"Say cent'anni!" The older gentleman exclaimed. Freddie looked confused, but Carly knew what it meant. In Italy, that phrase is typically followed by the clicking of glasses – the words wishing everyone one hundred years of health and happiness. She thought it was perfect, there was nothing she'd want more than to live to be a hundred, spending all of her days with the… man… beside her.
The thought caught her off guard. He'd always been the boy next door… The sweet kid who followed her and Sam around, helping to get them out of countless jams that usually Sam had gotten them into. As she looked at his smiling face there was no denying the truth, Freddie was all grown up. She knew she had too, but how had he transformed before her eyes without her really noticing?
They would both be starting their senior year in the next few months, him in person and her via online correspondence. They were both nearing eighteen and by this time next year he would be getting ready to leave for college… Getting ready to start his life. She wasn't yet sure what life would hold for her once high school was over, but she hoped beyond belief that it included the man sitting beside her.
She grabbed his arm and pulled him closer to her. "That's perfect… I could live a hundred years and never find a better friend than you." She smiled as the man took their photo and handed Carly's camera back to her. The old man smiled at them with a far away look, almost as if he was lost in memories of his own. "Such a beautiful couple." He praised as Carly felt as if the floor had fallen out from under her. She nervously pulled away from Freddie before she shakily answered, forced laughter coming out every few words. "Us? No… No… We're best friends. Amici."
She'd barely gotten the words out she was so nervous. It wasn't like that between them, no matter how much she wanted it to be. Freddie had moved on and she'd tried her best to accept it. He was no longer hers… Well, mostly he still was, but she knew that one day he'd fall in love and give that other part of himself away… The part that she'd longed to share since she almost lost him to that stupid taco truck; when he'd almost given his life for hers.
She slyly cut her eyes up to look at him, hoping that the older man's words hadn't made things to awkward for him. She couldn't see his face as he had turned away from her. She was afraid of what he was trying to hide… She feared it was pity.
When she'd kissed him weeks before, he didn't react… He didn't reject her, but then again, he didn't kiss her back either. He'd been completely… indifferent and it had frustrated her to not know what he'd been thinking. Eventually, she figured it out – he'd been trying to protect her feelings… so she didn't get her hopes up. They'd never mentioned it, preferring to act like it never happened so they could move past it. But deep down she knew she never would.
The old man smiled sympathetically, nodding his head before leaving them with a few words neither understood. "Forse per ora, ma non per sempre." Carly knew that sempre meant always or forever, but she didn't understand the rest. She made a mental note to try to translate it later on her PearPad.
Carly mentally shook herself, refusing to let the man's words ruin their up-till-now perfect afternoon. "So, what a sweet old man-" She began, but was abruptly cut off by Freddie. "Carly, what are we doing here?" Freddie sighed. Carly nervously twisted her napkin in her hands, refusing to look at him as she answered way too quickly. "What are you talking about? We're having gelato and enjoying a wonderful afternoon together…" She started to ramble and he groaned in frustration dropping his face in his hands, effectively stopping her in her tracks.
She quietly stared at her lap, feeling the moments tick by as she waited for him to speak… Waited for him to put the final nail in the coffin that her hopes for a future with him had long ago been buried in. She waited for him to finally demolish what was left of her heart.
He groaned again, sounding unsure of what to say next and roughly wiped his hands down his face before he finally looked up at her in disbelief. "Amici?" She sounded small as she finally spoke, her eyes still on her lap. "Yeah, it means friends…" Freddie rolled his at her. "I know what it means."
Carly didn't like the tone of his voice. He'd been mad at her over the years, he'd even raised his voice a time or two, but he'd never been so furious that he growled at her. She looked up at him slightly in fear. Not that she could ever genuinely be afraid of Freddie, but she couldn't deny he was making her nervous.
When Freddie finally looked up and saw her wide eyes staring back at him with a look he'd never seen directed at him before, he deflated. He tried to hold onto his anger, but he couldn't… He knew he wouldn't be able to where she was concerned.
"I'm sorry" they both spoke at the same time as if they could read the other's thoughts. They shared a uneasy laugh and Carly pushed forward with her apology. "I'm sorry he made things awkward. Let's just go back to how-" He was frustrated with her again, so she stopped mid-sentence when he jumped up and started pacing and nervously rubbing his neck. She dropped her head again and gave another small apology.
