It's going to be a long, long tour.

They haven't even played their first show yet and two guitar players have already quit on her. Bucky made it sound like it's her fault, like no one will ever be good enough for her, but it's not true. She knows what she wants, that's all. Well, what she really wants is in Austin right now, touring with The Revel Kings, but that's another story. What she knows she does not want is Michael who had no interest in what they're doing here and was off doing his own thing. She couldn't care less he'd toured with Brad and Keith.

Bucky found her a temporary replacement for tomorrow's show while they'll keep looking for the permanent one Rayna will deem worthy of filling Deacon's boots.

—

Rayna can hear Telescope blasting through the arena, and she doesn't like that. It means Juliette is still in the middle of her soundcheck even though she was supposed to be done 15 minutes ago.

"Have you decided about going home tomorrow?" Bucky asks. He's walking by her side as they head to the stage. "We're holding you a ticket, but we need to confirm or cancel by midnight."

"Cancel," Rayna says. She'd planned to go back to Nashville for election night, but after yesterday's call with Teddy, she'd changed her mind. He didn't sound like he was eager to have her there anyway. "I don't want to talk about it," she adds just as she and Bucky reach the stage. Juliette, as she'd anticipated, is still up there and not looking like she'll be done anytime soon. "What is that girl still doing onstage?" It's their first soundcheck, and her co-headliner is already late. Yes, it's going to be a long, long tour.

"I don't know," Bucky sighs. He glances at his watch, annoyed. "I'll go look for Glenn."

As he leaves in search of Juliette's manager, Rayna finds herself alone, waiting by the side of the stage. A few feet to her left, she notices two guys talking. She recognizes one of them as the reporter who's been following Juliette around for the last few days. Thomas... something. Or Tobin. She can't remember. He's doing a story on Juliette for Tremelo from what Rayna heard.

She isn't close enough to hear the whole conversation, but she catches snippets of it. Thomas or Tobin is complaining to a roadie that he didn't get the article he wanted.

"Instead I'm stuck here with Miss Shoplifting," Rayna hears him say, and she smiles. She likes him already.

"Who's doing the Revel Kings cover story then?" the roadie asks.

"Carmen Gonzales."

And just like that, Rayna's smile drops.

There are few people on earth Rayna likes less than Carmen Gonzales. It dates back to when she and Deacon were starting out. Carmen used to have a thing for Deacon and always found a way to hang out with their group of friends, outrageously flirting with Deacon right in front of her. It drove Rayna mad.

Rayna commiserates with Tobin. She, too, is stuck here with Miss Shoplifting while Deacon is on tour with one of the biggest rock'n'roll bands in the world and Carmen Freaking Gonzales.

It's great. Just great.

—

The first show doesn't end up being a total disaster. Considering the circumstances, it's nothing short of a miracle.

The next day is a travel day, and when the buses pull into the venue a little after 9pm, a car is waiting, ready to take Rayna to the hotel.

She spends the whole ride texting back and forth with her daughters. The results of the mayoral race are supposed to be announced any minute now, and both girls are overexcited. Especially Maddie who claims that Teddy possibly becoming the new mayor has made her popular. Rayna feels a little insulted.

Just when she's opening the door of the penthouse suite, she gets a salvo of texts with more exclamation marks than words.

Dad won!

She smiles, mostly because her girls are happy, and when her babies are happy, she's happy. She feels like she probably should be happy for Teddy, too. Probably.

Her bags have already been brought up to the suite, and so she takes a shower, puts on comfy clothes and pours herself a drink. She turns the TV on just as they're airing Coleman's concession speech. He's thanking his beautiful wife Audrey and saying that win or lose, none of this would have mattered if he didn't have her to come home to every single night. Rayna feels the urgent need to turn the TV off.

After a few more drinks, she grabs her phone again. She opens Deacon's conversation on her messaging app and starts typing.

If you're not in the middle of fucking Carmen right now, could you give me a call?

She's drunk enough to find it funny but, thank God, not drunk enough to hit send. She deletes the unsent message and types again.

Hey.

This time, she sends it. Deacon isn't known to be a fast replier, but when it's been 15 minutes and she doesn't get any response, she gets annoyed. She leaves her phone on the couch and gets up to pour herself a couple more drinks.

After that, she does something actually stupid. She checks Deacon's tour schedule, then checks her tour schedule and when she finds a date that works, she buys herself plane tickets.

—

To say he's surprised to see her is the understatement of the year.

She didn't warn him she was coming, she only managed to find the name of the hotel the band is staying in and Deacon's room number. Well, Bucky managed to find it for her.

