Although he swore he wasn't tired, Steve slept for twelve hours that night. Kayla woke up to find him nestled against her, with his head tucked under her chin and his lips to her collarbone. He'd draped one long leg over her thighs to pin her down while the other one hung over the edge of the bed. It didn't look to be a particularly comfortable position, but the gentle snores coming from his lips told Kayla he didn't mind.
She slowly raked her fingernails up and down the back of his neck, and he responded by squeezing her tighter against him. She chuckled as he snored into her chest, finding it adorable how he clung to her instead of protected her. He needed affection so badly. He was so young. He remembered hard times, but he didn't remember war. He didn't remember killing people. This Steve was so pure of heart and soul that Kayla almost didn't want him to remember. She didn't want him to remember all the horrors he'd faced and the trauma he'd endured. As much as she wanted her husband back, this man was good, and kind. He wanted to do what was right. He hadn't hurt Kayla, not yet.
And she hadn't hurt him. Over the years, Steve and Kayla dragged each other to hell and back. She'd turned him into something he wasn't, and he'd abandoned her trying to do what he thought was right. They hadn't meant to hurt each other, but they did. This Steve didn't know all that. All he knew was that she was here, and she was his.
His eyes had held so much fear and insecurity as he pleaded her not to choose Bucky. She remembered when they first got together, when he'd send her bouquets of roses and eloquent letters with doodles on the sides. He'd worshiped the ground she walked on because he knew she could have anybody. The man beside her now had her, in every way that mattered, but there was still fear that she'd walk away. He still thought he wasn't good enough.
He shifted a little as her fingers dipped lower beneath the collar of his shirt. Kayla wanted him to sleep longer, but she had to pee. The super baby was pushing on her bladder again, but her super husband had a death grip on her torso.
"Steve?" She murmured, and he groaned a little and buried his head harder against her chest, practically shoving his face into her breasts. At this point, Kayla wasn't sure if he was still asleep or if he was doing it on purpose and hoping she wouldn't be mad. "Steve. Honey, wake up."
He pulled away slowly, stretching his arms as he rolled onto his back. Kayla took the opportunity to thrust herself out of bed and scuttle over to the bathroom. As the door closed, Steve smiled to himself, situating his hands behind his head as he stared at the ceiling.
He'd forgotten that Kayla was hoping he'd remember her.
He turned his head quickly as the toilet flushed, wishing he could remember anything before yesterday. He wished he remembered seeing her the first time or giving her that sapphire ring. When she came out, she'd ask him, and he'd disappoint her. He didn't want to see her sad, he wanted to make her smile.
When she appeared, Steve sat up and grinned at her, but that seemed to tip her off that he still wasn't her Steve. "Nothing?"
His grin fell and he sighed, rubbing the healing spot on his head. "No. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. It might take a while. We'll be okay." Kayla assured him as she sat on her side of the bed. Steve wanted to invade her space, but as he shifted, he became aware of how hard he was. His cheeks turned pink and he pulled the sheet higher over himself, but her eyes immediately dropped to his crotch anyway. "Well, good morning."
"I- uh-"
She leaned over and kissed his lips, lingering for a long moment before pulling away. "Don't be embarrassed. This," she pointed at her baby bump, "You did this. With that. It isn't a secret." She laughed and kissed him again, and he weaved his fingers through her hair to hold her close. He kissed her slowly, memorizing the way she felt and tasted, as if remembering their life together might erase this memory they were making right now. Maybe it would. Steve wasn't going to risk forgetting her again.
When he pulled away, she wore a lazy smile that he hadn't seen before. It looked comfortable and blissful, and it made him harder somehow. "Stop teasing me," Steve growled into her ear as he leaned forward to kiss her cheek. She giggled and ran her hand from his shoulder down his chest and eventually ghosted it across his cock. He swallowed, wanting her to touch him so badly, but knew that would fall under 'playing with her emotions', something Bucky had warned him explicitly about. They couldn't have sex until he either remembered or gave up on the prospect of remembering. He was doing it for her. He sure as hell wasn't doing it for himself.
