A/N: Another disclaimer here. There's some more direct book material in this chapter. I've really enjoyed writing what it might have been like for the Cullens on the other side of Bella's experience in these chapters. A lot of things I included, like where they move and what they decided to do during their time away from Forks, are directly from the book. Anyway, enjoy! We're only one chapter away from the start of what will basically be Part II of this story.

As always, all of your following/favorites/reviews for this story are so very appreciated :) Your support has been awesome!

….

Earthshine

Chapter XXII

"Aftermath"

…

"Musing through memories, losing my grip in the grey. Numbing the senses, I feel you slipping away. Fighting to hold on, clinging to just one more day. Love turns to ashes." - Steel Daggers

…

[Edward]

After leaving the party, I hadn't managed to keep my frozen expression from slipping. I sounded broken when I spoke to Bella and I feared she would see through me to the reason. I wasn't sure I'd have the ability to leave if she caught on and begged me not to leave her. I prayed she wouldn't guess at what my sadness meant. Not until I had time to strengthen myself enough to do this.

She had asked me to stay with her for the night and, though I felt uncertain about it, believing it would be for the best if I didn't, I obliged her. I decided to take these last few, pleasant moments with her and fully allow myself to appreciate them. I decided to make the final hours of her birthday as wonderful as I could.

She loved my gift, which I delighted in. It brought tears to her eyes, listening to my music, and I had genuinely smiled and held her tighter in my arms. I savored every single second, knowing my life would never again equal what I had right here. I was pleased that the sadness in my voice was gradually replaced with the joy I felt in just being with her. Years and years of acting had given me the ability to wear whatever mask I needed, so I wore the mask of simple delight.

When she lied down to go to sleep and asked me to kiss her, I did so more fervently than usual, knowing it would be the last time I ever did. It was my goodbye to her. My farewell.

I lingered beside her as she dozed off, memorizing every detail of her face.

"I love you, Bella." I whispered.

My mind then turned to how, exactly, I would end things. Which would be easier? Simply disappearing? No. She might worry about what had happened to me. Or, if she guessed that I'd decided to leave her, she might hope I would decide to come back.

No. She needed to be able to move on. She could not be allowed to hope.

My mind turned to my medical training. When bones were broken, the cleanest breaks healed the fastest. It would be more painful at first, but she would recover more quickly.

And how to make it clean? I had to sever all ties. I had to remove anything that would cause her to hang on. My presence, my family's presence, the gifts we'd just given her, and…even my very love for her. I didn't know if it was possible to convince her that I no longer had these feelings, I wasn't sure I could manage that grave of a lie, but I had to try. It would be worth it. She would have nothing left to hold her to me. To chain her to me.

My face twisted in agony as I continued to stare at Bella, knowing I was going to have to put on the performance of a lifetime. I had to make myself appear detached. Uninterested. I had to pull a complete one-eighty on her. And I had to make her believe me. I would have to be cold and I would have to be cruel. But for her sake I could do it. I could do anything if it was for her benefit.

By the end, I would make it so that neither me, or my family, had ever intruded on her life. It would be like some forgotten dream. Like we'd never even existed.

As it should be.

I traced a hand down her face, watching her stir, before my eyes fell to her bandaged arm. Seeing the wound resolved me all over again.

I slowly rose and left her side, hardly believing it had been the last time I would lie beside her. I moved to the window, glanced back in agony, then jumped down and disappeared into the darkness.

I ran home, focused singularly on what I had to do. I didn't make room for doubt, as that would only prevent me from following through.

"He's coming," I heard Alice say as I approached.

My family emerged from the house together and Carlisle looked at me gently.

"What is it you need us to do?" He asked. There was no judgement, no condemnation, only a willingness to do whatever I felt was right. His unconditional support would never fail to move me.

"We have to leave Forks. All of us." I felt myself grimace with pain and Esme immediately came forward and wrapped her arms around me, smoothing a hand over my hair.

"Are you certain?" She asked.

