I don't own anything.
Toronto, 29th January 2016 – FreshTV Headquarters
Tom McGillis is on the rocks. If the outside temperature is below zero, his office could be colder than that: the last financial balance sheet indicated a continuous drop in viewers' ratings and distressed calls from sponsors about "the terrible broadcast slot and writing quality". He knew that if this continued, it would mean either the studio closing or a massive layoff to cut costs and yet all the ideas they had tried since their last hit were resounding failures.
"C'mon, we'll get through Tom" said his VP Jennifer Pertsch patting him on the back, "we just need a good idea, and everything will go on. We already won a Gemmy and sure, we can do that again!", said triumphant. McGillis sighs, "This isn't so simple, Jen; we need a big hit to enthrall the audience and appease the sponsors. We don't have a single trump card to show, a single possibility to make something succeed quickly and surely! Argh!", as he slams his hand on the table in frustration.
Across the room, leaning against the wall, Brian Irving, CFO of Fresh TV, frowning, trying to think of something, "What about a new Total Drama season?" questioned. "It's no use. Nowadays, reality shows are in decline, and the original cast is too old for the demographic we want. No one would watch a bunch of thirty-somethings fighting each other or making out", rebuked Tom. "That worked in Survivor", Jen spoke, thinking out loud. "But we're not Survivor", he retorted. Jen was about to make a snarky remark when the phone started ringing.
"Hello, this is Tom McGillis, President of Fresh TV speaking...ah, hello, Shelly", his expression began to change from annoyed to neutral. "A reunion? Right now? We are dealing with something quite sensitive here. Schedule him for the next week, please", as he hung up the phone, "so, where we are before? Oh, yes, it's impossible to do another Total Drama season as it is impossible a revival of 6teen and dear God you know how much I loved that show". Someone knocked on the door three times without any of the three noticings. It was Shelley, and she looked pretty nervous.
"Sorry for interrupting Mr. McGillis, I tried to warn him, but he got on the elevator and...", "...what are you talking Shelly?" Tom inquires as the door bursts open, and a man in his late fifties enters the room. The man in question had black hair with greying in some parts, dark eyes and a jutting chin; he was wearing a navy blue suit and a scarf. In his breast pocket was a pair of glasses tucked away.
"Pardon me for the intrusion, but I think I can help you solve the problem regarding your company's financial situation. My name is Chadley Chizzleton, but everyone calls me just Chad", he spoke; he put his hand in his pocket to get his business card and give it to them. The card was purple and gold and read "Chadley Chizzleton, Television Host and Showman" and a brief resume of shows he has directed.
The three raised their eyebrows at the card while Brian was the first to speak. "Chad Chizzleton? THE Chad Chizzleton? The one who won 3 Gemmys in the same year? The first Canadian to be nominated for best screenplay at the Oscars? THAT CHAD CHIZZLETON?" I thought you retired years ago!". Jen was sweating with nervousness, she never thought she would see the most extraordinary presenter the country had ever had in front of her. Tom just watched and wondered what to think about it all.
"Yes, yes, yes, I know that I am low in the gossip columns since I retired, but I thought I'd come back after seeing a report by Celebrity Manhunt Magazine about the difficulties FreshTV was going through, although I think they were exaggerating when they said you were on the verge of bankruptcy due embezzlement", Chad pondered. "So here I am to help make this company fly like a space rocket again!", he said with a smile.
Jen was already excited. "Great! What idea do you have? I know! It involves an all-star cast and is set in a place full of mysterious tribulations they must face to return home!" Chad nodded his head. "You're quite right, you know? And I have the perfect cast already. You must know them very well, as they participated in six successful seasons.". Tom groans."Argh, we can't make another Total Drama season. It involves a lot of money, we don't have sponsors, the cast is too old, and we even have, and we don't even have contact with most of them! I am sorry, Chad, but as much as you want to help, we won't be able to do anything easy and fast to get back on our feet soon, " Tom said with a sad smile.
An awkward atmosphere was established while the temperature of the room remained freezing.
"... Five months."
"What!?"
