Chapter 125

Rosie didn't volunteer any explanation as to her trembling - and Tommy didn't push her to.

He knew she'd be taken aback from Finn's anger being turned on her. She'd told him off after he'd taken his cursed stroll along the railway, but for the most part she simply took care of Finn by looking out for him, cooking for him, mending his clothes - but leaving the real discipline to Tommy to deal with. She'd never really been on the receiving end of the blame of the kid's nose being out of joint. Not that she deserved to have been tonight either - all she'd done was say if he let Lily help that together they might manage to get through it quickly enough to get outside for some of their night. It had just been the wrong suggestion, in that moment, as far as Finn was concerned.

But she'd had Lily's temper levelled at her before, so even if it wasn't fair, he knew she'd cope with that. No, the temper wasn't why she was shaking.

No, he reckoned her trembling was her anger at the idea of women's work. She'd told him before... "I don't even mind the idea of women's business, not really, as a concept. But I mind when women's business to men's minds is compromised of stupid stuff because you reckon women can't wrap their brains around the things that are men's business when women can – and they did whilst the men were all away fighting."

The way Finn had complained about being kept in to do women's work, as if it was degrading to him to do it, that was, Tommy was sure, what she'd be shaking over.

He steered her in front of him and used the hand she wasn't holding to give her an encouraging pat on her pretty arse - his way of letting her know he thought she'd done well in how she'd handled Finn - but it only earned him a turn of her head and a tight smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. She sat on the sofa and opened her book, hiding her face in it, but he was gratified at least by the way she kicked off her shoes and slid her bare feet under his leg - their usual custom. She clearly didn't want to talk, but the contact bridged the silence of the gap.

Tommy bristled as the sounds of dishes being rattled more noisily than there was any need for hit his ears, but he stayed where he was. She had handled Finn, and he knew she'd probably be insulted if he didn't respect that she had done so by going in and adding his own on, as if her handling was worthless. But even if he knew that, there was still a large part of him that was itching to go in and take the boy down another few pegs from where Rosie had already placed him.

He took her foot in his, almost habitually more than consciously and funnelled his own annoyance into the balls of her feet, grinding them to a wriggle of pleasure and a quick lowering of her book to give him a proper smile. That smile lowered his own blood pressure and, once the dishes had stopped being clattered and the shop doors had been slammed behind the kids, the descending quiet began to feel its usual companionable one.

In fact, he felt so settled sitting there, Rosie's first foot tucked back under his leg, his fingers working on her second, that he was quite disinclined to give up the task and answer the knocking of the door when it came twenty minutes or so later.

But when Rosie went to swing her legs around to go, he gave in to the demand of the noise, telling her "You stay there, you've earned your rest."

"Like you haven't?" she asked, raising an eyebrow but smiling softly at him.

"What is it they say - no rest for the wicked, eh?"

The smile on his own face, answering hers, was wiped quickly as he opened the door to Isaiah standing before it, looking shifty. He raised an eyebrow expectantly.

"Good evening, Mr Shelby," Isaiah stuttered, looking both more surprised than Tommy reckoned the boy had any right to at the idea that he might answer the door of his own house, and like he was regretting knocking that door in the first place.

"'Evening," Tommy replied dryly.

"Is eh - is Finn…Is he…"

"Is Finn coming out so you two can fuck off to the boxing, that what you're trying to ask?"

Isaiah's face did exactly what Finn's had done at the dinner table, his mouth dropping, leaving him looking like a right gormless little eedgit.

"Tell me, Isaiah, where's your Dad?"

"P-preaching, Mr Shelby."

"And if I go find him to tell him you had plans to go to the Bullring Boxing Ring tonight, will he be alright with that? Fully aware, is he?"

Isaiah didn't answer verbally but the fear in his eyes answered just plenty.

"Didn't think so," Tommy growled, clapping a heavy hand down on the boy's shoulder and jerking him over the threshold, slamming the door shut and turning to march him through, "So you can just get on with scrubbing out that shop - teach you lot to come up with these schemes and think we won't find out. Finn!"

His brother jumped out of his skin from where he'd been so intent on rifling through Polly's desk drawer that he hadn't heard Tommy's steps or the shop door - which he'd slammed so effusively shut - opening.

