25
"So?" Jack was still trying to work it out.
"So, they wanted to sell my project to the highest bidder, currently some bod who is in a space race dementing on about colonizing Mars or some shit" Ianto was explaining to the table, knowing the cameras were drinking it up… why not go full dragon eh? They deserve some hell fire.
"But… it's yours!" Toshiko said, annoyed on his behalf.
"I know blossom. But they seemed to think that because they run the company as the board or something that they owned all the ideas. Truth is, I patented it as soon as I realized it might work, I also copyrighted it, knowing sooner or later someone would make their own version in competition. Now, they can't do the same, or even attempt the same. In doing so, it became my personal intellectual property" Ianto grinned.
"Then your Grandy came to call" Jack nodded, the pre-rehearsed conversation playing out as Ianto told him it would.
"Yes, you see I already have twenty five percent shares in the company. Unbeknownst to me, Grandy Dearest had also been holding twenty percent. When he saw what I was doing, I causally scooped up some of the smaller shares and increased his shareholding to thirty two percent" Ianto sat back and let Jack have the reveal.
"Which he gifted to you for your thirtyish birthday coming up!" Jack blurted like it was a revelation to him too.
"So… not only do I own the concept, the blueprints and such… I own fifty seven percent of the entire company that thinks it can tell me what to do!" Ianto finished.
As expected, the entire place fell about laughing as it became clear that as major shareholder… they worked for him.
"Your Grandy… he is a one." Andy laughed "Does he still drive that gorgeous Rolls Royce?"
"Yeah."
"That man… that man is the epitome of luxury. A real Gentleman, not many left" Andy nodded as he sat back "I remember when we were kids, you said when you grew up you wanted to be just like him. Handsome, refined and righteous."
Ianto did remember that and was touched that Andy remembered a drunken blather, even more now he knew his Grandy would have just seen that and known that his Grandson did love him even if the words were never said.
"Well.. not like I wanted to grow up to be me Da now" Ianto said, then those in the know laughed softly… sadly.
"No" Ianto finished as he rose, unfolding those lovely legs "Me Mam's side of the family gave me my best bits."
"Oh did they now…. You mean the lovely big ones to play with?" Jack asked and the shrieking was loud as paper balls were hurled at him across the table and the meeting was concluded.
Now TV Land knew the company had tried to shaft their lovely man… again.
Let's see how they dig themselves out of this one.
.
.
"Hey sweetie, they're back."
"Donna, be a sweetheart and chew them a new one for me would you?" Ianto rose from the fish pond he was weeding around "I trust you to do so in an appropriate manner. Tell them ever so nicely to jog on will ya? I am busy… maybe in a week two so I might have a window."
"Right ya are boss" she spun on her heel and walked confidently towards the visitor area, settling in the chair to look at the faces of the fucktards.
"Right, His Nibs is busy. He sez he will be in touch to reschedule when he has a chance to check his diary. Maybe some time next week." She said calmly.
"Look here miss… miss…."
"I am no one's miss, nor am I a Ms or a Missus… I am a Donna Noble and I will tell you right now Boyo, I do not appreciate that finger wagging thing. If you want me… his PA… to facilitate ANY conversation with me Boss I suggest you learn whose arse to kiss and whose is about to get a pointed shoe shoved up 'em."
Silence.
Donna settled back "right. Now that's settled. Fuck off, he will tell you when he is ready."
"And if he is never ready?" one of them simpered.
"Then you are the dicks so far up one another's arses that you don't even know you are fucked" she rose, then stopped, turning to face them again "and thank you for choosing to converse with Phoenix Enterprises. Have a nice day Gentlemen."
She walked away with a jaunty spring in her step, her grin wide as she had bloody enjoyed that ya know.
She could do this full time, why just be a temp.
Maybe she should ask Ianto for a job then?
.
.
"Really?"
"Why not. When this is all done I am staying, this is my home now. I will need a liaison and you are a bloody good PA ya know. I know you, I like you… hell... I love ya… so… why not."
Donna felt herself start to blush as Ianto continued to nonchalantly slap icing on the cupcakes he had just cooled for afternoon tea.
"You know something, you are a stand up kinda guy Ianto Jones."
"Ianto Phoenix Jones ta muchly" he said in a posh voice, both of them giggling as he asked her to replay the footage again the tablet, the cameras zoomed in on the faces of the board as she spoke of their dicks up each other's arses.
Ianto roared with mirth.
"You are defo a keeper madam!"
"A Madam. Yes, I can be one of those" she agreed. Then added "but a whip might be had to get in here."
Cue more roars of laughter.