"Yes," I answered brokenly. "This is how it has to be so she can move on." I looked up at my father. "A clean break."

He nodded solemnly. "I'll make the arrangements. We can be out of here by morning."

So soon? Alice stiffened. "Can't we say goodbye?" She looked at me imploringly.

I shook my head. "I think that will only make things worse. Please, don't contact her after we're gone. We need to completely remove ourselves from her life. I'll need a few days here though, I need to try and ease her into it so she's more likely to believe me when I tell her that I-" I paused and took a breath. "When I tell her I no longer love her."

Even Rose winced at my words, unable to help but sympathize with my pain. Jasper clutched his chest, the onslaught of my emotions deeply stabbing him as well.

Man, this is the worst. Emmett was thinking. Even if he'd been questioning mine and Bella's relationship, I knew he hadn't wanted things to end this way. To go this badly. But I'd tried and failed to make them understand just how painful her absence from life would be. How impossible it was to be happy without her.

Esme stepped away, but held my hand with a sad supportive smile. Carlisle came forward and brought a hand to my shoulders, eyes deeply wise and filled with compassion for both me and Bella.

"If you feel this is right, I'm with you all the way, Edward. I'm so sorry it has come to this, but I understand your reasons. If this is meant to be, I have faith you'll find a way to feel happy again. To rest in knowing you did what was right."

I nodded numbly, unable to see the light as he did. But as I stared into my father's steady, timeless eyes, eyes I trusted more than any other's, I felt the little hope I'd felt on that thunderstorm afternoon with Vitalia spring up alive in my chest again. The faint belief that I could achieve what Carlisle had. He had been dealt a cruel hand too and he had sought countless ways to end his immortal life before he finally decided on a different way. A better way. He devoted himself to a life of service. To sacrifice. I remembered my thoughts that afternoon…that maybe doing right would eventually comfort me. That I would stop resenting it and find a greater sense of purpose and the happiness that came along with it.

I clung to that hope and allowed it to fuel me. Carlisle smiled and patted my cheek before he turned to begin the process of uprooting our current life.

I exhaled then reached into my pocket. I stared down at the bracelet and the cheery gummy bear charm, which was such a contrast to the miserable way I was feeling. But it had suddenly become a sign of hope for me. I clenched it tightly then slipped it onto my wrist. I needed to keep it in sight. I needed it to strengthen me over the next few days.

"Will you say goodbye to her for us?" Rose approached me, eyes falling to the bracelet purposefully.

I sighed. "I don't know. I don't want to break every promise I've made to Bella." I paused as she looked away in disappointment. "You're welcome to stop by and tell her yourself though. I don't think she'd say anything to Bella."

She gave me a long, lingering look. "Alright. I think I will then."

We all walked into the house and then everything became an abrupt whirlwind of activity as my family and I rushed about gathering all of our essentials — mainly sets of clothes, forged documents, and any sentimentals we wanted to bring. We were used to having to pick up and leave on short notice, so the entire process went very quickly. Esme would send movers for anything else we needed after we settled into a new place.

My father was busy making inquiries to hospitals around the U.S. He hoped to find a position which they'd need filled immediately. He'd decided to tell his colleagues here that he was accepting an emergency transfer to Los Angeles — that it was a one time opportunity he simply couldn't pass up on. He wrote them a formal letter and e-mailed it before going back to seeking a real position.

Esme was standing by for his decision so she could start looking around for both a temporary residence and a more permanent home. She often chose historic places she could take her time renovating and designing herself.

After a couple of hours, he took a position working nights at a surgical clinic in Ithacha, New York. Jasper worked on initiating a transfer from his current school to Cornell University. Alice encouraged him to take a break before starting though, convincing him to come with her to vist our extended "family" in Denali until he was more himself again.

Esme found temporary housing in a secluded rental, then continued searching for a larger place she could restore.

"We'll come with you up to New York for a little while," Rose said to our parents. "But then I think Emmett and I will take another vacation."

