Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe!
Title: I been thinking of our future, 'cause I'll never see those days
Summary: A drabble an episode keeps the writer engaged. One peek into Steven's life per episode; season two edition!
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FULL DISCLOSURE
Connie's never been in a fight before, but as Steven describes Jasper's helmet going into his face she finds that she could definitely try it out for fun.
It's a new emotion, this rage. The terror. Steven almost blocked her out of his life, all because he was afraid of her getting hurt or being traumatized. Maybe, if Connie were a newer friend, she wouldn't've fought so hard. It's not the first time she's lost a potential friend. But they've fused, and she's watched him fight corruptions, and honestly at this point it's impossible to turn back.
(She doesn't want to, either.)
Connie's never thought of herself as violent. She still doesn't. But she felt, with bone-deep certainty, that if she ever came eye-to-eye with the Gems that did this to Steven, she'd punch first and get destroyed by them after. That's got to mean something, right? That willingness to play punch tag with something capable of killing her by flicking her nose?
Connie would do anything to stay with Steven. That's who she is now. And she's not sure what she's going to do with that motivation, but it's strong, and heady, and she's pretty sure it's exactly what she needs to stay in his universe.
Fuck the stars. She has Steven Universe.
JOY RIDE
Steven sleeps long and hard that night and rises with just as many callouses but more determination. The same can be said of the teens, who come around totting shovels of their own.
"I gotta do my one good deed a year," Jenny replies when he asks. She boops his nose. "Keeps 'em guessing."
Buck hefts his awkwardly over his shoulder. He's clearly not used to manual labor. "We'll keep it fresh with a bite of acerbic pessimism for you, too. Less change you'll get bored."
"I'm just here for the vibes," Sour Cream says, shrugging.
Steven directs them to the little pieces. He's starting to realize he's stronger than the average human, and with that comes the trail and error of learning what normal humans can carry. Small is probably best.
He works with a smile.
SAY UNCLE
Garnet hummed, sitting back in her chair. She studied the bold letters above her head and shook it. "Hmmm. Nope. Not doing this one."
"Has the writer even seen this episode?" Pearl asked.
"Nope. Isn't a big fan of Uncle Grandpa." She shrugged. "But he heard that meta humor was a thing in it, so here we are."
Amethyst snorted. "Coward."
Garnet did finger guns.
LOVE LETTERS
"There's words, you know," Connie says after the debacle, "for having no romantic attraction."
Garnet inclines her head a little. She's not surprised. Humans have words for most everything. It's neat, really.
"Sorry, I know you're not big into labels. But some people are comforted by having names, or knowing they aren't alone."
"'M never alone," she corrected the girl gently. "You've fused. You know what it's like."
Connie flushed and laughed. "I think it's a little different for you, what with Ruby and Sapphire being in love. Stevonnie is like... a big hug. All the time."
Garnet hummed. She likes that thought too. "I just tell people that the love that made me sucks up all my love feelers. Tell me about the proper word."
"Right!" She perked up- as Garnet had hoped. "It's called aromantic. There's a lot of other terms, but the umbrella is that romantic attraction doesn't exist, or it exists very little. I don't think most people know of it, but Jaime is always at pride parades so he might."
"Good for Jaime," she decides. She knows what Connie means, of course- that telling him that would help him move on. And who knows? She might someday. But right now this couch is comfortable, and it's fun hearing weird little facts from Connie. "Tell me the others."
REFORMED
Garnet takes a turn holding the gemstone while Steven finds Pearl. Amethyst is so brittle in her hands- one wrong twitch and she could be gone forever. It's easy for her to forget that. Amethyst is loud, and hardy, and... breakable.
Privately, she reminded Garnet a lot of Ruby.
Coming face to face with Jasper had been... enlightening. Sometimes she forgot just how big Quartzes were supposed to be. How robust. How small Amethyst truly was, totally unaware of her own defects. But that was good, she thought- she assumed. Amethyst was perfect as she was. She didn't need to know anything else.
"I'm sorry," she murmurs, swiping her thumb across the top. "I forget how confident I am. I forget how confident you aren't."
Garnet presses a small kiss to the smooth surface.
"We love you."
SWORN TO THE SWORD
Pearl gives her new definitions for old words.
Risking her neck in a battle she won't win? That's bravery. Learning to swordfight on a giant sky plateau where the air is thin enough to hurt her lungs? That's strength. Being willing to fight to the death against opponents who would never see her as more than a toy? Love.