"You're in here to work - and I brought you reinforcements," Tommy said, releasing Isaiah into the shop, "I told you your list is on John's desk. That's on, not in, we clear?"

Finn nodded.

"Where's Lily?" he asked, glancing around before noticing her sitting at his desk, watching him through the open door of his office, looking as if she'd been playing on his typewriter. He softened his tone as he went to the doorway and stopped in it, "I thought you were helping?"

"He's not started yet," she pointed out, biting her lip.

"Well he's starting now," Tommy promised, pivoting round to prompt, "What's the first thing on that list boys?"

There was a scrabbling as the two of them made for John's desk, jostling at one another to get there first. It was almost endearing, that although they were both probably furious with him for spoiling their fun, that as soon as they had a chance to be in the shop or helping with blinder business, there was some innate eagerness - enough that they each wanted to be first to answer.

"Clear off desks," Isaiah read aloud, getting there first.

"Then lift chairs onto desks and sweep floor," Finn supplied.

"Right, so get clearing the desks - rubbish in the bin, anything with writing on it to go in the drawer of Aunt Polly's desk and she'll sort through what can stay or go tomorrow. In the drawer without you going through it, that is, we clear?" He waited for a couple of muttered yeses before, "Right. Once you're done that - you lift the chairs onto the desks to clear the floor, you sweep it and later down the line, you scrub it. So when it comes time for that you'd best ask Rosie for her expertise on how to mix up the solution." He focused on Finn, raising an eyebrow, "And when you're at it, by that time I expect you to have figured out some other words you want to say to Rosie, you understand me my boy? You know fine well the way you spoke to her wasn't acceptable and if it were up to me you'd have had your arse tanned for it."

Finn reddened and lowered his eyes, muttering agreement.

Tommy nodded, "Alright then. You, my little love," he said, going into his office, picking up his wastepaper basket and holding it out to Lily, "Can collect the rubbish as they find it. Once it's full you come get me and I'll put it in the incinerator, alright?"

She nodded, slid off the seat and took the bin, cradling it against her stomach with her arms wrapped around it like a pregnant woman cradling her bump.

"On you go through then, good girl," Tommy said, nodding his head in the direction of the main shop.

She sidled through and he went to his own drawer, retrieving Rosie's loaded gun that he stowed in it, in case any more rifling through drawers took place - which he imagined likely would. But he wasn't willing to stand there the whole night and supervise either to prevent it. No, as long as he had the weapon out the way and the safe was locked, they could rifle through the paper all they liked.

Tucking it into the back of his trousers and flapping his jacket over it (his holster was already cradling his own revolver), he left them to it. Rosie raised an eyebrow as he put her gun down on the little table in the front room.

"Drawer raiding is going on through there, unsurprisingly" he said wryly, "Figured it was best to get it out the way."

She smiled and once he sat back in his spot she put her book down, knelt up and across to press her lips to his.

He placed a gentle hand to her face and reciprocated, enjoying the chaste nature of it, before sitting back, keeping his hand in place and stroking it across her cheekbone as he asked, "What was that for, eh?"

"Am I not allowed?" she asked, eyes sparkling with amusement.

He smirked and clicked his tongue, "Oh quite allowed, my darling - I just wasn't expecting it."

She smiled, "I wasn't expecting you to send Isaiah in there - you know they'll have a grand time of it now with each other."

Tommy snorted, "Still haven't decided if he's getting off without a good hiding, but in the meantime, I figured Isaiah losing his night too might teach them both."

Rosie rolled her eyes at him.

"What?"

"You have too decided - if you were going to give him a hiding you'd have done it already, or if not done it, you'd have pronounced the sentence."

"Is that what you think, eh?"

"Yes," she nodded, still smiling at him, half soft adoration and half amusement, "Or no - it's not what I think, it's what I know. And I love you for it, Thomas Shelby, just so you know."

He creased his brow in wordless question.

"Am I right in saying there was a time when, if you'd found out Finn had plans to go somewhere you'd told him he couldn't, you'd have hauled him out the back with no discussion?" she asked, sitting back on her heels and cocking her head.

He nodded. Yes, that was true.