"Tour of Europe this time," he grinned.

"That sounds pleasant," Esme smiled at them both before urging them to take a look at some of the historical homes she was considering.

I listened to their plans, feeling guilty for making them uproot their lives. But they were incredibly adaptable. It sounded as if they were already settling into their new reality.

I wasn't sure I would be joining them anytime soon. I needed to do something with myself. I needed a distraction. My thoughts turned to the loose end that was Victoria. She was only a vague threat to Bella, but a threat all the same. I knew I'd feel better if I was doing something to protect my beloved from afar.

I'd never tried my hand at tracking, but what better time to try out a new skill? I decided then that I would focus on tracking her down and ending her before she even thought about coming back to Forks to seek revenge for her fallen mate.

If nothing else, it gave me a purpose, and I needed that.

My gaze lifted to the painting of the dancers and my eyes followed the bright, flowing brush strokes. I felt so far removed from it now that I could barely even feel the stirring liveliness it had previously inspired. Darkness had descended over my life. It had fallen over my eyes like a heavy veil, shutting out the light.

I sat there a long time in my room, unmotivated to really bring any of my belongings with me. But I had time to change my mind. I wasn't going anywhere just yet.

The sky outside shifted from black to a bleak, pale gray and I glanced up and breathed in, knowing I had to get track to Bella before she woke up.

I rose and forced my expression to remain neutral as I slowly moved down the hall and down the stairs. Each member of my family paused what they were doing and met me at the door.

"We'll see you soon, Edward." Carlisle lifted an arm around my shoulders. "Let us know if you need anything. We'll head out in about an hour."

Esme reached for me too and kissed my cheek tenderly. "Let us know when you leave Forks. Will you be taking some time to yourself?"

I nodded silently.

"Then keep us updated on where you are, please. Check in every now and then."

"I will," I forced myself to speak. "I promise."

Emmett came over next and embraced me. You look like a corpse, kid. Try to find something bright to hold onto, okay?

Alice looked at me apologetically then stood on her toes and kissed me too. "I'll miss you."

Rose nodded at me. You'll get through this, Edward. You're aggravatingly strong. If anyone can survive this, it's you.

I gazed at each of them in turn and managed the slightest curve of my mouth. I appreciated that they were here for me, supporting me. "Thank you," I said to them all softly. "I'll be in touch."

"We love you." Esme smiled.

Jasper was standing by the door and held it open for me. He gave me a forlorn, regretful look. I'm sorry for ruining everything.

I approached with a shake of my head. "You didn't. It was inevitable, Jasper."

Inevitable that I'd mess up. He thought.

"If not you, then someone else. If not you, then me."

That's doubtful. Other than Carlisle, you're the strongest I've ever met. I heard about Diego.

My eyes fell. "…none of that matters when it comes to Bella. It doesn't matter how controlled I am."

Jasper's eyes were suddenly very intense. "Edward. I've felt how powerful it is. I know the struggle you've endured every moment you've been with her. The fact you didn't kill her that first moment in the classroom speaks to how strong you are."

"You're wrong." I had never felt weaker.

"I don't think I am." He answered stubbornly. "But I also know you're not going to listen to what I say. You'll have to learn the truth on your own." Wherever your path leads from here, I hope it'll lead you to a place where you'll see yourself more clearly. I'm looking up to you, you know.

"I wish you wouldn't." I mumbled.

"Sorry, can't help it."

I shook my head then looked to his quiet, steady gaze. I envied his certainty and belief in me.

"Take care of yourself, Jazz."

"Only if you do." He gave me a humorless smirk.

"Right…we'll see."

He clapped me on the shoulder and I took a deep breath before running out into the foggy morning. The eerie feel of it seemed fitting as the chilly haze closed in around me like a specter.

I reached Bella's house and sat beside her as I watched the rising sun struggle and fail to break through the overcast clouds.

When she stirred and opened her eyes, face contorted with discomfort — from her wounded arm, I guessed — I leaned down and kissed her on the forehead before moving to her window without a word and disappearing outside again.

