Mistake
Chapter 11
"I just think we need to hold off before moving in together. I'm not saying it won't ever happen, and I can stay frequently, but I think you need some time with the kids." Maddie said as she plumped the pillows on Hannah's bed while Mike hung a photo.
"Just seems like a step back." Mike remarked.
"Mike; I've enjoyed this time together. I really have. But your priority has to be your kids right now. It can't be me." Maddie said.
"Without you here, what was the purpose of me buying a house in New Orleans?" Mike remarked before leaving the bedroom. Maddie was a bit surprised by his reaction, but she finished up in Hannah's room. Just before she shut the light off, she looked down at Hannah's dresser, where a photo of Christine was sitting.
What kind of a woman was Christine? Wife? Mother? Maddie wondered how she would ever add up and why Mike was picking her, of all people, to move on with. She hadn't even been able to keep Alex and Zoe alive, but Mike was trusting her with his two children, who had already been through so much.
There was an air of tension between them but Maddie did enjoy seeing how delighted Hannah and Billy were with their new house, or in Billy's case; his large back yard. Mike convinced her to stay the night and as soon as they climbed into bed, he pulled her onto his chest, not to have sex, but to just hold her.
"Are you okay?" Maddie asked.
"Yeah. Just wanted to hold you tonight. Thank you for staying." Mike said.
"Of course." Maddie answered. She leaned up and gave Mike a long kiss before settling.
Sometime through the night, Billy climbed in between them. Maddie was not familiar with having a kid sleeping in the same bed as her but it didn't seem to phase Mike and Billy cuddled up close. It was sweet and as Maddie ran her hand through Billy's red hair, she wondered if she would ever have a baby again of her own, maybe with that same red hair and those freckles.
Although Hannah was older, she was sweet too. Not quiet as cute as Billy, but sweet as well. She was thoroughly, a 'daddy's girl' and Mike adored her. Maddie knew she was attached to Hannah, Billy and Mike. She just had to trust herself again after losing so much.
The next morning, she went into the restaurant even though it was her day off and found her mom in the kitchen, working on a pot of gumbo. Music was blaring, since the restaurant was closed and Maddie pulled a chair up.
"Ah, how did the first night in the new house go?" Sarah asked as she tested the soup.
"Billy is a cuddler." Maddie remarked.
"He is a sweetheart. I already miss those cuddles." Sarah answered.
"How are you doing with this? I know you got close to Hannah and Billy." Maddie asked.
"I am fine. I knew there was a possibility that their family would appear and want to take them back. At least with Mike; I will still see them and they are almost like grandchildren." Sarah answered.
"Especially since at the rate I'm going, you won't have anymore of your own." Maddie answered.
"I thought you and Mike were getting pretty close. He seems to really care about you." Sarah remarked.
"He…does. He wants me to move in with him. I am just afraid to." Maddie admitted.
"Why? Because of Alex and Zoe?" Sarah asked.
"Mike didn't know them. Has nothing to do with them." Maddie said, hoping to throw her mom off-track.
"I think it has everything to do with this. You are afraid to move in and move on. Mike is a good man. He understands loss. Do you not think he has the same fears? He's lost a wife and two children. Years with Hannah and Billy. Honey, as much as I love you, you don't have the corner of grief. Neither does he, for that matter." Sarah asked.
"I…love him. I am just scared." Maddie admitted.
"You're scared to lose again and that is understandable. But, think about what you could gain?" Sarah suggested before giving Maddie a hug. Maddie tried to exude strength and confidence but with her mom holding her, walls started crashing down and she started crying into her mom's shoulder.