2brown-eyes is the bestest of the best!

NOW
JUNE 1993

Faithfully—Journey

Amazing Grace

"Bella," Alice calls, hurrying from Jasper's Pinto so she can run into my open arms. "I'm so sorry you had to face this without me. You should've had them hunt me down earlier."

I close my eyes and drink her in. I need my best friend more than anything today as we lay my father to rest. "I'm just glad you're here now."

She pulls back, studying my face. "I'm not leaving your side for the rest of the summer."

"Good." I hook my elbow with hers as she walks me to Mom's car so we can head to the funeral home to prepare for the graveside service. "I'm really sorry about your trip."

"No worries," she says, pausing to face me. "We had a great time, but you're way more important."

I pull her in for another hug. "Go get changed and I'll see you at the service."

"I won't be long."

I nod and duck into Renee's station wagon.

Mom's Journey cassette is in the player and Faithfully sounds from the speakers. She looks at me, a small smile lifting her lips, and cranks the volume. Dad bought her the tape for Christmas three years ago, so any song would've done, but this is one of their favorites.

"It's all going to be okay," I murmur to myself since Mom can't hear.

She's too busy singing into her fist as she drives. The heaviness lifts, and even though today is going to kill me, tomorrow already looks brighter.

From the funeral home, we pile into the offered limo and follow the large police procession filled with local and state officers to the cemetery for Sheriff Charlie Swan's graveside service. Cars already line the drive as we arrive and drawn faces watch as we pass. I can barely look as his deputies carry the flag-draped coffin to the bier for the service. By the time the ceremony starts, the place is so packed that it seems like the entire town of Forks has turned out.

It's a sign of respect.

And my dad would've loved it.

If he's still present somewhere, he is loving it.

Waylon Forge plays Amazing Grace on the harmonica after the 21-gun salute, and it's beautiful. Afterward, Mom stands to speak about Dad and silent tears stream down my face. Mayor McCarty goes next, and then a couple of others. I don't volunteer when the opportunity presents itself. I love my dad dearly, but I'm just not ready to speak about him yet, especially publicly.

I zone out during most of the eulogy, not wanting to let myself fall into a pit of despair. When my mom stands, I know the service is over and I follow suit, snapping out of my stupor. Alice is right there to hold me together, and a group of my friends is already gathering in the distance away from the adults.

"Do you wanna…" My best friend tilts her head.

"Sure, gimme a sec."

I go to my mom and let her know I'm riding to The Lodge with Alice. The eating portion of the service is being held there, and even though I'm not hungry, it's something I need to attend.

On the way to join the group of friends where Jasper is waiting, Edward calls my name from the back row of chairs as we pass. I pause, noticing Bree is standing beside him, her demeanor devoid of her usual pep.

I get the occasion doesn't call for that.

But this looks different.

She's openly glaring at me.

"Who the fuck is that?" Alice whisper-shouts as she looks from Edward to me.

"Long story," I mumble as he strides our way. "Let me see what he wants."

"That bitch better school her face," my best friend snaps, throwing her own glare at Bree.

"It's okay," I say, touching her arm. "I'll explain everything tonight. You staying over?"

"Damn right, I am."

I laugh, and it feels good.

Edward takes my arm and guides us to the side, away from prying ears. And damn, Alice is trying her level best to eavesdrop. Her neck is stretched so far our way, I'm surprised she isn't tipping over.

"Hi," I say carefully as I look up at him.

"I wanted to let you know how sorry I am about Charlie," he says, palming his neck. "I loved him too, ya know."

"I do know." I blink faster to keep the tears at bay. "And he loved you right back."

"Yeah… " He looks out over my head for a beat, then brings his eyes back to mine. "I told Bree."

"Ahhh, that's why she looks like she wishes me dead."

He huffs a laugh. "Can you blame her?"

"No." I pull my arms around myself because this is causing an entirely different kind of heartache to take hold. "But my guess is she doesn't feel quite the same about you."

"I swore to her that I love her and want to be with her." He looks me dead in the eyes as he says this, and little, tiny cracks widen into deep chasms. "I chose her."

"I just want you to be happy," I say quietly.

"She makes me happy," he replies, bobbing his head. "I don't know if it's the same level of happy…"

"Don't," I say, fighting back tears. "Please."

He steps forward and closes me in a tight hug. "That friend thing is never going to happen between us, is it?"

I huff a laugh as he pulls away. "Not on your life."

"Guess I'll catch you on the flip side." His lips twitch as he takes a step back.

"Bye, Edward."

He turns around and I watch him walk all the way back to her before I'm bombarded by Alice. "Looks like we have loads to talk about."

I link arms with my best friend. "You don't know the half of it."

Poor Alice, in the dark!

And he told Bree, which I know some of you thought should happen. We're all caught up with THEN & NOW, so WDBHG will be all now.

See you tmr for the epi :)