time to get to know Gavin in all his glory, but she wanted to let him know in her own way how much he means to her.

"I could wake up every night beside u seeing ur twinkling smile."

"Okay."

"I was so desperate to sit in a car with you that I would sell half of my clothing collection."

"Did you?"

"No, but you are such a lovely human. I pored my soul into this outfit for you."

"Okay."

She felt the blood pumping to all areas of the body from brain to all areas of body after they both ordered their girl happy meals. Even at McDonald's, while Gavin was in meditative thought on gobbling up his meal, Barbie fought off forces of evil. These assassins were because of that contract with Ronald that meant she gets all the money from the sales of those happy meals with Barbie toys. Ronald could have poisoned either of their burgers. Every bite mattered too if she dies or lives another day.

Ronald may target Gavin the only man she could ever love. She didn't want to endanger her Gavin then have him assassinated then kidnapped and then assassinated again then taken to McDonald's headquarters then kidnapped again. She will prevent it to becoming a total of 20 kidnappings and 20 assassinations of Gavin. She wasn't about to lose her only lover now! Now, her Barbie senses tingled and she was ready for anything and everything at a local McDonald's, including strikes from underpaid employees. Gavin paid under 10 here with mcflurries, happy meals and smiles. One extra McFlurry is always good. Those coupons Barbie brought kicked mad butt!

"I'll let you decide where we eat this delicacy." At this moment, Gavin has to make a big decision to save the world. They are having this super "hangout" at this super establishment and now Gavin has to pick a spot to eat. He has to impress his "friend," this is a whole load of pressure on a normal person. "Instead of eating in your car, let's eat with that dumpster," he voiced because his conscience told him to.

The two have a super eating "hangout" in front of a McDonald's dumpster. Gavin has eaten his fill and started to watch Barbie eat. Just what she feared, but Gavin I'd take it did not know that was her biggest fear: to be watched while eating McDonald's crumby food. It was an eternity for her soul but she bared it to protect the love of her life longer. Finally, she was certain of his safety after prolonging the date with a little awkward small talk. She ran off and left that McFlurry behind until she stopped in her path, looked back at Gavin then the McFlurry then Gavin and got the McFlurry leaving behind Gavin. She eventually crashed her car into a building across the road from Gavin KABOOM and Gavin watched her ,while chewing, walking home.

"This is no sense making to me," Gavin admits to self unfazed. He did not know why she left suddenly after the small talk. Gavin places his sweatshirt beneath his head as he laid there and eventually drifted off to a dream world where he worked at McDonald's. Suddenly, he was awoken in the middle of the night by the unknown. He went to go home to sleep on the couch till morning dripped its light into his eyes. The blind was open and perfect for stalkers, but Gavin wasn't thinking about that right now. Gavin wanted to check his phone to see the time, but he didn't have his phone on him anywhere. But first he checked the sky, then the floor, and then his pockets. Before he could act upon the strategic plan to get the phone, he falls asleep again, but is awoken again for work.

During your "average" extra long lunch break, he went to Barbie's residency. That phone is soon to be in Gavin's possession as soon as one speaks with that pesky blonde. Gavin knock about 8 times because 8 was said to be his lucky number. Ken comes to answer the knocks at the door. Gavin couldn't believe his eyes. It was Ken just blinged out and with pink SnapBack that says juicy on it in silver cursive letters. Barbie in pink lingerie comes over pale nonchalantly. She was actually swaying back and forth when she got closer. She looked utterly pounded from alcohol and heart-racing sex.

"Who might u be?" Squared up Ken to Gavin.

"I came to get my phone back from Barbie."

"Barbie? Is this true, Barbie, that you were with him yesterday?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhh-," Barbie would have lied, but Ken's icy stare intensified. He jumped to the glaringly obvious connections. He took one look at Gavin and knew he had sex with Barbie.

"I won't tolerate this chickening around. Bock bock! How about would get the man's phone alone and I'll be going going gone like the Honda sale?!" Threatened Ken.

No more love from Ken for Barbie. She gave up in horror as Ken ran melodramatically into the mansion to retrieve his cloths to cover up his tight abs. She awoken to this reality and ran inside crying for heaven's sake forever. Until even Ken had in a few minutes met Gavin outside and gave him a middle finger and kiss on the cheek saying, "take care of her, charlie." Charlie or Gavin was no spring chicken and knew what was going on. He wasn't about to be a father. He entered the opened door to the expensive and excellently pink mansion. His steps ringed heavier and heavier as he walked down the pink carpet and creaky floor boards.

"Yo, Barbie?" He yooed out, but it was to no avail. She lost her responsiveness. Gavin saw some bowls of soup on the kitchen table; three to be exact. The first one was too hot, the second too cold, but the third one was just right. Barbie's crying intensifying and Gavin's slurping of soup mixed in the air. After snooping around more and he spotted the car keys on the kitchen table. "What a convenient placement to get me out of here!" Laughed Gavin in the quiet neighborhood. He took his phone out of the phone charging station of Barbie's vehicle. He skipped his merry way back to the gas station accidentally leaving Barbie's car unlocked, which leaves it to be stolen from.

Everything was boring without Gavin. She made up her mind to like one man at a time and had fallen in love with him. When he arrived home that night, he checked his phone. He saw with his very own eyes that Barbie had not forgotten him in the least. She texted him every hour every 10 minutes he was gone, "sorry about everything, Vin." A little uncreative he thought to send the same text message word per word, but was fairly impressed by both her free time and dedication to treating him right. Barbie had fallen head over heels for Gavin without him ever saying a single word about himself.

Barbie returns to McDonald's for disappointing food and this time tries to win him back with it. The only way she knew into a man's heart was disappointing fast food. She handed the goodies to the Gavin and he would look at her then nod and say, "thanks, Barbie." She expected so much more, but there are still tons of fast food joints to patronize by purchasing. She tried Arby's the next day, then Wendy's, then Burger King's, then Subway's, then Pizza Hut, then Domino's, then Panda Express, and then Taco Bell (one of the last options). It was all spelling trouble for him, but still ate the food she bought him. She had felt starved for his love for she was deeply in love with him and this withdrawal from Gavin hurt her insides. When would Gavin love her more than her fast food? Soon she realized that there r tons of other guys at gas stations so she leave he. Then she came to another realization on her quest that in the end that she was queen without anybody and sends he letter about it.

Our story comes to a close. On Gavin's end, he somehow have a make out session with his conscience at dinner table FINALLY while everyone in family still is doing the same thing in the evening. The end.

I can not thank you enough for reading this! This is my first time writing a fanfiction!