"Five months, I need five months to make a draft of the season. If you like it, green light the pre-production. Don't worry about funding, just worry about competitors". It was clear that Chad was dead serious about the proposal. Tom looks at the other two and finally mumbles: "Fine, I'll give you five months. But we'll leave everything in your hands!". Chad smiles while heading to the door, "No problem, see you in July!".
They sat down as soon as he left and wondered if this was a bluff. None of that matters anymore because, besides the end of the day, it was poker night at Walker's Bar.
Toronto, 7th july 2016 – FreshTV Headquarters
Ms. Pertsch was sweating, not because the heatwave had been hitting the city since June. The deadline for the draft was approaching and no sign of him. The milkshake she had bought is melting as she watched the brave ones who dared walk down the sidewalk at that hour. Chad arrived 15 minutes later, even though two hours had passed inside that ice cream shop.
"I am sorry for the delay. Do you know how hot it is outside? I could see a car melting in front of that mirrored building", he said as he placed a briefcase on the table and adjusted his dress shirt to hide the sweat stains that were forming. "Without further ado, here's the draft for the season. I've already talked with a channel to rebroadcast the episodes and with some international sponsors. I need an official response by August to move on to the next steps". The draft had about 50 pages, detailing locations, possibilities for challenges, rules and logistic strategies. You can read the title Total Drama: Final Season on the first page.
Jen was impressed while leafing through the document. "Ow, this draft is fantastic. Tom will love it! I know I can't speak on behalf of the network, but I think we have an agreement, Mr. Chizzleton." As proof of seriousness, she proposed a toast with her already melted milkshake while Chad enjoyed frozen yoghurt.
Ottawa, 3th August 2016 – Sandy Hill
Chad Chizzleton prepares his return to television. That was the headline in the leading metropolitan area newspaper, accompanied by an old photo. He was still proud of his career even after retirement, never skipping a story that spoke of him (at least the ones written in Ottawa). The matter had nothing profound, just conjectures and speculations. What interested him was a comment at the bottom of the magazine questioning the lack of events related to FreshTV's ten years of airing Total Drama Island. His phone rang.
"Hello? Chad's speaking. Hi Tom, how are you doing? Great, great, not so great, great again! So from what I understand, we will stick with the original plan, right? Excellent! I'll be there Monday, and we'll start rolling next year. I need that everyone received the invitation no later than April okay? Bye." The hardest part is over, now is the time for the fun to begin. He looks in his address book for the number of an old acquaintance who can help him. "Hey Clé, remember me? Are you free tonight? I have a proposal you might kill for it…."
Gwen is tired.
The last six years since All Stars haven't been kind to her. After losing her boyfriend and her so-called best friend, she resigned and tried to return to everyday life, only to continue being labelled a boyfriend stealer wherever she went. God knows how she would have endured all this without the help of her mother and her closest friends from TDI and TDAS. The teal and black dyed short hair has been replaced with the original brunette long ponytail, the goth clothes no longer fit and were replaced by t-shirts and a waitress uniform. The work environment and shifts were alright, but this is a living nightmare for someone dreaming of reaching 30 with an art degree.
"I'm home", Gwen said while collapsing on the couch. A soft voice spoke from the kitchen, "Sweetie, you will feel better if you take a bath". That's her mother, Martha Fahenbock, a lady in her early fifties whose age was only discernible by her old-fashioned clothes and wrinkles on her face. His brother, Cody, had moved across the country to study in Nova Scotia two years ago, making her mother feel slightly lonely.
Following his suggestions, Gwen went into the bathroom to take a shower. Naked, she looked back at herself in the mirror and the consequences of her past decisions before turning on the shower. What would her life have been like if she had never sent that damned tape because her brother challenged her? Or if she had tried to understand Trent instead of dumping him? Or even if she hadn't let herself be carried away when Duncan walked into the confessional?
The hot water falls as she broods over her memories. As she dries herself off and puts on a towel, her mother knocks on the door. "Gwen, when you're done there come here. Something came in the mail for you". That's weird. The order she bought through Bananazom would only arrive in 2 weeks, and has already asked for her phone bills to come by email.
