a/n: guess who's back, back again... anyway I just wanted to update

[Happier Than Ever]

Naomi screamed into the pillow.

This was worse than two years ago, she's never zoned out like that before, and she wasn't about to do it again. She'd do what she planned from the beginning: avoid Zero. Granted, it would prove difficult now since they were under the same roof. She would see him every morning, every afternoon, and every night for a whole week.

Crap, crap, crap, crap!

Naomi didn't need a stupid crush, much less an unrequited one. She wasn't clueless, Zero loved Yuki. It was plain as day, she could see it with the lights out. Naomi shut her eyes tightly, but she couldn't stop the tears pricking and threatening to leave her.

Does Yuki love him? No, she loves Kuran, Naomi wondered, maybe she loves them both. Her heart clenched painfully in her chest. It hurt to think about, Fuck no, stop. Don't do this to yourself.

She rolled on her side and curled up her knees against her chest, Who even fucking authorized this?

A heavy broken, shaky breath left Naomi's body. In an effort to muffle the whimpers before they even formed, she covered her mouth with her hand. She could fall apart, she would allow herself that weakness but only alone, and only tonight. Tomorrow, she would bury it, she knew she could. It would be hard, but she would do it.

Naomi hiccuped softly, at least softly as she possibly could. You can't stop it. It's bigger than you right now, so she let the tears fall. Her free hand gripped the sheets tightly, For how long? She wondered, for how long have these feelings been creeping inside of me? Did anyone notice? Was it obvious? Was I the only one oblivious?Naomi uncovered her mouth and wiped away her stray tears. This was so pathetic, she started to laugh delicately.

A boy, Naomi thought incredulously, a fucking boy! It could even be worse! Maybe, it's two fucking boys!

When had she become so soft? She used to laugh at people like this. Oh, if Veronica and Yuuto could see her now, what would they do? Laugh? Naomi wouldn't blame them, she's laughing at herself. Comfort her? Probably, Who fucking knows.

Naomi rolled onto her back, Fuck this. None of this is important. None of it. She turned to face the clock in the guest bedroom. Her vision blurred from her tears but she could read the hands; 1:35 a.m.

Was it really that late? How long had she been crying for? Longer than she thought, obviously, but still...

Naomi rubbed her eyes roughly. She tried to control her breathing, she really did try, but all she accomplished was broken hiccups. She covered trembling lips with both her hands this time.

Yuuto had told her once about his first heartbreak or whatever it was, Naomi didn't remember the details, but she remember what he said: "it felt like someone ripped my heart out."

She had rolled her eyes, "dramatic much?"

"Just you wait," Yuuto had said.

He was wrong, he said it felt like someone had ripped his heart out. No, someone had set her heart on fire.

Naomi threw the covers over her head, tonight, only tonight.

Tomorrow, she would not be a slave to her emotions. Tomorrow, she would stomp on it like bugs.

Never again, and this time Naomi meant it.

a/n: sad brain go brrr :(