I went to the school and dutifully waited for her arrival, focusing on maintaining absolute indifference. I gave myself plenty of time to bury my raging feelings and replace them all with coldness. I used the antagonism I was feeling towards myself as fuel for my mask. It gave me every appearance of being horrendously insensitive to the pain and confusion I was sure Bella would feel.

I was certain it would take a lot of convincing for her to believe I no longer loved her. Bella might even call me out on my obvious and poor attempts to persuade her.

I kept Vitalia's bracelet on my wrist, keeping it in sight as I braced myself. She had said I could be whatever decided, and I had finally decided to be someone who did what was right. Her token was a reminder of that.

Bella arrived and I opened her door for her, expression neutral.

"How do you feel?" I asked. I was burning with the desire to know.

"Perfect." She answered as I loudly slammed her truck door closed.

Bella looked both wary of me and very distracted. She looked like she had a million questions on her mind. Why wouldn't she?

Her brown eyes flicked to my wrist and she frowned. "You're wearing Vitalia's bracelet?"

I nodded.

"Is there a reason?"

"…I wanted to."

"Okay…"

I chanced a glance in her direction and saw she was staring fiercely at the walls as we passed. I left her at her classroom door then made my way to my own.

My wearing Vitalia's bracelet hadn't been an intentional strategy, but I supposed it added to the growing distance between Bella and I.

The morning passed very quickly. My dreading having to face her again, to see my deceitful expression in her eyes, seemed to make the hours feel like seconds.

I sat with her at lunch and she finally gave voice to one of her concerns. She sounded nervous. "Where's Alice?"

Maybe she was catching on?

I had a granola bar in my hand and was slowly, purposefully crushing it into fine particles of dust between my fingertips. "She's with Jasper."

"Is he okay?"

"He's gone away for awhile."

"What? Where?"

I shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "Nowhere in particular."

"And Alice too." She sounded defeated.

"Yes. She'll be gone for awhile. She was trying to convince him to go to Denali."

I had a feeling it would help him to be around others like ourselves who could help encourage him.

Bella's head lowered and her shoulders slumped. I hid my worried reaction as I glanced at her arm quickly.

"Is your arm bothering you?"

"Who cares about my stupid arm?" She answered in revulsion before she let her head fall onto the table.

I swallowed and, with her eyes hidden, I felt my expression twist painfully. I hated what I was doing to her. Hated that it was so necessary.

And to think, if I'd just avoided this from the start, she wouldn't be going through this.

I didn't say anything else to her until after we were walking to her truck. She was the first to break the deafening silence between us.

"You'll come over later tonight?"

I always came over, so the fact she had to ask meant she knew something was different.

Would she confront me today? How much time did I have before I had to end things? I had to admit that perhaps my taking a few days had as much to do with convincing her as it did with stalling things for myself. I didn't know if I could do it just yet.

"If you want me to."

"I always want you," she told me fervently as she climbed into her truck.

You shouldn't, I thought miserably, fighting my delight.

"Alright, then." I kissed her on the forehead, shut the door for her, then turned to move swiftly to my own car.

[Vitalia]

I had gotten up crazy early for some reason, kind of tossing around in my sleep, before I decided to just give up. I slipped on a hoodie and my yellow rainboots then went outside. The sun was barely up and it was so foggy in the forest that you could barely see the light anyway. It had a whole spooky feel to it.

I smiled and suddenly felt excited to get home and start setting up for the Harvest Festival. Our front porch was always littered with pumpkins by the end of the season. It was too bad that Texas autumns rarely felt like they should. Some of them were pretty warm. I decided to really enjoy this Forks weather while I could.

I was sitting on the patio chair with a cup of coffee between my hands when I saw the blurry sight of headlights coming up the path.

I stood and kind of got a weird foreboding feeling before I even saw Rosie and Emmett step out of her red BMW. They both looked so serious. Emmy tried to smile, but he barely managed it.