(Connie. Proper noun. Worthless. Worth the world. A knight.)
But there's other words too. The fact that she breathes? Travesty. The way Pearl's sword arcs against her cheek, dripping just the smallest hint of blood across the stone? A shame. Patching up the wound and teaching her how to cover it with makeup? Humanity.
Hugging her and Steven tight, face wet with tears? Moving on.
RISING TIDES CRASHING SKIES
The web-documentary goes poorly. Steven Universe finds it in his heart to throw it a like, and by doing so it starts appearing in his followers' feeds. He gets comment after comment telling him that he's pestering the Gems, that they're the "original peoples" in Beach City and it's kind of fucked up to try and chase them out. Ronaldo earnestly just wanted to help, and to bring about good TV, and it seems he did the latter well.
"Dad," he calls during one of the few quiet moments they have. He's staring at another hate comment. "The Gems aren't... dangerous, are they?"
Fryman hums, busy at work with his fryer. Sometimes Ronaldo thinks he likes work more than he does him. "Depends, I guess. They trash a lot of public property. And..."
He trails off. Ronaldo says, "And what?"
"My grandpappy told me a story 'bout them," he starts uneasily. "Dunno how much of it was true. But I guess they used to make a big lady- bigger than the lady we saw at Fish Stew Pizza last month. All black. Didn't talk much, but she drooled lava. Guess that caused some damage to the boardwalk back in the day." Fryman shudders. "Can you imagine that? Spittin' lava?"
Ronald racks his brain to figure out if any of the big ladies seemed dangerous. The biggest lady he'd seen- bright with Christmas tree colors- had been more awkward than intimidating. The arrow lady only shot at spaceships. And the magician... she did a few party tricks for him, once. Ronaldo found she'd liked having an audience.
"That sounds ridiculous," he says eventually. "The lava would eat it inside out."
Fryman shrugs. "S'just a story."
KEEPING IT TOGETHER
The dryer clunks along while Garnet wonders if Steven should be allowed on adventures at all.
The Gems have no concept of childhood, and this is not a sudden epiphany. This is a matter of personal ability. Steven was new to his powers. He needed direction. And if they found more... lost friends, then Garnet probably wouldn't be able to give it to him. The reminder of its scream sends a new line of shudders down her spine.
It never occurs to her to consider that if she was traumatized, he would be too. Steven was not a full-time fusion. Why would he be? Seeing her breakdown and almost fall to pieces is something the Gems have seen before. It's not news. (But it is to him.)
He's learning leaders are fallible. That will simply have to be enough.
WE NEED TO TALK
Connie's a sweet kid, Greg thinks. She's always polite whenever she comes to visit, and she's never given him reason to consider her a bad influence. When she fused with Steven- yes, it was a shock, but it was never a matter of 'no, not her'. It was a matter of 'no way, a human?'
Her parents remind him of his. It's not a comfortable thing to witness, even if they aren't as bad. And he understands why sharing life essence with someone might be a bit above their paygrade. And, well. He's missed having human company.
Human beings. The kind of concept he could jam out about for ages. And now, Connie can jam with him. Two humans against the world.
(Steven, suddenly quiet, clutches his stomach and wonders.)
CHILLE TID
Jasper breaks surface and Lapis struggles against the shackles pulling her down. It's pointless. It always is. But these moments on equal ground- they're important. It's a reminder of who she's keeping down here. It's a reminder of what she did all this for.
Jasper splutters and laughs. Her hair is slick and flat against her as she shifts onto her knees, smiling toothily. "You're slipping," she sing-songed.
She stopped trying to escape a few months ago. Lapis isn't sure what to make of it. Jasper just seems... complacent about the whole thing. "Not for long. I won't let you up for long."
"I know," she said. "I'm impressed, Lazuli. You're one tough Gem. It's a shame we're wasting all that power down here."
"You won't- you can't convince me."
Jasper shrugs. "Your time is up."
And Lapis goes under.
CRY FOR HELP
"Amethyst," Steven begs when they warp back. He grabs her arm and finds it to be shaking. "Please. I... I need someone with me right now. I'm scared."
She shrugs him off. "Later, Steven."
"But-"
Amethyst doesn't listen. She can't. All she can think about is the rage Garnet felt. The fury in Sugilite's snarl. She wanted to fuse with her again, sure, but like this? Over that? She felt dirty. Used.