Dressed again, she goes to the living room, where her mother awaits her. In her hands, a white card with gold details addressed to Gwen Fahenbock, Victoria BC. She vaguely remembers seeing this type of letter before. Where was it again?
"You gotta be KIDDING with me!", she yelled while checking the letter's contents. She thought she was free of any Total Drama-related events and would never have to re-encounter any life traumas or see Chris' face again. Though the letter spoke of an invitation, she knew it was code for the obligation. That's how she was summoned to All Stars, after all.
"At least this time I can prepare myself for this madness", she signs. The meeting was scheduled for 3 months, and it would be all paid for by the production. "Honey, if this is too much we can talk to them. They don't know what you went through", her mother spoke, patting her back. "Thanks mom, but I think it's hard for that to happen. Besides, I can use this to face my ghosts and find some friends."
Emma is the happiest woman in the world.
She realized this after watching her fiancé as Noah snore after a week of honeymoon in Nha Trang. He wanted to learn more about Vietnamese culture after the challenge in Cần Thơ, and she had some relatives in town. After four years of dating, they finally decided to marry. The ceremony was beautiful, although Owen had to be restrained after getting too emotional with "his little friend growing up".
Of course, when they return to Canada, she will have to think about whether they will change their last name, if she will become Emma Mahale or if he will become Noah Ngọc. This is only more confusing when "Emma" is not her real name but a nickname, as people had trouble calling her Thang Ba Ngọc. But none of that matters. She's a woman married to a handsome man with smooth glutes, a smooth forehead and a dry sense of humour.
"Gummy bear, wake up", Emma spoke softly as she laid her head on Noah's neck. It was nine o'clock in the morning, and the city's heat was already penetrating the room they were in, illuminating the balcony and some potted plants. The sweat that soaked the bed came more from this climate than the climate between them during the previous night.
"I'm not a gummy bear", Noah grumbles in his sleep as he turns to accommodate himself between Emma's collarbone, It's breakfast time yet? I hope this time we don't eat something so spice like that chicken; my ass is still breathing fire". Emma laughs and kisses the tip of his nose. "If you don't get up then we're going to have that spicy chicken for lunch. The breakfast service ends at 10 o'clock, remember?" Noah got up right away, "of course, ma'am!"
After bathing together and changing clothes, the two were in the hotel lobby, eating and checking their emails through their notebooks. Even though Emma and Noah were on vacation, they were still responsible for coordinating their teams.
After Ridonculous Race Emma got into law school and found an annoying but extremely competent classmate and roommate named Courtney. Although the coexistence was difficult in the beginning due to the fight of egos between the two, both helped each other during graduation and were admitted at Kauffman & Kauffman Law Firm, which specialized in lawsuits involving people in the entertainment field. Nowadays, the two have been promoted and seek to act to have a name in the market, eventually their law firm.
And while Noah wanted to be the leech in the relationship ("Married to a lawyer? I'll never have to work in my life!"), he got a job as a systems and data security developer. Nothing too complicated (at least for him), but it does require online meetings with other developers and occasionally with an international executive. Even with this routine, he still regularly meets his Total Drama friends willingly (Owen, Cody, Kitty and Eva) or not (Courtney, Izzy and Harold). He'll never admit it, but he's grateful for Izzy and Harold's advice on how to propose to Emma and the best kind of engagement ring to give her.
Everything was calm until they received an email addressed to both of them regarding a reunion of the cast participating in Ridonculous Race, suggesting another season. "Something sounds fishy, I know the difference between a letter written by Chris McLean and one written by Don. Especially the 'we don't want to resort to judicial decisions' part". Noah knew how slippery Chris was, and what he least wanted was to fall for a scam and become a competitor in any Total Drama Despair or whatever. "I know you're suspicious, but we can take good faith. Besides, if it's a scam, Courtney will be the first to sue, " Emma smirked, saying the last sentence.
Noah sighs. "Okay, but if I have to run naked in the Amazon forest covered with bullet ants in my crotch, you will do too". Emma rolls his eyes playfully, "Anything for you, Noah...".
