~ Chapter 3: Bad News ~

Merlin and Arthur's friendship grew stronger and stronger over the years. The years saw countless fights and arguments, more all–nighters than their mothers knew, and a deeper bond than either of the boys could comprehend.

When middle school came, Merlin had been terrified that everything would change. For the first time since Kindergarten, they would be switching classes each period, and he'd never had to figure out school without Arthur before. Arthur reassured him they had two classes and lunch together, and he swore up, down, left, and right that he wasn't going to stop being Merlin's friend.

True to Arthur's word, their friendship endured. It endured a lot. It endured the taunts that followed Merlin whenever Arthur wasn't around; it endured the rumors that they were gay (Merlin had been sure that would be Arthur's breaking point, but he'd just laughed – "let them say it; it doesn't change that you're my best friend"); it endured Arthur's first girlfriend and how Sophia hadn't wanted Arthur to spend time with Merlin (when Sophia gave him the ultimatum, Arthur chose Merlin); it even endured Arthur's increasingly busy schedule as he did both school and rec sports.

It was when they were thirteen that they got the news that rocked their friendship and changed their lives. In reality, it should have only affected Merlin, but their friendship was so strong and so inevitable that it was hard to remember that.

For years, they'd fostered a friendship that seemed to exist outside of them as individuals. When one hurt, they both hurt; when one cried, the other didn't try to put on a brave face and allowed their tears to flow freely; when one was angry, the other jumped on the wagon with no questions asked.

They both felt like their friendship could and would persist through anything because it already had – money problems, Arthur's father being gone more than he was, Merlin discovering the truth about his own father, Igraine being diagnosed with breast cancer. If those things hadn't torn them apart, surely their friendship could persist through anything

Then Merlin got sick.

Really sick.

He missed five whole days of school which felt like a lifetime to Arthur. It was a full week of not seeing Merlin roll his eyes when the kids they ate lunch with made stupid jokes, a week of Arthur not having anyone to poke him when he was dozing off in math class, a week of having to having to bring Merlin's homework over to him after Arthur had finished practice for the day because Merlin refused to fall behind. Arthur helped him get through all his homework which was a fancy way of saying that Merlin taught himself everything and somehow also made sure Arthur understood it. Arthur would never call him a smarty pants to his face… that was a lie; he regularly called him that, but it felt justified when Merlin somehow understood the whole lesson on solving for x when he wasn't even in class (Arthur still felt like letters had been his undoing in math – because numbers weren't hard enough).

On the fifth day, Arthur bumbled into Merlin's room, ready to fill him in on the fight that broke out in school today because Al had stolen the other Al's gummy words. He stopped dead when he saw Hunith carefully helping Merlin out of his bed.

Arthur had noticed Merlin's steady decline over the last week, but nothing compared to the sight that beheld him now. Merlin looked like he was struggling to keep his eyes open and his skin was paler than usual (that was saying something given his usual complexion). More than that, he looked so thin and frail. Arthur tried to figure out if he had missed that or if Merlin had been able to hide it when he was lying down.

"Ms. Hunith?" Arthur couldn't help his surprise. Hunith usually worked late during the week to rack up as much overtime as she could. She'd gotten home as he was getting here the last few days. When they were younger, Merlin used to go to Arthur's so Igraine could watch him until Hunith could pick him up after work. Arthur's mind briefly went to the last time Hunith had left work early – the day they found out Merlin's dad had died. He'd never known his dad, but Hunith felt like he had a right to know the whole story.

"Arthur, dear." A tense smile spread across her face. Clumps of her hair had fallen out of her bun and framed her face which only amplified the worry lines etched into her forehead. "I didn't know you were gonna be here this early."

"Practice was canceled because of the rain." As if to prove his point, they heard thunder so loud it rattled the apartment. "I was dropping off homework." He waved Merlin's blue folder with his make–up work. "What's going on?"