"Exactly," she said. Continuing, when he said nothing, "I love that you are who you are, Tommy. I love the strength of you. I like feeling secure knowing that you're the head of this family and that you take that seriously - in that you take providing for everyone seriously, as well as taking keeping everyone safe and in line seriously too. I love knowing I can rely on you because I never - never had that in my life, not with anyone."

He nodded, reaching for her hand and squeezing it, "I know."

"So I value that, for myself and for Lily - and for any future kids we might have," she said, squeezing back and going a little pink, the way she tended to do when she made references to the future they both hoped for, "I value knowing that even if I mess up, you won't throw me out or abandon me. I like knowing the consequences, and I like that once it's done, it's done - and that you regard it as done... There were times when Molly would just stop acknowledging us for days when she was annoyed with either of us and I never knew when it would end - and in so many ways that was worse than when she used to throw things and scream. I like having the slate wiped clean between us, even if that means nursing a sore arse for a day or so."

She gave a tentative smile, no doubt hoping to draw his attention away from commenting on what she'd said about her upbringing. But he wasn't fooled.

"C'mere," he said, tugging on her hand, patting his knee, waiting until she'd manoeuvred herself around to sit on his lap before he told her, "No matter what happens, I'm never leaving you - you hear me? You might have a sore arse occasionally - and at worse, if you're particularly vexatious to me at some point, you might find yourself looking at the rug a few nights in a row until I'm sure you've learned your lesson. But I'm never, ever abandoning you, you hear? You're stuck with me - for life."

She nodded, running her fingers through the longer hair on top of his head, "I hear," she told him softly, "And you're stuck with me too, you know."

"Wouldn't want it any other way sweetheart," he told her, squeezing her waist.

The concept of it being any other way scared the shit out of him, if he was honest.

"But my point right now, Tommy," she continued, "Is that although you are who you are, and I know you'll never be the sort of man who'll be disobeyed or walked over - I love that tonight, with Finn - you've not just dragged him out. I know if you'd found out after he'd done it we might be having a different conversation… But you found out before - and you've taken his night off him - and his Sunday - so he knows you can do that - and will do it again if you get more evidence that he can't be trusted to stick to his boundaries. So he's not got off scot-free or anything. But you've been softer than you might have once been about a planned bit of disobedience - and I love you for that. For being able to step back and make that decision, that you'd be that bit easier on him but without letting him feel like you don't care about the fact he was planning to disobey you either."

He cupped his hand around the back of her unruly bobbed hair and kissed her tenderly for a moment before sitting back and saying, "Well seeing you love me for it - it's your influence, you know."

"You reckon?"

"Oh yes," he nodded, studying her pretty little round face, her beautiful warm eyes fixed on him, "Fact is, before you came I wasn't home much, didn't know Finn as well. Didn't know what was going on in his life day to day like I do now we eat dinner around that table every night. Probably wouldn't have known what was being planned anyway - and wouldn't have been here to sit in and supervise him staying in rather than just getting a good hiding and being sent on his way so I could get on mine."

She gave a slightly sad smile, but said, "Well, I'm glad I might have helped."

"What's eating you, eh? Can see there's something you're not saying?" he asked, imagining he knew precisely what it was.

He was right in his suspicions.

"I just wonder if - if maybe - and I don't mean to upset you by saying it - but maybe if you'd been more able to take that step back with Ada - not always come down on her as much as you did," she said, choosing her words carefully, her eyes fixed on him, almost wary, "If maybe, when she realised she was - was in trouble - pregnant, I mean… Maybe if she'd been less afraid of you losing it with her, she might have come to you. It might have gone differently. She might not have felt - have felt as pushed to Freddie."

He gave a heavy breath and sat back, keeping his hand on her head, trying to balance the worried look she was giving him, trying to reassure her that he wasn't pulling out of the conversation altogether, wasn't abandoning her for saying something he might have preferred not to hear.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," she repeated her earlier sentiment in a small, concerned voice, rushing to reassure him, "And I've said I think you're right about Freddie, about the life he can offer her - with that horrible place he's keeping her. But…"

She trailed off and he shook his head, "You're right. If I could do it over, there are things I'd do differently with Ada. Things I'd have started or stopped doing far earlier than I did. I mean - that last real hiding I gave her - when I took her out the back and threatened her with the strap… I couldn't have gone through with it, but even taking her out there - it was fucking horrible. But I had no idea how else to get through to her. I thought it would get through to her - but it didn't, did it? It didn't fucking work."

