J
I was still smiling when I trotted downstairs to let Jason in. Lisa waited deeper inside the pub to avoid being photographed when I opened the front door. I kissed her one more time before leaving her standing near the edge of the bar.
It had been a good hour or so since Lisa spoke those three little words that made my heart sing, and I was still glowing. I didn't care how bad my face hurt from wearing this grin; I was completely, one-hundred and fifty percent in love with her.
Jason was surrounded by people as he waited for me to let him in. He had a friend with him - another boy who looked to be in his late teens, with shaggy brown hair and a few blemishes on his face.
"Hey Jason," Lisa's voice echoed mine. The boy had a garment bag slung over his shoulder and was wheeling a large suitcase behind him. His friend had a large duffle bag hanging off his shoulder and was carrying a large box in his hands.
"Hey Lis!" Jason said, parking the suitcase and extending a hand to shake Lisa's. "This is my friend, Shawn."
"Guys, this is my girlfriend, Jennie," Lisa said proudly, putting her arm around my shoulder.
We gathered up Lisa's things and carried them upstairs. Lisa set her large suitcase on the bed and unzipped it. All her clothes were just shoved into one big heap. I noticed the name on the luggage tag wasn't Lisa's – her tag read 'Shell-B Enterprises' with a Los Angeles address.
Lisa carried most of her stuff into the laundry room and then joined the two boys who were already making themselves at home on my furniture.
A few seconds later, Lisa came back into the bedroom. "I want to give them some money," she told me. She kissed me quickly after returning her wallet to the nightstand.
"Hey!" I called out, stopping her before she got too far. "I have that new video game system, if you guys want to play. It's all in the large drawer below the TV. There is a sports disc and a Ninja fighting game."
Lisa's face lit up with happiness.
I pulled the zipper open on her duffle bag and dumped it out on the bedroom floor. A moment of shock struck me when I saw the strip of condoms and an empty condom wrapper mingled in her stuff. I picked up the empty wrapper - the inside was dry. Seven were still intact.
I ran over the facts that I had on her so far. One, she slept with Lia, but that was over a year ago. Two, she was supposedly in a relationship with a wanna-be actress she knew from Pittsburgh, but that was before the Lia incident. Three, her last known girlfriend dumped her over the summer; and Four, Wendy had said that Lisa was the opposite of what Mina had accused her of being. Lisa had said to me once that it had been months. Months of what though? Not having sex? Not dating anyone?
I tried to remember the exact question I asked her while we were fishing - was she seeing someone. She said no, and to answer the question I wasn't asking - months. The question that remained in my mind was who was the lucky recipient of the used condom?
The front of her suitcase was lumpy, so I unzipped it and pulled out the contents. There were a few boarding pass stubs and luggage receipts mixed in with some used napkins and empty gum wrappers. Mixed in that were a few pairs of dirty socks. I slid my hand back inside the large pocket to make sure I had gotten everything when I felt my fingers bump into something stiff.
In my hand was an ordinary greeting card with the words "I Miss You" printed on the front above a picture of a setting sun. I opened the card; inside was a picture of Lisa cuddling with an actress I recognized immediately, Rosé Park. Long, silky brown hair with a stunning face and figure – it made me cringe to think she was with her once. Inside the card was a hand-written sentiment:
Here's something for you to think about while were apart!
Love Rosé
I stuck my hand back into the large pocket to see if there was an envelope, but the pocket was empty. I flipped the picture over; there was the answer I was looking for – February 9th of this year. I laughed to myself from the irony; that was right around the same time I found Mingyu in bed with that girl.
I quickly shoved the card and picture back down in the pocket and stuffed the pieces of ticket stubs and paper remnants on top of it. Even though I could hear her with Jason out in the living room, the last thing I wanted to do was get caught rummaging through her things.
I picked up the strip of condoms and shoved them back in her empty duffle bag.
That action led to another thought – every time Lisa made love to me, not once did she use protection. She never even attempted to put a condom on – ever. She knew I was taking birth control pills, but yet she was still taking chances. She obviously used condoms before with other women – but why not with me? Why was I different?
