"Don't you want to come out to congratulate Minnowpaw, Marigoldpaw, and Mallowpaw?" Frostmask meowed temptingly.
Two pairs of large murky, kitten-blue eyes peered at her from the shadows under the thorn bush, blinking as they stared out at camp and the three freshly named apprentices.
Minnowpaw, Marigoldpaw, and Mallowpaw stood next to their mentors, Snakeeyes, Dustleap, and Murmurstep respectively, still basking in the Clan's attention after their ceremony.
Frostmask couldn't help but feeling proud for them too. ShadowClan's apprentice den had been empty for too long, and Frostmask was satisfied with the mentors she and Sedgestar had picked out for their Clan's newest trainees. Dustleap with his serious and rational disposition would do well tempering Marigoldpaw's more mischievous and impulsive nature— there was no way that adventurous young tom would be sneaking out of camp again under his new mentor's watch. Minnowpaw was shy, but Snakeeyes was the perfect cat to coast the her out of her shell. And, Murmurstep had worked so hard to prove herself ready to be a mentor. She would do well training her younger sister, Mallowpaw.
Although, a part of Frostmask wondered if last night's disaster of a gathering was part of the reason Sedgestar assigned them mentors so swiftly this morning. ShadowClan needed all of the warriors and warriors-in-training that they could get right now.
Shaking off her worry, Frostmask turned her attention back to Mistkit and Newtkit, taking in their hesitant expressions.
"Come on, the camp's not scary," she encouraged.
"I'm not scared!" Newtkit retorted, her orange-and-black ears flattening in a pout, but she still didn't take a single step out of the shelter of the nursery.
However, her gaze did linger enviously on Lichenkit, Sprucekit, Mudkit, and Fogkit as they pranced around their former den-mates. Marigoldpaw, Mallowpaw, and Minnowpaw had their chests puffed out as if they weren't kits themselves only moments ago, basking in the younger litter's congratulations and excitement.
Frostmask purred to herself, her heart warming in fondness. She remembered own apprentice ceremony, when Murmurstep and Mosspounce had been so excited for it to be theirs next. Although, Poolcloud and Dewleaf's litter still had a bit of a wait— three more moons— until it would be time for them to become apprentices.
After a few more moments, Dewleaf's four kits were ushered back towards the nursery as the older litter were swept away by their mentors, off to tour the territory for the first time. Sprucekit was scowling faintly as she trailed after her littermates, having to be repeatedly nudged by Dewleaf back towards the nursery.
"I think I could be an apprentice now!" Sprucekit was saying. "I'm as big as Minnowkit!"
"No, you're not," Dewleaf chided gently.
"Yes, I am!" Sprucekit protested, her ears flattening in a pout.
Dewleaf shot Frostmask an exasperated glance, and Frostmask purred, her whiskers twitching in amusement. Sprucekit took after Poolcloud with her size, and it was true that she was the largest in her litter. But, the kit was still nowhere the size of a six moon old apprentice.
"You still have quite a bit of growing left to do," Dewleaf said, trying another tactic.
"No, I don't!" Sprucekit argued.
Dewleaf sighed.
"You're delusional, my sweet tadpole," she said, rasping her tongue over Sprucekit's forehead.
Sprucekit's scowl deepened.
"What's 'delusional?'" Fogkit piped up, blinking curiously.
"It means Sprucekit believes things that are not true," Lichenkit broke in, shooting Sprucekit a look from narrowed amber eyes. "Like that she's ready to be a warrior apprentice right now."
Sprucekit's dark pelt bristled in offense, and she turned on her sister. "At least I'm not as delusional as you, Lichenkit, because you've been acting like you're a medicine cat apprentice for moons!"
"That's because Elmclaw has let me help him for moons," Lichenkit stated matter-of-factly.
Sprucekit lashed her tail.
"That's only because Mom and Dad didn't want you to keep eating weird plants, so they got Elmclaw to watch you!" she snapped. "Elmclaw's just your kit-sitter! He probably doesn't even want you as his apprentice."
Lichenkit's ears flattened, and her lips curled up in a snarl. "That's not true, frog-brain!"
"Kits, that's enough!" Dewleaf interrupted, her tone sharp. "No one is delusional! Stars, I was only joking. Sprucekit, stop being so mean. Elmclaw isn't Lichenkit's kit-sitter. And, Lichenkit, I'm sure Elmclaw would be happy to take you on as his apprentice, if that's what you want. But, the fact of the matter is no one is becoming an apprentice until they are six moons old, and that's that!"
Sprucekit huffed, her tail-tip flicking, and Lichenkit just silently stalked past her, brushing past Mistkit and Newtkit's faces to duck into the nursery.
"Hey Sprucekit, come practice the hunting crouch with me and Fogkit!" Mudkit called to her. "We can show Marigoldpaw, Minnowpaw, and Mallowpaw when they get back from patrolling!"
Sprucekit padded over to them, although her ears were still angled back irritably. Dewleaf sighed and gave her head a small shake. She took a seat next to Frostmask, but her eyes followed Sprucekit.
"I know she's just annoyed right now about not being an apprentice yet, but she can be so moody these days," Dewleaf murmured to her. "And, it seems like she and Lichenkit are always arguing. Even when Sprucekit's in a good mood, she likes to tease, and Lichenkit takes everything so literally… Sometimes I wonder if they even like each other at all." Dewleaf sighed again. "All of them were so much less difficult when they were younger."
"They're littermates. Of course they'll fight sometimes," Frostmask said, blinking gently at her friend. "That doesn't mean that they don't care about each other. Just look at Pineshade and Autumnleap."
One of Dewleaf's ears flicked thoughtfully.
"Or, me and Dampfang, I suppose," she muttered. "No matter our differences, we're still kin."
