Jennie

It was a Friday night and we were spending it the usual way - at a frat party with a bunch of drunken frat boys and sorority freaks of nature. I really don't understand how Doyeon managed to drag me to these things week after week. These were not our people. Our people were back at the dorms listening to Pink Floyd, "The Darkside of the Moon" and watching The Wizard of Oz while arguing over whether or not the last season of Dawson's Creek jumped the shark. (Pacey and Joey forever!) We did not belong with the crowd of trust fund babies that thought student loans had something to do with a foreign exchange student. As we made our way over to a portable bar on one side of the room, I could hear two completely wasted tools argue back and forth about who paid more for their Coach purse and who slept with the most guys last week. One of them claimed she was ashamed she brought the other to the party since she was wearing a pair of Louboutin's that were "so last year". These were the future leaders of our country, ladies and gentlemen. Christ, I felt like I was watching a live scene from "Heathers" ("I brought you to a Remington party and what's my thanks? It's on a hallway carpet. I got paid in puke."). Thankfully Doyeon interrupted me before I handed one of them a cup of liquid drainer.

"Oooh what about that one? He's cute. And he has good teeth," she announced excitedly as she tipped her head towards a guy in a sweater vest manning the keg.

"Jesus Doyeon, he's not a horse," I moaned, rolling my eyes and taking a sip of luke warm beer.

"But you could ride him all night long if you play your cards right," she said with a creepy used car salesman wink and a nudge with her shoulder.

"I'm concerned about you Doyeon. I really think you spend entirely too much time thinking about my hymen. You're secretly in love with me aren't you?"

"Don't flatter yourself," she replied distractedly as she scoped out more guys. "Come to think of it, I did bat for the other team in high school after one of Tom Corry's Friday night parties. We never got past second base though. Someone knocked on the bathroom we were in and it suddenly occurred to me that I liked penis," she mused.

I stared at her profile like she had two heads. Or her hand in a vagina. Why is it that I'm just now finding out my best friend went through a lesbian phase? Every time I look at her now I'm going to picture vagina-hand. A little hand that looks like a who-ha chasing me around the house and watching me while I sleep. Vagina hand is always watching. Vagina hand sees you.

Doyeon looked beyond my shoulder and then leaned in closer. "Two tangos staring at us at your six."

I rolled my eyes again and sighed at the attempt Doyeon was making to be covert.

"Five bucks says free drinks will be ours if we play our cards right," she said conspiratorially.

"Doyeon, we're surrounded by kegs of beer and we were handed a plastic cup when we walked in. I'm pretty sure that equals free booze," I told her, holding up my red Solo cup in front of her as a reminder.

"Oh shut it. You're ruining the moment. If we were at a bar right now, they'd totally be buying us drinks."

"If we were legal."

"Details," she scoffed with a wave of her ominous vagina hand.

She fluffed up her hair, and then pulled the front of her shirt down lower so she showed enough cleavage to blind a man.

"Doyeon, if you sneeze there's going to be a nip slip. Put those things away before you poke an eye out."

"They're coming over!" she squealed, batting my hands away as I tried to pull her shirt back up to cover the twins.

"Jesus, is there a homing beacon on those things?" I muttered. I shook my head in amazement at the power that was her boobs. "Your tits are like Bounty. The quicker dick picker upper," I muttered as I finally turned around to get a look at who was coming over. I'm pretty sure to an outsider I looked like Elmer Fudd when he saw Bugs Bunny dressed up like a girl and his eyes popped out of his head and his heart stretched out the front of his shirt. If the music weren't so loud you would be able to hear "ARRROOOOOOGA!"

"Hello there ladies."

Doyeon not so subtly elbowed me when the one that looked like a linebacker spoke. I briefly raised my eyebrows at the shirt he wore that strained against the muscles of his chest and read "I'm not a gynecologist but I'll take a look." My attention immediately focused on the one standing next to him with her hands in her pockets. The long-sleeved t-shirt she wore with the sleeves pushed up to her elbows hugged her body nicely and I could see the subtle outline of muscles in her chest and arms. They were nothing compared to Hooked on Steroids standing next to her, but they were perfect to me. I wanted her to turn around so I could see how great her ass looked in the well-worn jeans she had on. Unlike a lot of the college guys around here who were going through some sort of weird Justin Bieber-hair phase, this guy kept her light brown hair cut short, shoulder lenght. She wasn't too tall, wasn't too short, she was just right. And just… beautiful. I wanted to punch my own face for calling her beautiful but it was true. She was so pretty I wanted to frame her and put her on my nightstand in a totally non-creepy, non-Hannibal Lector skin-suit-wearing kind of way. She looked bored and like she'd rather be anywhere but at this party. Before I could introduce myself and tell her she was my soul mate, someone bumped into me roughly from behind and I stumbled forward, smacking gracefully into her chest and spilling my beer all over the floor at our feet.