Her door smacks open and she rushes inside. Steven needs her. Steven needs to wait. It closes and she leans heavily against it, pressing a palm harshly against her forehead. Deep breaths. The others don't need them, but she does. She has lungs. She's the idiot who made herself lungs.
She sucks in a tiny, quivering inhale and realizes she's sobbing.
KEYSTONE MOTEL
Amethyst butts into Pearl's room not long after they've left, opening and closing the door with quick percision that's unlike her. She doesn't get into the waterfalls or try to yell up to her. She just watches, arms crossed.
Pearl sighs and goes to meet her. "Here to yell at me?" she asks ruefully. Knowing she deserves it.
Amethyst jerks a thumb behind her. "I made tea. Let's talk."
"I don't drink tea."
"Yeah, yeah. You like holding the hot cup and we all know it." She waves it off as semantics. "C'mon, Pearly Pear. You need to let it out."
"Let what out?" she asks, baffled. "That I made a horrible mistake? That I'm a failure as a Crystal Gem and an even bigger failure as a friend? That I've pushed away the one Gem that's always done her best to help me?"
Amethyst grabs her hand. "This is what teatime is for," she decides, turning and walking out the door. And for reasons Pearl cannot begin to fathom, she follows.
ONION FRIEND
Onion sneaks into Sour Cream's room every other night. He calls it sneaking because he does it under mom's nose- not that mom would mind. Maybe he just likes sneaking.
Sour Cream pulls a headphone off. "Wassup, little man?"
Onion made a few hand gestures. Tonight is a nonverbal night, then. That's pretty normal too. He's never been a loud kid.
Understanding, he nods. "It all went well, then?"
He pulls a tape out from behind him and showed it off. Then he pulled a mouse out of his hair and set it on the table. It was Sour Cream's mouse, actually. Onion tended to make off with him often.
"You did all that?" Onion nods slowly. "Wow. You really let him off easy. You and Steven buds now?"
Onion nods, faster this time.
"Sick."
HISTORICAL FRICTION
"My talented little boy," Pearl cooed, rubbing a hand through his hair. "You did so well!"
Steven giggled, playfully swatting her hands away. "Noooooo, I'm a big boy!"
"Of course," she agreed, sweeping him into her arms. "My talented big boy."
She pressed a kiss to his forehead and trundled off towards the house. The gentle glow of the lights slowly faded away, leaving him sleepy and content. Steven yawned and curled up into her arms. Pearl hummed a gentle tune.
It was the happiest he'd seen her in weeks. That made it worth every second.
FRIEND SHIP
Amethyst was jelly-boned with relief as Garnet swept Pearl into a side hug. It was far from the big, warm hugs she usually gave, but this was a start. Stars, did they need a start.
Pearl scooped her up as they passed, patting her back comfortingly.
"Thank you," she whispered. "I know you did a lot for us."
Amethyst waves a sluggish hand. "S'nothing special."
"It was enough," Pearl disagrees. "That means the world."
She giggled and buried her face in the Gem's shoulder. Amethyst was snoring within minutes.
NIGHTMARE HOSPITAL
Priyanka couldn't help but consider what the hell kind of pipeline strict parenting led to sword training as her daughter casually hefted a giant anime sword onto her shoulder, chatting eagerly with Steven.
She felt like a failure. Her daughter was just... terrifyingly strange to her. This girl with strength and agility to cut through monsters was not the little girl of last year. The glasses, clipped uselessly to her shirt, was another reminder of that. This was not the kind of thing you saw in parenting books.
Connie was tall for her age, broad-shouldered and packed with muscle. She spoke with her chin held high. She was... happy. Happier than she'd ever been. Had Priyanka really made her so miserable?
She knew Doug wouldn't mind a pullback on the rules. She knew it would be relatively easy to let that leash go. But it was one thing to see it happen in real time and another to see that her daughter had chewed through the line and found a whole world without her.
I need to do better, Priyanka realized suddenly on the car ride home.
SADIE'S SONG
The dress was so floaty! Steven delighted in its twirl as he spun, giggling madly. "It's a shame you didn't like it, Sadie. It's fun!"
Sadie tsked a little, arms crossed. "Ah, it's fine. I'm not big into anything like that."
"Fair enough," he decided, spinning again. Steven rubbed the fabric between his thumb and forefinger, letting the smooth cloth soothe the overly bright lights from Beach-a-Palooza.
"I'm glad you like it, though. Did you wanna keep it?"
He laughed and nodded.