Our lovemaking had always been spontaneous and unrestricted, and we certainly didn't hold a lot of conversations during our moments to talk about birth control. Why did neither one of us seem concerned with whether or not I got pregnant?
--
"Jen, where are you going?" Lisa asked as I opened my apartment door.
I looked at her with the thoughts of unprotected lovemaking still in my mind.
"I'm going to see if the mail came," I quickly answered. She sprang to my side in a few quick steps.
"You're not going outside, are you?" she muttered under her breath.
"No. Mail slot is in the front door. The mail gets delivered at three thirty."
"Phew," she sighed. "Please don't go out unless you absolutely must. There are too many fans out there right now."
Inside my door, I saw a larger pile of mail than normal. Lying on top of my mail were cards simply addressed to Lisa Manoban. I shook my head in disbelief.
She smiled quickly at me when I returned, then resumed her actions with the controller. She and Jason were playing the ninja game, both of them were swinging and punching their controllers in the air. It was slightly amusing watching them play.
"This is like a freaking workout!" Lisa groaned.
I sorted through the mail; Electric bill, two credit card solicitations, new clothing magazine, and a few other random pieces of junk mail were mixed in with her fan mail.
I held up the envelopes that were addressed to Lisa and waved them in the air.
"What's that?" she asked, swinging her arm to kill the pretend bad guy on the television screen.
"Lisa Manoban fan mail," I announced.
"You're kidding!" she scoffed. "Just throw them in the trash."
I was dying of curiosity to see what her fans were writing to her about. "Can I open one?"
She grimaced at me. "Why the hell would you want to do that? Honey, you really don't want to see that. Just throw them away." She laughed. "Good hit, Jay!"
I figured she really didn't care, so I ripped open the top envelope. Inside was a card with hearts drawn on it and the girl who sent it even conveniently enclosed her picture with a phone number. She was right; these women were beyond delusional.
"What do you think, Honey? Is that psychotic fan the one for me?" she laughed, eyeing me as I looked at the girl's picture.
"Maybe! She looks sort of desperate!" I teased.
"Can I see?" Jason reached for the picture. "Dude, look at this chick!" she handed the picture to Shawn.
"Damn!" Shawn choked. "She's a two bagger!"
Lisa started laughing. "Okay, let me see." She put the game on pause and pulled the picture out of Shawn's hand.
"What's a two bagger?" I asked.
Jason was laughing too hard to respond.
"A two bagger is where the chick is so ugly that you both have to wear bags over your heads. That way if her bag falls off while you're doing her, you don't get blinded by the ugly," Shawn explained.
"Are there any more pictures?" Jason asked.
I pulled the envelopes out of the trash can and opened them one by one. I didn't bother to pull the cards out; I just looked inside for pictures.
There were four pictures altogether. One of the fans was gracious enough to show her breasts in her picture. I handed them all over to the guys. I looked in the last envelope to make sure I didn't miss an enclosure when I noticed that a picture of some girl was glued to the inside of the card.
Oh my God. I gasped and pulled the entire card out of the envelope. There she was, the curly-haired, gap-toothed, psycho fan. The card was covered in glossy snippets of Lisa's face that she obviously cut out of many different magazines. She had included her face in some of the pictures next to her face, replacing Mina's face with her own. Scribbled all around their pictures were "I Love You" and "I Love Blake" sentiments. Her name was Angel.
Visions of this whacko taking the time to cut out Lisa's face and glue each piece to this card freaked me out. It felt hard to swallow. I couldn't get the card out of my hand quick enough; my fingers fumbled it into the garbage can and I ran to the bathroom to wash my hands. Fear and panic struck me; this was beyond admiration, and this particular psycho fan was just outside my front door.
I was shaking slightly as I folded Lisa's clothing that I gathered from the dryer. I could clearly see why she was terrified. For a moment, I was terrified too. I placed her clean clothing on the bed while my emotions did a slow boil. How dare they, all of them, do this to her… to us!
I grabbed my cell phone and marched to the front window. There were so many people down on the street you would have thought we were having a street fair.