"Rayna?" he asks as he opens the door. She sees his face change. "Is everything alright?"

"Oh, yeah, don't worry," she's quick to reassure him. It hurts a little that his first guess as to why she might be here is that something must be wrong.

"What are you doing here?"

"I..." she starts, and for a second she ponders coming up with some elaborate story, but then she knows Deacon would see right through it. She opts for honesty. "I missed you." Whatever the state of their relationship, this is the longest they've ever spent without seeing or talking to each other.

There's a silence, and she realizes he still hasn't invited her in. It occurs to her it might be because he's not alone. As if he can read her mind, he moves aside. "Oh, sorry, come on in."

She steps in, and when she sees the room is empty, she lets out a little sigh of relief.

—

It's new for her to be standing on the side of the stage, a pass around her neck, while Deacon is doing soundcheck. The whole experience is a bit surreal. He's amazing, of course, and she hopes the band knows how lucky they are to have him.

She's focused on Deacon, and so she doesn't notice someone coming from behind to stand next to her. It's the voice which startles her. "Rayna."

"Carmen."

Not having seen her around yet, Rayna had held hope she might have finished writing her article already. So much for that.

"It's been..."

Not long enough Rayna wants to say, but she refrains. "A while."

"Yeah, a while. I'm surprised to see you here. I thought you were on tour with..."

Rayna knows the pause isn't because Carmen doesn't remember Juliette's name, it's only to make her say it. "Juliette Barnes."

"Right, Juliette Barnes. How's that going?"

"Every day is a joy," Rayna deadpans. This makes Carmen smirk.

"I heard you had trouble finding a new lead guitarist. Looks like Deacon is hard to replace."

She wonders where Carmen heard about that. Tobin might have blabbed. "I just want the best of the best."

To Rayna's relief, the band seems to be done with soundcheck, and she sees Deacon hand his guitar to a crew member and walk their way. He's got a smug smile on. He knows what she thinks of Carmen.

"This," he says, waging a finger at the two of them, "is a sight I hadn't seen in..."

"...a while," both women finish for him.

Carmen, who doesn't seem to be a fan of this situation either, pretends to check her phone and then excuses herself.

Rayna knows Deacon is about to make some snarky comment when Cy interrupts them. "Deac," he says, entirely ignoring Rayna, "during your lead on Need Me tonight, rock with me, man. Put on a show."

"I thought I was."

"Well, more. Perform, you know? Bring it."

"You want me to jump around and make faces?" Deacon asks in typical Deacon Claybourne fashion.

"No, man, all I'm saying is this is rock'n'roll, this ain't Rayna Jaymes." Cy turns to Rayna. "No offense."

"Some taken," Rayna says, and it makes Deacon smile.

"I know you'll get there," Cy tells Deacon before he gives him a condescending clap on the shoulder and walks away.

"I'm sure you miss your old boss now," Rayna jokes.

"Oh, you have no idea."

—

They find a diner not far from the arena, and since all tables are taken, they sit next to each other at the counter.

They spend the next hour catching up with each other. He asks her what it's like to have a number one with Juliette Barnes, and she asks him what it's like joining one of the biggest rock'n'roll bands in the world.

"Loud," he says, and she bursts out laughing.

"I've been meaning to ask you this since I saw you, but... what's with the hair?"

"What about it?"

"I don't know, it's really..." She gestures with her hands trying to explain what she means, "...high."

"The higher the hair, the closer to God?"

She laughs again, and without thinking, she reaches out to run her hand through it until she remembers she isn't supposed to do that. Deacon doesn't seem to mind.

She pulls her hand back, and she stares at her cup of coffee on the counter. There's a beat. "So... Carmen," she says.

Deacon smirks. "Yes, Carmen."

"What is she doing here?" she asks, pretending not to know, pretending Carmen isn't what triggered her to fly all the way here in the first place.

"She's doing a cover story on, you know, the new version of the band."

"Has she, uh, done an in-depth interview with you yet?" This time, she's looking straight at him.

He doesn't blink. "No, Ray. But it's not like she hasn't been... trying."

Rayna clears her throat. "And you... don't want to?"

"You know how much I love talking about myself."

She smiles at that. Oh, yes, she does.

—

He's looking good up there. It's not what she's used to see him wearing on stage, but the blue t-shirt, the black pants and vest are really working for him. When they were walking backstage earlier, he'd gotten stopped twice by groups of fans to sign autographs. All women, she'd noticed. Not that it was something she was supposed to notice.

