Hello! It has been a long time! I apologize for the wait, the last few years have been busy for me. I would like to thank all of my reviewers for their continuous support all these years and for being so patient. I have received all of your reviews and I am so grateful!

Chapter 12- Anxiety

Hiroki could hardly focus on his lecture. Every few minutes he found himself sighing, which caught the attention of his students. Once the whispers had begun, he announced the rest of the class was a study period, and excused himself from the room. Why the hell did he agree to meet Nowaki? This soon after his…guilt. He had gotten so angry that Nowaki had 'kissed' his coworker…but he did far worse with Tatsuya. As if to remind him of his shame, his hips twinged with an ache.

He looked at the clock as he entered the office, thankful that Miyagi was in a meeting right now and not there to taunt him about his expressions. The chair creaked beneath him as he sat in it, rolling it to his desk where he yet again sighed. He rested his elbows on the desk and his face fell into his palms. Why didn't he just go home last night? He had felt the gnawing feeling telling him to go all night, so why didn't he go? Was he that desperate not to be alone?

There was hysteria building in his chest, the anxiety thrummed in his ears as he envisioned their conversation. Him telling Nowaki he had slept with someone just days after their breakup…but then again he never formally broke up with him..so does this make it cheating? How would Nowaki look at him? Would it be the same loving expression he had given him all these years? Would it turn to disgust and betrayal?

The weight of it all had his chest tight. Maybe this is what was supposed to happen…perhaps their time had finally come. It wasn't like he believed in forever, not truly right?

A stinging formed in his eyes as he moved his hands, surprised to see the tears plopping down onto the table. God, he loved him so much…again and again…through all of their arguments…his stubbornness…Nowaki's persistence. He loved him. Nowaki was younger than him…what if he told him about Tatsuya..and Nowaki was ready to move on, put the hurt behind him and start anew..with Tsumori?

His thoughts were interrupted by the chime of the bell, announcing the end of the day for the students. He swallowed his anxiety and stood, wiping his eyes quickly as the door swung open to the office, Miyagi walking in with a notebook propped on his shoulder and annoyed expression. Though he always seemed to put on an annoying smile when he saw Hiroki.

"Leaving out for the day?" Miyagi asked, tossing his notebook on his desk and leaning against it, rubbing his temples. "You should real-"

"Stop furrowing my eyebrows…yeah." Hiroki interrupted and grabbed his coat, shoving his arms through the sleeves. He wrapped his scarf around his neck and buried his chin into its warmth. "Later"he said quietly.

Miyagi narrowed his eyes and sighed as the brunette walked down the hall.

Nowaki had stirred, his body heavy and unwilling. The alarm on his phone chiming loudly into the darkened room, announcing it was time to get up. He had nearly fallen back asleep when he remembered the purpose of waking at this time. He shot out of bed and was stepping into his pants, tugging his sweater on quickly as he went to the bathroom to straighten his unruly hair.
It was only then that he had caught sight of himself in the mirror, or actually paid attention to himself. Dark circles were under his eyes, his brows were creased in the middle, his shirt untidy. He looked like a man on the verge of a nervous breakdown. He sighed and brushed his teeth, washing his face with cool water to get him alert. He needed all of his willpower for this one.
He wouldn't leave that restaurant tonight without Hiroki in his arms.

After he was more presentable, Hiroki grabbed his phone and left the apartment. The air was cold and bit at his damp face. It helped him feel more alert, even if his body ached with the lack of sleep. It didn't matter, he wouldn't make the mistake again and be late for this meeting. This one was the last chance, and he knew that all too well. There was another person..sniffing around Hiroki..his Hiro-san. He couldn't bear the thought of them getting together.

How long had they been talking to each other? Did this Tatsuya chat Hiroki up whenever he didn't make it home in time? Did they go for drinks and dinner often when he had to cancel due to work? Have they had se-.

No.

He couldn't allow himself to believe that Hiroki would give himself to another so easily. The man was stubborn…and his love was pure. Inside of that prickly exterior, he was a romantic. He had always protected himself…afraid of being direct. It took them forever to reach this level of understanding in their relationship. He had to hold on to hope. Seven years was a long time. He knew Hiroki better than anyone.

Nowaki boarded the train, sitting down as he looked out the window. What could he say to Hiro? First thing first, he would apologize for Tsumori again. Then tell him it had been his bratty way of telling Hiroki he wasn't in charge. That it was childish. He also wanted to tell him that he was hurt…and just went about it the wrong way. Remind him that despite the trouble they have been through, and their heartaches, their overthinking..they would always pull through.

Both of them guilty egoists.

And that's the end of that chapter~ Sorry it is so short! I am just getting back into the swing of things and I'm trying to improve the delivery of the story! I look forward to your feedback~!