Rosie straightened up on his lap and shifted round, putting her arms around him and drawing his head to lay on her chest, her fingers stroking that spot behind his ears. He didn't resist, on the contrary he gladly pressed his face into her, inhaling her reassuring scent.

"Tommy, sweetheart," she said quietly, "Have you ever thought about writing to Ada - maybe say what you just said. Tell her you have regrets about how you handled certain things. Apologise for some of it? I think maybe that would go a long way towards opening a line between us all."

The silence stretched between them for a long while as she waited for his answer - and as he considered.

Eventually though, he shook his head and lifted it out of her hold to look her in the eye, "You start apologising, it's like taking bricks out of your house."

"You've apologised to me before."

"That's different - when I take that brick out, you and me put a new brick in its place. A stronger one and we build a better house for it, eh?"

"But you and Ada -"

"Ada doesn't want to build a house with me, Rosie - she wants to build a house with Feddie," he cut over her, "And I'm damned if I'll be pulling bricks out of this house to hand them to her and Freddie to build with. You understand?"

She tilted her head, thinking before she said, "I understand."

"Good, we can move-"

"I understand, Tommy," she said, raising her voice to speak over him, "I understand - but I don't agree." She had that fire in her eye as she told him, "I think you're fucking obsessing over houses when you need to be thinking about bridges. Like I said - I agree with you, in what you've said, about Freddie - about the life he can give her, about that place he's got her in. But that's why now, more than I even thought it before, we need him not to be her only option. We need her to know she can come back - you need to reach out to her Tommy, and hang your stupid pride. The pair of you are as bad as each other for that."

"You're a fine one to talk about pride, Rosalie Jackson," he snapped, warning in his tone, the two of them exchanging glares before he went on, "Nevertheless, I will be reaching out to Ada soon - I promise you that, alright? When John and Esme get married, I want it that she's there. She's family and even if she left us out of her wedding, we'll be doing the right thing and inviting her to this. Her and Freddie. And whilst they're there - if they come - I'm going to try and see what kind of a truce we can negotiate that we can all live with. But I will not be negotiating that truce on the fucking back foot, or asking my baby sister if I'm forgiven, we clear?"

"Are you just saying that to pacify me?" she asked, a crease between her brows as she regarded him suspiciously.

"No I bloody well am not!" he barked, irritated by the question.

His irritation - and instinct to tell her she'd be nursing a sore arse again if she kept pushing at him, since the one he'd given her two nights ago evidently hadn't made enough of a lasting impression - disappeared as she gave him a wide, beaming smile, told him, "Alright then - we're clear Thomas Shelby," before kissing him.

The woman would be the death of him, able to melt his moods like that. He could have stayed with her on his lap, kissing him, for quite some time if they hadn't been interrupted by another round of knocking.

They broke apart, looked at the door and, when it came again, Rosie sighed, kissed his head and stood up, "My turn, eh?"

"You want another recruit for the barracks, Tommy?" she called over to him after she'd opened the door.

He stood up and came to stand behind her, looking over her shoulder at an annoyed looking George standing where Isaiah had been the last time the door had been opened.

"You in on this boxing outing too, then?"

George's eyes flicked between him and Rosie, clearly trying to decide what the best answer would be.

"Get in there," Tommy ordered, swivelling to stand side on and pointing through, "The other two delinquents have the list, they'll give you your orders."

George just stared.

"Go on," Rosie said firmly, nodding her head in the same direction Tommy had pointed, "If you can't be trusted to stay where you're meant to be of an evening, we'll be putting you where we can keep a closer eye on you. You want freedom, you can earn it. Now, get."

George's feet seemed to walk of their own accord, her tone demanding obedience, though his eyes stayed fixed on her, his head swivelling to keep his somewhat confused face on hers as he protested, "But - but you don't get to tell me what to do!"