Frostmask's good mood faltered for a moment at the mention of Dampfang. When they'd gotten home from the gathering last night after the storm had broken, Sedgestar had called a Clan meeting. He'd explained the hostility ShadowClan had faced from all of the other Clans to their clan-mates that had stayed home, and when Dampfang spoke up this time, he and his supporters had been even more vocal about Frostmask putting ShadowClan at risk by remaining deputy.
The tip of Frostmask's tail twitched against the ground, her belly rolling with worry and frustration.
I doubt me being deputy is really ShadowClan's biggest problem. The real issue is whoever is stirring up the tensions between the Clans and making everything worse! I need to figure the cat behind all this before situation with us,ThunderClan, and WindClan, or any of the others deteriorates more. Or, before Dampfang turns my own clan-mates against me.
Frostmask gave her ears a small shake, trying to dislodge her growing despair.
Mottledflame and Larchtail need to come with Birdstrike to Fourtrees today! I need answers from her. What will I do if they don't show up?
"Hey look!" Sprucekit's loud voice cut through Frostmask's thoughts. "Are the little kits going to finally come out and play?"
Frostmask blinked, her gaze finding Sprucekit crouched down and peering down at Newtkit and Mistkit, who remained hovering just inside the den's entrance.
"Come on! We'll teach you the hunter's crouch!" Sprucekit encouraged.
She stalked forward a few steps in demonstration and batted at the bramble bush's leaves just above Newtkit and Mistkit's head. Newtkit let out a soft hiss as small shredded pieces of leaves fell down on her and Mistkit.
"Stop it, Sprucekit!" she said, swiping the leaves off her nose before turning to Mistkit and brushing them off him.
"Come out, and you won't get leaves on you," Sprucekit pointed out, her whiskers quivering in amusement. "Unless you're scared."
Newtkit's chin jutted out stubbornly.
"We're not," she insisted, Mistkit nodding in agreement.
"Then why don't you—"
"Sprucekit," Dewleaf broke in, her expression tired at having to reprimand her daughter for a second time in such quick succession. "Mistkit and Newtkit will come out in their own time. Stop pestering them."
Sprucekit straightened, turning to look back at her mother.
"But they're been in the nursery forever!" she protested. "We were younger than them when we came out, right?"
"Yes, but different litters do things at their own pace," Frostmask spoke up gently. "Besides, it hasn't been that long. They're only a little over a moon old."
Sprucekit's blue-green gaze flickered between Frostmask and Dewleaf, her brow furrowing in confusion.
"But why can't their pace be now?" she asked. "Don't they want to play in the camp? Is there something wrong with them? Dampfang said they don't have Clan-blood so they can't do things right, like we—"
As Sprucekit spoke, a white-hot, protective anger flared in Frostmask's chest. She jerked to her paws, her jaw clenched and pelt bristling, and Sprucekit cut off. Despite her anger, Frostmask's love for Sprucekit was enough to keep her silent instead of allowing her fury at Dampfang and the poisonous ideas that he put in the kit's head spill out onto her.
Sprucekit is still so young— she can't fully understand what she's saying.
Sprucekit crouched, wide-eyed and frozen under the heat of Frostmask's gaze.
"I'll talk to her," Dewleaf murmured, brushing her tail reassuringly against Frostmask's side, and Frostmask realized at that she was on her paws now too. Dewleaf nodded towards the nursery. "You should talk to them."
Frostmask blinked, her eyes finally tearing off of Sprucekit to move back to the nursery's entrance. But, it was empty now. Newtkit and Mistkit must have retreated back into the den.
"Sprucekit, come here," Dewleaf called, her voice laced with disappointment.
Sprucekit at least seemed to know that she had done something wrong because for the first time today, she actually looked contrite. She obeyed Dewleaf without protest, her head and tail held low and her ears flat.
"I'm sorry," Sprucekit whispered, stopping Frostmask as she passed her on the way to the nursery. "I didn't mean to say… I don't want Newtkit and Mistkit to hate me. I just wasn't thinking."
Sprucekit peered up at her with round, guilty eyes, and Frostmask sighed, the rest of her anger ebbing.
"You can apologize to them later," she muttered. "Go talk to your mother now."
Frostmask turned and slipped into the nursery. The first cat that greeted her was Lichenkit, sitting still and wide-eyed like an owl near the entrance.
"They're upset," she said, her ears angling towards two small lumps huddled together in the back of the den. "Sprucekit was mean to them."
Frostmask sighed again.
"I know, Lichenkit," Frostmask murmured. "Can you do me a favor and fetch Autumnleap? He's somewhere in camp."
Lichenkit nodded solemnly. She rose to her paws and left the den, leaving only Frostmask and her kits inside. Frostmask padded over to them. Newtkit was glaring down at her paws as Mistkit licked her head repeatedly in a soothing gesture. Both of them turned wide eyes onto Frostmask as she lay down, her tail wrapping around them.
"Why did Spucekit say that?" Mistkit meowed in a quiet voice.
"Yeah! There's nothing wrong!" Newtkit hissed, burrowing her face into Frostmask's pelt. "…Right Mama?"
"There's nothing wrong with you," Frostmask soothed, bending her head to rasp her tongue over Newtkit's prickling ginger and black fur before doing the same to Mistkit's grey pelt. "You will come out of the nursery when you're ready."
The kits were quiet for a long couple of moments.
"I don't… I don't want to come out," Newtkit mumbled the confession into Frostmask's fur. "I'm scared. Does that mean Sprucekit is right?"
"No, it doesn't mean that," Frostmask said firmly. "But, you don't need to be scared. Autumnleap and I will always protect you. Poolcloud, Dewleaf, and Pineshade will too."
Newtkit was silent, her face still hidden in Frostmask's pelt.
"Why are you scared?" Frostmask prompted.
Autumnleap slipped into the den at that moment. She blinked at him in a silent greeting as he settled down at her side.
"Lichenkit told me what happened," he murmured in Frostmask's ear.
