After all this hurt, all of the tears, some days it felt as though there was no point. That it was better for me to give up, that no matter how I tried to heal this rift between us, there was no way we could return to what we were before. Much less how I envisioned it./p
But then, in those days, I would see something you let slip, a small smile, a chuckle. And it was like we were back to how it used to be. That someday. Maybe, we might be something closer./p
Even if you were scowling, ignoring me, huddled in your cocoon, I could never give you up. How could I? Even though the guilt of hurting you, and disappointing myself, I could never desert you, even if I had made you cry./p
But the soft blush on your face as you cuddled with your team, the gentle smile on your face as you found something in your research. The love you had for your team, the dedication to your passion for research./p
How I yearn to see you smile fully, brightly the way you used to. How I missed how you fighting so fiercely, the way you seemed ready to throw yourself into the fray; drive to better your team, yourself. Saying goodbye to that, to you in my life is near impossible. I would love to be the one who put the smile your face, to be the one to make you laugh again, to make you happy./p