"I think I should take a shower." Steve finally told her and she pulled her hand away. She looked disappointed, but not surprised as she nodded a little. He kissed her deeply before pushing off the bed, leaving her to rest until he returned.
He lightly closed the door, but didn't lock it. He suddenly considered that he wouldn't know how to use the shower and need Kayla to help, but the idea of making her get up again made Steve guilty. He needed to be doting, not annoying.
After studying the shower controls for a moment, Steve twisted the knob and got the water flowing into the walk in shower. Looking down, Steve realized he needed a cold shower to calm himself before making himself presentable enough to face Doctor Palmer, Bucky, and whoever needed to see him today. He turned the water as cold as it could go and let it slide over his hair and down his face. The cold did the trick and he took a sharp deep breath, grabbing the wall to steady himself.
Suddenly, Steve felt like he was drowning. The cold water pummeled his lungs and everything went dark. He gasped for air, feeling like the world was closing in on him, but in the distance, a soft voice murmured to him.
"Just be there."
"Peggy?" He said as he lifted his head upward, the water pelting his face as he looked at the wall. He remembered the plane. He remembered crashing into the ice. He looked down again as his back stiffened. He remembered being pierced with needles before his whole body felt like it was on fire. He remembered running into battle. Explosions and gunfire. He remembered watching Bucky fall. Bucky was dead.
He turned around and leaned against the tile wall, slowly sliding down to the bottom to sit because his legs were quaking so badly. He remembered his life before the ice. He remembered becoming Captain America and his Howling Commandos and he remembered Peggy Carter. Peggy was the love of his life. How could he replace her so easily?
His breath caught in his throat as the water sprayed past him and down the drain. He should be dead. He'd sacrificed himself to stop Hydra, yet here he was. The worst part was there were still memories missing. They told him they found him in the ice in 2011. It was 2017. It had been six years since they'd found him and those six years were nowhere to be found in his brain. Which meant he was still forgetting... or they were lying.
"Steve?" Kayla's voice called from the other side of the door. He stiffened. The idea that this woman wasn't really his wife hadn't crossed his mind once before now, but it seemed convenient that he woke up and she was about to have a child. Yesterday Steve didn't understand the world's capacity for darkness, but he remembered the horrors now. He wanted to believe Kayla and Doctor Palmer and even Bucky, but it didn't add up. He saw Bucky fall in 1945, how could he be here now? He was a super soldier. Manipulating him would be the safest way to handle him. He was a weapon, as Kayla had said. She'd said they'd given her the serum for the baby. Were they trying to create more super soldiers?
Perhaps Steve was given amnesia on purpose to forget some other unsavory things that these people had done in the past six years, if he'd even been awake that long.
"Steve, are you alright?" Kayla asked again, peeking open the door. When Steve met her eyes, he searched them for any sign of deception, but all he found was worry. It wasn't enough to ease all his fears, but it pacified him enough for now. "Steve, what's wrong?"
"I remember..." He started and her face lit up as she entered the bathroom, but he shook his head sharply, "I don't remember you." Her smile dropped and she cocked her head, clearly not understanding. He stood up and turned the water off, grabbing a towel to wrap around his waist as he slowly moved towards her. "I remember crashing into the ice. I remember Bucky falling from the train. And I remember the love of my life. But I don't remember you."
The air felt like it had been socked from Kayla's lungs at his words. She stumbled back a step and stared up at Steve in fear. He had walked into the bathroom one way, but was stalking towards her a different man. He was fresh from war. In his mind, he was still in it. She saw distrust where there had been insecurity before. He'd called Peggy the love of his life.
"Steve... what do you want to know?" Kayla settled on, seeing Captain America before her. This man was more familiar than the one who'd woken up yesterday, but he had a darkness to him that she didn't remember. "Do you remember waking up from the ice."
"No. I don't." He said gruffly, and she realized he was afraid. "I remember dying. Why am I here?"
"We found you- SHIELD found you in the ice, six years ago. We met ten months later." She reached out for him but he kept his hand away from hers. Kayla felt the tears welling up in her eyes. This was somehow way worse than before. "Don't shut me out. You promised."
He seemed conflicted by her words, and Kayla wondered what was running through his mind. His memories were coming back, but it was inconvenient that he only remembered up until the point he crashed. No wonder he was so frustrated. "Are you really my wife?"