Frostmask gave him a small nod before turning her attention back to her still-quiet kits.
"Well?" she prompted.
"I don't want to go without Newtkit," Mistkit murmured. "And Newtkit doesn't want to go."
"Newtkit?" Autumnleap asked, giving her small, tortoiseshell side a nudge with his muzzle as she continued to hide her face in Frostmask's pelt.
"It's… it's a bad feeling," Newtkit's voice was barely above a whisper. "I don't know… The nursery is safe."
"The camp is safe too," Autumnleap said.
Newtkit peeked out of Frostmask's pelt slightly. "But, I've been outside before, and it was bad."
Frostmask blinked hard a few times, her concern and confusion growing in her chest as she exchanged a baffled look with Autumnleap. Had Newtkit left the nursery before, and they not realized? Had something happened to her?
The fur on the back of Frostmask's neck bristled as a horrifying concept occurred to her.
Did Dampfang do something, or say something to her?!
"What do you mean, tadpole?" Frostmask murmured to Newtkit, managing to keep her mew quiet and gentle despite the tension knotting inside her.
"The outside," Newtkit explained, her ears flattening. "I'm there when I sleep."
Autumnleap's head tilted to the side as he tried to understand.
"Do you mean you have dreams of being outside?" he asked, his voice soft.
Newtkit gave a nod.
"It's scary," she said in a small mew, curling in on herself more tightly.
Frostmask's brow furrowed in confusion, and she tucked her tail over her kits a bit more to comfort them.
Could it be possible that Newtkit remembered, at least on some level, the time she'd been outside of the ShadowClan nursery when she and Mistkit were newborns? Was that what was giving her nightmares?
"But, we've not been outside before?" Mistkit said, the statement coming out more like a question, as if he wasn't quite sure of it himself.
Frostmask exchanged another look with Autumnleap. When they'd first took the kits in, they'd decided that they wouldn't hide their true origins from them, as Frostmask's origins had been hidden from her. Was now the time they should tell them the truth?
Autumnleap inclined his head to her.
Up to you, his amber gaze said. I'll follow your lead.
Frostmask blinked and took a deep breath, steadying herself.
"You two have been outside before," she said, speaking before she could lose her nerve. "You were actually born out there."
Their two pairs of huge eyes turned to her, tiny brows furrowing in confusion.
"But aren't kits born in the nursery?" Mistkit asked.
"Yes. In ShadowClan they usually are," Frostmask said, choosing her words carefully. "But, you two were born outside of ShadowClan territory. Autumnleap and I are your parents… but I didn't actually give birth to you. He and I found you in the woods. The queen who had given birth to you had… had gone to StarClan. So, Autumnleap and I took you in."
Both Newtkit and Mistkit blinked hard, confusion and fear darkening their features. Frostmask's heart twisted, the desire to shower them with reassurances building in her.
"But, just because you were born outside of ShadowClan, that doesn't mean that Frostmask and I aren't your parents," Autumnleap said before Frostmask could even open her jaws again. "We both love you so much."
Frostmask nodded hard in agreement, forcing a purr as she curled her body more tightly around their kits. The pair didn't try to shy away from her, but their small bodies remained stiff, stunned into silence and stillness. Her belly twisted.
Please say something.
"…So it's true? We don't have Clan-blood?" Newtkit finally rasped. "There's something wrong with us?"
Frostmask's muscles tensed.
"No," she said, her body vibrating with the force of the word.
"But we aren't ShadowClan," Mistkit muttered, despair flooding his expression.
Frostmask gave her ears a shake.
"That's not true. Do you think I'm not ShadowClan?" Frostmask said.
Both of her kits gasped, their eyes rounding.
"What? No! You're the deputy!" Newtkit exclaimed. "That's like the most ShadowClan!"
Mistkit nodded solemnly. "Besides Sedgestar."
"Besides Sedgestar," Newtkit amended.
Despite the seriousness of the situation, Frostmask had to resist the impulse to twitch her whiskers in amusement at the kits' innocent perception of their world.
"That's right, I'm ShadowClan's deputy," Frostmask said. "But, I wasn't born in ShadowClan."
Frostmask blinked down at her kits, taking in their shocked, wide-eyed expressions as they tried to absorb this new piece of information.
"…Like us?" Newtkit finally asked.
"Yes," Frostmask murmured. "I was born out in the forest. My parents weren't ShadowClan cats, but ShadowClan took me in when I was a kit, about the same age that you are now."
Mistkit and Newtkit exchanged a glance as if they were still struggling to believe such a thing could be true. Frostmask rumbled a comforting purr, her heart warming with fondness as she gazed at her kits.
"Being in ShadowClan isn't about having Clan-blood," she mewed gently. "It's about having the hearts of true ShadowClan warriors." Frostmask bent her head, nuzzling their downy-soft sides. "You two belong here, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
Mistkit started to purr in response, and after another moment, Newtkit echoed him. Frostmask shot a relieved glance at Autumnleap. She was sure that the kits would still need some time to come to terms with the news, but thankfully they seemed to be accepting it well enough, all things considered.
Frostmask's attention was pulled to the nursery's entrance as the bush rustled. Dewleaf's head poked inside, blinking her blue-green eyes over at them.
"Sprucekit has something she'd like to say to Mistkit and Newtkit, if that's alright," Dewleaf said.
Mistkit's eyes widened in a look of faint worry, but he blinked in acceptance. However, Newtkit's little black and orange brow furrowed, and she buried her face back into Frostmask's pelt.
"I don't wanna see her," Newtkit's muffled voice said.
Autumnleap brushed his tail reassuringly down their daughter's side.
"Let's at least hear her out, okay?" he said.
Frostmask gave Dewleaf a nod, and she withdrew from the entrance, allowing Sprucekit to pad inside. The kit seemed nervous, her neck fur prickling slightly. She took a pace or two inside and stopped a few tail-lengths away from where Frostmask, Autumnleap and the kits curled up to shuffle her paws.
