The world started to come back to her slowly. The sound of the tv filled her ears but her brain was not comprehending what was actually being said. Slowly blinking her eyes open she is greeted with the tv going, the living room full of light thanks to the window curtains being open. The world was vertical and it took her sleep rattled mind a moment to come to the realization she fell asleep on the couch while she had been sitting with Izuku. And now she was laying out on the couch. Her head propped up on a pillow, or she had thought it was a pillow till the pillow moved. Something pressed slightly into the back of her head and curled around her. Turning her head slightly up she was greeted with bright green eyes and an innocent wide smile.
"Good morning. Again," Izuku greeted her with a wide smile as he looked down at her. For a second all she could do was slowly blink her eyes as she looked up at him and forced her mind to process that her head was in Izuku's lap. And that was where she had apparently been asleep for an unknown amount of time.
She flushed a little before she slowly and rather carefully pushed her sore and complaining body to sit up and get off of the man's lap. She wished to try and ignore the fact that she had just used Izuku's lap as her own personal pillow while she had been sleeping.
"What time is it?" She asked, giving a soft yawn. Her body still felt tired. Was it the pain, depression or the lack of decent sleep lately that caused the constant exhaustion? Honestly she felt it was probably everything. The nightmares lately, the struggle of sleeping in that bed, and her body no longer able to sleep on the floor like she had as a teen. Mixed with the emotional exhaustion and her body's physical pain, she felt like she just wished to shut down and sleep till it all went away.
"Oh uhm a little after fourteen hundred hours," Izuku said simply as he watched the woman yawn and softly rub at the sleep still in her eyes. But by the blank look she gave him it seemed she didn't understand the time he had given.
"Uhm just after two in the afternoon," he corrected himself when he realized she did not comprehend the first time he had given. Seemed she was still more asleep than awake in that given moment as she slowly nodded her head then frowned.
"I slept all morning away," she grumbled to herself apparently a little unhappy with learning she had lost half the day. Izuku felt a little guilty for not having woken her up sooner. But it seemed that she really needed that sleep. He had noticed the start of bags under her eyes and had heard her on more than one night being awake at ungodly hours.
"Sorry. It just seemed like you really needed that nap," Izuku said softly as he fidgeted with his fingers as if she was scolding him.
"You shouldn't apologize for everything. Honestly I probably would have bit a finger off of you if you tried to wake me up. I don't wake up well from naps," she said, waving one hand as if to brush away his apology.
"If anything I should be the one to apologize. You let me use your lap as a pillow. You had to miss lunch due to not being able to move," she said as she shifted to melt into the couch more and a little bit away from Izuku.
"Oh you don't need to apologize. I could have just gotten up if I really needed to. And I'm used to skipping lunch or eating it later from my patrol hours. So it's okay," Izuku was quick to start shaking his head at her as she apologized. What a sugar cookie.
Izuku had no issues being stuck sitting on the couch for hours. He watched an old All Might documentary while she had been sleeping. And had used black whip to get himself a drink any time he was thirsty. Though he did need to use the washroom now. Which did make him happy she was finally awake.
"Are you hungry? Thirsty?" Izuku said, suddenly jumping to his feet as he realized that if he had missed that last meal so had she. And she had been asleep. She may be thirsty.
"You worry too much, mister hero. I am fine," she said once again waving off his concern.
"Alright. Well I will be right back," Izuku said, still not looking convinced as he moved to the kitchen and turned the kettle on. Maybe she would still like a cup of warm tea? He knew he would. And while waiting for the water to warm he rushed off to the washroom to relieve himself before returning to the kitchen and making two cups of tea.
By the time Izuku had returned to the living room Aoi had scooped up the tv remote and was flipping through the shows looking for something to watch. Those milk chocolate eyes glanced at him before looking back to the tv before landing on some action movie to watch.
"Hope you don't mind. I switched the channel. Documentaries on heroes are not exactly a favorite of mine," she said, trying to keep her face from scrunching up at the word hero. The more time Izuku spent with her the more clear it was how much she really did seem to hate hero's. And yet she still did not treat him with any of that disdain. And yet still he was curious what caused such a deep rooted hatred for hero's?
Did this tie back to her connection to Dabi? Though he could not remember ever hearing anything about her. She had not been part of the war, had not been mentioned as an accomplice. Yet he knew very well that she knew the villain Dabi. But how did she know him?
"Izuku you're mumbling," she said simply as she took one of the cups of warm tea from his hands as he stood there in his own head and thinking to himself.
"Oh sorry," he said blushing heavily as he realized he may have just asked all these questions out loud.