Everything was calm in Thunder Bay Correctional Centre, where men and women go after committing crimes or trying to escape them through Canada's Gateway to the West. Among many men and women serving their sentences in search of personal redemption were three individuals who would again see the outside world with their own eyes, without shackles or guards.
Duncan Nelson was staring at the ceiling of his cell, wondering for the twentieth time whether that stain in the far left corner was a stain or a dead cockroach. His orange uniform was already faded after so many years of being washed. Does he regret blowing up Chris' mansion? Obviously, it was monumental stupidity that he thought he would juvie every time he got caught. Does he regret humiliating Chris? Not much.
His parents even tried to pull strings so that he wouldn't be convicted, but his criminal history weighed in at the time of the verdict. Even if he thought he deserved to go to prison, ten years is a harsh sentence for someone who didn't kill anyone, especially when he shares a cell with a scammer who embezzled funds from the elderly and a former priest who molested acolytes in Montreal.
He still gets visits from his parents and some Total Drama persons (like Geoff and DJ). Although sad, he understands why Gwen and Courtney never visited him for almost seven years. "Hey, Scam Steve, have any new news to tell?", spoke Duncan as he turned his head towards the bunk on the opposite side, "I heard Izzy try to kiss another guard again, and they had to hold her back. By RNC. She only passed out after 20 minutes". Although deplorable, Scam Steve was the guy who best knew what was going on in the entire penitentiary complex. He was the one who released firsthand the arrival of former Total Drama participant Scarlett in that prison.
"Ho, ho, ho, the women's section has been laughing about it for days now, but as far as I know, she wasn't trying to kiss the guard but rather stealing the taser in the holster. This girl doesn't know when to quit.", Steve said while handling a battered and certainly illegal deck of cards. "I don't know how no one has tried to harass her yet, but she must be the type to bite a guy's dick off.".
The alarm sounded, indicating that it was free time. The only hour they could walk around the open area of the complex was to get some sun or exercise. Duncan stretched and climbed down from the top bunk. Just as he waited for the guard to put the handcuffs on, Steve said, "Word has been going around the halls that the director wants to talk to you today. Try not to fuck it up, and maybe you'll leave sooner than you expect. You're a good boy. Maybe you can be a garbage man when you get out of here, ho ho ho". Duncan would say something about Steve's mockery when the guard entered the cell to take him away.
Steve's hunch was correct, as he was being taken to the prison's command centre, not the courtyard. In front of him was a man with white hair, closed eyes, a blue cap and a thick moustache. It was the second time he saw Mr. Matterhorn; the first was when he was admitted to that place. "Duncan Nelson, Duncan Nelson...inveterate rebel. I remember when you walked into this room with a ridiculous green mohawk and a face like you don't know what the fuck you did to be here", as Mr. Matterhorn spoke, he circled Duncan giving the youth a head-to-toe look.
"These years here must have taught you to respect private property and not try to fuck two girls at the same time", he continued sneering, "but enough chit-chat, today we're going talk about your future". He pulled out a drawer with a lot of paperwork and placed it on the table before him. Duncan was sitting down, so he couldn't figure out what that was about. "This is your passport to the future. Someone wants you away from here, and it's not your parents. Normally I don't do business with terrorists but since you've been staying out of trouble and keeping that pedophile priest in check, I'm going to get a behavioural reassessment to get your sentence reduced."
Duncan's eyes widened. "Permission to speak, sir", he was anxious now but knew the jail rules. The Director looked at him and nodded, "Permission granted". "What do I have to do to get the sentence reduced? Will it reduce all the rest or just a part? I know I've been here for seven years now, but it would be nice if I could extinguish it all". Duncan tried not to get up from his chair; he didn't want to look like he was causing a disturbance. "The conditional is simple: you just need to accept this document. Sign up, and you're free. But you must follow all the rules if you don't want to return here."
Mr. Matterhorn gestured for him to get up and go to his desk, where a white and gold letter rested. Duncan opened it and quickly read the contents. A mixture of relief, anger and despair filled his face. "That son of a bitch", muttered under his breath, "you could have said that this passport led straight to hell", as he turned his face to stare Mr Matterhorn in the eyes. "This is more like purgatory, suits you. I understand if you don't want to sign, but you'll need to celebrate 2020's New Year behind bars, " said the director.