"I'm sorry, Newtkit and Mistkit," Sprucekit said, her gaze downcast towards the mossy nest. "I didn't mean it. I just wanted you to come out and play."
Newtkit's tail twitched sullenly, her face still turned away from the older kit. Mistkit at least looked at Sprucekit, but he also remained silent. Sprucekit anxiously kneaded her claws into the mossy nest, shooting Frostmask a wide-eyed, worried look, seemingly afraid that her fears of the two younger kits now hating her had come true.
As the silence stretched on for another few moments, Newtkit finally lifted her face from Frostmask's side and shot Sprucekit a fierce glance.
"Frostmask told us that we weren't born in ShadowClan," Newtkit sniffed. "But, Frostmask wasn't born in ShadowClan either, and she's great! She's the deputy!"
Mistkit nodded in agreement with his sister, and Sprucekit's ears twisted back as she shot another guilty look at Frostmask.
"I know…" she muttered, her gaze turning back to the kits. "I'm sorry I said that. I… Do you two want to come play now? Me, Fogkit and Mudkit were gonna play Clan-attack. They are ThunderClan, and I was gonna be ShadowClan. But, you can be ShadowClan too, if you want."
Mistkit's ears pricked in interest. "Play outside?"
Sprucekit nodded. "There's not enough room in the nursery."
Newtkit shifted uneasily against Frostmask's flank, but Mistkit's tail flicked in excitement, clearly enticed by Sprucekit's peace offering.
"I think that's a wonderful idea," Autumnleap declared, already rising to his paws. "Why don't we go do that, Mistkit and Newtkit?"
Sprucekit's face brightened in relief, enthusiasm sparking in her eyes.
"I'll go tell Mudkit and Fogkit!" She whirled around, and dashed from the den.
Mistkit seemed just as excited at the prospect of the game. The normally mellow kit's pelt rippled with eagerness as he bounced around Autumnleap's paws.
"Are you gonna play on our team too, Dad?" Mistkit asked, blinking up at him.
Autumnleap's whiskers quivered in amusement. "I doubt it would be very fair if I did. I'm a full grown warrior!"
"But then we will always win!" Mistkit squeaked.
Autumnleap mrrowed loudly as he headed for the den's exit. "Good point! Excellent strategic thinking, Mistkit."
Newtkit was still pressed into Frostmask's side. Frostmask gently nosed her kit's face before she slid her off her flank and stood as well.
"You don't have to go out if you don't want to," Frostmask murmured to her. "But, Autumnleap and I will be right here with you and your brother if you do."
Newtkit gave an uncertain blink, but nodded, trailing after Frostmask as they headed for the nursery's exit. Autumnleap left first, Mistkit following him after only hesitating a heartbeat at the den's threshold. Frostmask poked her head into the thorny tunnel, but didn't fully exit the den yet as Newtkit lingered inside.
"I'm still scared," Newtkit confessed, her small ears folding against her head. "But I should be brave. ShadowClan warriors are brave."
"Being scared doesn't mean that you're not also brave," Frostmask murmured, turning her gaze back to her kit. "You are brave. You've been outside the nursery already. You've even been outside the camp! Not even the other kits have done that yet."
Newtkit blinked hard a few times, her head tilting to the side as she considered Frostmask's words. A fire suddenly sparked to life in her eyes, and her expression creased in determination. After only a heartbeat more of hesitation, she padded out of the den, Frostmask following close behind.
Frostmask's heart nearly burst with pride as her kits took their first steps into ShadowClan's camp, their blinking eyes wide and dancing around the clearing as they took in their first unobstructed view.
"It's so big," Mistkit breathed.
Autumnleap purred fondly.
"You'll be used to it in no time," he said, before he started flicking his tail in the direction of dens, already launching into explaining what they were. "That huge boulder is the Clanrock. Sedgestar calls meetings from on top of it, but the cave beneath is the medicine cat's den where Elmclaw sleeps and keeps all his herbs. Sedgestar's den is actually beneath the Oak Tree, you can just barely see the tunnel there in the roots…"
"They're out!" a voice cried, interrupting him.
In only a moment, Mudkit rushed over, followed by his littermates as Poolcloud's litter mobbed the younger kits.
"You can finally play our games with us!" Fogkit said, gleefully bouncing up and down on his toes.
"Sprucekit said that we got to be ShadowClan," Newtkit meowed quickly, shooting Sprucekit a sharp look as if uncertain if she'd keep her word, but the older kit just dipped her head in agreement.
As the gang of kits scampered off to play, even Lichenkit joining her siblings, Dewleaf shot Frostmask a pleased glance. Frostmask's purr grew louder, happiness swelling in her chest to see the kits all playing together despite their argument. Frostmask wished that Poolcloud and Pineshade could be here to witness it too, but the morning patrols were still out, so most ShadowClan warriors were absent from camp.
Frostmask settled in with Autumnleap to watch their kits, relieved to see the older litter being gentle with the younger kits, despite how they tackled their littermates with unbridled ferocity. Frostmask leaned against Autumnleap's fluffy side, contentment settling over her like a soft blanket of moss.
The morning stretched on as the kits played, and Frostmask shot a glance towards the sun. It was ticking higher into the sky, sending worry prickling through her pelt. She had to leave camp soon if she wanted to meet Larchtail and Mottledflame with Birdstrike at Fourtrees on time. Frostmask's stomach sank at the thought of having to leave in the middle of Newtkit's and Mistkit's first time out in camp, but who knew when the next chance she'd get to speak with Birdstrike? If she stood up Larchtail and Mottledflame, she may not get a next chance at all.
How else will I truly know what Paledusk is capable of? Finding out the truth about my parents is important, especially if Paledusk is involved in provoking the other Clans against ShadowClan. She reminded herself.
…But is this more important than your kits? Another thought whispered in response.