"Of course I'm really your wife, I showed you our wedding photos." Kayla spat, not about to be accused of lying. She saw his eyes narrow and knew where his mind was heading. She knew Captain America. "Let me guess, you think I've been sent here to pacify you? To lure you into a false sense of calm?" When he crossed his arms, Kayla groaned, "Ask me questions, Steve. Ask me things that nobody else would know. I guarantee I know the answers."
"What happened to Peggy?"
"She died last year." Kayla said bluntly, causing Steve's stomach to drop. "She lived a long, happy life and passed away in her sleep. You were a pallbearer at her funeral. I was there with you."
"What happened to Bucky?"
"Hydra captured him and experimented on his body and mind. He was a soldier for the Soviets before he was brought to the states. He escaped Hydra and has finally gotten his memories back."
Steve pursed his lips and Kayla chuckled, "Your mom's name was Sarah. You used to wear newspaper in your shoes. When Bucky fell from the train, you drank for four hours straight and felt nothing. Peggy stayed on the line with you until the plane crashed into the ice so you wouldn't be alone in the end. I was incredibly jealous of her for a long time, but I can't compete with a different lifetime. How else would I know that if you didn't tell me? I know you better than anybody." She studied his reaction, realizing he was internalizing his feelings. This was the man who sobbed in her lap after their first date, the man who kept everything in until he couldn't stand it anymore. And she knew he wasn't about to open up soon.
Kayla groaned a little and looked over her shoulder, "I'm gonna go get Bucky. I don't think you're in a good headspace to deal with me right now."
The possessive part of Steve reached out and grabbed Kayla, despite the soldier part of him worried she wasn't telling the truth. He knew he couldn't just trust what these people told him, but this woman was affected by his words, and if she really was his wife, he didn't want to break her heart. "I'm sorry."
"You always are."
Kayla stormed out of the bathroom and bedroom into the main area of the apartment as Steve scrambled after her, but she flung open the front door and slammed it hard, causing a painting to fall off the wall. Steve watched her leave, sighing and massaging his temples as his head dropped. "I'm sorry."
Bucky was sipping a cup of coffee across from Steve's friend Sam while Tony Stark glared at him from across the room. T'Challa and the Dora Milaje left Bucky with the Avengers to do some business in Manhattan, so Bucky was more or less trapped under the watchful eye of the man who he made an orphan.
His eyes drifted up towards the hallway at the sound of running, and he straightened up when Kayla swept into the room with tears streaming down her cheeks. "What's wrong?" Bucky asked as he stood, quickly reaching Kayla as Sam's wife wrapped her in a hug. Bucky narrowed his bright eyes and snarled, "What did he do?"
"He remembered," Kayla gasped, but she shook her head sadly. "He remembered his life before the ice. He remembered Peggy, but not me. He still loves her. He doesn't trust me, he thinks we're lying to him-"
"Kay, that's bullshit, he's just confused."
"I'll rattle some sense into his thick skull," Bucky growled and stormed away. Kayla started after him, but Tiffany caught her arm and shook her head.
"Let him go."
"He'll tear Steve apart."
"Maybe he'll bash his memories back in?" Sam suggested casually, but Kayla rolled her eyes and started sprinting after Bucky until a sharp pain radiated in her stomach.
She stopped and doubled over as she grabbed the wall and yelled, "Tiff!" Her best friend ran towards her, holding her as she panted, "Tiff, I think they're coming."
"I'll call Mom. Sam!"
He sidled up next to Kayla and helped her walk towards the medical bay as Tiffany called Sandra to make her way to the compound.
"I don't wanna do this right now."
Tiffany sighed as she led the way into the medical bay, waving over a nurse to call Kayla's doctor. "I know, Kay. But baby isn't going to wait for Steve. You can do this. They need you."
"What the hell did I tell you, Punk?" Bucky snarled as he approached Steve outside by the lake. Steve glared over his shoulder at Bucky, but didn't respond until he'd given him a good once over. The Winter Soldier bared his teeth at Steve's caution. "Don't look at me like that-"
"I saw you fall," Steve told him darkly. "You should be dead, I should be dead."