CATCH AND RELEASE
The Steven stays with her that night. Peridot can't pretend that she's not relieved. The door of this room was no match for something as strong as a fusion, but she could tell that they wouldn't touch her. Not when The Steven was present. She couldn't help but assume he was the leader- but they listened to the fusion's word, so maybe not. Maybe he was something special. A pet, perhaps?
Halfway into the night, The Steven's eyes closed and his head fell back. Peridot felt vaguely unnerved as he began to make a strange, uncomfortable sound. Was he attempting to purr? To growl?
(He was snoring.)
Eventually he comes out of it. Peridot logs the event in her mind and decides to study it when she has the chance. Right now, everything is too unstable. She's vulnerable. She's weak.
The Steven smiles a lot. Peridot can't understand why.
WHEN IT RAINS
There's a giant mass of Crystal Gem shards in the core of the Earth, and it's going to explode.
Peridot makes it sound so simple. Her methodical mannerisms are in play, bringing out a ramshackle plan that's supposed to save the world. They're going to build a drill. They are going to drill. Hit the Cluster, and... profit? Maybe?
Steven recognizes she sees him as a protective force, as someone she can lean on. That's important to the general upkeep of the team right now, and Steven does his best to be like Garnet and give her guidance and comfort. But when she goes back to the bathroom he just shakes and shakes until it feels like he's going to fall apart.
Because the Crystal Gems can handle Jasper, or Lapis, and maybe even Malachite. But the world itself? A core of Gems? No one likes those odds. So he needs to be strong right now! The strongest big boy he can be! But it doesn't stop him from crying at night, quivering in silence.
BACK TO THE BARN
Pearl crouches outside the barn in the evening. Steven joins her, sitting with a little flop that would normally make her laugh. He rubs his sweaty hands on his jeans and tries to figure out a polite way to talk about this. A polite way to talk about her slavery.
"You can ask," she says, having expected this. "But there's things I'm unable to answer."
Steven swallows and nods. "You were... a servant. So you had, like... a boss?"
"Master," Pearl corrects gently. She wants Steven to know that fluff words won't make it easier.
"Right. Your master..." He stares at her with watery, terrified eyes. "It wasn't my mom, was it?"
Pearl opens her mouth, only to find it slamming shut against her will. Her coding tells her to think this through. I was owned by- she wasn't- Rose isn't a- damnit, why can't she just say things? Why must it hurt to even consider?
She finally settles on a technical truth that keeps the code settled. "I was never owned by a Rose Quartz."
Steven sighs in relief, satisfied. Pearl sits beside him, anything but.
TOO FAR
"Peridot told me some fun Gem facts," Amethyst says, but her voice is so flat Garnet immediately senses danger. "Like how big I'm supposed to be."
Her heart sank. This wasn't a conversation she'd ever been looking forward to. "Oh."
Amethyst crosses her arms. Her face is empty and pinched all at once- blank eyes and a wrinkled nose. "I'm mad at you."
"Amethyst," Garnet starts, but she's never exactly figure out what she'd say, either. "We're all defective. It's not a big deal."
"It is a big deal!" she snarls. "Don't you get it? You and Pearl choose to be defective. You got to be a cool fusion, and Pearl got to be free. All I did was exist! And now I'm short, and- and weak, and..." Amethyst hunched over a little. "Wrong."
Garnet responds accordingly, snatching Amethyst off the ground to cradle her close. She wishes this conversation never happened. She wishes that Gems didn't have a basis to need such a term. She wishes a lot of things. "Rose always said you were perfect," she murmured gently. "And I agree. Do you think she's lying?"
"No," she says, wiping her eyes with brutal swipes. "I just think she had low standards."
THE ANSWER
Sapphire is nice, Ruby's realized. She's got a kindness and patience to her that Ruby doesn't quite understand, especially when it's directed towards her.
"I've never had the pleasure of meeting a Ruby on her own," she says one night, over the campfire. Ruby laughs and squirms at the same time.
"Not much use to me on my own, my clarity."
"I doubt that," Sapphire says. "You've been wonderful in the time I've known you."
Ruby's face flares up, and so does the grass under her feet. She quickly stamps it out and tries to pretend this isn't the first compliment she's ever heard. Or, if not, the first in many hundreds of thousands of years.
Sapphire's smile was playful. Ruby couldn't help but wonder what about a single Ruby made her so happy.
STEVEN'S BIRTHDAY
Connie's fingers bunched up in her dress. "He's not going to grow up."
"It's hard to say," Greg says, which is just adult for 'yes'.