Did he have any real choice? Participate in another season of Total Drama or stay stuck? That was a false dilemma. Anything was better than staying in that cell with those two bastards. His only thought as he signed that letter was whether he could rebuild the bridges he burned.
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While Duncan was in Matterhorn's office, Scarlett Lynch counted prime numbers. While not one of the most fun pastimes, it is one of the most ingenious that our evil redhead could do with her hands tied by a straitjacket. Due to her incredible intellect and persuasive ability, she is in the maximum security wing, in a room that, although spacious for one person, was uncomfortable.
Scarlett's mistake was acting too soon, getting too emotional, thinking that everyone was an idiot and that McLean would give up the money so quickly. Through psychiatric tests, the prosecution proved psychopathic tendencies, leading to a much more severe verdict than just a death threat to the participants on Pahkitew Island. That and the fact that she nearly stabbed said prosecutor when the sentence was announced. 20 years in jail.
Usually, she would be able to walk around her cell with her hands-free, but this privilege was revoked after she attempted to hang herself with the sheet. Since then, it's been two weeks, three days and 17 hours without her being able to move her arms freely without supervision or sleep with covers. "...2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37...", the numbers come out of her mouth like a mantra.
"Lynch, you have a visit". That's rare; aside from her family nobody visited her since she got kicked off the show. The female guard approached the doorway Scarlett could hear someone else's footsteps, and they were someone in chains. When she realized it, another redhead was in front of her, ready to enter the room.
Izzy couldn't stop grinning. Finally, after all these years she managed to face the terror of Thunder Bay. All she had to do was turn herself into the police and make the jailers' lives hell until they got pissed and threw her with the worst person in the women's prison. But why is Izzy in prison anyway? In addition to blowing up a military kitchen, she managed to gain access to secret documents that indicated not only the Canadian government's connivance with the rape and mass graves in the Canadian Indian residential schools but also agreements from the Premier of Ottawa towards Chris McLean to absolve him of any environmental and labour crimes. Wiki leaks may have taken the credit, but Izzy stole those documents!
Once in prison, it was easy to live with. She had her cell, her clothes, her cellmates, her riot days, her solitary days and her days of showing who was the biggest bitch in prison that no one should get into if they didn't want to have his dick or nipples ripped off with her teeth while they slept. But only after three years did she finally achieve her main goal.
"Whoa, you're Scarlett, right? I thought you are more menacing, like a bear or that man who says 'Hello Clarice' hehehehe", the door closed just as Izzy walked in and started approaching Scarlett.
"I'm sorry, I can't remember who you are. Have we ever met?", the tied redhead's tone of voice was neutral, almost as if she was interested in that conversation. "I'm not one to go out on the patio to sunbathe or exercise, I think you're kidding yourself about me". "Oh no, you are exactly the person I was looking for. A crazy redhead who tried to kill everyone because she couldn't stand a purple-haired brat calling her a minion and a sadistic host man who laughed as she suffered among idiots on a mechanical island. That's the girl I wanted to see in a maximum security cell".
Izzy's smile widened as memories of Scarlett made her angrier and angrier. Her hair started coming loose from the bun as her eyes fluttered. Scarlett snaps, "If you know what's good for yourself, you should shut up and never quote that little bastard or that damn show in front of me AGAIN". Against all common sense, Izzy kept moving closer while keeping taunting her. "What you gonna do? Kick me? Bite me? Eat my heart out? Eat ME out?", the last said with a sultry tone. "Now that we've broken the ice, it's time for the main course hahaha". Before Scarlett could do anything, Izzy was behind her, fiddling with the locks holding the straitjacket. Each lock opened in a matter of minutes, allowing the redhead to move her elbows.