"Oh yes she does," Tommy said, stepping forward and taking the back of George's collar in his hand as he steered him through, "She's an adult, you're a child - you'll do as you're told by any adult in this family or you'll face the consequences, we clear?"

He opened the green doors and sent George through with a smack to his rear end, taking a moment to raise an eyebrow at the formation of the desks - absolutely not where they'd been at the start of the evening - but closing the door without commenting.

Rosie hadn't even sat back down, and Tommy had only just crossed back into the front room when the next round of knocking came. They exchanged looks before he went to answer.

In contrast to the other two, Katie glared up at him with her hands squarely on her hips and demanded, "What's goin' on Uncle Tommy?"

He looked her up and down, raised an eyebrow and went into his pocket, taking his time pulling out a cigarette and lighting it, watching her frustration build as he inhaled and exhaled before calmly asking, "How'd you mean, Katie-girl?"

"Everyone's gone in here and no one's come back out!"

"Well, Lily told you she wasn't coming out tonight."

"I know but everyone else is in here too!"

"And how does that affect you?"

"Well!" she spluttered, throwing up her hands, looking a little like Pol had used to do when they were kids and she was entirely through with their shit, as if all the frustrations of the world had taken their toll, "Well - I want to know what they're doing!"

"Did you have plans with them?"

She frowned, her mouth twisting as she thought on it before saying, "Not exactly."

"Then it shouldn't matter, should it? Off and play."

He went to shut the door and she threw her arm up to prevent him, "Uncle Tommy!"

The girl really would make her own noose.

He crouched down, getsuring for her to come over the threshold and stand in front of him before instructing, "You tell me the truth - what were you planning that Lily wasn't for going alone with you on tonight, eh?"

"I - we - she…" Katie started and stopped several times before crossing her arms and muttering, "Wasn't planning nothing."

"Well you can get on with nothing then, can't you?" Tommy returned, raising an eyebrow, "Back outside, on you go."

"But - I - I just want to know what they were doing and they said they were going and now they're all in here!"

"Ah, so you did have plans - they said they were going and you were planning to go with them?"

She kicked the ground and focussed on it as she muttered, "Well, not with them…"

"So you were planning to follow them?"

She didn't answer.

"Look at me."

It took him inhaling and exhaling three times before her eyes finally reached his, "Did you have any idea where they were planning on going tonight?"

She tightened her jaw and shook her head.

"Katie," Rosie's calm but firm voice entered the exchange as she came to kneel beside him, "Are you telling us you had no idea where they were going - no idea what you might be about to get yourself into by following them and were planning to do it anyway?"

"But - But - They were going!" Katie retorted, "It wasn't fair! They were going and they wouldn't say where!"

"And they're being kept in to prevent them going - because we knew they were planning to go where they weren't allowed, and we've put a stop to it."

There was a very long pause, during which Katie looked between them both before eventually saying, "Can I be kept in with them?"

"Katie - it's not a reward, they're in there spending their Friday night scrubbing that shop from top to bottom," Rosie said, by some miracle managing to make her voice sound even more cross when all he wanted to do was snort with laughter - though really it wasn't funny. For all Rosie might love him for being lenient, he'd never yet had a kid knock on the door and ask for a hiding, which suggested to him it was the more effective punishment.

"But since you were quite happy to go running after them - yes you can get in there and give up your Friday night too, let's go," Rosie continued before standing up, taking Katie's arm and marching her through, her body looking even from the back like she meant business.

He stuck his cigarette in his mouth and followed.

"What exactly is going on in here?" she demanded once she'd opened the green door, freezing in the way of it with Katie still in her grip.

"We're in a circus and I'm a tiger," Lily told her, her voice wobbling a little under Rosie's tone - not one she used often.

Over her shoulder, Tommy could see the desks and tables now formed a bit of a ring, the chairs - not the corresponding ones for each he didn't think - stacked atop them and Lily crouching under one of them - presumably pretending it was a cage as she held the legs of it.

"Right - well - you're not here to play circuses - you're in here to scrub this shop, how far down Tommy's list are you?"

"We've eh - we've cleared the desks," Isaiah volunteered.

"And put the chairs on the desks," Finn supplied, as if that made their work sound much more impressive - and as if they couldn't have gathered that themselves by way of their own eyesight.