"But we're not and that's not Kayla's fault," Bucky said evenly. They stared at each other for a long moment before Bucky asked, "Do you remember our conversation from yesterday?"
"I do..." Steve trailed off, narrowing his eyes.
"I get that things are a little fuzzy, but you can't hurt her. I won't let you hurt her again."
"What're you gonna do about it?" Steve asked darkly, remembering l Bucky's threat from the day before clearly. Bucky couldn't just take Steve's life because he didn't remember it. Steve was conflicted, because he loved somebody else... but he understood that Peggy wasn't here. He'd chosen to crash the Valkerie and sacrifice the life he could have had with Peggy. Although it hurt deep in his soul, Steve understood that he'd moved on. "I don't understand what's happening, Buck, but I'm not about to let you threaten me out of my marriage."
Bucky's gaze darkened and Steve shifted his weight back, fists clenching. Bucky chuckled humorlessly as he rolled back his shoulders. "Are we really gonna do this?"
"Depends? Are you trying to chase me off so you can move in on my wife?"
"You don't remember her," Bucky growled. "You've left her behind one too many times. She deserves better."
Steve barreled into Bucky like a freight train, taking him down and sending them both tumbling into the grass. Steve raised his fist to deck Bucky's face, but his knuckles connected with his metal hand. Bucky threw Steve's hand back and flipped them over, moving to punch him until Steve shifted to the side at the last second.
He blinked, realizing he'd fought Bucky before. His brows furrowed as Bucky pulled his fist back to get another hit in, but Steve's mind raced as he remembered fighting the Winter Soldier. The mask fell off. It was Bucky. They faught in the air. The floor was glass. Bucky shot Steve. He'd been trying to get to the control panel. He'd been trying to get to Kayla.
Kayla.
The President's daughter. Kayla Ellis. Her name was Kayla Ellis. They spoke every day. He saved her life. He lost her. He married her. He lost her again.
Bucky finally got a hit in, nailing Steve's cheekbone with his human hand as his metal one pinned him into the grass. Steve didn't even care. All he thought about was Kayla.
He loved her.
Bucky held his arm back like a cobra ready to strike, panting as Steve stared blankly at the sky. He seemed to realize Steve wasn't fighting back and stumbled back to his feet. Steve leaned over and massaged his cheekbone, staring up at Bucky as his wife's name rang in his mind like a prayer. "Where's Kay?"
"Do you remember her?"
"Yes," Steve croaked, scrambling to his feet and turning towards the compound. "God, what I have done?"
A sad smile cracked across Bucky's features. "Welcome back, Steve." Steve pulled Bucky in for a hug, breathless as he got his bearings. "I'm sorry I punched you."
"I'm sorry- I'm sorry about a lot of things." Steve swallowed as he gazed across the lake. "How upset is she?"
"She's devestated Steve. You told her you love Peggy. You told her you think she's lying to you."
One moment Steve was with Bucky and the next he was sprinting towards the compound as fast as his feet could take him. He'd gone through hell and back trying to do what was right, taking every wrong turn along the way. He'd risked his life for his freedom to be with his wife and child. He'd taken a bullet to the skull to be there for Kayla and he'd forgotten her. But he'd loved her. The man he was before he became Captain America fell for Kayla all over again in less than a day. The man who watched his friends die didn't trust that he could have something good again after all he'd seen and done, but he remembered her now.
He remembered how hard he'd faught for his happily ever after, and he'd earned his freedom. If he could get back to Kayla, they'd finally be free. Free from the fights and the wars and the aliens and monsters. Free from the camera flashes and screaming reporters. Free from the pain of their mistakes. They could be whoever they wanted to be if she'd just forgive him one last time.
Bursting for the doors, Steve looked around frantically, calling out for her. "Kay! Kay, where are you?"
Sam appeared from the hallways leading to the medical wing, taking in Steve nervously as he stumbled towards his partner. "Sam, where's Kay?"
His eyes widened in understanding as Bucky appeared behind him. "You're back?"
"Where is she? I gotta make this right."
"She's in labor, Steve. The baby is coming."