After removing the straitjacket and stretching her arms, Scarlett promptly launched herself against Izzy, pinning her against the wall while one hand held her arm and the other around her neck. "You shouldn't have done that, especially after taunting me. So...Izzy, right? What happened to have the honour of meeting you? Matterhorn wants to test me to see if I can get another 15 for killing someone in prison?" His questions were answered only by a burst of increasingly erratic laughter.
"No, you silly goose, I'm here of my own free will, I wanted to meet someone as Explosivo, BOOM hahaha", his chin was still pressed against the cold wall of the cell. "I just wanted to say that there are rumours that they want to get all the Total Drama contestants together, including you, Duncan and me! Isn't it fun?" Scarlett froze like a statue, dropping Izzy. "Another season? No, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO, I REFUSE, I'D RATHER BE HARASSED BY THAT DISGUSTING PRIEST THAN SEE THOSE PEOPLE AGAIN". She was hyperventilating, and Izzy was on the floor trying to pull herself together.
"Easy, easy, breath in, breath out, blow the candle", Scarlett followed Izzy's commands like Gwen followed Zoey's when she got trapped in the mine. Izzy likes teasing but doesn't want to see anyone fainting. "I know you hate it, but I think this could mean a new life for you. A new beginning, a brand-new world", the crazy redhead patted the psycho redhead. This could be a new beginning indeed, a new beginning where she is not labelled a psychopath, and she can treat her admitted sociopath normally and calmly while earning her Ph.D. at Yale. Maybe Izzy is more intelligent than it seems.
"Okay, let's say I get this invitation. How would I participate without having served even half of my sentence and even after attacking you?", now she felt terrible for letting her nerves get the better of her. "Anything is possible when you bribe the right man at the right time", Izzy said cryptically. Footsteps are heard again, probably from the female guard from earlier.
As if by magic, when she approached the door Izzy had no marks from the little fight the two had and Scarlett had the straitjacket on as if it had never been removed. "Bye, friend, meet you soon!", Izzy waved and walked away handcuffed by her hands and heels. Three days later, Mr Matterhorn showed Scarlett the same proposition he had made to Duncan. She could sign it in blood to prove her seriousness about the deal if she could.
The sun was bright at Alberta Hospital Edmonton. A gentle breeze blew as Ezekiel Murray watched the birds. "American Robin, Woodpecker, Sparrow". The homeschooler spoke to himself as he turned the binoculars towards the said species.
He is still recovering from the mutations he suffered in Revenge of the Island and the feral state inherited from the World Tour, his hair has grown out, but he still has pointy ears, his skin is still greenish, and he has trouble speaking in complex sentences as if he were a small child.
After a pleasant stay in the Fun Zone, he recovered after Wawanakwa Island sank, although most of his mutant animal friends weren't so lucky. After an emotional reunion with his family and an extensive lawsuit against FreshTV, he got all-paid treatment at Alberta Hospital Edmonton, just 10 kilometres from his home.
He got used to spending 15 days at the institute watching birds, drawing landscapes with acrylic paint, writing letters and having speech therapy sessions with a private doctor. "Pretty bird brown". He tried to memorize the features of the birds he saw to paint them later. "Hello Zeke, sharp as always uh?", says Doctor Sullivan. He was one of the local doctors and in charge of Ezekiel's recovery. He wore thick glasses and was bald with a bushy beard. Although it looked like a disguise, it was what he looked like in everyday life.
"Come here, my boy, something very special came to you at the mail! Don't worry; I'll help you to read through", reassured the doctor. The latter was pretty, all white and golden. Zeke was struggling with some sentences, but he understood most of them. It was an invitation to a party where everyone who participated in Total Drama would be present! He has vague memories of what happened after London. He knew he did bad things, but he doesn't remember well. The doctors always told him not to worry about it, but he retains a volcano, an orange girl with hairspray and his mutant friends in the fun zone.
He was excited. He practised his signature several times until he made a beautiful one to sign the official document. He could make friends and even make it to the final this time.
Chris McLean was angry. No, to say he was angry was to underestimate his feelings. He was furious, deadly furious. Despite the good ratings of his latest show, Fast Cars & Hot Chicks with Chris McLean, he had little to zero buzz on the internet. No one commented on the program in magazines; he was less and less invited to international and national awards as a presenter or nominated for any category. McLean was approaching midlife crisis fast, and there was nothing God or the devil could do to save him. He was becoming an old dog in a new world full of tricks.
