No matter how many allies surround you, in their kind of world, when you die, you die alone.
That's the harshest truth of their cursed gifted lives that determine life and death for everyone, regular or not. Even when there will always be those that don't deserve to be saved.
In that season of endless blue, the moments before and during the reprieves of the Star Plasma Vessel protection mission were the brightest spots of calm before the unexpected storm that severed the once strongest duo.
There was nothing to block the front of his eyes anymore.
Leave naïve antics behind.
Tolerate the cruelest hits.
Never falter.
Practical kids groomed to be soldiers in the endless war of sacrifice.
This would be their lives should they choose to graduate and shoulder the burden, however long that may be before they too fall.
That didn't stop the night terrors for Gojo, though.
Followed by restlessness turned frustration taken out on every cursed spirit in every single mission thrown his way.
At least the shades could hide the puffy pink weariness his eyes had become for a while now.
Shoko sighed, inhaling from her cigarette. "You look like shit."
Gojo pulled his soda can away from his lips after taking a sip. "Is that so? Even with the shades on?"
"I know so. You and Suguru. Less kiddy annoying and more moodier annoying." Shoko passively added, dragging out the exhale of smoke between her lips. "It's sad, really."
Swirling the can mindlessly, he imagined Geto caught in this whirlpool of darkness just as the soft drink was now.
Just like he felt that same cold grasp still dragging him down.
"... He says he's fine."
"Liar." The stoic, aloof figure of one Nanami appeared at the other end of the path under their roof covered spot, calm and indifferent as per usual, passing them just to reach the vending machines. "Avoiding talking out your core issues with one another isn't protection. Neither is destigmatizing from discussion to both parties involved."
The mental strain.
The trauma.
The inner demons.
"Way to interject out of the blue," Shoko grinned. "Where's Haibara?"
"Probably looking for Suguru right now. He's acting considerate for our sakes ... that's more emotional support than the higher ups can afford to give us themselves."
Asphalt reflected the sound of cicadas in the background as Gojo's silence became inaudible.
The good old days fade away as he misses Suguru's scent he had come to know, different from his own, in the depths of eternity left behind.
Even now, blue resides.
Even now, blue remains clear.
No matter the prayers or words, whenever they drew near; in small talks of reprieves or during training, their grasps just never reach.
Like a quiet love in the summer-like colors running down their cheeks.
The words that cursed them from uttering their truth are stuck in the back of their throats.
"Will we meet again?" Gojo dramatically sighed, chucking his drink down to accentuate his dreary mood. The kind of voice the other two chose not to hear. "Missions here, training there! When was the last time we all just hung out together?"
"I really don't care." Nanami groaned as he pulled his deposited drink out, ignoring Gojo's pout.
"Liar!" Gojo jabbed.
"He's gotten thinner ... darker eye bags ... yours are just as bad." Even his own concern could be felt through his monotone.
In the muggy season of mid-afternoon, the portrait of who they were then to now was quite starkly evident.
Their once strong dynamic being the prime example.
"We were supposed to share everything ... but since that day, little by little ... the curse of me being different from you all grows ... from Suguru." Gojo muttered.
"It's the world hierarchy. The sorcerer system fails to provide us the cathartic treatment we need and expect us to be invincible tools, not fragile ones. While a majority of regulars are as cruel as the cursed spirits they bred out. The rot is embedded on both sides and needs to be torn out from the roots. But we can only do so much on our own. Not even you alone can tear down those walls, nor can we depend entirely on you."
Oh Namami; always straight to the point.
"Overthrowing the status quo can wait. Right now, Suguru is on my mind." Gojo brushed the former away literally.
"Unless that injustice is what's on his mind." Nanami mentioned.
Shoko plopped her head to the side, resting her noggin on Gojo's shoulder. "Now that would give our resident moral compass reason to put himself through the wringer."
Now as an uninhibited Six Eyes bearer, Gojo's immense perception and unrivaled visual prowess far exceeds that of any other sorcerer.
He could see and feel so much all at once.
At least, that's what he believed at first.
And yet the sorrow behind Geto's once fair smile flared up in Gojo's mind. It's been the case ever since Amanai —
Regret began swelling up inside Gojo for what he had overlooked the entire time. Memories of those simple days when their friendship bloomed, only to scatter like transient flowers the moment he saw the fear in Geto's eyes.
Seeing nothing in his own.
Their past selves have said goodbye.
Like grains of stars in an infinitely expanding galaxy, spilling through the gaps between his fingers, as flashes of his best friend; cladded entirely in black, walking away with Gojo's hand reaching out came to mind.
He believed dealing with the aftermath in their own way, giving space and all that, would make it all work itself out somehow and the looming gloom between them would lift and all would be peachy again.
However, it was all negligence over what was really there the entire time.
The ripples Toji Zen'in set in motion were tearing them apart.
He may be the strongest one now, but in the end, he's too stubborn to face Suguru head on.
The pent-up worry for his best friend combined with venting his own inner turmoil through work these past few weeks were all just delaying the inevitable.
"Shit," Gojo hissed under his breath, dunking the rest of the fizzy goodness down, making the shot throwing his soda can into the trash bin, before rushing off, following the cursed energy trail leading him straight to Haibara and Suguru all the way out there.
"Say hi to your boyfriend for me~!" Shoko encouraged.
"They're a thing?" Nanami dully needed confirmation.
Shoko cheekily smiled. "I know what I said."
A/N: This whole thing is just my take/interpretation/opinion/analysis/perception/feelings on their dynamic/fallout/past story arc.
Thank you to those few that have shown interest in my mess of a short story.
Until next time, later~!