Elation spread through Steve, warming him like a fireplace after being stuck out in the snow. "They're coming now? I haven't missed it?"
Sam gave a halfhearted smile and shifted to let Steve pass. The soldier's feet moved faster than his mind until he reached the medical wing, where there was a bustle of activity.
"Cap?"
He turned to see Stark, Nat, and Wanda watching him wearily. Wanda took a step closer to the door they were standing near, and Steve realized that's where Kayla was. "I remember. I remember all of it. I need to see my wife."
Wanda's eyes glowed red, searching for some sign he was lying. She let out a quiet sob when she saw he spoke the truth. "You were almost too late."
A piercing scream sounded from the room and Steve's knees buckled when he recognized it as Kayla. He turned to the door and Wanda stepped aside, allowing him the chance to enter.
When he stood in the doorway, he saw Kayla sobbing with her mother on one side and Tiffany on the other. She saw him and let out a pained cry, scrunching her brows as she struggled, but not acknowledging his presence.
"Steve, this isn't a good time," Tiffany warned, but he floated towards his wife like a moth to the flame.
He knelt beside her and she eyed him wearily, distrust staining her emerald eyes. Steve just released the breath he didn't know he'd been holding and choked out, "Kay."
The way he said it went straight to Kayla's soul, and she knew her husband was back. She began to cry harder, but she smiled a little and gasped out, "You remember me."
It wasn't a question, it was a statement, but Steve nodded feverishly anyway. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry about everything but I'm done. I'm done and I'm home. I'm here. I swear I'm never going anywhere ever again."
"I was scared I'd lost you forever. You were so angry, I didn't know if you could ever love me the same-"
"You would have won me over again, I'm sure of it." Steve's beaming grin overtook his whole face and Kayla laughed until she felt another contradiction rip through her. She clenched Steve's arm, grasping for any part of him she could hold. He offered her his hand to squeeze, and he registered that this was the first time he'd felt her with the serum.
He'd seen her on the raft. He'd seen how she'd gotten taller and how her arms and legs looked faintly muscular, not unlike how they looked when she used to see her trainer.
But he hasn't been able to hold her. He hadn't been able to feel that strength. At the time, locked behind the glass, Steve just wanted his wife in any form he could have her. But now he understood that she was different than she'd been before.
It was a notion he'd considered yesterday when he couldn't remember his own history: she was somebody like him. They were the same.
"Sweetheart, you gotta push. It's time to get them out," Sandra told her daughter softly. She carefully pried her hand out of Kayla's and shook it out. Steve saw it was red from where Kay had been clenching it.
He squeezed Kayla's hand a little harder than he'd ever dared before and she looked at him questioningly, as if she could feel the difference. Steve watched the understanding flicker in her eyes and she swallowed hard, then held his hand a little tighter.
"It's time Kay."
The doctor told her to push and Kayla tried, but the pain was unbearable. She hadn't wanted any drugs. With the serum in her veins she should be able to do this on her own, but she still felt pain. She looked to Steve with watery green eyes and admitted, "I'm scared."
He leaned down to press his head against hers, nuzzling her gently to avoid hitting the spot he'd been shot. He whispered so quietly nobody else could make out the words, but he believed she could now: "You are the bravest, most brilliant person I know Kay. You can do this." He kissed her temple as she gave a half hearted push and he added, "You're finally as strong on the outside as you are on the inside."
"Kayla, you need to push. It's time." The doctor's words hung in the air as Kayla turned her head to her mother, seeing Sandra nodding her encouragement. At some point Tiffany had slipped out, but Sandra stood firm by Kayla's side.
"One big push and they'll be here."
Steve clenched her hand tighter again, and she could feel him shaking. She turned to him, studying the scared expression on his face as he stared at her bent knees, knowing what was about to happen. Knowing who was about to come into their lives and change everything forever.
When he turned to Kayla though, he looked breathless, and a little impatient. He was ready.
Both of Steve's hands clenched Kayla's right and he leaned against her again, taking a deep breath with her as she prepared to push.
"You're a super soldier now, you got this," Steve growled in her ear, feeling himself smile at the notion.