Holy hell she smelled good. Like girl and cinnamon and a tiny hint of cologne that made me want to rub my nose in her shirt and take a deep breath. Okay, so that might have thrown me back into creepy territory. I didn't want her to start calling me the shirt sniffer. That's a nickname that just doesn't go away. Like vagina hand.

Her hands flew out of her pockets and grabbed onto my arms to steady me while I was busy trying not to motorboat her tee shirt and flee the scene in mortification. I heard the sound of cackling laughter behind me and turned to see that one of the Heathers was responsible for my graceful entrance into this guy's life. It turns out slamming into someone is hilarious and her equally offensive twin joined in on the finger pointing and laughing.

What is this, a bad teen movie from the nineties? Did they expect me to cry and go running out of the room while dramatic music played over my exit?

"Jesus, what's your damage Heather?" a beautiful voice said irritably.

Their laughter immediately stopped and they looked behind me in confusion. I whipped my head around and stared at this person in awe, noticing that I still had my hands pressed against her chest and that I could feel the heat from her skin through her thin t-shirt.

"Did you just quote 'Heathers'?" I whispered. "That is my favorite movie ever."

She looked down at me and smiled, the piercing brown of her eyes boring a hole right through me.

"I had a huge crush on Winona Ryder before the whole shoplifting thing," she said with a shrug, her hands still wrapped around my upper arms.

"My name isn't Heather," a whiny voice protested behind me.

"Wow, Winona Ryder," I stated with a nod of my head.

Jesus, I had absolutely no game. Being in close proximity to a person this hot turned my brain to mush. I just wanted to hear her speak again. Her voice made me want to take my pants off.

"I kind of have a thing for quirky, intelligent, dark-haired chicks," she said with a smile.

"Why did she call me Heather? She knows my name is Niki," came the shrill voice from behind me again.

I'm a quirky, intelligent, dark haired chick! Me, me, me, pick me! And who the hell keeps whining and ruining my perfect moment? I will cut a bitch.

"Um, hellloooo!"

The love of my dreams broke eye contact with me to look over my shoulder. "Niki, your voice is making my ears bleed and killing my buzz."

I heard Niki huff and storm off. At least I think that's what she did. I was still staring at this person and wondering how soon was too soon to drag her into a spare bedroom. She looked back at me and removed one of her hands from my arms to brush my bangs out of my eyes with her fingers. The simplicity of the action and the ease in which she performed it made it feel as though she'd done it a thousand times before. I wanted to slyly give Doyeon a big cheesy grin and a thumb's up but she was busy talking to this guy's friend a few feet away.

"You want to go refill your drink, maybe play a game of beer pong or something?"

I want to reach in my pants, pull out my virginity, wrap it up and put a bow on it. Or maybe stick it in a gift bag from Target and give it to her like a present with a nice card that says "Thank you for being you! Just a little virginity to show you my gratitude!"

"Sure," I replied with a shrug, totally playing it cool. It's probably best to play a little hard to get. You don't want to look too eager.

--

"Oh God, don't stop," I panted as she kissed a trail down my neck and fumbled clumsily with the button of my jeans. After five rounds of beer pong and hours of talking, laughing and standing so close to her that it soon became impossible to refrain from touching her, I forgot the meaning of "hard to get". With a boldness I could only achieve through copious amounts of alcohol, I wrapped a hand behind her neck after losing the last round, pulled her to me, and kissed her with everything I had in me in front of all the people still left at the party that hadn't yet passed out in a pile of their own vomit. I grabbed her hand and dragged her down the hallway and shoved her into the first room we came to. I hoped Doyeon would have been close by to give me some sort of encouragement or last minute pointers about what I was about to do, but she disappeared after I announced to the room that she would be giving free PAP tests at the end of the night with her lesbian approved hand.

As soon as we got into the dark room we attacked each other. Sloppy, drunken kisses, hands groping all over the place, slamming into random furniture as we stumbled and laughed our way to the bed. I tripped over something on the floor that may or may not have been a person and fell backwards, luckily onto the bed, dragging the guy right along with me. She landed roughly on top of me and it felt like the wind was knocked out of me.

"Shit, sssorry. You'kay?" She slurred as she pushed herself up on her arms, taking some of her weight off of me.

"Yep, good," I wheezed. "Now take your clothes off."