"Yes, this is Jennie Kim. I'm calling from 114 South Fourth Street, Kim's Pub. I'd like to report a large crowd blocking street traffic. There are also a lot of people loitering in front of my business. I'd like them to be told to leave. Thank you."
Lisa chuckled to herself. "Calling the cops doesn't help, but if it made you feel better, then I guess it's worth a try."
"How about a high pressure fire hose?" I muttered, peeking out behind the blind.
"I can get you some stink bombs," Jason offered. Lisa grimaced at him. "No, I'm serious. The special effects trailer is loaded with cool shit."
Jason's comment about the movie set reminded me of another phone call I had to make. I called Asahi.
Not only did I want him to cover my absence while Lisa's parents were in town, but having a man working in the bar suddenly sounded very reassuring.
"Dude, we're gonna roll," Jason said on his way to the door, slapping his hand into Lisa's.
I led them down the stairs so I could turn the alarm off once again.
"Jason, thank you so much for all your help. I truly appreciate it."
"No problem." Jason smiled back at me. "I'm glad to see it all worked out for her." He motioned his head back to Lisa.
As the boys left, I could see a few police officers moving everyone along. I was thankful that the police made the vans across the street move too. They were at metered parking spots; unfortunately after six p.m., the parking meters were no longer valid.
I returned to my laundry detail; Lisa helped fold some of her clothes. I moved the shirts she picked out of the boxes from the washer to the dryer.
"Jennie, we need to talk," she said, leading me back to the bedroom.
I had no idea what she wanted to talk about. She sat me down on the bed.
"I was wondering how you felt about me staying here. Wherever I am, that follows." She tilted her head towards the living room. "I'm worried about how it affects you and, well, your business."
I shrugged her comment off. I was more concerned about her safety than mine.
"Lisa, I'm fine with you staying here. I guess I just overreacted a bit when I saw how your fans terrorize you. It angered me. At least when you're here, I can protect you.
"To be honest, I love having your arms around me at night and waking up next to you in the morning. After all, isn't that what it's about anyway – two people, in love, together?"
She picked my hand up in her and smiled. "Yeah, it is! But unfortunately the fans and the paparazzi – they follow," she reminded.
"I know, and I don't care. I do care about you though." I looked directly into her eyes.
"Hmm," she lightly purred, apparently pleased by my comment. "So you're okay with this?"
"Yeah!" I smiled and nodded.
She took a deep breath. "Then how would you feel if I told you I wanted to stay here more? Maybe even every night?"
I swallowed while the exhilaration from her question flooded my heart and circled confusion in my brain.
"What?" I breathed out. "Are you saying you want to move in with me?" My sheer surprise came out as a whisper.
"Well, I was just thinking that when I'm done working, instead of going to the hotel, I could come here. This is where I want to be anyway. What do you think?" she asked hesitantly, biting her bottom lip.
I took a deep breath, gathering my words before I spoke. Was she even allowed to do something like this while under contract to film? I had to ask. "I think…"
Her cell phone rang on the nightstand. "Shit, hold that thought…" She looked at the number and took the call.
"David, hey. I'm doing great! Yeah, I have a minute." Lisa covered her phone with her hand. "My manager," she whispered to me.
Her face morphed from an elated smile to a look of disgust in an instant.
"No, I didn't move out of the hotel. I don't know why they called you. I just had all my things retrieved so I could wash my clothes, that's all," she sighed.
I watched Lisa start to rub her forehead. She walked out of the bedroom but she didn't go far; I could still hear every word clearly.
"I've been staying at Jennie's," I heard her confess.
Apparently her manager knew about me.
"I'll take my chances. You know, David, I just don't give a shit anymore. I am so sick and tired of hiding and having every fucking detail of my life become public knowledge." Lisa's voice became louder, distressed.
"I'm done with being locked up in some hotel like a prisoner. I'm sick of it! It's been like this for over two years. I'm going out of my mind! I want to have a normal relationship with someone for once.
"Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm no longer allowed to have a personal life," she responded defensively. "I wish someone would have told me that I'm not allowed to have a fucking life at all because I sure don't remember seeing that clause in any of my contracts!"