Something was wrong.

I stood and walked over to them, brows drawing close. "Hey, you guys. What're you doing here?"

"Hey," Emmett answered. "Didn't know if you'd be up. I was ready to pound on your window 'til we finally woke you."

Rose slapped him lightly on the shoulder before looking at me with a sad smile. "We came to say goodbye, Vitalia."

I knew from the tone in her voice that this goodbye was the final one. It meant this was it. I wouldn't be seeing them again anytime soon.

"Ah." I slowly nodded. "You two taking off again?"

"More like the whole family is." Emmy answered. "Something came up and we have to leave town right away."

I raised a brow. An emergency evacuation for the Cullen family? That was mysterious. And maybe just a little bit sketchy. I was disappointed to see them go, but I was also insanely curious. The plot just kept getting thicker with them.

"That's sort of crazy," I answered.

"Tell me about it." Rosie lifted a note from out of her designer purse. "This is a note for your mom from mine. Would you give this to her? She would have come herself, but she's been pretty busy securing us a new place to live."

I nodded and took the note, running a finger over Esme's pretty handwriting. "My mom will appreciate it. Tell her thanks. And bye from me too." I smiled. "Tell them all goodbye, okay?"

"You got it." Emmett managed a real smile for me then before wrapping me in a bear hug. "We'll sure miss you. Knowing you has been awesome."

I laughed and it was a bittersweet sound. "Same. You guys are great!" I paused, struggling to get a solid breath. "But, uhm-" I winced. "Can you let go? It's kind of hard to breathe."

"Oh!" He stepped back immediately. "Sorry."

"Rosie smacked him again. "Just suffocate her, why don't you? Then we'll be on the run as murderers."

"That'd be very Bonnie and Clyde of you." I said with a smirk.

Rosalie shook her head then stepped forward to hug me too, but her embrace was much more gentle. Still, every single one of them was rock solid. I didn't even know muscle could feel like that. It was kind of strange. Their embraces weren't exactly…comforting. Not physically anyway.

She pulled away and looked down at me. Her eyes looked darker, for some reason. Maybe it was the fog or something, but the gold wasn't as light as I remembered. "Edward will be leaving too, obviously. I wanted him to say goodbye himself, but…well, it doesn't look like that's going to happen."

My eyes drifted to the side. I knew when they'd said they were all leaving that it included Eddie, but I hadn't fully processed it until now. He was really going. He was officially leaving my life now.

But I breathed in and looked up at her. "Well, we've already said our goodbyes. I'm going to stubbornly hope that I'll get to see him again someday."

"I hope you do." She stepped away and fell back beside Emmett.

I wondered if all of this meant Eddie was leaving Bella or if she was leaving with all of them. I didn't ask though. It wasn't really my business.

Emmett waved. "Try to stay alive, okay? Don't go hunting anything too dangerous." He flashed a bright, toothy grin at me.

It struck me that he looked particularly dangerous right now with that sharp grin, especially in our hazy, horror film surroundings.

"Sure!" I answered.

They turned away from me and slid into the car before driving away, disappearing into the fog again.

I let out a long, cloudy breath then turned to sit on the porch steps, the cedarwood creaking beneath me. I took a long sip of coffee and stared hard at the forest around me.

It seemed the Cullens would always be a shroud of unanswered questions. There was something open-ended and thrilling about that though. It left me to wonder. It allowed them all to remain an unfinished chapter in my life. Unclosed and open to possibility.

"Bye, Eddie." I whispered. "Wherever you are." I looked down at the bracelet he'd given me and at the little fork charm. I smoothed a finger over it with a little smile.

I closed my eyes and thought of his smile. I wondered what he was doing right now. I wondered where he would he be going.

What sort of adventures was he rushing off to meet?

I hoped he was moving on to something exciting.

[Edward]

I didn't do much with myself while I waited for Bella to get off work. I drove around town aimlessly before deciding to go ahead and drive to the Swan residence as the sun started to sink in the sky. I stepped out of my car in the fading twilight then knocked on the front door.

