TRIGGER WARNING: S3LF H-RM, ATTEMPTED SU!C!D3, PANIC ATTACK, TOURETTES|i lied i forgot to add them in and im too lazy to put them in|, CUSSING, ABU$3, PARENTAL ABU$3

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNING YOU ARE NOW READING AT YOUR OWN RISK

Toby had been feeling like absolute shit lately. Everything had just dropped straight into hell after the car wreck. Toby's mentality had gotten worse an be had picked up some bad self-harm habits. Habits like biting his hands/thighs, cutting with razor/pencil sharpener blades, and chewing the inside of his mouth. Of course, he couldn't feel it, but he still did it. He didn't know why but he did.

Toby didn't understand it but this week had been especially rough. His dad somehow seemed to have gotten more abusive but luckily, he wasn't around much. Toby had been in the kitchen that morning around 10 trying to quickly eat something so he wouldn't starve to death. As Toby was in the kitchen trying to quickly make some cereal when his dad walked in drunk off his fucking ass. Toby's dad stared at him for a moment and that's when it hit Toby that he wasn't wearing a hoodie, all his bite marks on his biceps and his cuts on his forearms were on display for his dad.

Kenneth stared at Toby for a moment, leaning on the door frame into the kitchen. Toby silently stared back, not wanting to do anything to anger his father more since he could tell he was mad. Toby took a step back as his father walked up to him, grabbing his wrist, "I knew this day would come. You try to k!ll yourself yet?" Kenneth asked insensitively.

Toby seems slightly alarmed by the sudden grip, instinctively trying to pull his hand back. "No, I haven't." he says quietly.

"Don't pull away from me bitch" He stated, tightening his grip on Toby's wrist before shoving him back into the counter, "Get the fuck out of here" He growled.

"You say not to pull away from you like you haven't beaten the shit out of me before." Toby snaps.

Kenneth glared back at Toby before grabbing his face, "You are riding on a very fine line boy. You're lucky I'm being nice to you since your so depressed."

"And why do you think that is? Maybe it was my sister getting in a car crash because she was too busy thinking about your cruelty to watch the damn road." Toby says, too tired to be polite anymore.

And then things went to shit again. Toby got beat again like he always did. He eventually made it back to his room and locked the door. Once inside he walked over to his chest of drawers and opened the bottom drawer before pulling out a razor and a pencil sharpener blade. Toby silently walked over to his bed and sat down.

He sat the razor next to him before taking the pencil sharpener blade and making a long cut from his elbow to his wrist. It was thin and didn't do much, but he didn't plan on doing anything more then cut himself. Toby laid back down on his bed, blade still in hand as he started to think. He eventually fell asleep and woke up around 1am. He glanced over at his pillow, seeing his razor resting on it. He quietly picked up as he sat up, he stared at with a silent dazed look on his face. Then Toby didn't know what happened. When he finally processed what was happening, he was standing in his bathroom holding a wet rag to his neck as he dialed the s-!c!d3 hotline number into his phone. He sat the phone down, letting it ring as he looked down at his bloody hand and arm.

He had cut himself pretty fucking bad and was about to attempt when he scared the shit out of himself and cut his neck open a bit before realizing this wasn't what he wanted. Finally, the operator picked up, "Hello, su!c!d3 hotline, what's your emergency?" A soft-spoken male on the other end asked.

Toby let out a quiet sob, "M-Mika?" He asked quietly recognizing the voice from a friend of his when he was actually in school.

James hadnt been called that in like forever and he soon realized who he was dealing with, "Toby, its me James, can you tell me if your safe or not?" James asked

Toby gripped the sink, "No, not at all. I fucked up! I fucked up so damn bad. All i wanted to do was slit my wrist but then something happened and I accidentally ended up cutting my throat. There blood everywhere and i dont know what to do!" He shouted, throwing a bottle of soap across the room

"Alright Toby, were sending an ambulance to your house. I just need you to breath ok? I'm here for you Toby just breath with me. Do you remember those breathing exercises i taught you?" James asked as he frowned. "Y-Yeah" Toby mumbled shakily. "Alright perfect Tobes, look just do those ok? Just slowly now. In for 4 seconds. Hold for 4 seconds. Out for 4 seconds. Just like that. Your doing so well just breath" James took a breath himself, "Are you alone?" James asked

Toby whimpered, "I-I dont know. I just woke up about 30 minutes ago and havent left my room" Toby could hear sirens in the distance and he let out a sigh of relief before getting light headed, "J-James, I dont feel good"

"Ok toby I'm gonna need you to sit down anywhere-" James went quiet as he heard a thud, "Toby?! Toby are you there? Buddy can you hear me? Please toby!" James pleaded