"If you have questions just ask them," she said simply trying not to let there be a bite to her words. But it still came out harder than she planned as she watched the man look like she just kicked his puppy.
"No it's okay. It's not fair for me to pry," he said before he started to shuffle back to his spot on the couch.
"You're wondering why I hate hero's so much? And if Dabi had a part in that," she said, showing that Izuku had indeed voiced his questions outloud and that she had indeed heard them too.
"Yeah. But like I said I don't wanna pry," he said watching her as she winced but still forced her knees up to her chest even though it seemed to hurt her. Her arms wrapped around her legs and held the warm cup of tea as her eyes looked at the cup but clearly were not actually seeing the cup.
"How many people do you see on the street who could use help? But because it's not something inherently evil or a villain is actively doing something bad you just walk past?" She asked. And had she actually been able to look at the man beside her she would have seen him wince. Izuku had learned from the war that most villains were not born evil but were made that way.
"Too many," he answered honestly. But she appreciates that answer.
"I lived in the streets alone for over three years. I can't even count how many times hero's walked past me. And never once did someone try to offer help. Or look at me with anything other than disgust. That was the start of the hatred," she said, actually trying to think if she had the exact time right. It had been hard to keep track of days without any way of getting a hold of a calendar or a cell phone. Days, weeks and months had all blended together both at the time and in her memories.
"The day I met the man you know as Todoroki Touya. I had been looking for food like any day, but in an area I shouldn't have been. There are unspoken rules like that for the street scum. I remember a man undoing his belt before the screams had started and I will never forget the smell of burnt flesh. Dabi killed the man who was most likely going to rape and kill me. Finally, for once in my life someone helped me. I could not see him as a villain. Even if he did kill someone in front of me. But more so he did it for me. To this day I don't know why he did it," she said, feeling a hiccup wrench its way up her throat as she struggled with the emotions that flooded her.
"He threatened to kill me too. But I am pretty sure back then I would have welcomed it without a second thought. But he didn't. Even after I instantly clung to him. No matter how much he yelled at me I still followed him like a lost puppy. Maybe he took pity on me? One street urchin to another. After an hour he just ignored me. He slept on the streets too at the time, or wherever he could find. But with his strong fire quirk no one messed with him. It had been amazing being able to sleep peacefully with him around," she said as she felt her hands shaking as she nearly had a white knuckle hold of the poor cup in her hands.
Izuku could do nothing but remain speechless as he sat there listening as Aoi poured her past out for him. It answered so many questions he had yet it was wrenching out his own heart listening to her speak.
"That was before he met Shigaraki or the League of Villains. We lived together with me following him around for a while, I think it was a year or so before he met the League and changed. During that year he taught me how to steal so I didn't starve to death. He pushed me to get a part time job. I didn't mind. I got one. With his help we rented a dingy one room apartment that barely fit two futons and did not even have a bathroom or kitchen. Just a little counter and sink in the corner that I used as a kitchen. But it was my first home in years. At first Dabi would spend most nights there with me. I'm sure it broke all sorts of rules, a twenty something year old man living with a girl who was fourteen if I was even that old at the time. But we didn't care. It was a roof over our heads and was warm in the winter," she sniffles softly at the memory of the old apartment that was probably no bigger than the bathroom in this current apartment. But it had been her first home that she paid for herself. It didn't matter if they had to use a communal toilet for their floor to share and had to use a public bathhouse to wash.
"At first things seemed so perfect. A home I could finally return to every day. Dabi often checking in and crashing himself. It had felt so nice. But it did not last. He met the league of villains shortly after. But I did not know this at first. He stopped coming home every night. I would see him only once or twice a week. Which at first was okay. I did not question it. Nor his anger flaring up more often. He never hurt me so I never feared him. But I did find it annoying. Dabi never liked to talk much. Never told me anything he was doing. I learned about the league simply because I had followed him once," that drew a broken laugh from her.
"Oh he had been mad about that when I walked into that run down bar. I thought Shigaraki was going to kill me. He made it clear he had no need for a quirkless kid. But a lot of the other league members were nice. I met Toga a few times. She was around the same age as me so maybe that's why we both wanted to be friends? She was weird and a little creepy. But still nice enough. I saw her a lot more than Dabi some times. She had a tendency of just showing up at my home whenever she wanted. I never complained though. She even brought Twice a few times. Dabi hated it. Now I know it was because he did not want me involved with the league. He was still trying to protect me," deciding to let go of the cup before she broke it. She placed it on the coffee table in front of her before returning to curl up into herself even as her body screamed in pain at the action. But the pain was helpful in keeping her grounded as she told someone for the first time about this part of her past.
