A Multiversity of Bungholes
Blackwell Enterprises
In the morning, Beavis and Butt-head were there at the breakfast table with Daria.
"Beavis, I seem to recall you going a little… wild when you consume certain things," Daria told him, pouring just a small coffee for Beavis. "So this is all the coffee I'll let you have for today."
From what she remembered of the past, Beavis at once point became the Great Cornholio. And consuming too much sugar or other high energy foods had that effect on him.
"Yeah, Beavis better control his eating or he'll turn into a fatass!" Butt-head laughed. "Uh huh huh huh huh huh!"
"Same goes for you, Butt-head," Daria told him, pouring him a limited amount of coffee as well.
"So, like, what're we gonna do today?" asked Beavis.
"Well, Van Driessen already took you on a tour of Manhattan, right?" asked Daria.
"Yeah, and it sucked!" Butt-head declared. "Huh huh huh!"
"Hmm," Daria considered. "Maybe I could take you on a tour of Queens. There's also Coney Island we can go to. Or we could just hang around in Hell's Kitchen. As much as I've missed seeing you two, I'm not quite sure I should take you over to work just yet."
"Uh, that's okay," Butt-head told her. "Work sucks! Huh huh huh!"
"Yeah really," Beavis added. "It's, like, works sucks and all but Van Driessen still signed us up back to work at Burger World! What a butthole!"
"Let me guess, he did it without your consent?" asked Daria.
"Yeah, it's like he thinks he knows best," Butt-head told her. "But he's really just a long haired dumbass, huh huh huh!"
"Really," Beavis agreed. "I don't wanna go back and work at Burger World! That placed sucked, heh heh heh!"
"Just keep in mind it's the first time he's seen you guys in decades," Daria reminded them. "He probably thinks he's helping you two out. Just give Mr. Van Driessen a break, would you?"
"Uh… no," Butt-head said plainly. "Van Driessen's a hippie wuss and he always will be! Huh huh huh!"
"Heh heh heh heh heh!"
"So, um," Daria asked. "Has Van Driessen told you about what happened to some of the other people at Highland High? Like Mr. Buzzcut, Mr. McVicker, or my other former classmates?"
"Uh… he didn't say," Butt-head told her. "But McVicker's probably dead! Uh huh huh huh!"
"Well, that's does make sense," Daria conceded. "He was pretty old and I remember you two giving him a heart attack…"
The three hard a knock at the door soon enough.
Daria went over and opened it up, revealing her boyfriend Ed.
"Ed, what a surprise," Daria admitted.
Ed kissed her on the lips as both Beavis and Butt-head's eyes widened.
"Hi Daria, just thought I'd drop by," Edward told her. "Since I know you have work tonight, I figured I'd help lighten the load and give these boys a tour of my company."
"Huh huh huh, load…"
"Heh heh heh heh heh!"
"You're willing to do that?" asked Daria.
"Sure," Ed replied. "Besides, I'm researching time travel. Maybe these two can learn a thing or two. Or I might learn something from them."
"You two want to go?" asked Daria.
"Uh…do we, like, get free donuts there?" asked Butt-head.
"Amenities are provided," Blackwell promised.
"In that case, what're we waiting for?" Butt-head got up.
"Yeah, let's do this!" Beavis smiled.
oooo
"Now, I know your teacher is going to pick you up later tonight," Ed told the two. "But I figured I'd show you two around my place. You see, I'm also interested in concepts like time travel and the idea of the multiverse."
"Here's a schedule of your meetings today, Mr. Blackwell," a secretary walked by and handed Ed a sheet of paper.
"Thank you Sonia," Ed smiled. "Some of these won't be until later so I have plenty of time to show you boys around."
The three of them walked through the building. The whole research facility was impressive and advanced and even the duo were impressed to some degree.
"So could you tell me about those two bald guys who looked like you?" inquired Ed.
"Well, uh, those two guys say they're like the 'smart' versions of us or something," Butt-head replied. "But they're, like, stupid, huh huh huh!"
"They were living proof that the multiverse exists," Ed said curiously. "It's a real shame they disappeared on us. Maybe that boogeyman they described, Nebulus Algol, I believe they called him, really does exist."
"Yeah, I don't feel sorry for those two one bit," Beavis said bitterly, still depressed over Serena.
"We're almost at the main room," Ed told them. "It's where the real heavy machinery is at. We're still in the experimental stage for Blackwell Enterprises but it's where we keep our reactor core."