Charlie answered and looked at me in confusion. "Bella's not home yet. She'll be working 'til six-thirty."

"I know," I told him before offering a practiced, pleasant smile. "Would you mind if I wait for her?"

He sighed before shrugging and stepping away from the door. "Suit yourself. Game's on, if you're interested."

"Oh?" I said politely as I entered the warm interior and made my way to the armchair beside the couch. "Who's playing?"

We fell into small talk then as Charlie excitedly told me all about the current team he was rooting for. As excited as Charlie could outwardly be anyway. He was a very private man. I felt a little more at ease in his presence than I had before because I knew I wasn't going to be putting his daughter in danger any longer. He would no longer have to go to sleep night after night unaware that a vampire was lurking under his roof.

"There's some leftove pizza in the fridge. Help yourself." Charlie announced to me before settling on the couch again with his own serving of pepperoni and mushroom slices. I only nodded at him, having no intention of following suit.

A few minutes later I heard Bella's truck coming down the street and I exhaled and forced my expression into a mask again.

When she walked in, I forced myself to remain aloof and disinterested. She seemed much more bothered now than she had earlier. She was visibly shaken and her heart was beating frantically. I stayed where I was in the chair, even as she left the room. I could hear her fiddling with the camera and the scrapbook on the dining table. I hung to every breath she took, my guilt increasing by the second. As much as I wanted to delay, I couldn't put things off much longer. I couldn't keep her confused like this. Keep her wondering and hoping.

I just didn't know why she was avoiding me. Why wasn't she confronting me about my behavior? Did she know that I intended to break things off when she did?

When she came back into the room, she snapped a "surprise" picture of Charlie and I. She was forcing herself to act as if nothing was wrong. Her smile was tight and her eyes were frantic. She tried to keep her voice upbeat, but it was nervous. I noted that she was avoiding looking at me directly.

I'm so sorry. I thought to myself.

She had me take a picture of Charlie and herself. The man complained before he offered to take one of the two of us. I wordlessly and stiffly stood next to her, my arm heavy as I wound it around her.

After he took the photo, Bella sat in front of the couch and I went back to ignoring her. I couldn't bring myself to keep watching the pain on her face. I couldn't bear it.

After a torturous hour, I announced that I was leaving, heading out the door and declining Bella's request that I stay the night with her. I didn't look at her, didn't kiss her goodnight, just headed straight to my car in the piercing rain.

But I didn't go far. I parked a few blocks down then ran back to her house, where I climbed an overlooking tree and watched her through her window. I was going to have to get used to not being able to keep an eye on her. I had to force myself to believe that she'd be alright without my "protection". She deserved more than a monster's protection. She had managed to survive before I'd met her, so I was certain she'd manage the same after I was gone.

The next day went about the same. I barely looked at Bella, only spoke to her a handful of times, and remained distant. She wasn't as panicked though. If anything, she looked impatient with me. But she was seeming to avoid asking about my behavior. She seemed determined to ignore it.

When we walked to the parking lot, I tried to force the words out of my mouth that would lead to the discussion we needed to have, but I couldn't make myself speak them. When she drove away, I slammed my hand down on my steering wheel.

Tomorrow, I promised myself. I'll do it tomorrow. I felt wretchedly weak.

I forced myself to stay away from her place tonight. I stayed at my own place, alone in the lifeless house. My family was all gone, off to live their new lives. It was something else I was going to have to get used to. Being on my own.

I surveyed my room again, looking for anything I should bring with me. In the end, I decided I would only bring the painting. I took it off the wall and bound it in a package. Since I would be on foot for awhile, not really taking a residence anywhere, I decided to ship it off to my parents' new address. I wrote a note to my mother, asking her to put it up in whichever room she decided would be mine. I put together a backpack filled with clothes and makeshift camping supplies to bring with me then I put the pack and the wrapped painting into my car.