"Maybe it was because I was weak and quirkless, or maybe it was because he always planned from the start to kill himself while trying to kill his father and brother? I don't know and probably never will. Then suddenly the entire league one day just disappeared. I now know it was due to the events that followed the Kamino ward incident and what led to the war that followed less than a year later. I saw Dabi once or twice after but then he just seemed to drop off the face of the world. At the time I saw the news. I had heard how the league attacked UA and even kidnapped a kid. I figured they all went into hiding. It would have been the smart thing to do. I just assumed Dabi would eventually come home. I wish I would have known how wrong I had been," this time she couldn't hold back the broken sob she let out as she buried her face into her knees to attempt to hide the tears running down her cheeks. Picking her head up after taking a shaky breath she turned to look at Izuku through blurry vision.
"I never got to say goodbye," she broke saying the words out loud for the first time. The sobs seemed uncontrollable as she sat there unable to make out Izuku's expression with her blurry vision as she felt herself shatter. She could feel the warm arms wrap around her. She could hear Izuku trying to sooth her. Even as she grabbed at him and buried her face into his shirt as she couldn't help the wail she let out.
Had she meant to spill everything like that? Not exactly. Nor had she meant to become so emotional. The crying was embarrassing but once she started she could not stop. She clung to Izuku sobbing as she struggled with the words she had just spoken out loud. She had not planned to make Izuku uncomfortable. She could feel a hand on her back rubbing circles in an attempt to try and sooth her. He spoke softly but with the pounding in her head from her own heartbeat she could not hear him clearly.
Izuku could do nothing but whisper soft soothing words of comfort to her as he let her cry her heart out on his shoulder. This bit of insight to her life answered a lot of questions he had. She had been failed by hero's to be saved. Instead a villain had done the job and been her hero. That would have been the first issue. Then imagining that she would later learn that Dabi died fighting with hero's. It would only make hero's look like villains to her. Her personal hero was killed by someone who she saw as the bad guy. It did not matter if Dabi was evil and killed people. He was her hero and that would probably never change. In her eyes, hero's killed the most important person to her. It was honestly surprising that she did not kill him that night he had stumbled into her bedroom hurt and bleeding out. She knew who he was.
And she had to know he played a large part in the war as did his fellow classmates. Izuku would be lying if he didn't admit that the realization of how easily she could have killed him or left him for dead was gut wrenching. He was incredibly lucky she had decided to save him that night. It was a very sobering thought. Cause that night even if danger sense warned him of her he would never have been able to survive her attack. Even being quirkless, she could have grabbed a kitchen knife and stabbed him if she wanted to. Or smothered him in his sleep that first night. It did make him wonder why she saved him if she truly hated hero's so much? But he was not going to ask that question today. No he would try his best to comfort her at this moment and be a shoulder to cry on.
And cry she did. Her eyes ached, her head pounded with a new veracity, her throat felt raw, she was pretty sure she was all out of tears by the time she had finally calmed down enough to stop wailing like a child. She wanted to groan at herself. How embarrassing. That had not been a simple little cry. No, that had been a long, painful ugly cry. She had not wailed like that since she had seen the newscast showing Dabi kill himself while he had been fighting with Endeavor and Shoto.
Her body shook softly but she was finally able to start breathing again. But she kept her face buried in Izuku's wet shirt. She was pretty sure the material was soaked in her tears, spit and snot. It was kind of gross to have her face smashed up against the mixture of fluids. But she was still too embarrassed to pull away. Her hands had grabbed fistfuls of his shirt that she was white knuckling as if he too may disappear if she were to let go. But the muscles in her hands and arms were cramping up under the stress. Yet her hands felt locked up. She could not get them to even loosen their grip a little.
The room fell silent as Izuku just continued to wait. Even after the crying had seemed to subside. He still did not try to rush her, talk to her or even do anything but softly rub her back. He waited till she made the first move. And that first move was her grip on his shirt finally coming loose. She did not completely let go of his shirt but she finally got enough control of herself to loosen the grip and allow blood to return to her hands. She was now just softly sniffling as the house fell otherwise silent.
"Thank you," was the barely audible whisper she mumbled into his wet t-shirt as she still clung to him, not sure if she wanted to let him go.
"Please do not thank me," was the almost broken sounding words that ended up mumbled into her hair as the two held each other till Aoi finally pulled away and forced herself to her feet even as Izuku tried to help her but she asked to be left alone as she limped her way to the bathroom so she could blow her nose, and attempt to wash the evidence off of her face of the crying she had done.