Frostmask gave her ears a sharp shake to dislodge the idea before she got the chance to dwell on it. If tensions between the Clans stayed this high, her kits would be at risk. Their safety had to come above her spending time with them, no matter how much it felt like thorns nettling her. Frostmask turned to Autumnleap, stretching up to put her muzzle closer to his ear.
"I have to go," Frostmask muttered.
His eyes widened in understanding.
"Hold on," he said. "I'll walk you out."
Frostmask nodded in acceptance as Autumnleap sprung to his paws and bounded over to Dewleaf.
"Hey," he meowed to her. "Do you mind watching the kits for a few heartbeats? Frostmask and I are just going to step out of camp for a moment."
"No problem," Dewleaf said with a flick of her tail.
Autumnleap nodded to Frostmask and started padding towards the thorn tunnel, Newtkit and Mistkit too distracted by play to even notice them leaving. Frostmask trailed just behind Autumnleap's bushy red tail as they slipped out of camp. Autumnleap walked for a little while longer until they were comfortably out of earshot of anyone in the camp before he finally turned back to her, his amber eyes round with concern.
"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" Autumnleap asked. "You are meeting with enemy warriors."
Frostmask nodded, even as her stomach clenched a bit in worry.
"I'm sure. I need to go alone," she said. "Mottledflame and Larchtail aren't expecting anyone but me. It might spook them if they saw I brought someone else, and I can't afford to miss speaking with Birdstrike. Everyday that passes without me figuring this out is a day closer to a disaster for us." Frostmask clenched her jaw to try to keep the anxiety at bay, but she couldn't entirely suppress the shudder that rippled through her pelt. "I can feel it coming."
"I could hide in the bushes and only come out if you need me," Autumnleap offered, his tail-tip moving in quick, worried tics.
Frostmask shook her head. "And, if they happen to notice you, they'll think it's some kind of ambush or spying, and things would be even worse than the first scenario."
Autumnleap heaved a loud sigh of defeat, his ears angling back. Frostmask stepped towards him, lightly brushing her muzzle against his cheek and breathing in his familiar, earthy scent.
"Besides, the kits need one of us here today," Frostmask murmured. "It's been a big day for them, especially with all the information we told them about their past, and mine. They will need you to answer their questions, and to comfort and reassure them."
Autumnleap pressed his cheek back to hers in return with slightly increased pressure.
"You could stay here to comfort them too," he murmured. "But, I won't say that you don't have to go. I know you do. Just please stay safe."
"I trust Larchtail and Mottledflame," Frostmask said as if reiterating it would make her completely believe it.
Autumnleap withdrew his head to blink at her solemnly.
"Still, be careful," he said.
"I always am," Frostmask said with a gentle blink back at him. "I'll be back soon."
"But, if you're not back by the time Dustleap starts complaining about the evening patrols being assigned late, I'm coming after you," Autumnleap said, his brow furrowing. "And, there's nothing you can say to stop me from doing that."
Frostmask purred, her chest warming with affection. "Of course. I will be eagerly awaiting your rescue."
"Good," Autumnleap said, starting to purr a bit too. He twitched his ears towards the trees. "Now you should get going before I come to my senses about this frog-brained meeting, and enlist Poolcloud's help in trapping you in the camp with me and the kits."
With a final mrrow of amusement, Frostmask waved her tail in goodbye and headed into ShadowClan's forest.
Her first stop was a patch of chervil that she rolled in thoroughly to disguise her scent. Frostmask then set her paws in the direction of Fourtrees, but her journey there was slower than normal since she avoided ShadowClan's most frequently used trails. She didn't want to run into a curious clan-mate— or StarClan forbid, Dampfang— and risk them asking her where she was going.
The late greenleaf air around Frostmask was heavy with humidity, and tiny bugs buzzed incessantly around her ears as she trotted through the woods, but the insects faded as she left the marshier parts of the territory behind her. Before long, she'd reached the thunderpath. Frostmask slipped through the damp tunnel, back to taking the route through ThunderClan. Both WindClan and ThunderClan seemed more or less equal hostile to ShadowClan these days, and the ThunderClan route was faster. She'd just have to be careful.
Frostmask slowed when she stepped into the light pouring in from the end of the tunnel. Her whiskers twitching warily as she scented the air, Frostmask poked her muzzle out of the hole. When no strong scent of ThunderClan greeted her, Frostmask allowed the rest of her head to emerge beneath the dense bramble bush that sheltered the tunnel. She kept her ears flat against her head to disguise her silhouette as her eyes darted around the surrounding area, confirming what her nose and ears already told her— there was no ThunderClan warriors nearby.
Frostmask crawled out of the tunnel and squished herself flat to the ground to wiggle under the brambles, careful to not leave any snags of fur behind on the thorns. Her long fur added a bit of challenge, but Frostmask was lucky that her smaller size allowed her to weave through the tendrils fairly easily.
Once she was clear of the bush, Frostmask picked up the pace to a brisk clip. She kept her ears pricked and her mouth open to taste the air as she jogged through the woods, dodging through ThunderClan's infuriatingly thick undergrowth. Her heart thumped with nervousness at the thought of a ThunderClan patrol appearing, but the forest was still, and soon enough, the ground beneath her paws began to slope downwards as she approached Fourtrees.
Frostmask brushed through a dense patch of ferns and the four mighty oaks appeared in the hollow below her, their soaring green-leaf canopies rustling in the slight breeze. Sunlight edged their leaves golden, and as Frostmask began down the slope, it instilled a sense of discontent in her. It felt wrong padding up to Fourtrees in the middle of the day. She was only ever used to seeing the four massive oaks and the Great Rock cast in shades of silver from the starlight and the moon. While Fourtrees was technically always neutral grounds, even outside of the full moon, unease about being noticed in the area still swirled in Frostmask's belly. Both ThunderClan and WindClan seemed to be looking for any sort of excuse to be more aggressive towards ShadowClan. Frostmask didn't want to give more reason for their anger by being spotted at Fourtrees.