As she's watching the show, she can't help but think how it's the complete opposite of the kind of tour she and Deacon were supposed to do. She wonders if it's in part why Deacon chose to join The Revel Kings. To cut ties. To start anew.

"You shouldn't be here."

Rayna jumps at the voice, and really, Carmen needs to stop sneaking up on her like that. "Oh, yeah?"

"You should let him go," Carmen insists. Rayna's tried that already, and it hasn't proved very successful. "He's doing great," she adds before she walks away again.

—

Rayna's leaning against the wall, making small talk with a woman named Morgan whose tattoos cover almost every inch of her skin, when the band make their way back into the dressing room.

"Deac! You killed it tonight, man," Kent raves, and Rayna can only agree.

Deacon spots her as soon as he gets in, and he walks straight to her. "You were amazing," she confirms as they hug.

"Thanks."

The other members banter back and forth with him then, and to anyone who doesn't know Deacon as well as she does, it might sound like he belongs to this kind of life, but something's off. She's noticed that all day. Carmen may think she knows him, but she doesn't. There's an edge to Deacon's put-on charm.

When Deacon whispers in Rayna's ear and they leave together, she spots Carmen watching them from the corner of the room.

—

They walk back to the hotel. If Deacon hadn't suggested it, she would have been the one to. It gives them a little more time together.

It's a 40-minute walk, and yet, they get to the hotel way too soon for her liking.

Her room's on the fourth floor, and when the elevator doors open, she's supposed to get out. That's where they are supposed to part ways, pretend they're fine going back to a life without the other in it.

Neither of them is surprised when the doors close again and she's still in the elevator.

Next thing she knows, he's kissing her, her back pressed against the elevator wall. All in all, it's probably the least surprising thing that's happened today. It feels way — way, way — too good for her to remember she shouldn't be doing that.

It's only when they're in his room that reality sets back in all of a sudden. What is she doing?

"No, wait, wait, wait, I—" She pulls off him, makes him sit at one end of the couch while she sits at the other end. She needs to put a little distance between them to think clearly.

When she looks at him again, he's smiling, and it's not helping. It's not helping at all. "We put hundreds of miles between us, and it didn't work, Ray. I'm not sure this," he says, gesturing at the space between them, "is going to."

"Help me here, Deacon," she pleads. She sounds almost desperate.

He shakes his head. "No."

"No?"

"You're the one who keeps saying that you need to let me go, that I need to go see what's around the next bend in the river, some crap like that, but then you are the one who flew all the way here."

"Deac—"

"I love you, Ray. That's just never not been true. You can do with that what you will, but it's one thing that will never change."

"Deacon," she whispers because, really, she's run out of willpower to keep fighting this. It's been a long time coming, and in the end, surrender is inevitable. We're all we've been missing, if we could just stop resisting, they've been singing to each other for years.

He's laid his cards down, poured his heart out, the next move is hers. She gets up, and she could still walk out of this room if she chose to, but she walks toward him. She extends her hand to him. He takes it, and together they head to the bedroom.

—

If this is wrong, she doesn't ever want to be right.

She'd had dreams lately, pretty vivid ones, but none compare to the real thing. He's hovering over her when he stops all of a sudden like he, too, is overwhelmed by the magnitude of the moment.

"Baby," he huffs, grinning down at her, and he hasn't called her this in such a long time.

"I know," she marvels before he starts moving again.

In her dreams, he always tells her how much he's missed this, but here he doesn't need to. She knows he's missed this as fucking much as she has. She knows it won't be a one-time thing. It's never just going to be one night with him.

With them, it's always going to be all or nothing.

—

They don't sleep because sleep feels like such a waste of time when they know they'll have to part ways — at least for a while — tomorrow morning. They've wasted so much time already. Years, really. They don't get dressed either because that, too, sounds like a waste of time.

They raid the — non-alcoholic — content of his minibar and they bring everything back to bed.

"Babe?" she asks.

"Yeah?"

"Are you happy on this tour?"

He pops the can of Pringles open. "You already know the answer to that."

"You were amazing on that stage."

"I can be amazing anywhere, it's not what's going to make me happy. You know that."

She knows that if she asked him, he'd hop up on a plane with her as soon as tomorrow, but she also knows she has two daughters and a husband, and that there's going to be a road of pain and tears and anger she's going to have to walk down before they can be together. It's hard to reconcile this with how happy she feels right at this moment.

"There are things I need to... before we..."

"Hey," he says, and he leans over to kiss her. "I know," he reassures her. "I can wait." There's a pause before he adds, "I've been doing that for 14 years."