I stood there, motionless, listening to her shout in the hallway. My pulse quickened and my hands started to tremble, knowing I was the reason for her defensiveness.
"Fine, then if that's the case, inform the studio that I'll pay for my own security. Do that, 'cause I'm not living in lockdown anymore. I can't… deal with it."
She sighed. "Why? So I can have more of my clothes mysteriously disappear? I'll do my own laundry. I don't want strangers touching my clothing – it creeps me out.
"I'm pretty sure she knows what she's gotten herself into. The paparazzi have been onto her for weeks and that was before we were seen together publicly.
"I don't care what the media says about me. The only person I'm worried about, the only person I care about is Jennie.
"Don't worry about me. I'm staying focused. They're getting a quality performance." Lisa was irritated. "I've seen all the dailies – they look great. Kenneth hasn't said a word to me about it; I would hope the director would tell me if he had concerns!
"Are you kidding me? If they want to discuss things with me, then they can come here. No, you listen to me, David. I'll fucking walk away before I let anyone dictate my life. I'm pretty sure I can live quite comfortably on the twenty million I already have in the bank.
"I'm the one trying to be a professional here! She's probably pissed that she can't just knock on my hotel room door to get my attention anymore.
"If the third movie sucks then I suggest they start pointing their finger in the proper direction. I'm regretting ever signing on for this project. Yeah, I know David. All right."
I dumped the clean load of white laundry onto the bed – a reflex to make it look like I wasn't listening intently. She stopped in the doorway and leaned on the frame with her arms folded across her chest.
I didn't say anything. I knew she was upset. I think she sensed I was too. How else could I be?
"I know you heard my conversation," she said softly.
"I'm making things difficult for you," I whispered, fighting back my tears of guilt.
"No," she said, shaking her head to disagree. "You're the only thing that's keeping me sane."
"I don't see how that's possible," I said somberly, diverting my attention to separating the laundry.
Lisa stepped to my side and took her socks out of my clenched hands.
"Do you love me?" she asked emphatically, her eyes piercing. Her fingers lifted my chin. "I mean really love me?"
"Yes! Yes I do," I stated, looking directly into her eyes. "With all of my heart."
A smile touched her lips.
"You know that my life is anything but normal. So I'm going to ask you one more time. Are you sure you're okay with this – me staying here with you?"
"Are you allowed to stay here?" I half expected her to say no. "Will they allow it?"
"I'm a grown person. I'll do what I want." She rubbed my arms.
"You're breaching your contract," I said, assuming it was in the fine print somewhere.
"They are required to pay me and assure my safety and comfort. I'm not going to let them own me. Jennie, I want to be with you, if you'll have me."
Her mesmerizing brown eyes stared straight into my soul, searching for my reaction.
"I'll make some room so you have a place for your things." I kept my tone low.
"Jennie, that's not what I asked." She snatched me gently by the wrist.
Overwhelming guilt was rolling in on me now.
"Lisa, I want you here more than you can ever imagine. But I also know that there are reasons why you are kept hidden and guarded in your hotel room. I'm afraid that if you stay here, then everything the studio has arranged for you will be jeopardized. You already have enough stress because of me."
"Because of you? Are you serious? Why do you keep saying that?"
I shrugged, wondering why it wasn't blatantly obvious to her like it was to me. "The trouble with Mina, and now with your manager and the studio people… not to mention the things that the tabloids will print about you being with me. That surely is going to cause problems for you. I don't want to damage your career, Lisa!"
She laughed at me. "Oh, Honey! You are not the cause of my stress. And all the press about our relationship is doing the opposite of damaging my career, so please stop thinking that way! Sweetheart, you are the only thing keeping me from jumping off the roof!"
I rolled my eyes.
"I don't care about any of that. And I'll hire my own security team if it ever comes down to it." She shrugged. "Regardless, that's not for you to worry about."
I looked at her, slightly shocked. "Despite what you say, I will worry about it. Anything that troubles you troubles me."
She sighed heavily.