"Uh, what?" Butt-head didn't comprehend.
"Our reactor core for our research into time and space," Ed explained. "Just think something like Tony Stark's arc reactor, except this one is geared for possibly exploring the multiverse."
"Oh, you mean, like Iron Man?" asked Butt-head.
"Yes, exactly!" Ed smiled. "I don't personally have a suit of armor but the reactor I'm testing out is something that could change the world."
"So, like, is there really a dude inside Iron Man again?" asked Beavis.
"Beavis, you dumbass!" Butt-head mocked him. "We saw him show his face already during the movie!"
"Oh yeah," Beavis seemed to recall. "So, like, he's a real dude with, like, a real schlong and stuff?"
Butt-head sighed. "Beavis, what did I just say? Or do I have to slap some sense into you?"
Finally, Ed opened up the room where his team of engineers were working on a giant machine surrounded by four metal pillars.
"Uh… so, like, when is this thing gonna be ready?" asked Butt-head.
"We're not sure yet," Ed told them. "Weeks maybe. Possibly more than a month. We're getting there."
"Warning, intruder alert!"
Suddenly, the sirens went off. An unauthorized entry had set off the security system.
"Okay, everybody, stay calm!" Blackwell told his employees. "It's probably just a system malfunction."
On an upper floor in the room, the security grabbed their guns, looking around tensely for any sign of an intruder.
"So, like, what's going on?" Beavis asked.
On the top floor, a figure appeared, appearing out of nowhere.
"There he is," Ed pointed out. "Capture him!"
The security raised their guns but the intruder moved as fast as lightning, avoiding the shots. He had a sleek, reptilian body that he used to his advantage, striking fast and avoiding the gunfire.
"Okay, that really must be the supposed super-criminal those two alien versions of you described," Ed noted.
"Seems pretty cool to me," Butt-head commented. "Huh huh huh!"
The mysterious figure drew out a sword, cutting down all of Blackwell's security until the last man had fallen to the floor. He leaped off the railing and landed in front of Beavis, Butt-head, and Edward.
"That was cool!" Butt-head exclaimed.
"Yeah, he slaughtered those dudes!" Beavis agreed. "Heh heh heh!"
By now, they got a good look at him. He was a reptilian alien with a long shout and green skin. On his head were frills that made him look more intimidating. He had on a black suit and a purple cloak over his body.
"Hand over the core reactor," the lizardman demanded.
"You must be that Nebulus Algol described by Beavis and Butt-head's counterparts," Ed got in front of the duo. "Listen very carefully. You don't have to do this."
The roof opened up behind them finally as another security team entered the room. At once, Nebulus turned around and took out a laser rifle, blasting and killing every last one of the team in the blink of an eye.
"I won't repeat myself," Nebulus Algol demanded.
"Of course, of course," Ed agreed, walking over to the machine and pressing down on a button. "Please, just spare my team and these two guests."
"Hey Butt-head, it's Thanos!" Beavis exclaimed excitedly as the duo stood before Nebulus Algol.
"Beavis, you dumbass!" Butt-head had to remind him. "Thanos is purple, not green! Uh huh huh huh!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," Beavis recalled.
"Huh huh, dumbass…"
"So, like, where's this dude's Infinity Gauntlet again?" asked Beavis.
"Uh… we've been over this, Beavis," Butt-head shook his head. "He doesn't have it because he's not a big, purple butthole like Thanos!"
"Oh… oh yeah," Beavis finally realized.
Finally, Ed Blackwell walked over, handing the device to Nebulus Algol.
"I trust you'll show us puny earthlings mercy?" asked Ed.
Nebulus Algol snorted and turned around. As he did, his tail whipped Beavis across the face, knocking him down.
"Ow!" Beavis cried.
The reptilian creature turned on his cloaking again and crawled up the wall, leaving the building through an open window.
"Are you two okay?" asked Ed.
"Uh… that was cool!" Butt-head exclaimed. "Why can't more exciting stuff like this happen for us in Highland?"
oooo
"Wake up!"
Smart Beavis and Smart Butt-head both woke up. As they did, they realized they were being held in a cage on board an alien spacecraft. As they looked around them, they realized they were now the very captives of the criminal they were supposed to bring in.
"This was not anticipated," Smart Butt-head noted.