"So that's two items in, is it?"

They nodded.

"And what is that in your hand, George?"

The kid instantly clasped his hands behind his back.

"Get up here with it," Rosie said, motioning him up with a wave.

George took a few steps and Tommy watched as something small hit the floor behind him.

"Do you think I'm blind?" Rosie snapped before he could say anything, "Get that picked up and bring it here this instant." She took the cigarette from the kid as soon as she could reach him and scolded, "You are too young for this. Do you understand? When you are a grown up you can make your choices about cigarettes - but they are not for you and if I catch you at it again, Tommy will wear you out - you understand me?"

George looked furiously between Tommy and the redhead before spluttering, "I don't like you!"

"That's fine with me," Rosie countered immediately, "Tommy - you take this and get rid of it," she said, holding the cigarette behind her without looking, her gaze still focussed on George.

Tommy took it, but he wasn't entirely sure about even crossing the kitchen to chuck it in the fire. He'd seen George lose his temper with John - and if the kid could do that with his own father, he didn't doubt for a second that he could do it with Rosie.

Especially if she provoked him, which she seemed determined to do as she reached out and jerked the kid to stand right before her as she ploughed on, "You know why I don't care if you like me or not, George Shelby? Because it doesn't matter. It's not my job to make you like me. It's my job to keep you safe. You stay right there, madam," she said aside to Katie, releasing her before kneeling down to force George's eyes to meet hers, putting both her hands on his waist as she looked up to him from her kneeling position, her voice softening and going quiet as she went on, her words only for George and not for the rest of the room, "Do you know why I need you safe, George? Because I love you. And that goes beyond liking you. So I can cope with it just fine if you don't like me - because sometimes loving someone and taking care of them means doing things they won't like you for. But things that are better for them, good for them. Even if it spoils their fun in the short term."

She broke off, her face trained on his - and there was a beat or two of silence before George asked, half swallowing the question as he did so, "Why?

"Why what?" Rosie returned, cocking her head, squeezing his waist.

"Why would you say that?" he muttered, looking to the ground and shuffling as much as he could in her hold.

"Say what?"

Even standing where he was, right behind Rosie, ready to intervene if George looked ready to take a turn, Tommy could hardly hear it as the kid answered in a barely audible whisper, "That - that you… love me."

"Because I do, George," Rosie replied, lifting one hand to his chin and forcing his head to stay still as she told him, "You know that - remember Tommy took you all out the back and took those pictures of all of you. He told you then, didn't he? Said you were all loved - by all of us - me, him, your dad, your Uncle Arthur, your Aunt Polly. All of us." He didn't respond to that and Rosie waited for a second before probing him, "So why would you ask me that when you know that, eh?"

"Why would you?" he asked, his voice low.

"Why would I what? Love you?" Rosie asked, and Tommy reckoned he could hear the shake in her voice that betrayed how upsetting she found the question.

George shrugged, trying to appear unbothered.

Rosie swallowed, tipped her head back to shake away her tears and took a deep breath before focussing back on the kid, "I don't need a reason to love you, George. You're my family - and in families - real families, whether that's the people you're born to or choose to be with - we love each other unconditionally. So there doesn't need to be any why. There will be nothing you can do to make me ever stop, alright - no reason for it, so no reason it could ever be taken away. You understand?"

She paused, looking to him to answer - but the kid remained stone faced and silent, probably already feeling he'd given too much away.