I was so buzzed I almost laughed when she dragged herself off me and took her pants and boxer briefs off. The moonlight shining through the bedroom window provided just enough illumination for me to see what she was doing even though the alcohol coursing through my veins made her look like she was on a tilt-a-whirl. She pushed everything down to her ankles without bending her knees, then stood up and shuffled back to the bed. Thankfully, the miniscule part of my brain that hadn't yet been taken over by beer and tequila shots reminded me it was never a good idea to laugh at someone when she took her pants off. It was just so funny though! I've seen plenty of penises before, just not in living color and two feet from my body. That thing stuck straight out and was pointing right at me. I swear, in my head I could hear the penis talking.

"Aaarrrggg, ahoy me matey, thars a great grand vagina over yonder."

Penises talk like pirates when I'm drunk. Probably because Doyeon calls them one-eyed snakes. And pirates wear patches and only have one eye and...holy shit, Captain Hookpenis was coming closer.

I should probably focus.

She crawled on top of me and kissed me, her scallywag bumping into my leg. This time I did laugh, pulling my mouth away from her and giggling until I snorted. I was drunk as shit, thinking about walking the plank and there was a penis smacking against my thigh in a strange bedroom that may or may not have a dead person on the floor. How can you not chortle like a schoolgirl at that shit? She was oblivious to my convulsions of laughter as she moved her head to the side and kissed my neck. And Jeeeeeeesus if that didn't sober me up long enough to realize how good it felt.

"Ohhhhh yesssssssss," I moaned out loud, surprising myself that I'd actually vocalized the words that were sloshing around in my fuzzy, beer-addled brain.

Her lips moved up to the spot right behind my ear and when her tongue slid lightly against the skin there, it shot a tingle right between my legs that surprised me. My hands moved up to clutch onto her hair and hold her head in place. I didn't really think anything about this night was going to feel good. It was all about getting this crap out of the way, enjoying myself was a small perk I didn't expect. After a few minutes of fumbling with my jeans, she finally got them unbuttoned and yanked them down my legs, taking my underwear with them. Her hands slid up the sides of my body, taking my shirt with them until it was pulled over my head and tossed in the general direction of my jeans. The liquid courage reignited long enough for me to take off my bra and fling it to the side, the sound of the material smacking into the wall making me realize I was now lying on a bed completely naked with someone kneeling between my legs, staring down at all I had to offer.

Oh my God. This is really happening. I'm naked in front of her. Am I really going to do this?

"Jesus, you're so fucking beautiful."

Yes, the answer is yes! If she keeps talking to me like that she can stick it in my ear.

She let her eyes roam over my body and then quickly yanked her shirt off and threw it across the room. My hands automatically reached up to her chest so I could touch her as she sunk back down on top of me. Her chest was hard and her skin was smooth. I touched every inch of her I could reach. I wrapped my hands around the back of her neck and pulled her down to me and kissed her. She tasted like tequila and sunshine. Despite our inebriated states, I was enjoying her kisses. Now that we were naked and in bed, they weren't so frantic. They were actually soft and sweet and made me sigh a little into her mouth. She pulled one of my legs up and wrapped it around her hip and I could feel the head of her penis right at my opening.

Oh shit, this is it. This is really happening. And why am I talking to myself when I have my tongue in someone's mouth and she's getting ready to stick her penis in me?

Oh my God …

Even though I was drunk as a skunk at the time, I still remembered what happened after that. Less than two seconds later she was inside me and I was waving good-bye to my virginity. I wanted it to last forever. I saw stars, came three times that night and it was the most beautiful experience of my life.

Yeah right. Are you kidding me? Have you lost your virginity lately? It hurts like a mother effer and it's awkward and messy. Anyone that tells you she had anything even close to resembling an orgasm during the actual event itself is a lying sack of shit. The only stars I saw were the ones behind my eyelids as I squeezed them shut and waited for it to be over.

But let's be honest here, this is exactly how I expected it to be. It's not her fault it wasn't anything to write home about. She was as sweet and gentle as she could possibly be with me considering the amount of alcohol we consumed during the night. We were both drunk as hell and I lost my virginity to someone whose name I didn't know because I didn't want any distractions and I didn't have time for a relationship. With the state of my virginity out of the way, I could focus more on school and my career and Doyeon would stop treating every party we went to like a meat market. It went exactly according to my plan. That is, until my period was a week late and I realized I ate an entire loaf of bread and seven sticks of string cheese while I sat at the kitchen table looking at the calendar and wishing I'd paid more attention to math in kindergarten because there was no fucking way I counted right.