"Would you stop apologizing?!" He said it more forcefully than he intended, startling her in the process. He sighed and sat back down next to her. "Look, I'm sorry for raising my voice. But… I don't think I can do this anymore." Carly's eyes widened in shock at his words - no, she couldn't lose him. Freddie dropped his head back, almost searching for something in the sky that could save him before he continued. "I can't… I can't just go back. I can't keep letting you do this to me." He sounded so broken, Carly was briefly at a loss.
She had to stop him before he said something they would both regret, something they could never come back from. "No, No… I'm sorry. It's all my fault, I made it weird. I get it, you feel like he put you on the spot. But, you don't have to worry about hurting my feelings. I'm fine… or at least I will be, I promise. I'll get over it. But please, don't do this. Please… I can't lose you." She lost him somewhere in the middle, but as the tears ran freely down her reddening cheeks she had him reaching for her.
He took her hands in his trying to get her to look at him. She was in a loop of sobs and "please" so he pulled her to him, trying his best to calm her down. Wasn't he supposed to be the wronged-party? Once the strained sobs subsided he gently tried again. "What are you talking about? Get over what? How would I hurt your feelings?... I'm the one you crushed."
She looked up at him from her place against his chest with genuine confusion in her eyes. "How did I crush you? You're the one threatening to leave because you don't feel the same way about me. It's okay… I'm working on it. Just… You can't just disappear from my life. If you think we need some distance, fine, but please don't do this."
Freddie shook his head in shock. How was she making this about her? "No, you're the one so embarrassed that someone would think that we're together that you jumped to correct him. Before you came here, you kissed me." He paused a moment, searching for the right words, afraid of saying the wrong thing or being misunderstood and making her cry again. And, he hated to admit it, but he was gathering as much strength as he could. He'd joked about his feelings for her over the years, but he'd never really laid it all out on the line before. "And now the mere idea of being with me is just some big joke to you?" Carly shook her head in confusion, but he continued. "Friends… Amici… That's all I'll ever be to you." "No…" she said meekly, but he didn't hear her.
He stood and continued his pacing. "I thought that after you kissed me it was finally our chance… That all the e-mails and phone calls… You willingly waking up at an ungodly hour every day to talk to me… I thought it meant something." He was going so fast it was hard for her to keep up. "It did… It does!" she tried to interrupt, but he just shook his head at her.
"You don't get to do this to me again. I can't keep following you around like a puppy while you take me for granted… I just can't. It hurts too much." She couldn't remember how they got to this point, but all she knew was that Freddie was fighting back tears and he sounded so broken. He was almost mumbling, making it impossible to understand what he was saying now. She had to bring him back to her.
She reached for his arm and he jerked it away as if she'd burned him. His voice raised in frustration again, it sounded like he was arguing with himself… She could only catch every few words, but somewhere in the mix she swore she heard him say "can't love her… hurts to much…". Did he mean that it hurt too much because he couldn't love her back? Or was he trying to talk himself out of loving her because it hurt too much? Her heart lit up with hope. Did he love her after all? She wasn't too late?
Every now and then he would look up at her and just shake his head before he continued his pacing. He knew it made him look like a maniac, but he had to keep moving. So, it was either this or he would walk away from her. And no matter how mad he was, he refused to do that to her. He looked down at her again and she was lost in thought, anxiously biting her lip. He almost wanted to... No, he couldn't think like that. That type of thinking is what got him into this mess.
Carly replayed the past few minutes in her mind. Had she heard him correctly? He was mad that she'd called them friends? He thought he was a joke to her? Did he not know? How could he not know? His pacing was making her dizzy. She'd tried to keep her eyes on him, needing the small reassurance that he was still there with her, that he hadn't run off and left her.
She needed to stop him, but he was barely paying her any attention. If she spoke, would he even hear her? She knew what she needed to do… But was she brave enough? The last time she'd put herself out there, when she kissed him mere weeks ago, it hadn't ended well. Or had it? He's said that he thought it meant something? That it was their chance? She was so confused that her head was spinning, so the words fell out of her mouth before she even realized it. "I love you too."
