Sybbie awoke with a start, tears streaming down her face. She felt frightened and disorientated not knowing where she was for a few minutes, she felt someone stir next to her on her right hand side. George sat up and rubbed his eyes, he took a look at his distraught cousin and wrapped his arms around her tightly. She fell into his arms, her sobs muffled by his shoulder and she clung on tight.
"Oh Syb... what happened? Did you have a bad dream?" George whispered, rubbing her back and hugging her tight. Despite only being a year older than Sybbie, George was fiercely protective over her and he always had been. She was like a sister to him rather than a cousin and it broke his heart to see her so sad and to know that there was nothing anyone could do to help her. Her breath hitched in her throat and she shook her head, pulling away from him. She felt so guilty for everything that had happened, this was all her fault. She didn't deserve anyone's kindness. George grew even more concerned, he crawled to the end of the bed careful not to wake his mother and father and pulled Sybbie along with him.
"Come on, let's go out into the garden. We can chat more there.." He said in a hushed voice, opening his parents bedroom door and closing it quietly behind them both. He looked down at Sybbie and tried to smile, it came out as more of a grimace.
"I'll meet you down by the front door at 8:00am, we ought to wrap up warm it'll be freezing cold. I'll ask Mrs Patmore to make us some hot chocolate and wrap up some of her chocolate cake," George nudged her playfully with his elbow and Sybbie smiled a little, hot chocolate and Mrs Patmore's chocolate cake was her favourite. Even if she did feel lousy and not up to eating, the fact her cousin thought of her warmed her heart. She nodded slightly unable to get her words out and headed towards her bedroom, selecting her most comfortable dress and her big warm winter coat. She put it on, looking at herself in the mirror and hating what she saw. She felt like a complete monster, she didn't understand why they were being so kind to her.
She made her way downstairs towards the front door, seeing George armed with a big flask and two huge slices of wrapped up cake. She smiled as bravely as she could manage, George saw right through her bravado, he was so much like his father both in looks and mannerisms. He then took a bag off of Carson and smiled his thanks, they were both extremely fond of him. He was more like a second grandfather to them than a butler and they treated him as such.
"Thank you Carson, can you tell mother and father that we've gone out into the garden? You know how much she worries," George said with a small twinkle in his eye. Carson bowed his head slightly, his normally stoic demeanor cracking slightly. What he wouldn't give to wrap the two grieving children up into his arms and tell them that everything would be alright, especially poor little Sybbie who looked absolutely awful; her normally well styled brown hair matted and her under eyes black from lack of sleep.
"Very good Master George, have you got everything? Your blanket is in the bag, do make sure to sit on it please. I don't want you both to get your clothes dirty..." He said gruffly, going back into butler mode. He was only pulled out of it when he felt a pair of slender arms wrapping around his middle and wet cheeks resting on his chest. He looked down and wrapped his arms around the young girl, holding her head against his chest. Feeling his own eyes well up, he bit back a sob.
"There there... Miss Sybbie, you have a good cry. Don't you hold anything in, there there!" He soothed, patting her back and allowing her to cry in his arms as George watched on, this man wasn't a butler. This man was family and they were so lucky to have him, they would struggle immensely without Carson. Sybbie pulled away her eyes red rimmed and swollen, she gratefully accepted Carson's handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes.
"Thank you Carson, you've always been so good to us. I don't know what we would do without you, truly I don't!" She said, affection lacing her voice. Carson bowed his head again and turned around slowly making his way to the servants hall before both children could see his tears. It didn't seem at all proper to display them in front of the children. George wrapped an affectionate arm around Sybbie as they made their way out into the garden. He hoped that the fresh air would help his cousin, even just a tiny bit.
It had taken them an hour or so to make their way to their favourite spot in the gardens, underneath the oak tree and overlooking the pond. George handed Sybbie the cakes and hot chocolate whilst he laid the blanket across the grass, he put the cakes and flask on the blanket and sat down. Sybbie sat down too, taking a cup of cocoa that George thrust into her hand. He also thrust a slice of cake into her hands, she noticed with great fondness that he'd given her the bigger slice. It felt like when they were young children again, he was forever looking out for her. He let her play with the best toys first, always gave her the biggest slice of cake, always tried to take the blame when they got in trouble with their parents or their nanny and included her in everything. He always took care of her. The big brother that she'd never had.