"Chef, are you awake? I know you are awake, we're in the same time zone and you never go to bed before 1 am. Just answer me", Chris tried to keep a calm tone of voice even if he showed signs of uneasiness. The nicotine had worn off, and he didn't want to drink another bottle of wine after throwing up the last one on the carpet the week before.
"Yeah, I wake Chris. What do you want?", on the other end of the line was Chef, displeased at being interrupted during the broadcast of his favourite soap opera, "It's better to be important. Charley is about to be kissed by Melania during Ferdinand's wedding!", the sense of urgency contrasted with the narrated topic. With the franchise's hiatus, Chef returned to being a fameless cook. No one wanted a scary black man to host any show, let alone one who was flesh and blood with the infamous Chris McLean.
"Look, we have known each other since we were 20 years old. We ruled the world, the most iconic duo from the late 2000s. Why are we at rock bottom now? Don has replaced me! And you cook at that shitty restaurant at twenty avenue; they don't even tip you! What I mean is...we need to do something about it before...is too late", Chris was getting desperate already.
"You mean your career, right? I was never famous, and my screen time was reduced since season 4! Go bark another tree McLean, I'll never embark on any bullshit to help you again", Chef was about to hang up when Chris yelled at him to wait. "FINE, I was a jerk, okay? But I am thinking about us, not me. You miss the mind-blowing feeling of being in front of the camera, the thrill of terrorizing teenagers, and being with me for three months of the year, don't deny it". As much as it hurts, Chris has a good point. He misses his Total Drama stardom.
"Okay, Mr. Hollywood, what's the plan?", he spoke without taking his eye off the soap opera. "Simple, let's beg for another season of Total Drama All Stars. The TV station is on the ropes. They won't refuse some easy rating". Chef beats, "Chris, the kids are almost thirty, I don't know if this could work". "Don't worry dude, I've got this", with that, Chris hung up the phone and started racking his brains on how he could resurrect his career and present a credible draft to the network.
He was about to call McGillis when he got a mail. "Tom, you sly dog, I know you couldn't live without me!". He usually would read the letter and the host contract, but it was in line with the ones he had kept in his file (especially the TDAS and TDPI contracts). His phone rang; it was Chef. "Did you get too? Great, we're back in the game; time to shine". Some days he hates being Chris McLean, but today is not one of those days.
"You can't fire me. Everyone watches this shit because of me!", Blaineley screeches. "Yes, I Can. The host skills of yours work only on dogs, nothing else. Last episode was awful when you tried to use young slang. Even our most faithful audience hated it". Those harsh words are from Doris McGrady (no family connection to a particular nerd famous for his mad skills), producer of a Total Drama clone. It seems that she now understands why with Blaineley the show would never have taken off.
"The pilot is a failure, and it was all your fault! Sorry, but I'll recast the host to someone who knows how to talk to teenagers". With that, our blonde host was officially unemployed after eighteen years. Only now she was 46 and in debt because of her new apartment in Westmount. She must quickly re-enter the market before resorting to less glamorous or mundane jobs.
"Think, Blaine, you must have the phone number of someone with a job opportunity to host a television show, " she said as she walked down the street, looking through her cell phone's address book. "No, definitely no...yeah, he might work." She scrolled down until she found the number of an old acquaintance: Josh Parker, former co-host of Celebrity Manhunt and current gossip columnist for Montreal Today. The last time they spoke was the article he did about her after the end of World Tour. On occasion, she called him a motherfucking little bitch and tried to make him eat his own words (literally, she printed the article and tried to force the paper down his throat).
She gulped as she dialled. Hopefully, he hadn't changed his number. "Hello Mildred, how can I help you? I have to admit, you have the guts to call me after being fired, you know?". The condescending voice didn't change at all—time to appear friendly and gregarious. "Hey Josh, I know you must be busy now that you're a columnist in Montreal, but wouldn't you know of any hosting opportunities? I had to leave the show because of...creative differences". Blaineley's tone was as fake as his hair colour.