"No indeed it was not," Smart Beavis dusted himself off.
"I found what I needed," Nebulus Algol told the Smart duo. "Before I end your miserable lives, I want you to watch for a few more days as I continue to plunder the multiverse."
"This is not good," Smart Butt-head realized.
The reptilian humanoid opened up the front of his ship's engine, placing the reactor core inside.
"For good measure," Algol promised them. "I'll go back and slaughter every Supreme Leader you idiots answer to."
Finally, the lizard-man activated his ship's warp drive, preparing to jump into a portal to return to the Smart universe. After a few seconds passed, no such portal opened up.
"What is this?!" demanded Nebulus.
"Is your ship not functioning properly?" asked Smart Beavis.
"No… it is not," Algol snarled.
"I believe I have figured it out," Smart Butt-head realized. "Your original reactor for traveling the multiverse was damaged. Therefore, you needed a new one from this world. But it turned out this one either does not work or is only a fake."
"You know," Nebulus Algol walked towards the two, picking up an electro-staff from the wall. "Perhaps you two are a bit too smart for your own good."
With that, Nebulus Algol thrust the electro-staff into the cage, electrocuting both Smart Beavis and Butt-head.
"Aaaaaaahhhhh!" the Smart duo screamed.
Finally, Nebulus Algol stopped torturing the Smart pair.
"I'm going to need to have another word with that human CEO again," Algol walked off, leaving the two writing in pain.
oooo
"Are all of you okay?" asked Daria.
"Well, we're a little shook up," Ed admitted. "But we're otherwise physically fine."
"So you think we're gonna see Thanos again?" asked Beavis.
"Damn it Beavis," Butt-head scowled. "For that last time, that lizard looking butthole wasn't Thanos!"
"At least now we know extraterrestrials exist," Blackwell smiled.
"Alright, I'll drive the two back to Van Driessen," Daria told him. "I'll see you tomorrow, Ed."
The two of them kissed. After that, Daria walked off with Beavis and Butt-head. Ed chuckled as he heard some of their conversation on the way out.
"Hey Daria, could we, like, watch when you and Ed do it? Huh huh huh!"
"No."
oooo
Ed stood in his loft sipping some white wine. Suddenly, he felt a breeze and noticed the balcony door open.
"Thought I closed that," Edward Blackwell walked over to close it.
As he closed the door, he turned around again to looked straight into the face of the alien criminal both Smart Beavis and Butt-head had dreaded.
"Give me the reactor core," Nebulus Algol ordered.
"Hmm, sorry, can't do that," Ed told him. "It's not in this building. In fact, it's not even in that facility anymore."
"I won't repeat myself," the reptilian criminal pointed a laser rifle at Blackwell's head.
"That's won't do," Ed told him. "You know, I knew something was up when that alien pair got abducted by your ship so the next day, I gave orders for my reactor core to be removed and placed in a different facility. I also made myself a dead man's switch. If my heart stops beating, the reactor core you want self-destructs."
Nebulus Algol snarled angrily before lowering his rifle.
"Just as I expected, you really need it, don't you?" Ed grinned. "I knew how important that core was the minute something from the multiverse came to my world."
"Well played, Earthling," Nebulus hissed.
"If you want it, I'm going to need two things from you," Ed put forth an offer.
"State your wishes."
"First, I want to examine your ship and the technology inside," Blackwell requested.
He could see the reptilian creature bristling at that very request.
The reptilian alien sighed. "Very well. What is your second wish?"
"Over the years, I've made some contacts in the government," Blackwell told him. "Unfortunately, they weren't deep enough to get me more connected to the places I want access to. This is where you come in with your ship and advanced weaponry."
Blackwell took out a map of a desert region.
"I'll need you to conduct a raid on Area 51," Ed Blackwell told the alien invader from another universe. "There are a list of things I've written on this map that I'll need you to retrieve for me. I figured… why wait for years just to get more access when I can just take what I want?"
Algol growled again, not liking the idea of being an errand boy.
"These are the specs, alien technology, hard drives, and blueprints I believe exist at the base," Ed told him. "If you don't find all of it, that's fine. Just bring me as much valuables from that base as possible."
"Very well, I will go retrieve them," Nebulus Algol turned around.
"Wait up."
The alien lizard-man turned around.
"Aren't you going to give me a tour of your ship first?" asked Ed.
"Come with me," Algol responded with a frown.
To be continued.