To alleviate her paranoia, Frostmask didn't enter the clearing that surrounded the Great Rock, instead choosing to remain in the shelter of the ring of undergrowth. Hidden from prying gazes, she crouched down to wait. The sun was still inching higher in the sky, and Frostmask allowed her eyes to close for a few heartbeats, hoping the warmth of the light on her back could melt away her mounting nerves. If she had remained in ShadowClan today, with her friends, mate, and kits, where she belonged, she'd still be in camp right now, enjoying a nap, sharing tongues, or eating some fresh-kill as her Clan rested through the brightest, hottest part of the day. But, instead she was here in Fourtrees, in the middle of the day, waiting for SkyClan warriors to appear, when she had no idea if they would.
The sound of rustling leaves made Frostmask's eyes snap back open. Any fragile sense of calm she'd deluded herself into feeling vanished as instead her whole body knotted in tension. Her gaze darted across the clearing, searching for movement as her claws unsheathed and dug into the ground.
Is it Larchtail and Mottledlfame? Or someone else? A WindClan patrol? A ThunderClan one?
An unfamiliar, rasping voice reached Frostmask's ears, but it was too muffled and mumbled for her to decipher any words. Another, clearer, voice responded to it, and Frostmask's ears jutted up as she recognized it.
"It's good for you to get out of camp every so often," Larchtail was meowing. "We will head back soon."
Relief washed over Frostmask like rain, and she had to bite her tongue to keep herself for letting out a sudden mew of joy.
They came!
"Isn't it nice to be at Fourtrees, Birdstrike?" that was Mottledflame's soft, lilting voice now. "It's been a while since you were last here, right?"
"What are you meowing on about?" Birdstrike grumbled. "I was just here last gathering! It was a doozy too."
Frostmask blinked. Birdstrike had not been at the last gathering— Frostmask would have certainly noticed if she was.
It must be another part of her confusion.
"I still can't believe Darkstar," Birdstrike continued, disdain filling her voice. "What a useless excuse for a leader. I hope he drops dead any day now and Raincloud takes over! She'd be so much better than him!"
Frostmask's brow furrowed.
Darkstar? Is she talking about the leader of SkyClan before Fennelstar?
Concern trickled through Frostmask. Fennelstar had been SkyClan's leader for seasons upon seasons now. Paledusk had told her that Darkstar had died and Fennelstar had become leader before he'd even been born.
How much information will I be able to get out of Birdstrike if she's so confused? Will she think I'm May, like I hoped she would? Or will she not even remember ever knowing about May at all?
The undergrowth at the edge of the clearing rustled, and Larchtail and Mottledflame emerged, Birdstrike reluctantly trailing behind them. On the surface, the elder looked much the same as Frostmask had last saw her— thin, with some mats at the ends of her long grey and white fur as if she kept forgetting to groom, but with some strength left in her wiry muscles and broad shoulders. But, Birdstrike's eyes were cloudy as they roved around the Fourtrees clearing. Frostmask had seen her gaze like that before, when she'd gotten lost in her memories, but the cloudiness would usually clear after some moments. It didn't dispel this time.
Mottledflame's and Larchtail's eyes also flickered around the clearing, but Frostmask knew that they were looking for her. Frostmask parted her lips, drinking in the air to double-check for any additional scents beyond the three of them. She didn't notice anything, but the SkyClan cats were clearly wary too. Larchtail's tail tip flicked in constant, anxious motion, but Mottledflame laid their tail on hers to still it, giving Larchtail a soothing blink.
"Okay, we saw Fourtrees. Can we go back to camp now? My paws are tired," Birdstrike complained.
"In a moment…" Mottledflame murmured, their eyes still searching the clearing.
Frostmask knew she should emerge soon, but nervousness still gripped her. Even though it seemed like they came alone as promised, Frostmask still had to be careful with her approach. She couldn't risk spooking Birdstrike by suddenly appearing out of the undergrowth. Everything hinged on the elder being at least willing to speak with her.
Birdstrike had now taken a seat with an irritated huff. She began to wash the long fur between her toes, but she got distracted after a few licks, her gaze rocketing upwards as a sparrow dived over her head with a shrill alarm call. Like a crack of lightning, Birdstrike leapt. Frostmask's jaw went slack at the height the elder managed, easily reaching the bird, her long claws flashing out and snagging into its feathers. The sparrow let out a desperate cry that was abruptly cut short as Birdstrike slammed it to the ground under her paws, snapping its spine.
"Birdstrike!" Larchtail said, almost jumping out of her fur at the elder's sudden leap. "What are you doing?! You could hurt yourself!"
"I thought you said your paws were tired," Mottledflame added in a much milder tone, their whiskers twitching in faint amusement.
"Our Clan needs to be fed doesn't it?!" Birdstrike said, taking a seat next to her catch and curling her bushy tail around her paws. "Just because you two have been lazy, useless lumps of fur this hunting patrol, doesn't mean that I need to be."
"But, this isn't a hunting patrol… Oh forget it," Larchtail sighed, her ears angling back.
"Don't worry Doepaw," Birdstrike said, blinking at Larchtail. "I'm sure your mentor will teach you how to hunt sparrows soon."
Larchtail sighed again. "Okay, Birdstrike."
Frostmask took that as her cue to begin her approach. Still sticking to the shadows of the undergrowth, she slunk around the clearing until she was about a tree-length away from the SkyClan cats. Not wanting to startle them by popping up too close, Frostmask stepped out of the ferns. Birdstrike and Mottledflame were looking in the other direction, but Larchtail's eyes darted to Frostmask right away. Frostmask dipped her head in greeting.
"Hi," she said in a soft voice. "I'm so glad you decided to come."