"Should I help you? If I remember correctly, last time I ended up at the hospital with a piece of paper shoved in my throat for trying to help you…", Josh was bitter; he didn't forget that day. Blaineley frowns. "You deserved that. That article said that probably the only person who would have sex with me after that season was Bruno, and he was a bear. A real bear. I didn't come here to talk about the past but about my future. Do you know anyone who can put me in a program or not!?", she snaps at him.
She thought he'd hung up for a moment because of the long silence between them. Finally, Josh replied, "Well….I have something for you, but you won't like it". At that moment she was all ears for what he would say. "I heard FreshTV is doing a new season of Total Drama, and they were looking for a host. It looks like Chris is unable to come back, and so is Don. Maybe it's your only opportunity right now. If you want, I'll send you the email I received about it, and you try to convince them". Even though she knew the future Blaineley would kill her for accepting it, she decided to bet on it. It was the last alternative she could think of, and ignoring it would perhaps be her biggest regret when working as a used car salesman in case everything went wrong.
The network responded two days later to his proposal, containing his resume and salary expectations. To her surprise, they accepted without reservations, requiring her to sign the paperwork before officially starting. Without McLean to get in her way, this is her golden chance to return to being as famous as she was before.
Vancouver International Airport, 27th may 2017 – 12:43
Vancouver International Airport was busy. Thousands of people come and go to their destinations, be they personal or professional. To the most inattentive eyes, it could be said that it was another boring Saturday, but for some it was just the beginning of a series of twists and turns that would change the lives of eighty-eight people.
Each one came as they could: some by plane, others by car. Their silhouettes blended into the crowd like snowflakes in a blizzard. Gwen sighed; Noah was worried; Duncan wondered why they didn't take his orange jumpsuit off; Ezekiel was enchanted with the plane landing, Blaineley was fixing his traditional red dress and Chis and Chef were waiting just for the cue to start recording.
Hidden from all of them were Chad and his production assistant Oliver. Wow, he had already forgotten the butterflies he got when he started presenting a new show. It feels like the first of his career. Less excited was Oliver, who regretted leaving his house in a flannel shirt in 32-degree heat. "I have a terrible feeling about this", said the young man. Chad scoffs, "this is what mortals feel when they attain godhood, Oliver, this is not the time to be afraid. Let's show them all we've got". Oliver checked the last details before the real moment. "Cameras ready, makeup ready...contestants ready". Chad takes a deep breath and closes his eyes with a determined look before opening them. "...it's showtime".
Aaaaaaand, it's done! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of Total Drama: Final Season! I have loved this show since I was a kid but only now did I pluck up the courage to compile and write down all my ideas about the show. Just a few comments:
1. English isn't my first language, and quite frankly, I never really wrote in English until nowadays
2. I watched all seasons to remember the characters' behaviour and how they would be after ten years. Along with that, I will put some headcanons I have about them, as you may have noticed by reading the chapter
3. I have a general idea of how the story will work, particularly who will be eliminated, some arcs, locations and teams. The hardest part is writing!
4. Some chapters will have some references to total drama fanworks and other shows as well. Try to find them as you read!
5. Spelling and grammar will be Canadian standards. I understand that most use the American standard, but it's better to choose one than to alternate (only if necessary).
6. About the publication schedule: I will publish the chapter as soon as I finish revising it. I work and study, so my free time is a bit compromised. I will publish biweekly at 6 pm GMT-3.
7. The show's timeline could be more explicit. Still, for the sake of understanding, the first season was recorded and aired in 2007, with the original contestants between the ages of 16 and 17. TDPI aired in 2010, and Ridonculous Race took place in 2013. In 2017 most of the original cast were 26/27 years old.
8. This story will be cross-posted in AO3, too (I hope so).
That's all, folks. See you in the next challenge. What role will Chris and Blaineley have? What's Chad up to? Is a single person capable of writing a fanfic of this size alone!?
Find out all this and more in the next chapter of TOTAL...DRAMA...FINAL SEASON!