"This fever's giving us a run for our money," Hunith told him. "Dr. Nimueh wants to see him so we can get him on the good stuff. Make him feel better."

"I told you mom. I'm fine! I don't need to go to the doctor. I just need to sleep." He must've gotten a sore throat since the last time Arthur was here because his voice sounded scratchy. He let out a hacking cough and winced as his hands flew to his chest.

"Uh huh," Hunith said with an eye roll. "That sounds totally healthy."

"I just have a cold. Dr. Nimueh's just gonna tell me to get some rest."

"You've been resting for five days," his mom argued. "We're done having this conversation. She's squeezing us in, and we're going."

"But –"

"Mer, stop," Arthur said quietly.

He knew what Merlin was really worried about. A little before Merlin's twelfth birthday, they'd been snooping and trying to figure out what he was getting for his birthday. Instead, they'd come across a whole pile of past due bills. It had taken them a while to make sense of it all, and it had left Merlin with an icy feeling that spread through his chest. He felt personally responsible for it. Having a kid wasn't cheap, and he'd always known that she hadn't planned to have him, but he hadn't realized the scope of the hardship she'd undertaken for him. It had taken Arthur an entire night to convince Merlin he wasn't a hardship and, even then, Merlin had taken it upon himself to help out as much as he could. He never complained about the chores Hunith asked him to do and stopped asking for money. Merlin reasoned that he didn't really need to go places or have the latest video games. He'd already started looking into places that would hire him when he turned fourteen too. He felt the least he could do was help out. "Here, I'll help him get dressed."

Hunith nodded. "Two minutes and we're leaving."

"We can't go," Merlin whispered the moment the door shut behind her.

"You have to. What if you're really sick and you don't get medicine now. It could end up being worse," Arthur reasoned. "Plus, I think you don't pay if you have insurance and your mom got that new job six months ago." He wasn't exactly sure how it worked, but he'd heard Hunith telling his mom about how much better her insurance was now, so he didn't think it was a total lie.

"I'm fine," Merlin said feebly. He began to change out of his pajamas and into real clothes though, which Arthur knew meant he was giving up. He wobbled a little and fell onto his bed with one leg in his pants.

"Mmhmm." Arthur rolled his eyes. "You need to get better. Everything sucks without you, so I'm not taking no for an answer."

"Prat," Merlin shot at him. Merlin had long since started calling Arthur that – he'd read it in an old book, but it wasn't an insult to them. He meant it in an almost endearing way.

The same way that Arthur's retort, "idiot" wasn't an insult. Arthur felt better as they threw several taunts back and forth. Surely Merlin couldn't be that sick if he could maintain their normal banter.

Once Merlin was dressed, Arthur helped him to his feet, and they walked to the kitchen where Hunith was waiting with her car keys already in hand.

"Can I go with you?" Arthur asked hopefully. He wasn't sure if that was allowed. He'd never gone with Merlin to the doctor before, but Merlin had never been this sick. He felt like Hunith could use his help, and he didn't want to have to wait to find out what was going on.

Hunith hesitated for a moment before she tentatively agreed, "if your mother says you can."

His fingers seemed to move of their own accord as he rushed to the family room, picked up the bulky landline phone, and called his mom.

"Hello?"

"Mom, Merlin's going to the doctor. He's really sick. Can I go with him?" Arthur asked. "Ms. Hunith said it's fine."

"Did you do your homework?" Igraine asked. Arthur groaned. She knew perfectly well he hadn't done his homework because he'd only gotten out of school about twenty minutes earlier.

"Mom! It's Friday!" Arthur protested. "That would be like asking me if I'm going to school tomorrow."

"Honestly, Arthur, you can be so dramatic sometimes." His mom's voice was gentle and teasing. "I don't want you catching whatever he has. Maybe it would be best if you came home and got your homework done. You can see him tomorrow or Sunday."

"I have all weekend to do homework," Arthur pointed out. His voice dropped. "Please."