"But you do make it easy to love you, you know," she went on after a moment, "You're passionate, for one. You feel things so deeply - and I know sometimes that makes big problems, like when you get really angry. But it's so brave of you to feel those feelings - so many people are scared of their feelings, George. But not you, you feel them and you face them and I love that about you. You're passionate - and you're brave. And you're excellent at football - I see you playing out there, the way you can control that thing - George that's incredible. So you're hard working and dedicated, when you want to be. And Katie here," she turned to include a slightly bewildered looking Katie, who looked like she might be about to burst into tears but wasn't entirely sure why, in the conversation, "She'd follow you to the ends of the earth - even if it gets her into trouble, like it would have done if tonight had gone to all you lots' plans. So obviously you're inspirational too. But I would like to see you be more responsible with that inspirational streak, eh? Because if tonight had gone to plan - and you two down there can just listen to this bit too," she called, raising her voice and looking down to Finn and Isaiah, going from speaking to just George to all of them, "If you'd all gone off that boxing match tonight, you'd have been a bunch of kids in a room with rowdy, drunk, full grown men - at least one of you no doubt would have come a cropper during whatever your plan for sneaking in without paying for tickets was. A million and one things could have happened to you before you even got there - and we'd have no idea because we wouldn't know where you had gone. Once you were in, if you'd been caught up in any brawls you could have ended up in hospital. And I don't care for the boxing in general because if you'd gone and seen whatever it is you would see happen and brought it home, that wouldn't be an organised fight with a referee, would it? That would be you lot lamping one another on the street out there - and that's not a sport, that's just one of you waiting to lose all your teeth and have your noses broken. So that's why you're all in here because I need you - we need you - to think about these things. Especially you older ones - Katie and Lily and the twins are always looking to you, taking their lead from you. Do you understand?"

Tommy watched in vague amazement as George and Finn went deeply red - and he could have sworn to a pinkening of Isaiah's darker skin too - and muttered their understandings and apologies, looking more abashed than he had ever thought words would get them.

"And as for you," Rosie turned on Katie, "You're almost worse - they at least knew what they were planning on - you following them blindly into it is the most stupid thing I've ever heard from you - and you're a smart girl so there's no excuse for it. Finn, give me that list."

Rosie stood up, still keeping one hand on George's shoulder and holding out the other for the list.

"Alright," she decreed, turning a hard eye on Katie after having taken it in, "Since you'll be going to bed soon, you can come back here and give up your Sunday when you'll gut our your Uncle Arthur's office - on your own, with no help from anyone else."

Katie's mouth dropped.

"Teach you to go wandering into situations when you don't know the outcome," Rosie nodded in satisfaction, "And if I don't see the rest of this list - with the exception of the two offices - done tonight, I'll have you all in on rotation over the next few Saturdays and Sundays to make up for the work not done this evening. So you make of it what you will - play circuses or clean up - it's up to you but you'll be cleaning regardless."

She handed the list back to Finn, before assuring Isaiah, "And that includes you, by the way - so we're clear."

He nodded, looking too sheepish to even consider objecting.

"What about me?" Lily asked nervously from where she was still crouched under the table.

Rosie cocked her head, "You're not in here because you were planning on sneaking off - but you aren't supposed to be in here to distract them from their work either, so you can be helpful or you can stay being a nice, quiet tiger under there - or you can come through with me and Tommy."

Tommy cleared his throat, "You were supposed to be collecting the rubbish and bringing it to me to put in the fire," he reminded the bab, speaking up for the first time since Rosie had taken charge of the room.

She bit her lip and there was a slightly awkward silence, in which her padding steps sounded like stamps as she got out from under the table and went to retrieve the bin he'd given her.

"Right - well - as the two eldest, I'm leaving the rest of the night in your hands to organsie," Rosie said to Finn and Isaiah, "So Tommy and I will go back through and let you get on with it. But you mind the consequences that are facing you all if its not done, y'hear? Alright, good."

She returned the nods she was getting and ran her fingers through George's hair before patting him on the head and turning to go. Tommy lingered for a moment to watch George flatten his hair, his expression sour - though his eyes lingered on Rosie as she walked away and Tommy didn't reckon the annoyance on his nephew's face quite reached those eyes.

"Alright - you heard her - get on with it," he said, wanting to make sure he backed her up - and to remind them that he was there and that he still held some of the same authority Rosie had just wielded.

He closed the shop doors, chucked the cigarette of George's into the fire along with the remnants of his own and went after Rosie.

"Well, you got the law laid down enough that I don't imagine there'll be any more chat about you not being able to make them do or not do things," he said, forcing a smile.

"Why would he ask me that, Tommy? Why would that child - that child who is loved, why would he ask that?" she replied, her arms crossed as if to protect herself, her face looking somehow aged and grey, everything she had pushed down when she'd been faced with George and his questions rushing to the surface.

"C'mere," he said, going to her and pulling her to him.