It was so soft, she didn't think he would've heard her, but by how abruptly his pacing stopped, she knew he had. He was still facing away from her, so she wasn't sure what he was thinking… What his silence meant.
Freddie felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him. Had he heard her correctly? He reached out to the chair he'd previously occupied, leaning on it for support. "What-" His voice almost croaked, so he cleared his throat and tried again. He was still facing away from her, unable to see the rejection in her eyes if he actually imagined it like he assumed he had. "What did you say?"
"I said I love you too." Freddie's legs nearly fell out from under him again. He finally turned to really look at her, searching her face for some confirmation of what it meant. He didn't find it one way or the other, so he pressed on. "You mean as your best friend?" He knew what answer he wanted, but he was too afraid to actually hope for it. "Well, yeah…" Carly began, but as she watched Freddie's face fall she rushed to get out the rest, while she still had his attention… While he was still here with her. "BUT…" she continued and his eyes were instantly back on her. "But?" he whispered. "But also so much more than that."
His head tilted in confusion. He wasn't sure where she was headed - was this a good thing? Did she mean more like how he wanted her? Or did she mean he was more than just her best friend, but still not what he'd hope they could be?
Carly gave him a sweet smile, mustering up all the courage she could… It was now or never. She reflexively gulped, then began to bear her soul to him. "Freddie, I…" She was starting to lose her nerve; Freddie saw her glace to his hands and he knew what she needed. He took her hands in his and mentally prayed that she was about to say what he's always hoped she would. "I love you. I'm IN love with you."
Freddie let out the deep breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. He was so happy he knew he must be dreaming. Before he could say anything, Carly continued. "Freddie, I've always loved you. Back when you risked your life to save mine, it wasn't what you did that I loved, it was you. It was… It was what opened my eyes to what I had already known all along… That you were my person. I just hadn't known what that really meant." Freddie was crying, but thankfully he was also smiling… That's a good sign, right? "When you said we should wait to date until the whole hero thing wore off… I was too hurt to tell you how I really felt… Afraid that you wouldn't believe me. I mean, one moment you're lying on the ground bleeding… I didn't know if you were…" She trailed off, shaking the memory from her mind, afraid to even imagine it. "Then, once I know you're safe, I have to show you how I feel… Show you that I finally understand… That we're finally on the same page. And it's wonderful." She'd been looking at Freddie this whole time, but now she has to look away, anywhere but at him so she stares off into the distance. "But then it wasn't… And you broke up with me. And then, before I know it, you're dating Sam. But still… I always loved you."
Her eyes were back in her lap. She couldn't look at Freddie. While he'd been smiling before, she couldn't face him now, afraid of what she'd see.
Freddie was in shock. She loves him… She LOVES him. CARLY loves HIM. He could hardly believe it was true. It was everything he'd always wanted. But wait… Why had she been worried about him hurting her feelings? She had to have known he felt the same. He's been telling her as much since they were kids. Hell, he even joked about offing her first husband to make room for himself as her second husband!
"Carly…" He started gently, but she refused to look at him. He couldn't help but laugh, not at her, but at them both… How stupid they both have been. "Carly, look at me…" When she still refused to look up, he took matters into his own hands and lifted her chin with his finger. It took a moment before she raised her eyes, but when she did, she was met with his shy smile. "I'm in love with you too. I've only been telling you that since we were what… seven?" She looked at him pointedly, effectively telling him to be serious. Now it was his turn to make her understand. "Yeah, I have been in love with you for that long. And I'll admit that in the beginning I didn't quite understand what it meant, but I sure as hell felt it. It's changed and evolved over the years, but I have been head-over-heels in love with you since the day we meet, Miss Carly Shay." Now she was crying again. "Then why…?" she barely got out the words.
"I didn't know." She looked puzzled, so he continued. "I planned for us to eat at that fancy restaurant because I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend." Carly perked up at that. "But then when you called us just friends… I thought that was all you wanted us to be. And suddenly I was thirteen again being told how you'd never love me." "Oh, Freddie…" Carly reached for him again. This time he didn't pull away. She held his hands tightly in hers, needing to feel his warmth, his strength and hoping to give him some of hers. "I didn't know it was real back then… That you really loved me. Sam got into my head with that whole bacon thing and how we were the same people and nothing had changed and… again… how you'd never really love me. Not like that." Now he was the one looking at their hands. He'd been such an idiot to let Sam get to him like that. "I know you love her and always try to see the best in her, but sometimes I really hate that woman."
