~ Chapter 11: Graduation ~

Merlin wasn't even in remission for a year when his cancer came back. It was anticlimactic this time – he didn't pass out in gym class or discover a rash. Instead, he went in for a routine check–up and found out the results of his tests were abnormal.

Four months. Merlin was only four months from graduation. Even if he wasn't going to be out of the hospital to walk for high school graduation, he was set on getting his diploma. Some days, he felt like that was the only thing that kept him going. He knew they weren't going to find the right combo of medicine this time. Everyone knew. They were trying for Merlin's sake, and Merlin was trying to stay optimistic for Arthur's sake. Everyone seemed to be holding onto their delusion for someone's sake. But they couldn't run from reality. Third time's the charm doesn't work with cancer, but Merlin wanted to make the time he had left count.

Merlin didn't think he'd ever done so much work in his life. He'd thought starting junior year in the hospital had been difficult, but senior year inexplicably seemed to have even more work – hadn't anyone ever heard of senioritis? Arthur and Gwen came to the hospital almost every day, just so they could spread out on the floor or on the spare bed in Merlin's room and do their homework. At least twice a week, Merlin and Gwen stayed long past visiting hours. It wasn't uncommon to see all three of them asleep amongst a medley of textbooks and notebooks.

If it was the weekend, the nurses let it go unless they had to wake up Merlin for something. Weekdays, though, they woke them up and kicked them out for their sake.

Even more common was to hear or see them arguing over an assignment, each of them convinced they'd done it correctly. Homework was particularly slow moving with Merlin because he had so much trouble focusing. His attention would randomly drop out, and he'd forget something he just read.

He'd been told that was a side–effect of one of the drugs in his chemo, but it didn't make it any better. It didn't make his memory any better or clear the fog that seemed to cling to his brain, but it did remind him that it was, hopefully, temporary.

In a weird way, Merlin's favorite days were the ones where he wasn't feeling up to doing homework. He hated being sick, but he loved that those ended up being homework–free days. They would all do something normal like watch a movie or play a board game. Morgana joined them on those days too. She refused to do homework in a hospital because "it was depressing enough without that", but she had no qualms with hanging out with them sans homework.

As his senior year came to a close, Merlin's teachers administered his finals in his hospital room. They'd worked with the hospital to give them on days when he was most likely to be alert and able to focus. When he finished his last final, he felt empty. For such a long time, he'd been working toward graduation. Now that he'd done it, he wasn't sure what came next.

He wasn't sure why he'd cared so much. He'd long since given up the idea of college. If he even survived that long, it wasn't likely that taking college courses from his hospital room would be a good idea in any way.

The day before graduation, Merlin was feeling particularly dejected about his future. It was hard not to when he saw his friends getting excited to march down the graduation aisle. At least, that's what he told them.

"Cheer up, Merlin." Her voice was bright and cheery as usual.

"What is there to be happy about? Cancer has literally ruined my life."

"Not yet. You're still here, Merlin. Which means it hasn't ruined anything." Gwen held his hand. "I know it seems like it's taken everything from you, and it has taken far, far too much. But it hasn't taken you."

"I'll remember that when I'm not at graduation tomorrow and when I'm not going to college," he said sarcastically.

"You could always take some online classes or wait until you're in remission and enroll in classes. Have you given any thought to what you want to major in?"

"Oh… erm…" Merlin felt himself flushing.

Arthur, who had been uncharacteristically quiet as he sat in a chair with his feet on Merlin's bed spoke for the first time. "You picked something and didn't tell me?"

"It's dumb," Merlin muttered. "And it's not like I'll get to do it."

"You don't know that. You can do whatever you want to do."

Merlin glared at him. "No, I can't. Because I'm stuck here."

"Only for now."

"What exactly is it you want to do?" Gwen asked, interrupting their back and forth.

"I want to be a doctor. I was thinking a pediatric oncologist like Gaius. I'd be able to help kids who are going through what I went through. What Freya went through. What Will went through."

"I think that's brilliant! You'd make an amazing doctor. It might take you a little longer, but you'll get there," Gwen encouraged.

Arthur said nothing. He was too busy smiling. The moment Merlin had said it, Arthur had known he hadn't entirely abandoned hope. Merlin still thought of the future, so he must've believed, on some level, that he had a future.

"Assuming I actually graduate from high school and make it to college." Merlin hadn't received any word about how his finals had gone. He and his mother were choosing to believe that no news was good news.

"Of course, you're going to graduate. You got better grades than me junior year, and you missed more than half of it!" It was true. Arthur had done fine, but Merlin's grades had been incredible.

"I wasn't otherwise distracted." Merlin winked at Arthur.

Arthur glared at Merlin. He hated that he was so ridiculously in love with Gwen that he couldn't help but talk about her. It made him so happy to talk about their relationship, and Merlin seemed to want to know everything. Arthur pretended not to notice the suspicious look Gwen was shooting toward him.

"Are you sure you can't get out for a few hours tomorrow? Graduation is a big deal." He'd been asking Merlin for weeks, and so far, Merlin's answer hadn't changed. Arthur had personally asked the nurses if they could conspire with him, but they'd refused to even entertain the notion.

"I wish," Merlin said miserably. "I know you want me there."