"You're really worried about him, aren't you?"

Arthur wanted to brush it off and insist that he wasn't worried, but he couldn't bring himself to utter the lie. He figured his mom would see through it anyway. "I've never seen him this sick before. I swear, I will get all of my homework done this weekend, but…" Arthur ducked his head even though she couldn't see him. "I don't want him to be alone."

He knew that technically Merlin wouldn't be alone because Hunith would be taking him, but it was different.

"Then go with him. I'm sure he's just as scared as you are. Call me once you get back, and I'll come pick you up so he can rest. Arthur?"

"Yes?"

"He'll be fine."

"Thanks, mom," Arthur murmured before he hung up the phone. He couldn't shake a foreboding feeling that seemed to creep through his veins like ice. He hoped his mom was right and that he was just tapping into Merlin's dramatic tendencies.

"She said yes," he told Hunith once he got back to the kitchen. Merlin was sitting with his arms crossed in his chair and was looking at his mom with a stony expression. Hunith looked equally agitated, so Arthur was pretty sure he'd just interrupted an argument. He made a mental note to ask Merlin about it later.

Cautiously, he followed both of them out to the car. It was like everything seemed more serious right now. Merlin's slow walk made Arthur sure that he was more lethargic than he'd noticed; when he stumbled at the door, Arthur was sure it was the result of his illness and not Merlin's usual clumsiness; when Merlin's breath caught, Arthur wondered if he was having trouble breathing; he couldn't help but wonder if Merlin's had always been that pale or if it was a sign of something worse lurking beneath the surface.

He tried to convince himself that he was just on edge, but he was having a tough time with it. Part of it was how important Merlin was, but mostly, it was that he just had a feeling, like a gut instinct. He wanted his gut to be wrong. Was he seeing symptoms where there were none or was he just aware of them now that he knew how sick Merlin was? Usually, he and Merlin would fight over who got the front seat but, this time, Arthur wordlessly got in the back with Merlin.

It was only a couple of minutes before Hunith pulled into the parking lot of the doctor's office. Arthur went to a different doctor on the other side of town, so he'd never been to this office. Where Arthur's office had murals painted on the outside walls that made it seem like a welcoming place, the uniform brick of the building in front of him made it seem cold and uninviting.

He really needed to get a handle on this. Mindful of the fact that Merlin could probably tell how anxious he was, Arthur took the chance to compose himself when he got out of the car. He tried to put a winning smile on to convince Merlin that everything was fine.

Hunith went to check Merlin in while Arthur led him to a chair. Merlin almost immediately fell asleep. Arthur couldn't faintly hear Hunith saying, "Emrys. E–M–R–Y–S. Yes, I called before for a sick visit." Hunith was at the window for a while, filling out some kind of form and chatting casually with the secretary. When he heard her laugh, it did more to calm Arthur down than anything. Surely, Hunith wouldn't be so nonchalant if Merlin was in danger. This had to be some weird cold or virus that Merlin couldn't shake.

Hunith had only just sat down when Merlin's name was called. Arthur woke up Merlin, and they rose. Hunith made no attempt to move. "Aren't you coming?"

Hunith shook her head. "The doctor will get me when they're ready. I don't think Merlin wants me there when they're doing the check–up."

Arthur didn't know what she was talking about, but the tips of Merlin's ears went red, so he didn't question it.

The nurse was friendly as she guided them to Merlin's room. A big, gold 6 ornamented the door above a painting of an elephant holding a lollipop. Inside the room, there were a ton of paintings of forest animals mixed in with all the 'Symptoms of…' posters. That made Arthur feel better too. This didn't feel like the kind of place where bad things happened.

The nurse pulled out a gown and placed it on the rolling chair the doctor would eventually sit in. "I'll be back in a few minutes. Down to your birthday suit, please."