"Frostmask." Larchtail visibly relaxed as her gaze swept the undergrowth behind her and took in the fact that she was alone. "It's good to see you."
Mottledflame's muzzle also whipped towards her, a friendly purr building in their throat. Frostmask glanced towards Birdstrike. Despite the impressively fast reflexes she'd shown with catching the bird, she hadn't turned towards the sound of Frostmask's voice.
Can she not hear me?
Frostmask swallowed hard as if bracing herself to leap into a pool of water.
Well, here goes nothing.
Frostmask lifted a paw and shot Larchtail a questioning glance. "May I approach?"
Larchtail's ears flicked nervously, and she shot a glance over her shoulder towards Birdstrike.
"Yes, but… she can be unpredictable," Larchtail warned.
Frostmask put on the most confident face she could muster.
"I can handle it," she said.
Frostmask kept a fairly wide berth as she circled around Larchtail and Mottledflame and approached the edge of Birdstrike's line of sight. The elder still didn't glance towards her.
"Birdstrike?" Frostmask attempted, raising her voice slightly.
Birdstrike blinked as if stirring from a dream. Her head turned slowly at first, but as she caught sight of Frostmask, her rheumy eyes stretched wide in shock. Then, as quick as a flash, she'd whirled around on her paws, her claws unsheathed and her tail already lashing.
"What are you doing here?!" Birdstrike hissed, arching her back.
Frostmask stopped her approach, but maintained a relaxed posture, careful to keep her ears pricked and tail lifted so her body language looked as pacifying as possible.
Is it working? Does Birdstrike think I'm May? Or does she just think I'm a random rogue or stranger?
"I just want to talk," Frostmask said.
Birdstrike snorted, baring yellowed fangs.
"I have nothing to say to the likes of you," she spat. "Clan-mates, chase off the trespasser!"
Birdstrike took a few stiff-legged steps towards Frostmask, her tail thrashing and her pelt puffing out around her. But, after a moment, Birdstrike stopped her approach and turned a puzzled glance back on Larchtail and Mottledflame as she realized they weren't following her.
"What's wrong? Doepelt? Why aren't you chasing her off!" Birdstrike rasped.
Larchtail dipped her head.
"I think we should hear her out, Birdstrike," she said in a low voice.
Birdstrike growled in response. Her narrowed eyes met Frostmask's, the reproach in her gaze clear, but she didn't try to attack again. Frostmask could feel Larchtail's and Mottledflame's gazes on her too, full of intent, silent curiosity. Frostmask took a deep breath. Larchtail and Mottledflame had done their part, bringing Birdstrike here. But, getting any useful piece of information from Birdstrike's confused mind would be entirely up to Frostmask.
"You look familiar," Frostmask began, putting herself in the paw-prints of her mother. "We've met before, haven't we? My name is May."
Birdstrike's only response was curling back her lip to bare yellowed fangs again.
"I'm looking for someone— a clan-mate of yours," Frostmask pressed on, trying not to let Birdstrike's reticence get to her. "Slatewhisker."
Birdstrike rumbled an ominous growl and took another stride closer to Frostmask. She was only a few tail-lengths away now, and her gaze seemed to burn into Frostmask's as she stretched herself up to her full-height, towering over her.
"You'll stay away from him and the rest of SkyClan, if you know what's good for you, rogue," Birdstrike spat, digging long, unsheathed claws into the ground.
Frostmask found her mouth suddenly dry. Despite Birdstrike's confusion and age, it was difficult for Frostmask to not be at least a little intimidated by the elder's size, scarred pelt, and the fury smoldering in her expression. The formidable warrior Birdstrike had once been was all too obvious.
"Please, I don't want a fight," Frostmask said, lowering her eyes from hers in a calming gesture. "I'm just worried about him. I haven't seen him in some time."
Birdstrike's ears twitched, a look of confusion darkening her expression.
"What?" she snapped. "That can't be right. He was with you just when I chased you off our territory."
Frostmask's eyes widened, relief sparking across her pelt. She'd been right! Birdstrike had met May. Now she just had to dig in deeper to find out everything she knew about her and Paledusk.
At this news about Slatewhisker, Larchtail gasped, but Birdstrike didn't even flick an ear back in her direction. It was as if she'd entirely forgotten that her two clan-mates were behind her. The anger in Birdstrike's eyes was dimming. Instead, a renewed cloudiness replaced it as she got more and more lost in her own mind.
"Is this some kind of trick?!" Birdstrike demanded.
"No, it's not a trick," Frostmask said, trying to sooth her before she could get too confused.
Birdstrike's gaze seemed to refocus on Frostmask at least somewhat, and Frostmask's stomach churned with nerves. Unlike Birdstrike, Frostmask was much too aware of Mottledflame and Larchtail standing only a few tail-lengths behind her. Frostmask couldn't get the information she needed from Birdstrike without asking about Paledusk, but Larchtail and Mottledflame had no idea about Frostmask's relation to their deputy. Implicating Paledusk could turn Larchtail and Mottledflame against her, or worse— it could send them right to the SkyClan deputy to confess everything that happened today.
Dread filled her at the thought.
But I have no other choice.
Frostmask clenched her jaw, steeling herself.
"When you saw me with Slatewhisker, Paledusk was there too, right?" she asked.
Birdstrike hissed, her cloudy pupils contracting to tiny, furious slits. A sudden paw lashed out and bright pain burst through the back of Frostmask's head. Frostmask gasped and stumbled back a few steps, her ears ringing as the salty tang of blood wreathed the air around her. Frostmask lifted one of her paws to her head and the white fur came back splattered with red.
She clawed me!
"How dare you speak of my son like that!" Birdstrike snarled. "Paledusk would never do such a thing! Stay away from him! Stay away from both of them! I won't let you take them! I won't!"
As Birdstrike spoke, her voice rose to a nearly hysterical screech. She dug her bloodied claws into the dirt, looking only a moment away from lunging at Frostmask again. Larchtail and Mottledflame stared wide-eyed as Frostmask crouched, her muscles tense as she readied herself to spring out of the elder's way.