Carly smiled for a brief moment, then looked sad. "Then why did you date her?" He'd thought a lot about that this past year and he didn't really have a good answer. At least not one that didn't make him sound like an asshole. "Honestly?... Because she wanted me." Carly gave him a pitying look and he shook his head. "I knew it wasn't right. But if I couldn't have you… Maybe she was the next best thing. I mean, I did care about her. Just not the way I've always cared about you." They were silent a moment before he tried to lighten the mood. "At least when we were together she took a break from torturing me."
They both smiled at that, but something was still bugging Freddie. "If you didn't know that I was still hopelessly in love with you-" Freddie over-dramatized it to make her laugh. "-then why did you kiss me?" Carly sighed, she'd been hoping to avoid the true depth of that answer, but she'd never hide anything from this man ever again. "I… Well, I wanted to be with my dad, but couldn't imagine leaving you… Especially, if there was a chance. I had to find out. If there had been, I never could've left…. I could never have left you." Freddie stared at her in awe, he must be imagining things again. "You would've chosen me… over you dad? Your dad that you've only seen a handful of times over the past ten years?" She just nodded in response. "But… But you left?" If what she said was true, then why did she leave?
Carly was fighting her tears again. "You didn't want me." Freddie's jaw dropped in shock. "What? No… I uh… No." He couldn't find the words; it was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard. She simply nodded and continued. "I kissed you and you froze. You were a statue. You didn't push me away, but you didn't kiss me back either. You just stood there. I figured you were trying to protect my feelings… to keep from embarrassing me. Like letting me down easy." He had to clear the air. "That is not what happened. I was heartbroken that you were leaving. I couldn't deal with the long goodbyes, so I went upstairs to start packing up my gear while you cried with everyone. Then you caught me off guard when you kissed me. I was in shock. I'd finally started to believe that you'd never want me." It still didn't make sense to her. "Then why didn't you say something... anything. You didn't react at all."
He debated whether or not to tell her, it was pretty embarrassing. But for her to think he didn't want her? He couldn't live with that. "I did, but you didn't see it." Naturally she was confused, so he went on. "I was trying to play it cool instead of grinning like a lovesick idiot. It wasn't you I was trying to keep from being embarrassed, it was me. When you turned to leave the studio, the Rocky arms went up because for the first time in very long while I felt like a winner. Even if you were leaving, you wanted me. I knew we would work things out somehow, distance be damned. But you wanted me and it felt amazing. For the rest of the night after you left, I was on cloud nine and couldn't stop myself from daydreaming about what the future held." She was giggling at him, but he wasn't ashamed of how excited he'd been, so he laughed with her because her laughter was contagious. "Freddie, you're such a dork. But you're my dork." She smiled at him and squeezed his hands again.
"So, where does that leave us?" He shyly asked. A lot had happened in the last hour, so he wasn't sure where they stood anymore. Carly thought it over for a brief moment. "Well, didn't you get all dressed up to ask me something?" He was in shock again, there was no way she meant what he thought she did. "Really?" She just smiled at him and quickly nodded, waiting for him to ask her.
Their chairs were too far apart - he needed to be closer to her, so he got down on his knees in front of her and took her hands in his. "Carly, I love you so much. Will you be my girlfriend?" He held his breath, waiting for her response, but thankfully he didn't have to wait long. She was crying happy tears this time and nodding her head so fast he was sure she'd be dizzy soon. Finally, she managed to say the words he'd been praying for. "Yes! Yes, Freddie, of course I will… Yes!" She was making sure there was no room for confusion or misunderstandings this time. She launched herself into his arms, and quickly took his mouth with hers.
Freddie was sure that to anyone walking by it must look like they'd just gotten engaged. Maybe one day they would be… He sure hoped so, but he was more than satisfied for now. Carly had agreed to be his and that was all that mattered. She was finally his girlfriend. They were boyfriend and girlfriend, maybe for now, but not forever…