"Syb I just... I don't even know what to say! I just can't believe he's gone, it doesn't seem real yet does it?' He whispered, grasping her hand and squeezing tight. Sybbie shook her head slightly as a tear fell down her cheek which she swiped away angrily, she took a sip of her drink and tried to wash away the lump in her throat. He would still be here if it wasn't for her selfishness, if it wasn't for her need to go and prove a point with all her friends. How could she be so stupid?
"Georgie... I just, it's all my fault!" She burst into tears, heart wrenching sobs escaped her lips and George flung his arms around her tightly. He was horrified at the way she was blaming herself for this, she didn't deserve to blame herself for something that was a tragic accident. He kept her within his embrace, trying to comfort her as she was bordering on hysterical.
"I went to that stupid meeting in the town with Joan, Claudia and Winnie... you know the meeting about women's rights? I snuck out! I went while papa, your mama and your papa were asleep. I thought I was so mature... following in my mama's footsteps! Trying to make a difference... whatever the hell that means!" She continued to wipe her tears away, George raised his eyebrow slightly. He wasn't used to this side of his cousin, he didn't say a word and just hugged her tight, pressing a small kiss to her head. She kept her arms around his middle, slowly gaining more confidence to talk to him.
"I made it to the end of the meeting, I was so inspired! We left and then that's when I saw my papa! George, he was so angry! He embarrassed me in front of them, he was so annoyed with me and I was equally as annoyed at him for doing so! He made me get into the car and he shouted at me, telling me he was disappointed in me for going and that I could've gotten hurt... we started to talk about my mama and how times are changing. George, I told him that I hated him! That's the last thing I ever said to him!" She let out a wail, she sobbed brokenly it was a sound that George hadn't ever heard before and he never wanted to hear it again. He felt a lump form in his throat, his eyes burned as he tried to keep his tears in.
"Sybbie... Uncle Tom knew you loved him, this was not your fault! You were always telling him that you loved him, it was an accident! You didn't know this was going to happen, your papa loved you, he still loves you! He's with your mama now," He whispered comfortingly, using words so beyond his years. Something he'd definitely learnt from his father, he'd watched the way he treated his mother, Sybbie, even the servants who worked within their home! Matthew would never talk down to them, would never refer to them as servants and he even remembered a time when he and Sybbie had been young and had watched as his father comforted and soothed a young house maid who had been in tears after being shouted at by Carson for making a mistake, his father had taught him how to treat people and how to empathise. He'd never been so grateful to his father for instilling this into him.
Sybbie just sobbed and sobbed, she was unable to think about anything at the moment. She was bruised and injured, devastated about her beloved papa and she just wanted him back. She needed him so much that it hurt! She wasn't sure how long they were sat there for but it was a long time, George just kept her within his arms and hugged her tight. He felt a presence near to them and turned his head, seeing his parents walking towards them he smiled weakly. Sybbie hiccuped a little, she hadn't heard her Aunt and Uncle coming towards them.
"Your mama and papa are going to hate me if they don't already!" She hiccuped jumping a little when she heard her Aunt's voice.
"Sybil Mary Cora Branson!" Mary admonished, glancing at the small girl who was encased in her son's embrace. Sybbie had gone extremely quiet and George glanced up at his extremely worried parents.
Mary and Matthew had awoken around 9:00am, both children not in the bed with them. They had both been concerned, especially about Sybbie after the state she had been in when Matthew had gone into her bedroom last night. Mary rang through to downstairs, worry etched across her face. She hoped the two children were alright.
"Carson, have you seen Master George and Miss Sybbie? You have? Oh, they've gone out into the gardens!" Matthew could see the relief on his wife's face as she spoke to the butler, twirling her hair around her fingers, something she only did when she was trying to comfort herself. Matthew rubbed her back offering her silent comfort, it worked. Mary's fingers stilled and she calmed down.