She left the two of them alone, and Arthur immediately understood why Hunith had elected to stay outside. At first, Arthur sat in the plastic chair in the corner, but Merlin got his arms stuck in his t–shirt and let out a feeble, "help."

Arthur couldn't help but laugh as he helped Merlin detangle himself from his shirt; Arthur wasn't sure how Merlin had managed to spectacularly mess up taking off his shirt. His laughter immediately dried up when he saw the red, splotchy patch starting at Merlin's neck and snaking down his back. "Does that hurt?"

"What?" Arthur traced it. "Oh. No. It's a little itchy. I think I got a reaction from the sweater I was wearing yesterday. That's when it started. It's so much better today."

Merlin threw his pants at Arthur and held his gown closed. "Can you tie it?"

Arthur quickly fastened it and helped Merlin to the little examination table. He moved his seat next to the table. Merlin already looked better. Maybe he'd just needed to walk around a bit. He was definitely way more awake then he'd been when they left. Arthur had planned to wait, but he figured they might as well talk now while they were waiting. "What was that before?"

"What do you mean?" Merlin wondered.

"Before we left. It looked like you and your mom…" Arthur trailed off because Merlin's stormy look from earlier was back.

"She has to go to work tomorrow. Because she took off early today. So now, she only has one day off this week and we lose our Saturday morning, and it's all my fault."

"That sucks." Saturday mornings were sacred to Merlin. Even Arthur didn't try to intrude on them. It was the only time Merlin got with his mom that wasn't filled with errands or chores or homework. Every Saturday, Merlin and his mom would make breakfast together before they spent a couple of hours watching a movie or playing some board games. After lunch, they were back to the real world. Merlin almost never talked about it, but the fact that he never tried to call Arthur or invite him over until the afternoon was more telling than if Merlin had confessed how important those mornings were.

Arthur was pretty sure they had to mean as much to Hunith as they meant to Merlin, but he couldn't be certain.

Despite saying she'd be back in a few minutes, it was nearly an hour before the nurse returned. "Sorry about that," she said in a cheery voice. "We had a poop explosion from one of the kiddos here, and it took longer than I thought to get him cleaned up. Poor thing."

She started to take Merlin's vitals. A crease formed in her forehead when she took his blood pressure and didn't go away as she continued her routine. She didn't even crack a smile when Merlin nearly fell off the scale and joked, "watch out for that air."

Once Merlin was back on the table, the nurse gave him a curt nod. "The doctor will be with you shortly." Arthur realized after she left that she'd never told them her name. Something about what had just happened frayed Arthur's nerves.

The silence felt thick and suffocating. Desperate to break it, Arthur asked, "are you nervous?" Merlin shrugged. "I'm sure it'll be fine. You'll be better in no time, and I'll be kicking your butt at Mario Kart soon."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Keep dreaming."

There was a knock on the door, immediately followed by a middle–aged doctor entering the room. "Hey, Merlin. Good to see you again. Though, I wish I was seeing you under better circumstances."

"Me too," Merlin agreed.

"We're gonna do a quick look around, then we'll get your mother back in here, okay?"

Dr. Nimueh was thorough. She asked him to do a few exercises to see how he was able to move; when she asked him to touch his toes, he'd grumbled, "I can't do this when I'm not sick."

Then she started to get a scope of his symptoms. "It looks like you have an upper respiratory infection. Your throat doesn't look too bad, but I still want to test you for strep."

When she looked at his back, she paused her inspection. "How long has this rash been here?"

"Just since yesterday. I was cold, so I put on a sweater my mom knit for me. I think I reacted to it. I started to feel better once I changed it."

"Have you worn the sweater before?"

"Yes," Merlin admitted.

"And did you react to it?"

"Well… no."

Dr. Nimueh nodded. "You can get dressed. I'm going to tell your mother she can come in." She handed Arthur a yellow sign that said "READY!" in big, black letters. "Put this on the door when he's done."