The long, lonely days on the raft found Steve imagining his future. Teaching his child how to walk and Kayla scooping them up to comfort them when they fell. Nights on the couch watching movies as a family and having to be terribly quiet in the bedroom so they wouldn't wake their son or daughter.
Steve had balked at the notion of Kayla taking her own serum, but seeing that future before them, Steve realized it wasn't just necessary to safely deliver their child, it was necessary to care for them. She'd need it to keep up with their kids- a whole brood of them if Steve had his way.
He was so deep in his daydreaming he almost missed the way Kayla's grip tightened to the point of pain, but her guttural scream was enough to shatter Steve's daydream.
She slumped, panting, and Steve realized what she'd done before he even registered the tiny scream coming from the end of the bed.
Kayla perked up, though, and lifted her head to see the doctor carefully maneuvering a large baby in her arms. The doctor looked up at Kayla with a smile and carried them over, laying them down on her chest.
"Congratulations, it's a boy."
Steve choked out a sob as he stared at his son, watching the way the crying baby nuzzled against Kayla's heart. Kayla tugged her right hand from Steve so she could hold their son with both, leaning down and pressing a kiss to his head as tears slid down her cheeks.
Tentatively, Steve reached over and slid his thumb across his son's cheek. He felt hot and sticky but he was perfect.
"We have a son," Kayla murmured softly, then let out a little laugh and looked up at her mom. Sandra smoothed back Kayla's hair as she beamed up at her mom. The former First Lady nodded, tears in her own eyes as she answered, "He's beautiful, Honey. You did so good."
The doctor appeared beside Sandra, but Kayla didn't acknowledge her, too entranced by her little boy to care. Steve, though, raised his head to hear what the woman needed to say.
"I'll need to get him cleaned up, make sure he looks healthy. He's okay right where he's at, I'm just gonna check him out okay?"
Kayla threw the doctor one of her 'Katiana Stares' but Steve quickly distracted her with a kiss to the side of her head. "He's so happy to be with his Mom."
Turning back to her son as the doctor carefully cleaned him up, Kayla saw he'd stopped crying and was just staring up at her with his green eyes. He had her eyes.
The doctor carefully pulled a little hat over his head and Kayla laughed when he squirmed. "We don't want you to get cold, Baby. Daddy hates the cold and you probably will too," she teased as she eyed Steve.
"I don't think that's how genetics work."
Kayla shrugged as the doctor finished up and pulled the blanket up over them both so only his head was peeking out. Steve laid his large hand over his son's back over the blanket, but the boy never took his green eyes off of Kayla.
"Somebody's gonna be a Mamma's boy," Sandra teased as she rubbed the baby's cheek lightly with her finger. "I'll give you three some time alone. Do you want me to let them know he's a boy, or do you want to later?"
Steve realized she'd been talking to him and he looked up at Sandra, seeing her smiling gently at him. He looked back to his son snuggled against Kayla's chest, and the idea of leaving them to address their friends was impossible. "You can tell them. I'll come out after a while to see everyone."
Sandra nodded slowly. "I'm sure they'll be pleased to know you're okay."
Kayla raised her head to smile softly at Steve, as if just remembering what they'd endured. Steve had put the trauma of the past few days behind him already. He'd been a different man then.
Before he was Captain America. Now he was a dad.
Sandra kissed Kayla's head before leaving, and Steve noted that the doctor had gone as well. It was just the three of them, and Steve wasn't sure he'd ever known such peace.
"I love you, Darling," Kayla murmured as she took a deep breath, causing their green-eyed boy to rise and fall on her chest.
"I love you so much," Steve answered, gently running his pointer finger along his boy's tiny hand.
Kayla snorted at Steve, "I was talking to the baby, but I love you, too."
Steve smirked at his wife, then leaned over to give her a deep kiss as the sound of cheering and champagne popping echoed outside the door.
For an hour and a half, Steve and Kayla hid from the world with their newborn son. Doctor Palmer was alerted to Steve's onslaught of more memories, and despite her request to see him, he refused to leave Kayla's side. His own well-being be damned, he wasn't letting his son out of his sight until he knew he was safe and healthy.
Finally, at around 1:00, Steve emerged from the hopsital room.