"How were they both Carson? Miss Sybbie was crying but Master George took care of her did he? Thank you for telling me..." She hung up the phone, a mixture of worry and pride etched all across her face at once. Worry about her son and niece but also pride in knowing that her boy was taking care of his cousin, she was so proud of him. Mary headed straight to the bathroom to get washed and dressed with Matthew quickly following suit, they went desperately worried at this point but they didn't want to leave the two children on their own, who knows what state they were in. They made their way downstairs and out the door, walking for what felt like ages until Matthew stopped her and pointed.
There they saw the two children, Sybbie sobbing in her cousin's arms and George trying to comfort her. It broke both of their hearts, especially when it was clear that George noticed them. The brave smile that George put on, trying to make out he was alright when he very clearly wasn't. They moved closer and that's when they heard Sybbie speak, and it made them feel even more protective of her than they already did.
"Your mama and papa are going to hate me if they don't already!"
"Sybil Mary Cora Branson!" Mary admonished before she could even stop herself, she bent down on the rug and glanced between the two children. Sybbie had gone silent and George looked up at his mother and father, he clearly knew why she was saying that and Mary gave her son a look, a look which he knew meant that they wanted time alone to talk to Sybbie, he gently pried Sybbie off of him so he could get up. Not before being pulled into a hug by his father.
"I am so proud of you, my boy. You have really looked after your cousin, we've got it from here. Would you like to go out and meet John while your mother and I talk to Sybbie?" He had whispered into his ear, George blushed under his praise and smiled slightly. This one was a lot more genuine than his previous one. He did also really want to see his friend, desperate to try and keep things normal.
"Yes please, father. I think it would do me good" He had also smiled at his mother and headed back up to the house, he was incredibly concerned about Sybbie. But he tried to push it down, his parents would look after her now.
Mary sat down next to Sybbie and reached out a hand to smooth the young girls hair, she could see that the poor child was hanging on by a thread. Sybbie gripped onto the blanket with all her might, her knuckles turned white and Mary reached down to grasp her hands. She couldn't watch this any longer, she lifted her into her lap and began to rock her in her arms. Mary didn't say anything, not for the minute... she heard Sybbie's breath hitch, she felt her niece's arms wrap around her tightly. So tight that she was worried that she'd actually do more damage to her already injured body. It was Matthew who spoke first, gently sitting down in front of her and reaching out to grasp her hand.
"Sybbie, darling! Why would you ever think that we could hate you? We love you so much, there is nothing that could make us hate you!" He reached out to wipe her stray tears with his thumb and that was it. That did it. She wailed, she cried and she broke. Oh god, did she break down. It was worse than last night, worse than the hospital even... Mary hugged her tight, rocking the little girl back and forth. Her sobs were like a knife through their hearts, it broke their hearts to hear her cry like this.
"It was all my fault! I went to that stupid meeting! He never would've gotten in that car if it wasn't for me... I was so angry with him! He embarrassed me in front of my friends, so I had a go at him, he told me how disappointed he was in me and we spoke about mama and her first meeting..." Sybbie hiccuped and Matthew shuddered slightly as he remembered the aftermath of that meeting. He'd never seen Robert so cross in his life. Mary stroked the little girls face, trying desperately to calm her down. It was no use, as she spoke more, her heart broke for the little girl in her arms.
"I told him that I hated him Aunt Mary... Uncle Matthew! That was the last thing I ever said to him, minutes later this car... it just plowed into us! Papa shielded me with his body, I didn't mean it. I don't hate him, I want papa! I just want my papa!" Sybbie fought out of Mary's arms and made a dash for it, running towards the pond. What she was trying to do, she wasn't sure exactly but in that instant she wanted her papa. She almost made it there but a pair of strong arms scooped her up with ease and hugged her tight, she fought and kicked him.
"Let me go Uncle Matthew! I want my papa... he's gone! They're both gone, I just want my mama and papa!" Matthew and Mary gasped, they both felt sick as they watched their little niece's distress. She still wriggled and kicked within Matthew's embrace as he began to walk towards the house Mary alongside them carrying everything else, it wasn't safe outside at the moment, they didn't want Sybbie to try and make another dash for the pond again. Matthew made his way to the library and sat on the sofa, cradling the little girl in his lap. She was getting more and more distressed and he didn't know what to do, until an idea overtook him. He began to rock her whilst humming a lullaby, something he would always do for both her and George when they were little. After a few minutes, Sybbie stopped struggling and she buried her face into his chest and hugged him tight, her tears quietened a little.