Once she was gone, Merlin stood up. He squeezed his eyes shut and wavered on his feet for a moment before Arthur steadied him. Merlin took deep breaths before he started to blink rapidly. "Sorry. I just stood up too fast. I'm fine now."

Arthur still hovered over him while he got dressed and forced him into the plastic chair instead of onto the table before he put the sign on the door. Arthur took a seat on the little footstool in front of the table.

Hunith and Dr. Nimueh came in less than a minute later. Arthur had expected a longer wait after how long they'd already been here.

Dr. Nimueh frowned when she saw where Merlin was sitting. "He got dizzy when he stood up before, so I thought this was safer." He instantly felt like a tattletale because Merlin glared at him.

"I'm fine!"

"I spoke with your mother before we came back here. I know you say you're fine, but your blood pressure is concerning and your heart rate isn't great, so we're going to run some tests. Shayla will be back in a minute to swab you so we can rule out pneumonia and strep, and we're going to take some blood to run a CBC to rule out any abnormality with your blood cells. We should have everything back in an hour, and we'll talk more then. Do you understand?"

Merlin was staring at Dr. Nimueh as if she'd spoken a different language. Arthur nudged Merlin's knee, breaking his trance. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, I understand."

The same nurse from earlier returned with a whole cart of stuff. She shoved what looked like a long q–tip up his nose until his eyes watered, and then used another one to check the back of his throat. Both looked exceptionally unpleasant, but Arthur knew the blood would be the worst. She felt around for a vein, then carefully sanitized the back of his wrist. Arthur had to look away when she pushed in the needle. While Merlin was terrified of needles, Arthur usually had a thicker skin with it. Apparently this was the exception.

"Okay, that's everything. Do you need water or anything?" Merlin moaned. "Right. I'm gonna get you a granola bar. No food allergies, right?"

"None," Hunith confirmed.

Shayla came back with a small juice box and a granola bar. She was only in long enough to make sure Merlin took a bite.

Hunith started to nervously tap her foot a few minutes after Shayla was gone. Arthur didn't know what to say to break the silence. Everything seemed so much more real and terrifying while they waited for the unknown. A thousand what if's seemed to echo around his head, but he kept them firmly inside. They wouldn't help anyone right now, and he wasn't going to contribute to Merlin's fear to soothe his own nerves.

The minutes seemed to tick by slowly. Arthur took to counting the seconds in time with Hunith's foot, but he had no idea if they were faster or slower than a second. It helped slow his racing thoughts and heart, so he kept doing it over and over and over again. One, two, three… One, two, three… At 13 in his 74th set, Dr. Nimueh returned.

Arthur knew right away that she didn't bear good news. She approached them warily, sat down in her chair, and moved closer to Merlin. "Are you familiar with a CBC?"

Arthur wished she'd just rip off the band–aid.

"A little. I was tested for anemia when I was younger." Hunith clutched her hands together so tightly they turned white.

"Yes, that's one thing that can be detected with a CBC. The test measures a bunch of different components of your blood and determines if there's an abnormality. This is what a typical blood count looks like." She held up a chart with a bunch of numbers that meant nothing to Arthur. They were all written as ranges. "This is what yours looks like, Merlin." The numbers still didn't mean anything, but most of the rows were in red and a few of them had been highlighted

"What, uh, what does that mean?" Hunith voice caught in her throat.

"It means there was a substantial abnormality in his blood count. Part of that abnormality can be explained by whatever he's making it sick, but not all of it. With your permission, I'd like to refer you over to the oncology department at the children's hospital down the road."

"Onc –" Hunith couldn't finish because her words were cut off by a sob. "No."

Merlin looked at his mom then at Dr. Nimueh. "What does that mean? Oncology."

Dr. Nimueh looked Merlin directly in the eye. She held his hand in hers. "It means I'm referring you to a cancer specialist."

Arthur just stared. It wasn't possible; Merlin couldn't have cancer.