Tiffany looked up from where she sat with Sam with a hopeful smile and Steve let out a sigh of relief. "I have a son."
"We heard. We've been celebrating," Tony teased Steve as he held out a glass of champagne. Steve shook his head and thanked Tony as he pulled Nat in for a quick side hug. Tony tilted his head, studying the soldier wearily. "I'm happy for you, Cap." He rubbed the back of his neck and grumbled, "Your pardon from the President is on your desk. You're a free man now... I'm sorry about everything that happened. If I'd have known what it would cause... I never would have done anything to jeapordize Kayla's wellbeing, even if I was furious at you."
Steve pulled Tony in for a tight hug, which the billionare returned. "I'm sorry too, Tony. I shouldn't have lied to you. I was scared that you'd kill my best friend." He stiffened, looking around to see someone missing. "Where is he?"
"He's in the living area," Sam interjected.
"Would you mind getting him? Kayla and I want to talk to him."
Kayla looked up from the hospital bed when Bucky slipped through the door. The Winter Soldier studied the woman, taking in her sweaty face and tired smile, but when his gaze fell on the baby nuzzled against her chest, he paled.
Steve noticed the alarm on his friend's face and stepped up beside Kayla to rest his hand on her shoulder. Bucky looked between them sadly and forced a brave smile. "Congratulations. I'm really happy for your guys."
"We wouldn't be here if it weren't for you," Kayla told Bucky quietly, shifting the baby a little higher on her chest. She looked up at Steve and a silent conversation passed between them until Steve carefully lifted his son from his wife so she could address Bucky. "If it weren't for you, I would have died on that helicarier. If you hadn't sent Steve my location, he may have never found me in Novi Grad. And you brougth him back to me today. You're the reason Steve is here to meet his son."
Bucky shook his head to dismiss her words, but Kayla stared him down. "I know this is hard for you. I know... we know that this is compicated. The three of us."
"It's not," Bucky grunted. "It's you and Steve. That was always clear. I just... I complicate things. If I had been in my right mind, I never would have-"
"It doesn't matter anymore. You're here now, and we want you to stay." Steve's words were firm and confident, and when Bucky turned to Kayla quesitoningly, she nodded excitedly.
"T'Challa says your programing has been removed. Your mind is clear. There's no reason for your to go back to Wakanda." She looked up at Steve as he swayed, holding his newborn son easily against his collarbone. "We'd like you to stay and be here for him. Steve and I have been talking and we'd like you to be his godfather."
Bucky's eyes widened and he opened his mouth in shock. "Me? Why me?"
Kayla looked up at Steve and the soldier took over, explaining, "You're the closest thing to family I have, Buck. I owe you all of this, whether you believe it or not, we both know we couldn't have made it this far without you. And to be honest, as hard as it is to hear, I believe you when you say you'll be there for Kayla if I'm not."
"I shouldn't have said that-"
"If anything happens to me-" Kayla cleared her throat and shot Steve a look that told him he'd mispoken, so he amended, "If anything happens to us, we know you'll take care of our son."
"We want Uncle Bucky to be a part of his life," Kayla added softly as she reached up to stroke her finger against her son's cheek. "Do you wanna hold him?"
Bucky watched the baby wearily, knowing he had no business being in the same room as the newborn, let alone being trusted to hold him in his arms. "I don't think I should."
"Take a seat." Kayla motioned to the chair on her right, an order, not a suggestion. Bucky followed directions, slowly lowering himself into the chair beside Kayla. She leaned over, ignoring the sheet the dropped a little too far and revealed a little too much, causing Bucky to avert his eyes as she carefully placed a fluffy little blanket over his metal arm.
"Kay."
"What?" Kayla asked her husband and he stared at her bare chest before meeting her eyes. She glanced down, then rolled her eyes. "Whatever, bring him over please."
Bucky watched as Steve approached with the baby, ignoring Kayla as she adjusted the blanket to make a little nest. The boy was swaddled tightly in deep blue, small blonde hairs sticking to his head as he gazed up at Steve with Kayla's green eyes. Bucky smiled a little as the baby squirmed in Steve's arm, wanting to break free from his binds.