"I just miss him so much... I didn't mean it. I swear I didn't!" She played with the cufflinks on Matthew's sleeve, something she had only ever done with her papa before now. Mary's throat tightened as she looked at Matthew, his fatherly instincts were growing massively. She could tell how much this was upsetting him, it was upsetting her as well. She didn't know how they were going to make it better for their niece. Matthew looked down at Sybbie with so much love and affection in his eyes, that she cried even more.
"You did nothing wrong my darling, it was an accident. You aren't to blame, I've got you... hush now. Your aunt and I are right here with you and we aren't going to leave you, shhh my love. Don't apologise, you've done nothing wrong! Shhhh..." He cooed, gently kissing her cheek and stroking away her tears gently, careful not to hurt her face anymore than it already was. Sybbie quietened down and hugged him tight, reaching an arm out towards Mary.
"Aunt Mary..." She hiccuped slightly and Mary made a beeline to her, sitting beside her and stroking her face. She was so young to be going through this, how she wished that she could take away this pain from her. She leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead, anything to calm her.
"I'm here sweetheart, Aunt Mary's got you. I love you so much, we both do" She whispered, reaching into the bag for the blanket and wrapping it around the young girl. Sybbie snuggled within their embrace, her eyes began to feel heavy and she fought to stay awake. She needed to ask one more question, a question that was worrying her.
"When are Donk and Grandmama coming back?" She twirled Mary's necklace around her fingers and leaned in more, desperately trying to keep her eyes open. Mary stroked her hair, smiling ever so slightly when Sybbie snuggled into them both.
"I don't know my darling, I wrote to them yesterday afternoon but it'll take a while. They're a long way away, I think it'll take a couple weeks at least..." Mary said softly and Sybbie accepted that. Her eyes grew even more heavy and Mary tucked her up more, watching as the little girl fell asleep in their arms. She was safe, in the arms of two people who had never let her down and who loved her unconditionally. Matthew and Mary both dozed on and off during the rest of the afternoon, only awakening properly by a loud knock on the door.
Matthew got up, shifting the little girl off of his knee so he could see who was there. He opened the door and frowned slightly, Tom's Mother. They hadn't seen her in years, she'd never bothered with Sybbie and hardly wrote to Tom either. He was surprised that she had been told so quickly, it must've been the hospital as they wouldn't have told her anything. Not after the way she had abandoned Sybbie, her only granddaughter. He couldn't believe that she was on their doorstep after all these years.
"Where is she?!" She hissed, barging past him and heading towards the library. Matthew chased after her, not wanting to manhandle a woman but at the sametime he wanted her out of his home and away from his family. Matthew caught up to her and lightly pulled her to face him, anger illuminated his face. How dare she show up after all these years! How dare she do this after she abandoned his niece.
"What do you think you're playing at! Get out of my home! You aren't welcome here, you've never bothered with Sybbie and you sure as hell didn't bother with Tom!" He was shaking with anger, Mary heard the commotion and came running through the library door. She put her hand on Matthew's cheek and stared coldly at the woman, she disliked her as much as Matthew. She had been the one to listen to Tom's cries as he'd begged his mother to bother with Sybbie, who had begged for his mother when Sybil had died. She despised this woman.
"What are you doing here Moira?" She said coldly, trying to keep her voice down so as not to wake Sybbie who was only in the next room, it was no use. Sybbie came running out of the library, stopping herself as she looked on at the scene before her. She was confused, she'd never seen this woman before in her life. Moira lunged towards Sybbie, who took a step back in fear. Mary grabbed the woman in time and Matthew stood in front of Sybbie, protecting her from the chaos that was going on.
"That bitch got my son killed! That little brat got my son killed, I knew she was trouble the minute her mother was pregnant! I told Tom that he should've left while he had the chance!" Moira struggled in Mary's grip and it went completely silent. Matthew almost lunged for her himself, only stopping himself when he looked at Sybbie. She was catatonic, struggling to breathe and in the midst of shutting down.
Sybbie threw up all over the carpet, the only words she could hear in her head was 'all my fault... all my fault... all my fault' before everything went black.