"Jennie, I think you realize by now that being involved with me comes at a hefty price. I told you before it was difficult for me to have any kind of relationship, and all of this bullshit is why. I hope and pray that in a year or so when I'm done with this trilogy and move on to other projects that this craziness will die down. But right now, it is what it is. Security teams, secrets, lies, hiding, insane schedule, it comes with the territory. It's my life."
She took my hand in her. "My crazy life is going to become your crazy life. It's happening already. Are you willing to put up with all the craziness and nonsense and love me anyway?"
I did not hesitate with my reply. "Yes, absolutely," I breathed out. "What about you? Are you willing to do the same? Put up with all the nonsense to keep loving me?"
"Absolutely! Without question!" she grinned.
Lisa's warm hand brushed across my neck, pulling me in for a kiss.
It was almost seven o'clock when Fred called to inform me that they were parking almost two blocks away since my street was quite busy.
Lisa and I waited in the dark bar for our friends. I didn't want to turn the lights on and give the paparazzi any reason to wake up prematurely. Lisa looked adorable in my dad's gray flannel shirt and a fresh white T-shirt underneath. She called her bodyguard Mike and made arrangements to get picked up in the morning. I was elated knowing that she was definitely staying with me tonight.
I stood by the door, waiting for their knock, although I didn't need to wait – the moment they paused at my door the cameras started to flash.
"Hurry, come in." I waved, trying to hide as best I could behind most of the door.
It angered me that the paparazzi were taking pictures of anyone who entered my pub. A twinge of panic ebbed up my spine thinking about how things would be tomorrow when I had to unlock the doors to let the public inside.
Fred was balancing three pizza boxes in front of him. "All right, where's the fucking President?" he called out.
I turned the lights on and Fred nodded to Lisa, who was leaning on the bar.
"Oh, hey Lisa!" Fred boomed. "You see the President around here?"
"Only Presidents that are here are in my pocket, Fred." Lisa shook his hand.
"Rumor has it that Brad Pitt is visiting," Hyunji joked on her way in. "Oh, it's just you, Lisa. Somebody should go out there and tell them that Brad isn't in the building. What a freaking disappointment."
"Nice to see you too, Hyunji!" she squeezed her shoulders and pretended to choke her.
"Gary, good to see you, man!" Lisa shook Gary's hand.
"Hey Lisa! Ready to lose big tonight?" Gary teased.
Tammy gave me a hug with one arm; she had a cake pan with a lid on it in her other hand. She gave Lisa a one-arm hug too. "I made a new dessert I'd like everyone to try."
Fred placed the pizzas on our big, center table. The aroma of melted mozzarella and tomato sauce filled the room and everyone was mentioning how hungry they were. I tapped a pitcher of beer and we all took our familiar seats to eat and drink.
Lisa grabbed a slice and stood up from the table.
"Fred, can I talk to you a minute?" she motioned with her head for Fred to follow her. The two of them disappeared into the kitchen. I wondered what that was all about.
"Jennie, there are a lot of people out there." Hyunji nodded to the door. She looked over her shoulder to see where Lisa was. "How long has the crowd been there?"
"Since yesterday. Lisa and I went to Jaehyun and Wendy's for dinner. Her fans coated my car with love notes too."
"How can she stand that?" Tammy asked, shuddering from the thought.
"It's difficult. Those girls out there are all whacko! One of them grabbed her arm when we were speed-walking to my car. I was actually relieved that we were surrounded by the photographers; it was like they created a circle around us to keep the girls out."
"I know, I saw the pictures," Hyunji whispered. "Jen, you're on the freaking Internet! Just search for her name and the pictures they took come right up. You looked great, by the way. I liked the gray sweater dress with your leather jacket and black boots."
For a moment everything went dim. I felt like I could pass out from hearing the confirmation that my picture was now on the Internet, forever associated to Lisa Manoban.
Lisa and Fred walked out of the kitchen; they were both laughing at something, although Fred looked a little worried.
I squinted at Lisa and gave her a questioning nod. She leaned over and spoke quietly in my ear.
"I gave Fred a few bucks for the plywood and I paid him for the pizzas. And I thanked him for being a great friend and for taking care of the window and everything."
I squeezed her leg. Lisa was truly a good person, down to the core.