I went back inside to sit at the piano, trailing a hand over the keys before diving into a melancholy rhythm. A gazed out into the moonless night as I played. It was the solitary, mournful lament of a broken, damned existence.

The morning came far too swiftly and the school day flew by at a traitorous pace again. I couldn't even enjoy my final moments with Bella. I could hardly look at her still.

But I was going to have to. I spent the time preparing what to say. How to act. How to lie straight to her face. I'd probably have to adamantly defend the lies too. She would no doubt question them. After all, how many countless times had I told her I loved her? My actions, too, spoke much louder than my words. How was she ever going to believe it? I was preparing to have to fight her on this. I had to fight and I had to win. It might take literal hours, and only then I might only manage to plant a seed of doubt, but that would have to be enough.

When the dreaded bell rang, I walked her purposefully outside. She looked strangely determined too, though I wasn't sure why.

We reached her truck and I took a deep breath before speaking in a rushed voice. "Do you mind if I come over today?"

"Of course not." She still wasn't looking at me.

I opened her door for her. "Now?"

"Sure." She sounded like she was trying very hard to keep her voice strong. Not nearly as hard I was though, I was sure. "I was just going to drop a letter off for Renée in the mailbox on the way. I'll meet you there."

I looked to the envelope she was referring to, sitting on the passenger seat. I reached over her and grabbed it. "I'll do it." I told her quietly. "And I'll still beat you there." I attempted to joke, giving her a crooked smile, but I was sure it looked as fake as it felt.

"Okay," she answered, not returning my smile.

I turned and headed to my car, pace fast. I had to keep moving forward. No doubts. No hesitation. I had to do this now.

I drove to the post office, dropped her envelope into the mail, then went inside and had my painting sent to my mother.

I sped to Bella's and heard her truck a mile or so away. I still had time to dash inside to begin the erasing of my existence. I climbed into her window and removed the CD I'd made for her from the stereo then took out the album her mother had sent. I pulled out the photos of me then stared at them lying accusingly in my palm. I stood for a moment, questioning my original plan to bring them with me. I frowned down at the one Charlie had taken of us when I noticed both the cold expression on my own face and the fact that Bella had bent it in half, cutting herself out of it. Why had she done that?

I put the thought from my mind then sighed before prying a floorboard loose and putting the photos and the CD there. I couldn't bring myself to steal them away from her. Maybe, some years from now, she would find them here once she'd healed from all of this. Maybe she'd be able to look back on me fondly, undeserving as I was.

I went downstairs and wrote a note for Charlie, just in case he made it home before Bella got back. I copied her handwriting nearly exactly.

Going for a walk with Edward, up the path, back soon. — B.

I heard Bella's truck rumble up the street and I swiftly left through the back door. I rounded the house then hopped into my car before she parked. When she did, I lingered a moment, gritting my teeth and forced myself to remain calm. Everything rested on my ability to maintain composure.

I got our of my car and came up behind her as she climbed down from the driver's seat. I held out my hand for her book bag and, after she handed it to me, I threw it back onto the seat. She gave me a confused look, but I ignored it and took her hand in mine. I ignored the electric surge that shot through me at the contact.

"Come for a walk with me." My tone was flat, devoid of everything. That was good.

Without waiting for her response, I gently pulled her across the yard toward the forest beside her house. The trees were lurking, ominous things, their branches like tendrils, waiting to devour me in their darkness.

I didn't bring Bella far, bringing us to an abrupt stop where the trail started. Her house was still in view, so I could be sure she'd find her way back safely.

I reluctantly released her hand, all of my insides screaming at me to stop before I severed my ties to her for good. But my mind, my conscience, knew better. I quieted the screaming as I leaned against a nearby tree. The birds within it scattered as they sensed my nightmarish, predatory presence.

I stared at Bella, observing the details of her face. She looked incredibly anxious, but there was a determination rising too.

When she spoke, her voice was unexpectedly strong. "Okay, let's talk."

I took a deep breath and braced myself for my plunge into the abyss.