Kneeling before Bucky, Steve carefully shifted the baby into the blanket, tucking him into the crook of Bucky's metal arm. He swallowed hard, but Kayla reached across him to grab his right hand and carefully place it against her son to keep him in place. Bucky was surprised when the baby stopped squirming and stared at him with big, curious eyes. He didn't cry. He didn't scream. He just watched Bucky, as if this small human was trying to figure out who this dark-haired man was, and why he'd been allowed into his haven with him and his parents.
Steve pulled the blanket over Kayla and she sighed, leaning her cheek against her pillow as she watched Bucky with her son. Steve leaned down to kiss her head, whispering softly, "You should properly introduce Bucky to his godson."
He looked up to see Kayla's eyes watering and Steve gave her shoulder a supportive squeeze. "This is James Matthew," Kayla choked out, causing Bucky to swallow. "We named him after his grandfather- and his uncle."
Bucky swallowed hard and thanked her quietly, feeling tears prick at his eyes. He wiped them away quickly before gazing down at the little boy in his arms, named after him, the Winter Soldier. "I don't know what to say."
"Say you'll be his godfather, and that you'll stay here at Avenger's Compound with us," Kayla answered quickly. Bucky smiled a little and nodded, silently agreeing to both. He didn't think he'd ever be comfortable here with Steve, Kayla, Howard's son, and the Avengers, but how was he supposed to say no to her? How was he supposed to say no to this?
This small, perfect little person in his arms was enough to make Bucky stay. Steve's son didn't know the horrible things Bucky had done. All he'd know was that Uncle Bucky was his namesake, and that he loved him so, so much.
"James Rogers," Bucky murmured to the boy, smiling a little brighter than he had in a really long time. "I can't wait to see what kind of trouble you get into."
"Hopefully none," Steve stammered, but Kayla laughed weakly and sighed, "If he's anything like his father we're the ones in trouble."
Bucky stroked James with his thumb, feeling the boy squirm a bit and start to cry. He looked up at Steve worriedy and Steve quickly scooped up his son, shushing him in an attempt to soothe him. It didn't work. "Kay?"
She groaned and shifted a bit, reaching out for James. "He's probably hungry again. Little super soldiers gotta eat."
Daring to lean down and kiss Kayla's hair, Bucky murmured, "Thank you for letting me meet him." Steve pulled him in for a tight hug, patting his friends back as Bucky congratulated him again before slipping out the door as silently as he appeared, leaving the family alone again.
Steve watched as James latched onto Kayla and she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. "What can I do for you, Kay?"
"Once he's done eating we should have everyone come and meet him. Then I want to go back to our apartment here." She paused, taking a deep breath before adding, "We can go home tomorrow. I'd like to be here with everyone around a little longer."
"Whatever you need. Whatever you want." Suddenly Steve Rogers existed solely for the two people in front of him. Nothing and nobody else mattered but them. He'd put them on the backburner for too long and he wasn't going to let anything else come between them again.
Except maybe Christine Palmer, who peeked in with a soft, apologetic smile.
"Let her check you out, please." Although Kayla had said please, Steve didn't think it was much of a request. She grunted and her fingernails ghosted across the swaddle as she chastised James, "Gentle, Baby, gentle."
Steve chuckled and stroked back James's tiny blonde hairs. "You think he's getting extra super soldier serum this way?"
"God, I hope not, being half super soldier is super soldier enough for a newborn." Kayla looked back at Doctor Palmer, seeing her waiting patiently in the doorway for Steve to accompany her. A thought struck Kayla that couldn't wait though. "James will be our only child who is only half super soldier. Any future ones will have serum from you and me."
"You're ready for more? I can make that happen," Steve teased as he started to walk away. "You sure you're alright?"
"I wouldn't be opposed to you sending in Tiffany and the girls to keep me company. Then once he's finished eating we can take a nap."
Steve nodded, imagining them in bed together, little James curled safely between them. Kayla needed sleep, but Steve would happily lay awake watching James through the night if he had to. It was the least he could do after all the stress he'd caused his wife.
And after everything he'd gone through over the past couple of years, Steve thought maybe he deserved a little rest, too.