After we finished eating, we started our usual game of poker.
"How's your business doing, Tammy?" Lisa asked somewhat over-casually, tossing her cards into the center of the table.
"Good! It's hard to keep up though, trying to make all the food in our kitchen at home. Hopefully I'll get a few more jobs and then we might be able to afford looking for a shop somewhere."
"Why don't you let her use your kitchen, Jen?" Lisa suggested. "You have that huge kitchen back there that you don't use."
My memory recalled conversations I had with Fred about that and the reasons why it never happened. I was also wise enough to sense I was being set up. I launched my counter-defense.
"I've thought about that before, Lisa, but the kitchen as it stands isn't fit for cooking and baking. New gas lines need to be run and all the appliances need to be replaced. Even the copper piping needs to be removed and replaced. It's an expensive disaster back there. That's why I don't serve food in the bar."
"Well, look into it and see how much it would cost," Lisa stated.
I shook my head, wondering why she cared and hoping she would let it go.
"What?" she asked.
I leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Please drop it. I can't. I already have one huge loan I'm paying on for the renovations I did to the poolroom, stage, and sound system. I can't afford it."
"I'm sure we can figure something out," she dismissed.
"Figure what out?" I wondered.
She tapped me in the foot and scratched her nose.
Several rounds of poker later, I was losing big-time. My game was off tonight; I had a hard time reading everyone's tells. Lisa smiled devilishly every time she won more of my chips.
"A few more hands like this and you'll have to ante with clothing," Lisa slyly suggested, kicking me in the foot.
"I'm not drunk enough for strip poker," I muttered.
Lisa abruptly sat up and joked, "Where's the tequila?"
"Not so fast! I still have a few chips left!" I defended.
"Yeah, but not for long," Lisa teased. "All you have to do is ask. I'll be glad to loan you a few chips. We can even call it a favor if you'd like."
I smirked at her.
"Speaking of favors…" Lisa continued, making her general announcement. "I have a favor to ask of all of you." She looked around the table at my friends. "My parents are coming to town this Wednesday and they'll be staying here until Monday. We want to take them to dinner and spend as much time as possible with them." She smiled at me. "I was hoping you'd let me steal Jennie away for the entire weekend. Do you guys think you could handle a few days without her?"
I glowered at the table. I could not believe she just did that. She didn't even give me an opportunity. I suppose she thought that I would chicken out.
"Of course!" Hyunji answered immediately.
I knew exactly what she was thinking just by the way she looked at me. It was a combination of "Oh my God" and "Holy Shit" followed by a lot of high-pitched, excited screams. This was a big step – Lisa freakin' Manoban was introducing me to her parents.
I hadn't even told her that she was sort of staying with me. That round of screaming would have to wait.
I had serious doubts whether or not they could handle Halloween weekend on their own. This was a big occasion for Kim's Pub, and I felt guilty as sin for sticking them with it.
"I have bands booked for Friday and Saturday. Asahi will be working every night this week too." I looked at Hyunji and sighed. She smiled and winked at me.
"I can help out," Tammy added. She was also grinning excitedly at me.
"Are you guys sure? I really feel bad…" I started my apology but Hyunji cut me short.
"Jennie! It's okay! We can handle it. Fred will keep a head count. We'll just make sure that we don't overcrowd the place, that's all," Hyunji confirmed. "Besides, we can always post a sign out front that says she went away for the weekend so don't bother looking for her in here." She pointed at Lisa.
"If you think it will help!" Lisa winked.
Fred cleared his throat. "Well, as long as we are sharing good news, Tammy and I have an announcement to make."
For some reason when he spoke I wasn't surprised. I knew something was up. All night Fred and Tammy were gazing lovingly at each other, like they were protecting some deep, dark secret.
"Tammy and I have officially set a date for our wedding!"
"We're getting married on Saturday, September 4th!" Tammy gushed, looking into Fred's eyes.
I noticed Lisa fidget in her chair. The air that she breathed out of her nose was audible, but a little smirk appeared on her lips. I wondered which word did her in.
Was it the word "married" or "wedding" that caused her to squirm?