He felt a desperate whine creeping up his throat, and was nearly unable to hold it back.

Donnie had gone out with Leo, the two of them hadn't been back when they promised, and Mike was scared. They'd just gotten Leo back from- from there, everything had just gotten better, and now he was-

He was gone again.

He was gone, again, again, he had to find him, had to help, had to do something, had to-

Had to run, find him!

He barely felt his feet move as he departed from the kitchen. All he felt was desperate as he sped towards the door, all he had to do was go out and go look, he had to find them-

He was being held back.

Why was he being held back?!

He kicked at the unknown force, first forward then backward, and when he'd kicked backwards he felt the force give a little. So he continued flailing and hitting and kicking in hopes of throwing the force away, because he had to go look-

"Mikey! Mike, we're all okay, we're - ow - all safe, don't worry!"

It was a voice that just barely cut through his frantic thoughts, but it didn't feel rational at all, because nothing was at that moment. All he knew was he had to go look and make sure his brothers were alright, or else he'd have failed again, and he couldn't-

"Please, Mike, stop fightin' me!"

But he couldn't stop, not when the door was right there and the missing twins hadn't come back through yet. He had to look, dammit-

"They're alright! They're just a little behind schedule, the both of 'em will be back soon! Just please, Mike-"

He gave one last desperate lunge for the door, ignoring the smothered hiss that came from behind, and then his body gave out on him, forcing him to go limp in the force's hold, the force that had a voice. His sobs, still holding the fragile desperation that still burned through his entire body, his entire being, were the only noises that punctured the thick silence. Not even the force behind him spoke. His legs weakly dragged against the wood flooring in a last-ditch attempt to flee from the force's grasp and out the door to look, but even as he tried he knew it was futile. The thought fueled his wrenched sobs as he began to lean forward, exhausted. The Force With A Voice let him, the pressure on his middle easing slightly as he slowly crumpled to the ground. It simply held him, sure in its knowledge that Mike wasn't leaving anytime soon. Then there was a sensation, one emitting from behind, and as his sobs slowly quieted he realized it was his older brother that held him. He was slowly rubbing a hand back and forth as he hugged him loosely, whispering words that sounded nothing like him.

He finally had the lucidity to look somewhere other than the door, and with that new achievement he turned sharply and buried his face in his big brother's shoulder. He didn't even have the strength to voice his breakdown any longer, merely letting his continued tears fall silently to bunch on the maroon sweater that wasn't his. But he tried to clutch it to himself, his movements slowed by the exhaustion that came after the panic, and merely shook in the other's arms.

Raph's strong grip always tethered him, kept him sane. Just like he always had, and always would, no matter what happened.

When both Don and Leo came through the same door Mike had tried to escape through, apologizing for the delay, nothing was said. Even when Leon asked if the both of them were okay because both their eyes were red (how had Mike failed to notice he hadn't been the only one crying? Now he remembered the foreign moisture on his shoulder), neither Raph nor himself said a thing about it, even if they seemed to just know.

They didn't mention it, because it would get better eventually. It just had to.

(Until then, the entrance still loomed whenever one of them was gone. All of them had to suppress the urge to look sometimes.)