"I always thought I was going to graduate with you, but it's not about me."

"Sure it is. Do you think I'd want to go to graduation if it wasn't for you?"

"And your mom," Arthur pointed out.

Merlin shrugged. "You're practically her son too. As long as one of us walks down that aisle, she'll be happy."

"We're graduating. Not getting married," Arthur pointed out.

Before Merlin could say anything, Henry ducked in to tell them visiting hours were over and that he needed to take some blood from Merlin.

"Have fun tomorrow," Merlin said as Gwen hugged him.

"We'll tell you all about it on Saturday," Arthur promised.

"And we'll take pictures. It'll be like you were there," Gwen added.

Merlin watched them leave and practically deflated. He was horrible at keeping secrets, especially from Arthur. He was grateful he'd managed to convince them he was only upset about missing his graduation.

The next day found Arthur in a suit Igraine had picked out for him. She straightened his tie before she gave him a big hug. "I can't believe my baby is graduating."

"Mom, please stop."

"Nope."

After he finally got free of her, he met Gwen at school where they'd have to board the buses that would take them to the arena they were graduating in. Naturally, she fussed over him and told him he looked handsome in his suit. She straightened his tie for him.

He told her that her hair looked amazing and that her dress was beautiful. It was true, but he thought Gwen was equally beautiful in sweatpants, makeup–free with her hair tucked out of the way.

They were silent on the bus. Gwen rested her head on Arthur's shoulder, and he had his arm snaked around her back. All around them, their peers were laughing and screaming and taking pictures, but Arthur wanted nothing to do with it. He just wanted to spend this moment with Gwen.

When they got to the stadium, before they separated to go sit in alphabetical order, Gwen squeezed his hand. "Try to enjoy yourself. You are graduating."

"Enjoy graduation? What graduation have you been to that has been pleasant?"

Gwen chuckled. She kissed Arthur lightly. "I'll see you after the ceremony. Love you."

"Love you too." He stole another kiss before he went and found his seat.

The speeches were exactly as he expected. The principal had some long speech about how he was proud of all their accomplishments and how he enjoyed being given the opportunity to watch them grow up and mature over the years. He had a whole butterfly metaphor about how they were ready to emerge from their chrysalis.

An old guy started speaking; Arthur hadn't been paying enough attention to find out who he was. Then there was the valedictorian and the salutatorian. And the class president. Their speeches weren't too bad, but they had tried too hard to sound interesting and funny; instead, they sounded forced and faked.

Finally, as Arthur was about to fall asleep if he listened to the class president say one more word about how people are like milkshakes, the speech was over. It was time to hand out diplomas. Arthur's class wasn't too big. Only about three hundred students. Despite that, the call seemed to go on and on and on. It seemed like everyone in the class had a last name that began with an A or a B or a C or a D.

When they got to E's, a few names were called and then finally came the name Arthur had been waiting for. "Merlin Emrys," the principal called. It was customary to call every senior's name, even if they weren't here to accept the diploma.

He closed his eyes and listened to the applause for Merlin. He wanted to be able to tell Merlin about it later. Suddenly the applause and cheers picked up in volume. It was like a roaring in his ears. He opened his eyes and looked toward the stage. His jaw nearly dropped. Merlin was slowly but surely making his way up the steps; his mortar board sat on his bald head. It took Arthur a moment, but eventually, he spotted Hunith at the base of the stairs Merlin would eventually descend with a wheelchair.

Arthur moved on autopilot. He was vaguely aware of moving down his row long before his name was going to be called. Morgana got to Merlin first, and the moment he was down those steps, she engulfed him in a hug. Then Gwen joined them. Finally, Merlin turned to face Arthur.

Arthur crossed his arms. "Not going to graduation, my ass."

Merlin grinned before he pulled Arthur in for a hug. "Surprise," he muttered.

"You're in so much trouble."

"You can yell at me later," Merlin promised.

He pulled and Hunith helped him into his chair. Arthur could hear that people were still clapping for Merlin. They didn't understand; they couldn't understand that this small moment meant the world to Merlin and Arthur.

Arthur self–consciously made his way back to his seat, and the rest of the ceremony passed in a blur. No one could compete with Merlin's entrance.

After it was all over, Arthur beelined to Merlin. Igraine and Hunith were both standing behind his wheelchair looking far too happy for Arthur's liking.

"How?" Arthur demanded.

"I got permission to come to graduation."

"That's not possible. I specifically asked…"

"It's possible that I had the entire oncology staff agree not to tell you. I have to admit, I thought your mother would have accidentally told you."

"My… my mother?" He spun so fast, he got a little dizzy. "You knew?"

"Hunith and I worked with the doctors to pull this off. Did you think they'd just let Merlin walk out of the hospital?" Igraine looked highly amused.

Arthur had so much trouble believing Merlin had actually been able to keep this from him.

"You can yell at me all you want tomorrow, and I'll give you all the details. They've got to get me back to my cell."

"We're taking you out to dinner," Hunith told him.

"But Gaius said –" Merlin started.

"They don't know how long your graduation takes. What's a few more hours? We're gonna celebrate. Besides, you really can't get back without us." Hunith made a convincing argument. Not that Merlin needed to be convinced.

Merlin loved his brief stolen hours of freedom.