That is- such a hard pill to swallow. Connie blinks back tears and tries to act like she's fine. Like she's normal. Like she didn't just learn Steven would never grow up alongside her, or have a sweet sixteen and look actually sixteen, or maybe hold hands at a movie theatre. One sentence from Mr. Universe has ripped that option away from her- forever.
But they could still be friends! They could still be best friends, and she would come by every week for sword training. She would stay by his side. That's what being friends meant.
(Hidden behind the van, Steven clutches his stomach and wonders.)
IT COULD'VE BEEN GREAT
Peridot hadn't meant to offend the Crystal Gems. How was she supposed to know better? It was a salient reply- Rose Quartz didn't save squat, she literally left the planet with a giant bomb in it. She didn't understand why the others were so upset about it.
Peridot asks follow-up questions. Because that's how one learns.
"What happened to Rose Quartz, anyway?" she hums as they all go down the stairs. "She was your Injector, wasn't she?"
Steven, visibly uncomfortable- for various reasons- stuck his hands in his pockets. "She died, Peridot. She died giving birth to me."
"I don't follow," she admitted. Earth was so confusing.
"Steven exists," Pearl shot back, shoulders bunched. "And for him to be himself, Rose had to stop existing. It was her choice."
Death is a weird topic for Gems. Peridot knew, logically, that a Gem could die. And she'd seen plenty getting harvested over her years. But there's a marked difference between shards seeking their original forms and just... not existing. "How long ago was this?"
"Fourteen years."
Peridot pauses thoughtfully. That's... no time at all. Peridot didn't even remember being in the single digits of life, let alone death. It explained a few things, like why the Gems were still so unbalanced. Maybe death puts someone at emotional odds. Peridot honestly wouldn't know.
That just made her resolve more powerful. If the Gems were too hurt to listen to logic, that was okay. Peridot was smart enough to do it for them. And the Earth would be safe, carefully tended to by Yellow Diamond's grace. She just knew it.
MESSAGE RECEIVED
Yellow Diamond clenched her teeth, took a deep breath through her nose, and casually set the communicator to self-destruct.
"M- muh- my Diamond?" her Pearl beseeched.
"I'm fine, Pearl," she hummed, pinching back a headache. "Go have a Roaming Eye picked out for a mission to Earth."
"Yes, my Diamond."
She skittered out in a hurry. Ridiculous. Yellow Diamond had never caused her Pearl harm. It was unnecessary- a simple reprimand would suffice. The same kind she'd given that Peridot. Then she'd fallen on bargaining, trying to get her off that damn planet and onto a ship before it exploded. But it didn't work. Fine. The Peridot could explode without a second glance.
Yellow Diamond pulled up her registry of ranks. The Peridot was not the important part here. The Jasper was. An Era 1, hardy and bedazzled with medals. It would simply be a waste to not retrieve her. The Lazuli was an old one as well, so old she'd forgotten her own facet. A side effect of the mirror, Yellow had quickly deduced. Either or both of them would be beneficial to regain, but the Jasper was hers so she got priority.
"Who to send," she muttered to herself. The Earth seemed to devour Quartzes, and anything higher-ranking would find it a waste of resources. There was always that specialty Aquamarine, but she'd have to ask Blue for that one, and Yellow had no energy to deal with Blue's sobbing after the argument she'd just had.
"Fine," she groused, clicking on a Ruby. She set the group to five members. "One of them will be smart enough to get what I want."
LOG DATE 7 15 2
"There's words, you know," Garnet says, a bit amused by how much she sounded like Connie. "For a lack of interest in fusion."
Peridot scoffs, waving it off. Her hands are so puny- and Garnet's always had a weakness for tiny hands. "You mean normal? Yes, I'm aware."
Garnet huffed out a little laugh. "Pearl and Amethyst don't mind. But you're not comfortable with it. Might be a learned thing. Might be how you work. S'fine either way." She smiled a little, teasing. "It's a human word."
That caught her attention, mainly because she was still researching humans. "Humans have words for fusion?"
"Sort of. It's a word for a type of intimacy like fusion. Means you don't have any personal interest in it- or it might even make you uncomfortable." Peridot shifts a little on the hay bale and Garnet feels some type of victory. "S'called asexual."
Peridot smiled to herself. "It's nice to know... I'm not alone."
Garnet felt warm and happy. She thought she might understand Connie a bit better now.
Author's Note: Season 2! Hope you enjoy. = )
-Mandaree1