AN: Here's the last little bit of the Skuld stuff for a while lol. Next we move on to...well, some big stuff involving everyone's favorite Princess of Heart...You'd better say Kairi lol. xD Kinda have to get back to the main character of this whole series! :D
Only a day after Master Luxu had revealed to Skuld and Ven the fates of both Brain and Ephemer (and others), Skuld found herself in the world of Radiant Garden.
She'd been too troubled to focus on any sort of training - so she'd given up on it, and left the Land of Departure behind instead.
She wasn't even sure of where she was going or what she wanted to do. She just...
She didn't know.
Skuld stood atop the stone wall surrounding the city, gazing out at the blue, barren land beyond it. The great valley, the canyons and chasms winding into the horizon...
She sighed, brushed at her hair, and turned around to sit down with her back to the parapet. She opened up her journal, propped it against drawn-in knees, and pulled pen from pocket - and she began to write. Every thought she was having (had been having, ever since yesterday). Horrible, ugly, petty thoughts - but she wrote them all down anyways. The accusations, the assumptions, the hurt and the anger and the jealousy...
She wielded that pen like her blade, trying to tear the pages apart.
But, in the aftermath, she didn't feel any better about herself. She set the journal aside and sat back against the cool stone, placing her hands over her face. Pressing her palms into her eyes...
She screwed her face up tight as she felt tears coming again - this time, tears of shame - but they came anyways.
"Are you...all right?" a quiet, hesitant voice said suddenly.
Skuld lowered her hands and opened her eyes again, to see Isa standing before her. Horribly embarrassed now, she wiped at her eyes and did her best to readjust her hair, running her fingers through the strands. She wanted to just tell him yes. Or say nothing at all. But...
"No," she admitted quietly.
Isa shuffled his feet, looking as uncomfortable as her. But- "Would you like to- talk about it?" he got out, awkward and slow.
Skuld dropped her head. She picked up her journal and opened it up again - then held it out to Isa.
The man stepped in and took it from her. But he didn't look at it. He looked at her - then away. And then he sighed, and he sat down beside her, against the stone parapet atop the wall. He glanced down at the journal, his gaze skimming across the pages. When he was finished, he gave it back to her and clasped his hands together in his lap. "There seems to be...a lot going on in your Heart right now," he spoke hesitantly.
Skuld nodded. "What does it say about her - that she did that? Was it just to be cruel? Petty? To hurt me? And what does it say about E-Ephemer...that he- chose her like that? Did he only choose her because of how alike we've always looked? Did he look at her, and see me...?"
Isa blinked at her, a pink tinge flooding his face. He coughed loudly, glancing away again. "I...well- that's-"
"And why should any of it matter now? What reason do I have to be so upset?" Skuld continued. "It was thousands of years ago by now. It was done and over long before I...returned to this World. It's pointless to feel any of this."
"I disagree," said Isa, in a murmur.
Skuld looked at Isa sharply. He flushed deeper, but he held her gaze with something strong, with a sharpness of his own.
"I think there is a point," Isa went on. "I think the point...is that you do exist here now - today - and so long as you exist you're...entitled to feel any way you like about this. To have the time to think on it, and to- process it."
"She was my sister, and he was my best friend - the boy that I..." Skuld couldn't bear to finish the sentence. The thought. The emotion.
"I can't say I know either of them whatsoever - but, don't you think you're assuming the worst of them?" Isa said carefully. "Unless they were genuinely terrible people, I don't think it's exactly-"
"No, you're right! I'm the only one being terrible right now!" Skuld cried. "I'm an awful person for this, aren't I?"
"No more than me," said Isa softly, shaking his head. "It's not on the same level, but I understand some of what you're feeling. The bitterness, the jealousy - the envy. I let my feelings consume me...and caused me to be absolutely horrible to several undeserving people - two children, most of all. And that's not even to mention the damage it did to...myself. My own Heart. These feelings are normal, yes - but they need to be accepted and put aside, all the same, or you'll end up like me. I wouldn't want to see that happen to you...Skuld."
"How can these feelings be normal? I feel terrible."
"Well - because everyone feels them. But feeling...terrible things...doesn't make you a terrible person. It's what you do that decides that. So what are you going to do? Feel them, let them run their course, or...let them become all that you feel?"
"I don't want to feel this way," Skuld sighed. "I want to let them go..."
"Then you will - in time," Isa assured.
"Who was it that made you feel this way?" Skuld asked suddenly.
Isa sighed, too. "Too many people - people who never deserved my cruelty and pettiness. Roxas, Namine, and even Lea, were my main targets, though. I'd thought I was losing Lea to Roxas, but really I only had myself to blame. I was the one pushing him away, hurting him. He didn't do anything wrong. None of them did. And now...I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell him any of this - to try and make amends with him for it all. He's still out there somewhere, and Xehanort must still have some sort of hold over him...and here I am, doing nothing about it."
"You want to find him - to save him."
"Yes. Though, my track record for rescues is terrible - as you well know..." Isa muttered.
"Then I'll help," Skuld said firmly. "I have to try and save him, like he tried to save me. I have to repay him that - even if I fail, too."
"No, I- I couldn't ask you to- he's my responsibility-" Isa began to protest.
"I don't need you to," Skuld replied, turning to meet his gaze. "I'm still a Keyblade wielder, and I still have a duty. A duty to help people - to save them. That makes him my responsibility, too. And I'm going to carry out that duty whether you want me there or not."
Isa stared at her for a moment. Then he gave a soft laugh, and nodded to her. "Of course. My apologies. I...appreciate the help."
"I appreciate yours," Skuld responded, with a small smile curving her lips now. She indicated her journal.
Isa continued to gaze at her. Then he blinked, shaking his head again. "Apologies if this is out of line, but you seem to be- doing a lot better than you were even a few days ago."
"Thank you," Skuld said simply.
Isa smiled now, too. "You're...welcome. And...thank you, Skuld."
"You're welcome, too, Isa."