"I'm… I'm not trying to take them!" Frostmask said, still slightly dazed from the hard blow to her head. "I'm just… I'm trying to figure out what's going on."
"Well, you can't fool me, rogue," Birdstrike snarled. "I— I… I know what's going on."
Birdstrike's eyes darted from side to side. Her brow furrowed as her anger faded again, but her confusion was clearly mounting.
"But it does feel like a while since I've seen Slatewhisker," Birdstrike muttered, staring down at her paws as she seemed to speak no one in particular. "Where has he been? Is he at camp?"
The elder started to pace, her eyes fogging over. Larchtail blinked at her grandmother in concern. She took a few steps closer to her.
"…Birdstrike?" Larchtail meowed hesitantly.
The elder didn't respond, too lost again in her own mind.
Frostmask slowly lifted herself out of her defensive crouch, her belly heavy with disappointment as she stared at Birdstrike.
Birdstrike knew that Slatewhisker had known May— that much was obvious— but she so vehemently denied Paledusk doing the same… Even if she was somehow lying about it, Frostmask doubted there would be anyway she'd get Birdstrike to change her story at this point.
So Birdstrike can't tell me anything new about Paledusk and May, after all.
All Frostmask had really gotten from this conversation were new cuts on head, and all it'd done to Birdstrike was stress her out.
"But then why… No, it doesn't make any sense. Where is he?" Birdstrike was asking herself, blinking hard in confusion. "Where's my son?"
Pity grew in Frostmask as she watched the elder pace and mutter.
Maybe she shouldn't have suggested having this conversation at all. Frostmask had just confused and tormented Birdstrike by reminding her of a time when Slatewhisker had still be alive, but breaking the code by meeting with a rogue.
Frostmask sighed, her ears angling back.
Autumnleap was right. This was just a waste of everyone's time.
Frostmask exchanged a glance with Larchtail and Mottledflame, reading the discomfort in their expressions.
"I think that's enough," Larchtail said, padding forward to put herself between Frostmask and the elder. "We shouldn't put Birdstrike through anymore."
Frostmask dipped her head.
"I agree," she murmured. "I'm sorry. This didn't go the way I hoped. I didn't mean to upset her."
Larchtail just flicked an ear instead of responding. She turned to Birdstrike, causing the elder to jolt when she gently lay her tail over her back.
"Doepelt?" Birdstrike meowed, some of the fear and worry in her expression fading as she 'recognized' a familiar face.
"Let's go back to camp, Birdstrike," Larchtail said. "We've been out for a while, and you must be tired and hungry. I'm sure there's a nice, juicy squirrel on the freshkill pile there waiting for you. Do you want to carry back that sparrow you caught, or should I?"
Birdstrike blinked.
"But what about her?" she growled, whipping her head around to glower at Frostmask from over her shoulder.
Frostmask's ears pricked in surprise. She'd thought that Birdstrike would have forgotten that she was here by now.
"Er— Mottledflame will take care of chasing off the intruder," Larchtail said with a glance back at Frostmask. "You don't have to worry about her."
"Yes," Frostmask muttered. "Don't worry. I'm leaving."
She started to turn aside.
"Good riddance, flea-pelt!" Birdstrike snarled venomously, still glaring at her with enough hatred to set her pelt ablaze. "Go run back to the twoleg-place and your little kittypet friend!"
Frostmask froze mid-turn, Birdstrike's final words ringing in her ears.
"…Kittypet friend?" she echoed, her heart-rate picking up. Her head slowly rotated to look back at Birdstrike. "What kittypet friend?"
"Don't play dumb!" Birdstrike snapped, her tail lashing impatiently. "I saw him too, with you! The pudgy black-and-white runt. Make sure you tell him to never come back here again either, or I'll line my nest with his pelt!"
Frostmask stared at Birdstrike, desperate hope swelling in her chest.
There's another cat! Someone else who knew May, Paledusk, and Slatewhisker! Is he still out there somewhere? He has to be!
Frostmask wanted to rush over to Birdstrike and thank her over and over again. But, she knew that the SkyClan elder would despise nothing more than that, so Frostmask swallowed back her purrs of relief and simply dipped her head.
"I will. I'll tell him. And, I promise, I'll never bother you again, Birdstrike," she said solemnly.
Birdstrike just grunted, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. But, Frostmask's attention had already shifted off of her and to Larchtail and Mottledflame. Frostmask felt a jab of relief at the intrigue sparking in the two SkyClan warrior's gazes as they met her eyes. As much as Larchtail had acted reluctant to set up this meeting, she and Mottledflame were clearly curious about Bridstrike's mention of the kittypet too.
As Birdstrike became distracted by the sparrow sitting in the dust near her paws, Frostmask slunk over to Mottledflame and Larchtail.
"Can you take me to the twoleg-place? Please?" Frostmask murmured to them.
Mottledflame's hazel eyes shone with interest, but they flicked their ears at Larchtail, deferring to her. Larchtail's gaze met Frostmask's and held for only a heartbeat before she sighed in acquiescence. Now Frostmask couldn't silence her purr of relief. Against all odds, Birdstrike had given her a new lead.
A black-and-white kittypet. Now all I have to do is find him.
Author's Note: I'm so sorry that it's been so long since the last chapter! I've been having a crazy time of life lately (both bad things and good: my dog died, I bought and moved into my first house, I spent months studying for and passed the most difficult exam of my life, and lots more.) In all, it feels more like 5 years since the last update than 5 months. I've been slowly chipping away at the fic over the weeks, but it's just been challenging with everything else going on. As always though, I still promise that I will see this story through to the end (even if it takes me forever to do it lol.)
Anyway though, I hope you enjoy the update and as always, thank you so much for reading and for your support. I really appreciate it :)