"I know John struggles - but he's not - he's not like my mother was Tommy. I know he's not - not always the best judge of how to handle things, but surely George knows he's loved for God's sake!" her voice was croaky, breaking in the way she hadn't let it when they'd been in the shop.

"It'll be better when Esme comes," he said, hugging her tight.

She nodded against him, but said, "I know - but I've told John plenty before now that he needs to be telling those children that he loves them. It's - I never heard that, Tommy. I never - that - that question - that's one I would have asked and when you're a kid you don't know any different. You think you're the problem. But Molly was the problem - I told you that - about how I finally figured that out when she turned on Lily. But John isn't Molly. He does love them, but he doesn't tell them. And kids don't know if they're being abused or not, they don't understand that - they just know - they just know how they feel. Or what they're told. And he feels he isn't loved. But he is!"

"Of course he is," Tommy agreed, still holding her tight to him, "They all are." He rubbed her back for a while, swaying her gently, trying to soothe her before he said, "But men aren't brought up to talk about their feelings, Rosie. John wasn't. That's why the kids need a mother - why John needs a woman. That's the woman's role."

"That's bullshit Tommy," she said, pushing him a little so she could step back and look up at him, "You tell Lily and me that you love us all the time. We know that because you tell us - and you show us too. You always hug her or pick her up or have her on your lap."

"And John does that with Katie - or does it as much as she lets him," he replied, "But it's different - we're brought up to know you treat women - girls - more softly - but it's not how men are with one another."

"Finn knows you love him though."

"I told you - that's you. I'm far better with him now than I was."

"Yeah but you've broken the cycle Tommy - and now maybe when Finn has his kids he'll know to tell them he loves them and that he's proud of them and that they're important to him… Those words are so important, Thomas." His full name was the sign of her voice changing to being more and more agitated as she went on, her hands waving, "And it's not good enough for John not to use them then have you organise a marriage for him so there's a woman to use them for him - they'll mean far more to George coming from John than they will coming from anyone else - you or me or Esme. I mean, they'll mean nothing to him from Esme at first, will they? She's a stranger to him."

She was right of course, but things were what they were.

"It's not just that men aren't meant to be soft with other men anyway, Rosie," he said, his own voice going a little gruffer than he'd meant it to as he spoke on it, "It's the war. It's what we went through - what we saw, it leaves you…"

He trailed off and she softened her eyes as she looked at his face for a moment before she said quietly, "I know it is - I know it's the war. I know none of you came back the same as you went. But you funnelled it into the shop and the business. Arthur drinks to forget it. And John covers it with the jokes and the laughs and his flippancy. And I suspect it's part of it - that it's so against this nonsense idea of what you all were brought up to think is manly behaviour to be gentle or find a soft word for another male - even your own son - I suspect stomaching overcoming that would be a trial for John in the first place. But if he managed it, I suspect finding those words - serious words that might mean something, lay him bare like that - it might break him to do that, to let out something of what all those stupid jokes and daft comments hide."

Tommy didn't quite know what to say to that, so he hummed - not committing to agreeing for the sake of his brother's pride, even if he did reckon she was right.

"Maybe it would be better though - if he did break - at least there would be a chance of rebuilding rather than papering over cracks and acting like they're not there. Maybe like you said - apologise and take the bloody brick out, but build a better house for it."

He was saved from having to answer by the door going again.

"I'll get it," he said instead of responding to her, making to go for the door but she shook her head.

"I'll do it - it'll be the twins, and speaking to them will force me to pull myself together and calm down," she said, shaking her head and turning to the door, saying as she made her way over to it, "I don't like being like this when they're all in that shop and might come out at any moment - they don't need to be seeing me upset, won't do them any good."

He nodded, understanding her sentiment. Watching as she cleared her throat, rolled her shoulders and shook herself before reaching for the handle.

"What do you want?" she asked upon opening it.

It wasn't the twins.

"Now, Mrs Shelby," the patronising Irish tones hit Tommy's ear, making his fingers curl into a fist, "That's no way to speak to a member of the clergy, is it now?"

"Oh, forgive me," she replied sardonically, scoffing before, "Do let me try again." Her voice hardened to a knife point as she asked, "What the fuck do you want?"

Thank you as always for reading along - I really appreciate those of you who are still with me!